Thrive – A Beautiful Reminder We All Need To Hear

April 1, 2017
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A beautiful reminder we all need to hear… from the heart of this year’s (2017) banquet speaker, Melinda Clark.

She’s only three. She twirls in her new dress and looks up, looks for approval. “Am I cute?” I smile. And choose my words carefully. “I love to watch you twirl. You have so much energy. And your smile is wonderful. You are amazing.”


She’s sixteen. She doesn’t twirl. She fidgets with her scarf, trying to make it fall just so. She pulls her sweater down, hoping to readjust the shape. She flicks at her makeup. “Do I look okay?” I smile. And still choose my words carefully. “I love the way your eyes sparkle. Your smile is contagious. You are amazing.”


My heart sighs for the weight they already carry. Wondering if the way they look is good enough. The weight of wondering if they’re *enough* for everyone around them. That nameless, faceless “everyone” that has such expectations for girls growing up in today’s world. They already feel the need to know if others approve. If they’ve passed the test.


So I affirm that they are more. More than the sum of their parts. More than what shows up on the outside. More than what they accomplish. More than what they can produce. More than what “everyone” is wearing today. More than whether or not guys’ eyes light up and linger. Everything that matters most about them shows up in the ways their eyes dance, their smiles dance, their feet hop. They matter simply because they do.


I want them to know this, for their hearts to be convinced of their incredible beauty. Because I also know that one third of girls are in an abusive relationship during high school. And that almost ten percent of girls said that the first time they had sex, they “didn’t want it to happen.” I know that many girls keep having sex, not because they want it, but because they think that “at least for that moment, I matter to someone.” And if two lines show up on a pregnancy test, that positive result is the least positive thing that has ever happened to them because they simply do not know how to handle an event that they think will reduce them to nothing more than a statistic.


So I want these girls, and every girl in Collage’s communities, to know that they are more. They are more than just the next sexual partner. More than a set of reproductive organs waiting for a guy to take notice. That they are worthy of a relationship where their boundaries are respected. Where their values are affirmed. Where their stories matter. Their stories deserve to be written. They are a glorious, breath-taking jumble of dreams, skills, memories, relationships, hopes, strengths, fears, and everything that makes them unique. And incredibly valuable. They have the right to choose when and with whom to have sex. And they are wise to put off having sex, no matter what anyone else tells them. And I want you–their neighbors, teachers, friends, mentors, parents, and grandparents–to have words to speak that will fill up empty places and fill them so full that they can’t help but thrive. I want you to see how essential you are to the young women in your life so that you step into the places that will otherwise feel less than full.


Girls all around us need to know this. And if you are the one who needs to hear it, hear me say it soft and firm, “You are amazing.”

What Can Guys Do with an Unexpected Pregnancy?

By Kirsten Berns • October 28, 2025
Finding out your partner is unexpectedly pregnant can change everything in an instant. You may feel shocked, worried, or unsure about your role. Those feelings are normal. What matters most is how you respond in this moment and what steps you take next. At Collage, we provide no-cost and confidential services for women and men walking through unexpected pregnancies. Schedule an appointment to learn how we can support you—you don’t have to carry the weight of this situation alone. Understanding Your Own Feelings Before you can support your partner, it’s important to process what you’re experiencing. Talking with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor can help you sort through your emotions and understand what this news means. Showing your partner that you are engaging with your own feelings demonstrates that you are taking the pregnancy seriously. Walking With Her Your partner may be feeling the same uncertainty and fear that you are. One of the most powerful things you can do is simply be present. Attend appointments with her, listen when she shares her concerns, and offer support, like running errands or helping with everyday tasks. These small actions communicate that she is not facing this alone. Learning Together Getting informed is one of the best steps you can take together. At Collage, we provide option information so you and your partner can learn more about parenting, adoption, and abortion. Our staff will answer questions and help you understand what each option may look like. Having reliable, unbiased information allows you to approach this decision more confidently. Taking the Next Step This is not something you have to figure out overnight. Unexpected pregnancies can feel overwhelming, but there are resources, support, and people who care about both of you. Collage is here to listen, guide, and provide clarity when you need it most. Request your no-cost and confidential appointment today. Moving forward together can make all the difference. FAQ: What role should I play if my partner is pregnant? Listening, staying present, and supporting her as she makes decisions is crucial. You don’t have to have every answer, but being by her side matters. Can I attend appointments with her? Yes, and many women appreciate having their partner there. It shows support and can help both of you learn about options together. What if my partner chooses parenting and I don’t feel ready to be a dad? It’s normal to feel unprepared. Talking through your concerns with someone you trust and learning about options can help you move forward with more clarity.  Does Collage provide abortions? Collage does not provide or refer for abortions. However, we do provide no-cost pre-abortion screenings, confidential services, accurate information, and compassionate support so you and your partner can make informed decisions.