Abstinence, Purity, Chastity – What do you think of when you hear those words?
August 12, 2017
Sometimes, when we talk, we use words and we assume everyone has the same understanding of the words. But this can lead to misunderstandings. So occasionally, we need to pause and clarify what we mean.
Today, let’s pause and clarify what we mean when we use the words abstinence, purity, and chastity in regards to sexual activity.
The most common definition of sexual abstinence is not engaging in any form of sexual activity. That isn’t just limited to vaginal, oral or anal sex. It includes any contact between your genitals and any part of your partner’s body or vice versa.
Purity and chastity are words often used when talking about moral or religious reasons for abstaining from (saying no to) sexual activity outside of marriage. These words are more about the attitude behind abstinence – the religious virtue that motivates someone to avoid sexual activity before marriage.
But not all people who choose abstinence base that decision on a religious reason. People choose to be abstinent for different reasons. Some people choose to be abstinent on possible fertile days to avoid pregnancy. Some people choose to be abstinent for longer periods of time. For instance, some people choose to be abstinent until they are out of college or until they are in a long-term committed relationship or until they are married. Some people even choose to be abstinent their entire lives.
Anybody can be abstinent. It doesn’t matter how old you are, what gender you are or what your sexual identity is.
Why might someone choose to be abstinent?
- Some people are abstinent to avoid pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Abstinence is the only free form of birth control and the only 100% effective way to avoid pregnancy or STDs.
- Other people are abstinent because they believe that is the morally correct choice or because it seems best for them. Abstinence makes them feel good about themselves.
- Some people are abstinent because they want to build a strong foundation for a relationship in other ways before beginning physical intimacy.
Some important things to consider:
- You don’t have to be a virgin to choose abstinence. Many people abstain from sexual activity at different times in their lives for different reasons.
- You don’t have to be religious to choose abstinence. Again, people from different backgrounds and belief systems abstain from sexual activity for different reasons.
- Find a trusted person to talk to. This is a big decision, and you don’t have to make it alone. Find a trusted friend or advisor – maybe a best friend, a parent, a pastor, a teacher, a counselor – and discuss this decision. If you can’t think of anyone off the top of your head or if you still have questions or feel uncertain after talking to your person, we’d be glad to listen and help you sort through your decision.
If you want more information about abstaining from sex or if you want helpful strategies for following through with this choice, we’d be happy to sit down with you and talk with you about this. Call us or stop in today.
And just to let you know, if you set a goal to refrain from sexual activity and you happen to fall short of this goal…good news! Tomorrow is a new day! Don’t give up! We believe in you!
Facing an unexpected pregnancy can bring a lot of emotions, and often, a sense of urgency to make a decision quickly. You may have seen options online to order abortion pills by mail and wondered if it’s a simple solution. Before making a decision, it’s important to understand how this option could affect your health and what steps you can take to make a fully informed decision. 1. Your Health Should Always Come First Mail-order abortion often skips important medical safeguards. In many cases, there is no in-person evaluation before receiving the drugs. That means key health factors, such as your medical history and potential risks, will not be fully considered. There can also be uncertainty about the source of the drugs, including how they were handled, stored, or dosed. In fact, the FDA does not recommend this option because the drugs’ quality, safety, and effectiveness cannot be guaranteed. Taking time to understand your health first is a smart and proactive way to protect yourself. 2. You Need Clear Answers About Your Pregnancy A pregnancy test alone doesn’t give you the full picture. Before considering abortion, it’s important to confirm details about your pregnancy through an ultrasound. An ultrasound can tell you: How far along are you? Whether the pregnancy is developing (or if you’ve miscarried ) Where the pregnancy is located These details matter more than you might think. Abortion pills are FDA-approved only through 10 weeks of gestation, and without accurate dating, it’s possible to miscalculate how far along you are. An ultrasound can also detect an ectopic pregnancy , which occurs outside the uterus and requires immediate medical attention. Abortion pills will not treat this condition. What’s more, if you’ve experienced a miscarriage, you may require medical follow-up to prevent complications. Getting these details first helps ensure your safety. We offer limited OB ultrasounds following positive lab-quality pregnancy testing with us. 3. It’s Important to Understand the Process and Risks Mail-order abortion may sound straightforward, but it’s important to know what it may actually involve. The process includes significant cramping and bleeding as the body expels the pregnancy, with some women describing the pain as being unexpectedly severe . Other side effects can include: Nausea or vomiting Fever or chills Diarrhea Headaches There are also potential risks , such as heavy bleeding, infection, or an incomplete abortion that may require additional medical care. Without in-person support, it can be difficult to know what’s expected and when something may need medical attention. You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone When everything feels overwhelming, it can help to take a moment to evaluate your next steps and get the information you need. At Collage, we provide no-cost, confidential services so you can ask questions, gather accurate information, and explore your options at your own pace in a one-on-one setting. Schedule your appointment today. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services. All abortion information sourced in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.
