The Emotional Side of STDs

Being diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease (STD) can be overwhelming. In addition to any medical concerns, there also may be a lot of emotions that go along with hearing you have an STD. If you’ve recently found out that you have an STD, it’s OK for you to feel all the feelings. Let’s look at some of the common emotions people might feel after being diagnosed.

Anger

Some people feel really angry when they get an STD diagnosis — angry at a partner, angry at themselves, angry at the universe. It’s OK to feel angry. But it’s also important to know that often, anger is a secondary emotion. So after you’ve given yourself permission to be angry for a little while, you may want to peel back a layer and see what’s beneath that anger. Maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s anxiety. Maybe it’s despair. Or maybe it’s embarrassment or worry about the stigma. We’ll talk about that more in a minute.

Betrayal

If you thought you’ve been in a mutually monogamous relationship – when you only both ever have sex with each other – and you believed you both entered the relationship with no STDs, you might feel really betrayed. Maybe you feel betrayed that your partner had an STD and didn’t tell you. Or maybe you feel betrayed that your partner was unfaithful to you and brought back an STD. That’s a normal response. You have every right to feel betrayed and hurt. And it will probably take some time to heal from that. It might help to talk to a trusted friend or family member or to a professional counselor.

Fear/Anxiety

This is probably brand-new territory for you. Anytime we’re facing the unknown, fear is common. Sometimes your fears may be related to the medical details — Will this impact my ability to have children in the future? If I’m pregnant now, how might this disease hurt my baby? Could this disease affect my brain? Doing too much research on the Internet or getting your information from people who aren’t experts may make your fear even worse. If you write down all your questions and ask your healthcare provider, you can get answers that might help calm some of your fears.

Sometimes your fears are related to the future — Will anyone want to have sex with me ever again? How am I supposed to talk about this when I start a new relationship? Those are valid fears. It makes sense that you’d feel anxious about those things. But it’s important that you remember that there are about 20 million new cases of STDs in the U.S. each year, so you’re certainly not alone. It’s possible to have a healthy, happy relationship after an STD diagnosis. Your healthcare provider can tell you more about that.

Depression

You might become depressed, losing interest in the things that brought you joy before, feeling less like your usual self. If your sad feelings become really intense or don’t go away after that initial couple weeks, talk to your doctor or healthcare provider. They’ll have the resources to help you.

Shame

Even though there were 2.4 million reported cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis in 2018 in the U.S. and there are 20 million new cases of all STDs combined every year, people don’t talk about it. There’s a lot of secrecy around STDs. That’s understandable – our sexual health is a private and personal thing. But a lot of times, secrecy breeds shame. And that shame can make you feel really lonely and isolated – even though there are literally millions of other people who are going through the same thing. Sometimes the power of shame can be broken by talking to just one understanding, compassionate person who can listen without judgment. If you don’t have that person in your life – or if you’re not sure – you can call us. A member of our staff will listen to you without judgment.

Worthlessness

We live in a culture that values perfection. Added to that – nearly all of the media portrays sex in this really polished, provocative, sensual way. The value of a person is often tied to how desirable, how sexy they are. And it’s hard to feel desirable or sexy if sex gave you this disease that you can give to someone else if you have sex again. This might make you feel like you’re not desirable, not worth as much as other people. Though we understand why you might feel that way, we need you to know that our culture lies to us about this. Your worth doesn’t have anything to do with how sexy you are, how many people would want to have sex with you, how polished your sex life is. You have value – so much value – just because you’re YOU. No disease can steal your value and worth.

Yes, this diagnosis is a big deal. And you deserve to get treatment and information for the best possible care for yourself. But this diagnosis doesn’t define you. You don’t deserve any less because of this.

If you’re struggling with all the big feelings after a diagnosis of an STD, we’re here for you. We’ll listen without judgment and we’ll guide you to the resources you need to help you feel like your best self.

