How Do I Tell My Parents I’m Pregnant?
December 17, 2013
You’ve taken the test, a few times, and each time it says the same thing. You’re pregnant.
You weren’t planning to be pregnant, you don’t want to be pregnant, but you are. And as you process all of the emotion, fear, anger, shock and guilt, the question pops into our mind, “How do I tell my parents I’m pregnant?” This question can be as overwhelming and scary as being pregnant itself.
We want you to know that you are not alone. For many teens and college students this seems like an impossible situation, but it’s something that many others have had to face and they’ve lived to tell about it. The biggest fear you probably have is how your parents will react. Will they be angry or disappointed? Will they yell, cry or just sit there silently?
While every set of parents and every daughter’s relationship with them is different, there are a few things you can do to help the conversation go as well as possible.
Prepare
- Taking some time to prepare for what will most likely be one of the hardest conversations you will ever have is a good idea. Here are few things you should think through before you talk with your parents about your pregnancy.
- Prepare how you want to open the conversation. Don’t scare them or put them on edge by saying “I have some bad news.” Instead be clear and direct. Begin with “I have something difficult I need to share with you, I’m pregnant”.
- Prepare how you will explain the pregnancy. Did they know you have a boyfriend? Did they know you were sexually active or did they forbid you from dating?
- Share how you are feeling. While it might be tempting to pause and let them react, it’s important to let them know how you’re feeling. Tell them how difficult this has been and that you need their support.
- Anticipate their reaction. Again, there is no way to tell exactly how they will react to you telling them your pregnant, but you can plan based on how they have reacted to other news in the past. Is one parent more emotional or more logical? Have they reacted with anger and violence in the past? If so, don’t tell them the news alone, but make sure there is another trusted adult present.
- Prepare to answer their questions. They may ask who the father is, if you used protection, when you got pregnant and how long you’ve been sexually active. Determine what questions you’re ready to answer and which ones you aren’t.
Practice
- You’ve probably already told a friend or someone else that you are pregnant, so ask them if you can practice on them before telling your parents you’re pregnant.
Support
- Having to face your parents alone may seem like more than you can handle. Enlisting some moral support may be a good option. Here are some things to consider:
- If they have never met the father, this might not be the best time to introduce them. However, if they have it can also be a great way to show them maturity.
- Perhaps having a brother or sister there would help you feel more comfortable.
- Sometimes having a friend or another trusted adult from outside the family can be beneficial.
- You know your family dynamics and will ultimately have to decide if having someone else there will help or hurt the conversation.
Timing
- Picking the right time is almost as important as what you say.
- Pick a time when there is plenty of time for a conversation. Don’t tell them as they head out the door, or when they have to pick your brother up from soccer in 30 minutes. Find a time when their stress level is low, maybe after dinner when there are no plans for the evening.
- Pick a time that works for you, when you aren’t worried about an upcoming exam, so that your attention can be on preparation and the conversation.
- There isn’t an ideal time, so don’t keep putting it off. Pick the best available time for everyone.
Listen
- This may be the hardest part, but after you’ve shared the news you need to give them time to process what you’ve just told them and listen.
- It’s hard to know what their reaction will be, but often they say the first thing that pops into their mind. Sometimes, that can be hurtful. Remember, they are just as shocked as you were when you took the test. Give them time and don’t take their initial reaction personally.
- They may have advice for you to go along with the questions. Listen. We know you’ve already had time to think about the pregnancy, but they may have something to share you haven’t thought about yet.
- As you listen and the conversation moves along, let them know what you need. Love, support, time to process. This is going to the subject of many more conversations in the future, so establishing how they can help you is important.
Be Patient
- This is the first conversation of what will probably be many and you don’t have to come to any resolution at this time. Here are some things for you to keep in mind:
- They need time too. You just dropped some life-changing news on them and they will need some time to process it just like you did.
- They will probably experience many of the same emotions you did when you found out.
- Their initial reaction will probably soften with time. Once the shock wears off, they will probably have more questions and may be able to offer better advice once they are thinking clearly.
As you talk, words like abortion and adoption may come up. You have time before you have to make any decisions regarding your pregnancy. Your parents may and probably will have advice for you, but ultimately you have to make the decision that you will live with for the rest of your life. We think you should have all the information available so you can make an informed decision.
When it comes down to it, most parents love their children and want to be there for them. As you are planning, you are probably preparing for the worst-case scenario. You may be surprised how well they take the news. And telling them will most likely lift a huge weight off your shoulders.
If you are pregnant and preparing to tell your parents and need someone else to talk to, we’d love to be there to help you. Please contact our office to talk with one of our amazing staff members.
Learning you’re unexpectedly pregnant can bring up complicated emotions, uncertainty, fear, or even exhaustion if you’ve faced this situation before. You may know that you don’t want another abortion, but still wonder what options exist for your future. At Collage, we provide free and confidential support so you can explore your choices in a compassionate environment. Whether you want to understand what parenting or adoption could look like or simply need someone to listen, you’re not alone. Schedule a free appointment today to learn how we can help. Exploring Parenting Parenting can feel like an enormous responsibility, especially if your finances, relationships, or housing situation are uncertain. Many women ask themselves: “Can I really do this on my own?” “Where will I find the help I need?” “What kind of future can I provide for my child?” These are real and valid questions. At Collage, we’ll help you identify the resources and support available in your community. From offering a warm, supportive presence as you explore this option to providing referrals for resources like housing or childcare support, we’ll ensure you’re not facing these challenges alone. Parenting can be both demanding and deeply rewarding. With encouragement, community connections, and the right information, you can feel more confident in providing a stable, nurturing environment for your child. