I Think My Girlfriend’s Pregnant

Dear Collage, I think my girlfriend is pregnant. I’m kind of freaking out. I mean, I’m not sure I’m ready for all that. She’s talking like maybe we have to get married. I’m like — Woah. Hold up! This is a lot. I wasn’t thinking about having a baby right now. What should I do?

Finding out about an unexpected pregnancy can be pretty scary and overwhelming. You’re right – it is a lot. It’s a lot of information to process — and a lot of emotions to sort through. “Woah. Hold up,” is exactly right — it’s good to pause, take a breath, and process through some thoughts and feelings before making any decisions.

First, are you sure she’s pregnant? The first thing to do is to confirm the pregnancy. While a pregnancy test is pretty accurate, it’s only an indication of pregnancy. She can go to her medical provider or she can come to our office to confirm that she’s really pregnant. We’ll have her take a lab-quality pregnancy test and if that comes back positive, we can also discuss if an ultrasound is appropriate. The ultrasound is the way we confirm there’s actually a pregnancy. If you want to, and if she wants you there, you can join her for that appointment.

If the test is negative and your girlfriend’s not pregnant, that’s a good time to talk with a healthcare provider about preventing pregnancies. Any time you’re sexually active in a heterosexual relationship, a pregnancy could occur. Our staff or a medical provider can talk with you about ways to reduce or eliminate that risk.

If the test is positive and your girlfriend’s pregnant, then you have some choices to make.

The main options are —

Have the baby and raise him or her
Place the baby into temporary foster care until you get things in order so you can raise the baby
Place the baby for adoption
Have an abortion

Here’s a link that goes into more detail about some of these options.

Ultimately, the decision about whether to continue with the pregnancy and have the baby is your girlfriend’s choice. That’s just the way the law is. But you can calmly talk with her and share your opinion. If you aren’t on the same page, you may want to talk through this with a third person who can be a mediator — maybe a counselor or a pastor or a trusted adult friend. Our staff is also willing to sit down with both of you as you discuss your options.

If you decide to have the baby, then you can decide together how you want to co-parent. Will your parents help? Do you have a support system? Are you really ready to get married? How will you financially contribute? Make a written list of all the things you need to consider or decide.

The good thing about a pregnancy is that it lasts 9 months, so you have some time to figure out the logistics before the baby is born. Take your time, seek wise advice from adults you trust, and try to calmly make decisions together. Don’t rush into any secondary permanent decisions that might compound your stress. Breathe. Take a minute and get through all those initial overwhelming feelings before you make any big decisions.

It’s a lot, but you don’t have to figure it all out right away. And you don’t have to figure it all out by yourselves. Ask for help and take things one step at a time. If you don’t know who else to ask for help, our staff is ready to walk with you through this step-by-step. You can call today to talk to someone on the phone or to schedule an appointment. You don’t have to handle this alone.

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What to Do When Friends and Family Are Pressuring You into an Abortion Decision

April 2, 2025

What do you do when those closest to you start pushing you toward a decision that doesn’t feel right? Pressure from family or friends to choose abortion can leave you feeling stuck, unheard, and unsure of what to do next. How can you hold firm in your decision while dealing with well-meaning but overwhelming advice? Here’s what you can do to navigate this difficult situation with strength and resilience. Mental Health and Pressure Your decision should be your own—one that isn’t influenced by guilt or outside expectations. Studies show that women who feel pressured into abortion are more likely to experience guilt, anxiety, depression, and other negative mental health outcomes. Protecting your mental and emotional health starts with making a choice that aligns with what you truly want. Ways to Handle the Pressure Since you understand why this decision needs to be yours, here are some practical steps to help you handle outside pressure. Give Yourself Time You don’t have to decide right away. Take a moment, think through your feelings, and give yourself the gift to reflect without feeling rushed. You're less likely to regret a decision made on your terms. Learn About All Your Options Abortion isn’t your only choice. Parenting and adoption are also possibilities, each with its own forms of support and resources. Learning more about these options can help you make an informed decision you feel at peace with. Set Boundaries It can be tough to stand your ground when others have strong opinions about your decision. Clearly expressing your thoughts by setting boundaries can help you avoid unwanted pressure. Letting others know you need time and space to think can help shift the conversation away from their influence and back to what’s best for you. Advice from a Third Party Getting a different perspective on your situation can be helpful when seeking advice from someone outside your inner circle. This could be a professional counselor, an online support group, or a caring team member at Collage . You deserve people in your life who want to understand you without judgment. You Are Not Alone Even if those around you don’t fully understand, there are people who do. A supportive environment can make all the difference as you navigate this decision. Collage is here to walk with you during this time. We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, pregnancy options information, and more at no cost so you can get informed and have the support you need to move forward with certainty. Schedule a confidential appointment today.