< Older Post

Newer Post >

My Partner is Pressuring Me to Have an Abortion, But I’m Not Sure

February 10, 2026

An unexpected pregnancy can already feel like a lot to carry. However, when your partner is strongly pushing you toward abortion, and you’re not sure what you want, it can feel even heavier. You may feel torn between your own emotions and his expectations, trying to keep the peace while feeling anxious or confused. If you’re in this situation, take a deep breath. At Collage, we understand how emotionally complicated this can be. You deserve a safe place to talk through what you’re feeling and be treated with respect. You don’t have to rush into a decision. Schedule a free appointment to learn how we can help you navigate this situation. It’s Your Decision Sometimes a partner’s reaction is rooted in panic. He may be thinking about finances, school, your relationship, or how unprepared he feels. In his mind, abortion may seem like the fastest solution. When someone repeatedly insists on one outcome, refuses to listen, or makes you feel guilty for even considering other options, it can start to feel like your voice doesn’t matter. And in a moment this vulnerable, your voice matters more than ever. Giving Yourself Space If conversations feel tense or emotionally draining, it’s okay to take a step back. You have the right to say something like, “I need time to think. I’m not ready to decide right now.” Creating a little space can help you reconnect with your own thoughts instead of constantly reacting to his. Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause, breathe, and remind yourself that you don’t have to figure everything out in one day. You Deserve Respect It’s also important to pay attention to warning signs. If your partner threatens to leave, withdraw support, manipulate you emotionally, or isolate you from others unless you choose abortion, that is not love. That is control. You deserve a relationship where your safety and well-being are protected, not threatened. If you ever feel unsafe, reach out for immediate support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) offers 24/7 confidential resources to help you get the assistance you need. You Deserve a Safe Place to Talk It Through At Collage, we’re here to support you. You don’t have to walk into our center with a decision already made. You can come in simply because you need someone to listen, help you process, and remind you that you are not alone. This is your pregnancy and future. If your partner is pressuring you and you’re feeling unsure, please know that help is available. We offer a calm, caring environment where you can talk openly, ask questions, and explore your options without feeling judged or persuaded to make a specific decision. You are not alone in this. Schedule an appointment with Collage today. We’re here to walk with you, one step at a time. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .

Do I Have to Tell My Partner I Want an Abortion?

January 23, 2026

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can bring up difficult questions, especially when it comes to your relationship. You may be wondering whether you are required to tell your partner you’re considering an abortion, or whether it’s okay to keep that information private. Fear of conflict, concern about pressure, or a desire to protect your emotional well-being can all play a role. These feelings are common, and it’s okay to take time to think through what feels safest and healthiest for you. Collage offers a confidential and non-judgmental space where you can discuss these concerns without pressure. Before making any decisions, we provide cost-free pregnancy services , including ultrasounds, to help you understand important details about your pregnancy. Our goal is to give you accurate medical information and the space you need to move forward with clarity. You’re welcome to schedule a private, confidential appointment to learn more when you feel ready. Understanding Your Autonomy In many states, adults are not legally required to tell a partner if they’re considering or planning an abortion. Medical decisions about your body are generally protected by privacy laws, meaning the decision is legally yours. Some exceptions exist, such as parental involvement laws for minors, but partner notification is typically not required for adults. Even when the law is clear, the emotional side of this decision can feel complicated. You may feel torn between maintaining privacy and wanting honesty in your relationship. There is no single “right” approach, only what best supports your well-being and circumstances. When Safety Is a Concern In some relationships, sharing your thoughts with a partner may lead to understanding or emotional support. In others, it may not feel safe. If you’re worried about pressure, manipulation, anger, or physical harm, prioritizing your safety is essential. You’re never obligated to share information that could put you at risk. If you feel unsafe or unsure, confidential help is available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-SAFE). Support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Why Medical Information Matters Whether or not you involve your partner, having accurate medical information is an important step. An ultrasound can help confirm gestational age, pregnancy location, and whether the pregnancy is viable. These details matter for your health and can help you feel more grounded as you consider your next steps. You Are Not Alone At Collage, we offer a confidential, respectful environment where your voice and concerns are taken seriously. Our team provides pregnancy confirmation, emotional support, and space to think through your situation without pressure or judgment. You deserve time, clarity, and peace of mind as you decide what is right for your life. Connect with Collage to discuss your questions in a supportive and confidential setting. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

How to Handle Holiday Gatherings When You Haven’t Shared Your Pregnancy News Yet

December 17, 2025

Holiday gatherings often bring familiar traditions, questions, and expectations. But when you’re carrying the news of an unexpected pregnancy that you haven’t shared, the season may feel different this year. You might be participating in celebrations while quietly navigating thoughts and emotions that others cannot see. If you want clarity about your pregnancy or a private space to consider your next steps, Collage offers free services, including pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and confidential consultations, to support your needs. Schedule your appointment today. Prepare Yourself, Not the Perfect Conversation You may not be ready to share your news, and that’s okay. What can help is preparing yourself: deciding on the topics you’re comfortable discussing, the questions you want to avoid, and the boundaries you want to set. This proactivity allows you to answer without feeling like you need to tell all and not overshare. Create Space Throughout the Gathering Instead of thinking about the whole event at once, break it into smaller, manageable moments. Emotional regulation becomes easier when you give yourself space to reset. Try: Stepping outside for a few breaths of fresh air Finding a quiet room for a brief pause Taking a short walk after a meal Giving yourself permission to excuse yourself from overwhelming conversations These small steps can help protect your peace. Remember that if at any point during the gathering you’re ready to go home, go ahead. Take care of yourself by calling it a day when necessary. Meet Your Basic Needs Early pregnancy symptoms such as nausea and fatigue can be uncomfortable during gatherings. Come prepared to meet your own needs by bringing pregnancy nausea candy, snacks to settle your stomach, and a water bottle. Store these items in your purse, knowing they’re ready when you need them. You Don’t Have to Navigate This Season Alone If you want clarity before facing holiday conversations, Collage can help you understand your pregnancy and answer questions in a calm, confidential setting, which can make these boundaries easier to hold. Contact us whenever you’re ready to schedule a free appointment. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .