The Emotional Side of STDs

Being diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease (STD) can be overwhelming. In addition to any medical concerns, there also may be a lot of emotions that go along with hearing you have an STD. If you’ve recently found out that you have an STD, it’s OK for you to feel all the feelings. Let’s look at some of the common emotions people might feel after being diagnosed.

Anger

Some people feel really angry when they get an STD diagnosis — angry at a partner, angry at themselves, angry at the universe. It’s OK to feel angry. But it’s also important to know that often, anger is a secondary emotion. So after you’ve given yourself permission to be angry for a little while, you may want to peel back a layer and see what’s beneath that anger. Maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s anxiety. Maybe it’s despair. Or maybe it’s embarrassment or worry about the stigma. We’ll talk about that more in a minute.

Betrayal

If you thought you’ve been in a mutually monogamous relationship – when you only both ever have sex with each other – and you believed you both entered the relationship with no STDs, you might feel really betrayed. Maybe you feel betrayed that your partner had an STD and didn’t tell you. Or maybe you feel betrayed that your partner was unfaithful to you and brought back an STD. That’s a normal response. You have every right to feel betrayed and hurt. And it will probably take some time to heal from that. It might help to talk to a trusted friend or family member or to a professional counselor.

Fear/Anxiety

This is probably brand-new territory for you. Anytime we’re facing the unknown, fear is common. Sometimes your fears may be related to the medical details — Will this impact my ability to have children in the future? If I’m pregnant now, how might this disease hurt my baby? Could this disease affect my brain? Doing too much research on the Internet or getting your information from people who aren’t experts may make your fear even worse. If you write down all your questions and ask your healthcare provider, you can get answers that might help calm some of your fears.

Sometimes your fears are related to the future — Will anyone want to have sex with me ever again? How am I supposed to talk about this when I start a new relationship? Those are valid fears. It makes sense that you’d feel anxious about those things. But it’s important that you remember that there are about 20 million new cases of STDs in the U.S. each year, so you’re certainly not alone. It’s possible to have a healthy, happy relationship after an STD diagnosis. Your healthcare provider can tell you more about that.

Depression

You might become depressed, losing interest in the things that brought you joy before, feeling less like your usual self. If your sad feelings become really intense or don’t go away after that initial couple weeks, talk to your doctor or healthcare provider. They’ll have the resources to help you.

Shame

Even though there were 2.4 million reported cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis in 2018 in the U.S. and there are 20 million new cases of all STDs combined every year, people don’t talk about it. There’s a lot of secrecy around STDs. That’s understandable – our sexual health is a private and personal thing. But a lot of times, secrecy breeds shame. And that shame can make you feel really lonely and isolated – even though there are literally millions of other people who are going through the same thing. Sometimes the power of shame can be broken by talking to just one understanding, compassionate person who can listen without judgment. If you don’t have that person in your life – or if you’re not sure – you can call us. A member of our staff will listen to you without judgment.

Worthlessness

We live in a culture that values perfection. Added to that – nearly all of the media portrays sex in this really polished, provocative, sensual way. The value of a person is often tied to how desirable, how sexy they are. And it’s hard to feel desirable or sexy if sex gave you this disease that you can give to someone else if you have sex again. This might make you feel like you’re not desirable, not worth as much as other people. Though we understand why you might feel that way, we need you to know that our culture lies to us about this. Your worth doesn’t have anything to do with how sexy you are, how many people would want to have sex with you, how polished your sex life is. You have value – so much value – just because you’re YOU. No disease can steal your value and worth.

Yes, this diagnosis is a big deal. And you deserve to get treatment and information for the best possible care for yourself. But this diagnosis doesn’t define you. You don’t deserve any less because of this.

If you’re struggling with all the big feelings after a diagnosis of an STD, we’re here for you. We’ll listen without judgment and we’ll guide you to the resources you need to help you feel like your best self.

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I Don’t Want Another Abortion

November 11, 2025

Learning you’re unexpectedly pregnant can bring up complicated emotions, uncertainty, fear, or even exhaustion if you’ve faced this situation before. You may know that you don’t want another abortion, but still wonder what options exist for your future. At Collage, we provide free and confidential support so you can explore your choices in a compassionate environment. Whether you want to understand what parenting or adoption could look like or simply need someone to listen, you’re not alone. Schedule a free appointment today to learn how we can help. Exploring Parenting Parenting can feel like an enormous responsibility, especially if your finances, relationships, or housing situation are uncertain. Many women ask themselves: “Can I really do this on my own?” “Where will I find the help I need?” “What kind of future can I provide for my child?” These are real and valid questions. At Collage, we’ll help you identify the resources and support available in your community. From offering a warm, supportive presence as you explore this option to providing referrals for resources like housing or childcare support, we’ll ensure you’re not facing these challenges alone. Parenting can be both demanding and deeply rewarding. With encouragement, community connections, and the right information, you can feel more confident in providing a stable, nurturing environment for your child. Understanding Adoption If parenting doesn’t feel like the right fit for your current situation, adoption offers another path forward, one rooted in hope and love. You remain in control of the process, deciding how involved you wish to be in your child’s life. You can select from multiple adoption plans depending on your comfort level: Open adoption: Allows for ongoing communication and contact between you, your child, and the adoptive family. Semi-open adoption: Offers limited contact through a third party, maintaining privacy while keeping some connection. Closed adoption: Protects complete confidentiality with no exchange of identifying information. Financial support is available throughout the adoption process. You’ll never pay for legal or medical services related to adoption. Best of all, adoption agencies can help ensure your needs are met and your wishes are respected every step of the way. Adoption is not an easy decision, but for some women, it brings a sense of peace and purpose, knowing their child is loved and cared for in a stable environment. We can discuss this option with you and offer referrals to reputable agencies so you feel informed. Taking the Next Step Your situation is unique, and so is your decision. Whether you’re considering parenting or adoption or simply need time to process your feelings, Collage is here to provide information and encouragement. We’re available to answer questions, explain your options, and connect you with trusted community resources, all at no cost and in a confidential setting. Schedule your free appointment today to start finding clarity and peace of mind. FAQ: Is it normal to feel uncertain about my decision? Yes. Many women experience mixed emotions when facing an unexpected pregnancy. It’s okay to take time and talk through your options before deciding. What if I don’t think I can afford to parent? We can connect you with programs and community partners that provide material and emotional support, so you will feel more equipped to parent if you choose to. How does adoption work? You remain in control. You’ll choose the family and the level of contact and receive guidance from trusted professionals who handle the legal and practical aspects of the process. Are services at Collage really free? Yes. All services are completely free and confidential. Your privacy and comfort are our priority. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

What Can Guys Do with an Unexpected Pregnancy?

By Kirsten Berns • October 28, 2025

Finding out your partner is unexpectedly pregnant can change everything in an instant. You may feel shocked, worried, or unsure about your role. Those feelings are normal. What matters most is how you respond in this moment and what steps you take next. At Collage, we provide no-cost and confidential services for women and men walking through unexpected pregnancies. Schedule an appointment to learn how we can support you—you don’t have to carry the weight of this situation alone. Understanding Your Own Feelings Before you can support your partner, it’s important to process what you’re experiencing. Talking with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor can help you sort through your emotions and understand what this news means. Showing your partner that you are engaging with your own feelings demonstrates that you are taking the pregnancy seriously. Walking With Her Your partner may be feeling the same uncertainty and fear that you are. One of the most powerful things you can do is simply be present. Attend appointments with her, listen when she shares her concerns, and offer support, like running errands or helping with everyday tasks. These small actions communicate that she is not facing this alone. Learning Together Getting informed is one of the best steps you can take together. At Collage, we provide option information so you and your partner can learn more about parenting, adoption, and abortion. Our staff will answer questions and help you understand what each option may look like. Having reliable, unbiased information allows you to approach this decision more confidently. Taking the Next Step This is not something you have to figure out overnight. Unexpected pregnancies can feel overwhelming, but there are resources, support, and people who care about both of you. Collage is here to listen, guide, and provide clarity when you need it most. Request your no-cost and confidential appointment today. Moving forward together can make all the difference. FAQ: What role should I play if my partner is pregnant? Listening, staying present, and supporting her as she makes decisions is crucial. You don’t have to have every answer, but being by her side matters. Can I attend appointments with her? Yes, and many women appreciate having their partner there. It shows support and can help both of you learn about options together. What if my partner chooses parenting and I don’t feel ready to be a dad? It’s normal to feel unprepared. Talking through your concerns with someone you trust and learning about options can help you move forward with more clarity. Does Collage provide abortions? Collage does not provide or refer for abortions. However, we do provide no-cost pre-abortion screenings, confidential services, accurate information, and compassionate support so you and your partner can make informed decisions.

How Will Abortion Affect Me Mentally?

September 24, 2025

When considering abortion, it’s natural to wonder how the decision could affect your mental health. While every woman’s experience is different, being aware of possible emotional impacts and taking time to reflect on your circumstances can help you make an informed choice. At Collage, we provide free, confidential support so you don’t have to navigate these questions alone. Our staff is here to listen, answer your questions, and connect you with the resources you need as you process your options. Contact us to schedule your appointment today. What Research Suggests Research has shown that abortion can lead to a range of emotional responses. The American Psychological Association notes that some women experience grief, sadness, or even clinically significant issues like depression and anxiety afterward. Certain factors may make these outcomes more likely, such as: A history of mental health challenges Pressure from others to make a decision Lack of support or secrecy about the pregnancy Strong personal, cultural, or spiritual beliefs Wanting to continue the pregnancy but feeling unable to Recognizing how these factors may apply to your situation can help you prepare and seek support. You Have Other Options You are the one who will live with this decision, so it’s important not to rush. Confirming your pregnancy with a lab- quality test and ultrasound can provide clarity and help you understand your options, which include parenting and adoption. Speaking with a counselor or a healthcare professional can also give you space to process your feelings without judgment. We’re Here for You At Collage, we offer free pregnancy testing, limited ultrasounds, and confidential consultations so you can explore your options with accurate information and compassionate support. Schedule your free appointment today. You deserve the time, space, and care to make a confident decision with your mental health top of mind. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do provide pre-abortion screenings.