The Role of Support Systems When Considering Abortion

March 7, 2025

Discovering you’re pregnant when you weren’t expecting can feel like the ground has shifted beneath you. A flood of questions may rush in. What do I do? Who can I talk to? How will this change my life? In moments like these, having a strong support system can make all the difference. The people around you—family, friends, a partner, or trusted mentors—can provide clarity, encouragement, and resources to help you navigate your options. Why Support Systems Matter It’s easy to feel isolated during an unexpected pregnancy with high stress and emotions. However, decisions made in isolation can be overwhelming and may lead to regret. Having a support system allows you to process your emotions, ask questions, and consider your next steps with a clear mind. Those who care about you can offer reassurance and help you explore the emotional, physical, and practical aspects of your decision. Avoiding Pressure and Outside Influence Unfortunately, some women experience pressure from their partner, family members, or even friends to make a decision they aren’t comfortable with. A healthy support system respects your right to make an informed choice without coercion. If you’re feeling pressured, it’s essential to reach out to someone who will listen, not dictate. Support should come from those who uplift and empower you, not those who push you into a choice based on their preferences. Seeking Reliable Information It’s crucial to have access to accurate medical information about abortion, its risks, and its alternatives. A strong support system can help you connect with organizations (such as Collage ) that offer factual, judgment-free care. You can also seek help from professional counselors or a mentor, but ultimately, surrounding yourself with people who prioritize your well-being can bring insight and peace of mind to your decision-making process. We’re Here For You At Collage, we understand how important support is when considering your options. We offer free and confidential pregnancy services, including lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, abortion information, and more so you can make an informed choice. Even if you don’t feel you have a support system in your life, you have one with us. Reach out today to learn more about how we’re here for you.

Why Does an Ultrasound Matter if I’m Considering Abortion?

February 13, 2025

If you’re thinking about abortion, an ultrasound is a crucial step to gather essential information about your pregnancy. It provides key details that can help determine which options are available to you and ensures your health and safety as you make this important decision. At Collage , we offer free limited OB ultrasounds to give you the clarity and support you need, as well as more information on your pregnancy options. Ultrasounds During Pregnancy An ultrasound is a diagnostic tool that uses sound waves to create detailed images of your body. These images provide vital insights into your pregnancy, helping you make an informed decision. Here are three critical pieces of information an ultrasound can reveal: 1. The Location of Your Pregnancy An ultrasound can confirm if your pregnancy is located in the uterus. Sometimes, a pregnancy can implant outside the uterus, typically in a fallopian tube, resulting in an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is a serious condition that cannot result in a live birth and requires immediate medical attention to avoid a life-threatening situation. Even if you’re considering abortion, identifying an ectopic pregnancy through ultrasound is essential to protect your health. 2. How Far Along You Are (Gestational Age) Understanding how far along you are is critical for determining which abortion options you can access. For example, the abortion pill is FDA-approved only for pregnancies up to ten weeks gestation. If your pregnancy is further along, a surgical abortion would be the alternative option available, depending on the circumstances. Period-tracking apps can estimate gestational age, but they lack the accuracy of an ultrasound, which can precisely date your pregnancy. 3. Whether Your Pregnancy Is Progressing Not all pregnancies continue as expected—approximately 26% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. An ultrasound can detect if a miscarriage has occurred so you can follow up with the appropriate care plan. Protect Your Health As you can see, an ultrasound is an essential step in protecting your health and understanding your options. You deserve to make an informed and confident decision and the free limited OB ultrasounds Collage provides will help you to do just that. Contact us today to schedule your appointment. Our care and support are designed to help you through this crucial time. Let us be a source of strength for you.