Gaslighting In Relationships
January 13, 2023
If you spend any time on the self-help side of social media, you’ve probably heard the term “gaslighting” thrown around as it becomes part of the mainstream vocabulary. But what does it really mean to gaslight someone, and how can you defend yourself if it happens to you?
What is "Gaslighting?"
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which someone makes you doubt your thoughts, feelings, and perception of reality. The term is named after the 1944 film,
Gaslight, where the main character’s husband slowly convinces her that she is going insane. As in the movie, an abusive person can gain power over you by eroding your self-trust, allowing them to avoid accountability for wrongdoing or making you dependent on them in your decision-making. This can be done through various tactics, like denying events that you know happened, manipulating evidence to make you question your recollection of events, or even planting false memories in your mind.
Recognizing Gaslighting
Gaslighting can be incredibly damaging, as it can cause you to doubt your sanity and even lead to long-term psychological damage. You can protect yourself by learning to recognize it and preparing ways to respond.
Here are some signs that you may be experiencing gaslighting:
- You constantly second-guess yourself.
- You feel like you’re going crazy or that something is “off,” but you can’t put your finger on it.
- You feel isolated and disconnected from others.
Responding to Gaslighting
Once you realize that someone in your life is gaslighting you, it’s important to take action. Here are some steps you can take to respond to gaslighting:
- Document what’s happening. Keep a record of the events and conversations that are causing you to doubt yourself. This can help reassure yourself and others that you’re not imagining things.
- Set boundaries with the person who is gaslighting you and make it clear that their behavior is unacceptable. This might involve setting limits on how much time you spend with them or telling them that you won’t engage in discussions that make you feel uncomfortable. Some helpful phrases for setting these boundaries can include:
- “I was there and know what I saw/heard.”
- “I’m not interested in debating what happened with you.”
- “I’m making this decision for myself.”
- “I hear what you’re saying, and it isn’t what I experienced.”
- “I need space, and I’m walking away from this conversation.”
- Seek support. It’s crucial to have a support system in place when dealing with gaslighting. This might include friends, family, or a therapist who can provide a safe and supportive space to talk about what’s happening.
Gaslighting can be a difficult and mentally draining experience but remember you have the power to take control of your own reality and seek help when needed. Don’t let anyone make you doubt your own thoughts, feelings, or experiences. In case no one has told you recently, you have incredible value and worth and no one can take that away.
What do you do when those closest to you start pushing you toward a decision that doesn’t feel right? Pressure from family or friends to choose abortion can leave you feeling stuck, unheard, and unsure of what to do next. How can you hold firm in your decision while dealing with well-meaning but overwhelming advice? Here’s what you can do to navigate this difficult situation with strength and resilience. Mental Health and Pressure Your decision should be your own—one that isn’t influenced by guilt or outside expectations. Studies show that women who feel pressured into abortion are more likely to experience guilt, anxiety, depression, and other negative mental health outcomes. Protecting your mental and emotional health starts with making a choice that aligns with what you truly want. Ways to Handle the Pressure Since you understand why this decision needs to be yours, here are some practical steps to help you handle outside pressure. Give Yourself Time You don’t have to decide right away. Take a moment, think through your feelings, and give yourself the gift to reflect without feeling rushed. You're less likely to regret a decision made on your terms. Learn About All Your Options Abortion isn’t your only choice. Parenting and adoption are also possibilities, each with its own forms of support and resources. Learning more about these options can help you make an informed decision you feel at peace with. Set Boundaries It can be tough to stand your ground when others have strong opinions about your decision. Clearly expressing your thoughts by setting boundaries can help you avoid unwanted pressure. Letting others know you need time and space to think can help shift the conversation away from their influence and back to what’s best for you. Advice from a Third Party Getting a different perspective on your situation can be helpful when seeking advice from someone outside your inner circle. This could be a professional counselor, an online support group, or a caring team member at Collage . You deserve people in your life who want to understand you without judgment. You Are Not Alone Even if those around you don’t fully understand, there are people who do. A supportive environment can make all the difference as you navigate this decision. Collage is here to walk with you during this time. We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, pregnancy options information, and more at no cost so you can get informed and have the support you need to move forward with certainty. Schedule a confidential appointment today.
Discovering you’re pregnant when you weren’t expecting can feel like the ground has shifted beneath you. A flood of questions may rush in. What do I do? Who can I talk to? How will this change my life? In moments like these, having a strong support system can make all the difference. The people around you—family, friends, a partner, or trusted mentors—can provide clarity, encouragement, and resources to help you navigate your options. Why Support Systems Matter It’s easy to feel isolated during an unexpected pregnancy with high stress and emotions. However, decisions made in isolation can be overwhelming and may lead to regret. Having a support system allows you to process your emotions, ask questions, and consider your next steps with a clear mind. Those who care about you can offer reassurance and help you explore the emotional, physical, and practical aspects of your decision. Avoiding Pressure and Outside Influence Unfortunately, some women experience pressure from their partner, family members, or even friends to make a decision they aren’t comfortable with. A healthy support system respects your right to make an informed choice without coercion. If you’re feeling pressured, it’s essential to reach out to someone who will listen, not dictate. Support should come from those who uplift and empower you, not those who push you into a choice based on their preferences. Seeking Reliable Information It’s crucial to have access to accurate medical information about abortion, its risks, and its alternatives. A strong support system can help you connect with organizations (such as Collage ) that offer factual, judgment-free care. You can also seek help from professional counselors or a mentor, but ultimately, surrounding yourself with people who prioritize your well-being can bring insight and peace of mind to your decision-making process. We’re Here For You At Collage, we understand how important support is when considering your options. We offer free and confidential pregnancy services, including lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, abortion information, and more so you can make an informed choice. Even if you don’t feel you have a support system in your life, you have one with us. Reach out today to learn more about how we’re here for you.
If you’re thinking about abortion, an ultrasound is a crucial step to gather essential information about your pregnancy. It provides key details that can help determine which options are available to you and ensures your health and safety as you make this important decision. At Collage , we offer free limited OB ultrasounds to give you the clarity and support you need, as well as more information on your pregnancy options. Ultrasounds During Pregnancy An ultrasound is a diagnostic tool that uses sound waves to create detailed images of your body. These images provide vital insights into your pregnancy, helping you make an informed decision. Here are three critical pieces of information an ultrasound can reveal: 1. The Location of Your Pregnancy An ultrasound can confirm if your pregnancy is located in the uterus. Sometimes, a pregnancy can implant outside the uterus, typically in a fallopian tube, resulting in an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is a serious condition that cannot result in a live birth and requires immediate medical attention to avoid a life-threatening situation. Even if you’re considering abortion, identifying an ectopic pregnancy through ultrasound is essential to protect your health. 2. How Far Along You Are (Gestational Age) Understanding how far along you are is critical for determining which abortion options you can access. For example, the abortion pill is FDA-approved only for pregnancies up to ten weeks gestation. If your pregnancy is further along, a surgical abortion would be the alternative option available, depending on the circumstances. Period-tracking apps can estimate gestational age, but they lack the accuracy of an ultrasound, which can precisely date your pregnancy. 3. Whether Your Pregnancy Is Progressing Not all pregnancies continue as expected—approximately 26% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. An ultrasound can detect if a miscarriage has occurred so you can follow up with the appropriate care plan. Protect Your Health As you can see, an ultrasound is an essential step in protecting your health and understanding your options. You deserve to make an informed and confident decision and the free limited OB ultrasounds Collage provides will help you to do just that. Contact us today to schedule your appointment. Our care and support are designed to help you through this crucial time. Let us be a source of strength for you.
