My Boyfriend Cheated On Me

October 6, 2018
Paint Texture Border

It can be devastating to find out your boyfriend cheated on you. If this has happened to you, you’re probably having all the feelings — shock, disbelief, anger, sadness, grief, fear. All of that is perfectly normal.


You might feel completely lost, wondering what to do now. Do you stay? Do you leave him? Is he really sorry? Can you even trust your own judgment now?


Or maybe you’re just really, really angry. Or really, really sad. And you don’t know where to go from here.

We don’t have all the answers, and we won’t pretend we do. But we do care about you, and we want you to know you don’t have to handle this hard thing alone. So we’ve made a list of some do’s and don’ts that you might find helpful.


Do grieve.
Cry, scream, eat some ice cream, punch a punching bag – do whatever it is you do when you’re really sad. Someone violated your trust, and that’s definitely something worth grieving. Allow yourself time to feel all the yucky emotions you’re feeling.


Don’t plot revenge.
When you first find out and you’re feeling the hot rage of it all, you might be tempted to do something to get back at him. You might want to spread horrible rumors about him. You might even be tempted to try to hurt him by doing something that really hurts you, like hooking up with his friend. Or maybe you want to vandalize his truck, like in that Carrie Underwood song. Trust us, you really want to resist all of these vengeful urges. In the end, you’ll only hurt yourself more. Even though revenge might feel sweet in the now, you’re better than that.


Do try to figure out why.
If he wants to talk with you, give him a chance to explain why he cheated. We’re not saying his behavior can be excused. It can’t. But understanding why may give you some peace of mind and might help you in the future.


But don’t blame yourself.
He might try to excuse his choices by casting some blame on you. Or maybe you’re tempted to blame yourself, believing you somehow drove him to cheat. Please believe us — you are not at fault. Though problems in relationships are nearly always caused by both people, the cheater is always the only one responsible for the infidelity, the cheating.


Do evaluate your options & take time to make a decision.
Maybe you know immediately that cheating is an absolute deal-breaker. If so, that’s fine. Make that choice and move forward. But maybe he’s really apologetic and you aren’t sure what to do. It’s OK to feel confused and overwhelmed right now. The decision whether or not to stay with someone who cheats on you is your decision. Nobody else can tell you what to do. Take some time to think or to talk to a trusted friend or family member or to a counselor. There is no rush.


Do get tested for STDs.
If your boyfriend was sexually active with someone else, that increases your risk for a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Whether you choose to stay with him or not, it’s a good idea to get screened for any diseases.


Do forgive.
This doesn’t mean we’re saying stay in the relationship. Forgiveness doesn’t have to mean you give your boyfriend another chance. And it absolutely doesn’t mean you’re saying what he did is OK or glossing over it all. No, forgiving him isn’t about him at all. Forgiveness is about you. When you forgive him, you’re saying what he did was really wrong, but that you’re choosing to release feelings of bitterness and resentment. It doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean reconciling the relationship. It just means you’re freeing yourself from the kind of anger that eats away at you.


Don’t jump into another relationship too soon.
Allow yourself time to grieve and time to heal. Enjoy your friendships and your own hobbies. Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Though it might be tempting to jump right into another relationship to somehow prove to yourself that you weren’t the problem, that might not be what’s best for you emotionally. Give yourself time to heal from this experience so that you can enter the next relationship whole and healthy.


But do open yourself to trusting again.
When you’re ready, after you’ve given yourself time to heal, be open to the idea of another relationship – or, if you’ve chosen, to rebuilding the relationship with your boyfriend. The things you’ve learned from this experience can make you stronger and wiser, but they don’t have to make you completely skeptical about love. Not every guy will cheat on you. And just because you’ve had this bad experience doesn’t mean you’re doomed to bad relationships.


It might not feel like it now, but you’re going to get through this. And you will be stronger on the other side. You deserve to have a healthy relationship – where you’re valued and treated with respect.



If you’re boyfriend cheated on you and you need someone to talk to, our staff is here for you. And don’t forget, we can sure help you out with Gonorrhea and Chlamydia testing and treatment if needed. Just give us a call.