An unexpected pregnancy can already feel like a lot to carry. However, when your partner is strongly pushing you toward abortion, and you’re not sure what you want, it can feel even heavier. You may feel torn between your own emotions and his expectations, trying to keep the peace while feeling anxious or confused. If you’re in this situation, take a deep breath. At Collage, we understand how emotionally complicated this can be. You deserve a safe place to talk through what you’re feeling and be treated with respect. You don’t have to rush into a decision. Schedule a free appointment to learn how we can help you navigate this situation. It’s Your Decision Sometimes a partner’s reaction is rooted in panic. He may be thinking about finances, school, your relationship, or how unprepared he feels. In his mind, abortion may seem like the fastest solution. When someone repeatedly insists on one outcome, refuses to listen, or makes you feel guilty for even considering other options, it can start to feel like your voice doesn’t matter. And in a moment this vulnerable, your voice matters more than ever. Giving Yourself Space If conversations feel tense or emotionally draining, it’s okay to take a step back. You have the right to say something like, “I need time to think. I’m not ready to decide right now.” Creating a little space can help you reconnect with your own thoughts instead of constantly reacting to his. Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause, breathe, and remind yourself that you don’t have to figure everything out in one day. You Deserve Respect It’s also important to pay attention to warning signs. If your partner threatens to leave, withdraw support, manipulate you emotionally, or isolate you from others unless you choose abortion, that is not love. That is control. You deserve a relationship where your safety and well-being are protected, not threatened. If you ever feel unsafe, reach out for immediate support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) offers 24/7 confidential resources to help you get the assistance you need. You Deserve a Safe Place to Talk It Through At Collage, we’re here to support you. You don’t have to walk into our center with a decision already made. You can come in simply because you need someone to listen, help you process, and remind you that you are not alone. This is your pregnancy and future. If your partner is pressuring you and you’re feeling unsure, please know that help is available. We offer a calm, caring environment where you can talk openly, ask questions, and explore your options without feeling judged or persuaded to make a specific decision. You are not alone in this. Schedule an appointment with Collage today. We’re here to walk with you, one step at a time. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .
Facing an unplanned pregnancy can bring up difficult questions, especially when it comes to your relationship. You may be wondering whether you are required to tell your partner you’re considering an abortion, or whether it’s okay to keep that information private. Fear of conflict, concern about pressure, or a desire to protect your emotional well-being can all play a role. These feelings are common, and it’s okay to take time to think through what feels safest and healthiest for you. Collage offers a confidential and non-judgmental space where you can discuss these concerns without pressure. Before making any decisions, we provide cost-free pregnancy services , including ultrasounds, to help you understand important details about your pregnancy. Our goal is to give you accurate medical information and the space you need to move forward with clarity. You’re welcome to schedule a private, confidential appointment to learn more when you feel ready. Understanding Your Autonomy In many states, adults are not legally required to tell a partner if they’re considering or planning an abortion. Medical decisions about your body are generally protected by privacy laws, meaning the decision is legally yours. Some exceptions exist, such as parental involvement laws for minors, but partner notification is typically not required for adults. Even when the law is clear, the emotional side of this decision can feel complicated. You may feel torn between maintaining privacy and wanting honesty in your relationship. There is no single “right” approach, only what best supports your well-being and circumstances. When Safety Is a Concern In some relationships, sharing your thoughts with a partner may lead to understanding or emotional support. In others, it may not feel safe. If you’re worried about pressure, manipulation, anger, or physical harm, prioritizing your safety is essential. You’re never obligated to share information that could put you at risk. If you feel unsafe or unsure, confidential help is available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-SAFE). Support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Why Medical Information Matters Whether or not you involve your partner, having accurate medical information is an important step. An ultrasound can help confirm gestational age, pregnancy location, and whether the pregnancy is viable. These details matter for your health and can help you feel more grounded as you consider your next steps. You Are Not Alone At Collage, we offer a confidential, respectful environment where your voice and concerns are taken seriously. Our team provides pregnancy confirmation, emotional support, and space to think through your situation without pressure or judgment. You deserve time, clarity, and peace of mind as you decide what is right for your life. Connect with Collage to discuss your questions in a supportive and confidential setting. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.
