New Beginnings: 5 Resolutions for the New Year

The new year is often a time of making vague resolutions. But few of us turn those vague resolutions into specific action plans.

As you think about finding the right person to date, beginning a new relationship or improving a current relationship, keep these specific tangible resolution actions in mind:

1 - Be the person you want for a partner

Think about all the characteristics you want in a partner – loving, kind, funny, thoughtful, generous, fun, etc. Now try to be all those things. If you become more loving and kind and funny and thoughtful and generous and fun, you will like yourself more. You’ll respect yourself more. You’ll be more comfortable and confident. The more you love yourself, the more likely you’ll be to form strong, healthy relationships with others.

Leave the baggage behind

Often, when we look back, we see only the mistakes we have made. It’s healthy to correct and learn from mistakes, but dwelling on those mistakes or carrying the weight of them with us can cause us to get stuck in negative patterns of behavior. Lugging emotional baggage into a new relationship can sabotage your chances for a healthy, happy relationship. Own mistakes, apologize for them, learn from them and move on. Resolve to have a clean slate, not allowing past mistakes to rule your future.

2 - Find a hobby

And, though we’d like to convince ourselves otherwise, watching Netflix doesn’t count as a hobby. Take a painting class or an exercise class. Go hiking. Learn a new language. Refinish furniture or take up photography. The most interesting people never stop learning and growing. Invest in yourself. You’re worth it!

3 - Give up the hook up

If you’re serious about wanting a healthy, stable relationship, you know the hook up isn’t going to help achieve that goal. One-night stands put you at greater risk for STDs and unexpected pregnancies. And hook ups based only on physical attraction don’t send the message that you’re looking for a real relationship.

4 - Maintain friendships

It’s easy to get so caught up in a dating relationship that we ditch our friends. Even if he’s the one, you still need strong friendships. So make time to nurture and maintain friendships. Having friends is good for your physical health. A study of 222 people in 2015 found that people with smaller social circles are at greater risk for early mortality (death) than even people who drink excessively or suffer from obesity. And having friends is good for your mental health. Friends boost your happiness and reduce your stress. Strong friendships help boost your confidence and increase your sense of belonging and purpose. So don’t get so caught up in a dating relationship that you neglect your friendships. Your life and health depend on it.

By turning those large, vague resolutions into tangible action plans, you may start to see actual changes this year!

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