February 10, 2026
An unexpected pregnancy can already feel like a lot to carry. However, when your partner is strongly pushing you toward abortion, and you’re not sure what you want, it can feel even heavier. You may feel torn between your own emotions and his expectations, trying to keep the peace while feeling anxious or confused. If you’re in this situation, take a deep breath. At Collage, we understand how emotionally complicated this can be. You deserve a safe place to talk through what you’re feeling and be treated with respect. You don’t have to rush into a decision. Schedule a free appointment to learn how we can help you navigate this situation. It’s Your Decision Sometimes a partner’s reaction is rooted in panic. He may be thinking about finances, school, your relationship, or how unprepared he feels. In his mind, abortion may seem like the fastest solution. When someone repeatedly insists on one outcome, refuses to listen, or makes you feel guilty for even considering other options, it can start to feel like your voice doesn’t matter. And in a moment this vulnerable, your voice matters more than ever.  Giving Yourself Space If conversations feel tense or emotionally draining, it’s okay to take a step back. You have the right to say something like, “I need time to think. I’m not ready to decide right now.” Creating a little space can help you reconnect with your own thoughts instead of constantly reacting to his. Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause, breathe, and remind yourself that you don’t have to figure everything out in one day. You Deserve Respect It’s also important to pay attention to warning signs. If your partner threatens to leave, withdraw support, manipulate you emotionally, or isolate you from others unless you choose abortion, that is not love. That is control. You deserve a relationship where your safety and well-being are protected, not threatened. If you ever feel unsafe, reach out for immediate support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) offers 24/7 confidential resources to help you get the assistance you need. You Deserve a Safe Place to Talk It Through At Collage, we’re here to support you. You don’t have to walk into our center with a decision already made. You can come in simply because you need someone to listen, help you process, and remind you that you are not alone. This is your pregnancy and future. If your partner is pressuring you and you’re feeling unsure, please know that help is available. We offer a calm, caring environment where you can talk openly, ask questions, and explore your options without feeling judged or persuaded to make a specific decision. You are not alone in this. Schedule an appointment with Collage today. We’re here to walk with you, one step at a time. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .
January 23, 2026
Facing an unplanned pregnancy can bring up difficult questions, especially when it comes to your relationship. You may be wondering whether you are required to tell your partner you’re considering an abortion, or whether it’s okay to keep that information private. Fear of conflict, concern about pressure, or a desire to protect your emotional well-being can all play a role. These feelings are common, and it’s okay to take time to think through what feels safest and healthiest for you. Collage offers a confidential and non-judgmental space where you can discuss these concerns without pressure. Before making any decisions, we provide cost-free pregnancy services , including ultrasounds, to help you understand important details about your pregnancy. Our goal is to give you accurate medical information and the space you need to move forward with clarity. You’re welcome to schedule a private, confidential appointment to learn more when you feel ready. Understanding Your Autonomy In many states, adults are not legally required to tell a partner if they’re considering or planning an abortion. Medical decisions about your body are generally protected by privacy laws, meaning the decision is legally yours. Some exceptions exist, such as parental involvement laws for minors, but partner notification is typically not required for adults. Even when the law is clear, the emotional side of this decision can feel complicated. You may feel torn between maintaining privacy and wanting honesty in your relationship. There is no single “right” approach, only what best supports your well-being and circumstances. When Safety Is a Concern In some relationships, sharing your thoughts with a partner may lead to understanding or emotional support. In others, it may not feel safe. If you’re worried about pressure, manipulation, anger, or physical harm, prioritizing your safety is essential. You’re never obligated to share information that could put you at risk. If you feel unsafe or unsure, confidential help is available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-SAFE). Support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Why Medical Information Matters Whether or not you involve your partner, having accurate medical information is an important step. An ultrasound can help confirm gestational age, pregnancy location, and whether the pregnancy is viable. These details matter for your health and can help you feel more grounded as you consider your next steps. You Are Not Alone At Collage, we offer a confidential, respectful environment where your voice and concerns are taken seriously. Our team provides pregnancy confirmation, emotional support, and space to think through your situation without pressure or judgment. You deserve time, clarity, and peace of mind as you decide what is right for your life. Connect with Collage to discuss your questions in a supportive and confidential setting. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.
December 17, 2025
Holiday gatherings often bring familiar traditions, questions, and expectations. But when you’re carrying the news of an unexpected pregnancy that you haven’t shared, the season may feel different this year. You might be participating in celebrations while quietly navigating thoughts and emotions that others cannot see. If you want clarity about your pregnancy or a private space to consider your next steps, Collage offers free services, including pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and confidential consultations, to support your needs. Schedule your appointment today. Prepare Yourself, Not the Perfect Conversation You may not be ready to share your news, and that’s okay. What can help is preparing yourself: deciding on the topics you’re comfortable discussing, the questions you want to avoid, and the boundaries you want to set. This proactivity allows you to answer without feeling like you need to tell all and not overshare. Create Space Throughout the Gathering Instead of thinking about the whole event at once, break it into smaller, manageable moments. Emotional regulation becomes easier when you give yourself space to reset. Try:  Stepping outside for a few breaths of fresh air Finding a quiet room for a brief pause Taking a short walk after a meal Giving yourself permission to excuse yourself from overwhelming conversations These small steps can help protect your peace. Remember that if at any point during the gathering you’re ready to go home, go ahead. Take care of yourself by calling it a day when necessary. Meet Your Basic Needs Early pregnancy symptoms such as nausea and fatigue can be uncomfortable during gatherings. Come prepared to meet your own needs by bringing pregnancy nausea candy, snacks to settle your stomach, and a water bottle. Store these items in your purse, knowing they’re ready when you need them. You Don’t Have to Navigate This Season Alone If you want clarity before facing holiday conversations, Collage can help you understand your pregnancy and answer questions in a calm, confidential setting, which can make these boundaries easier to hold. Contact us whenever you’re ready to schedule a free appointment. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .
Show More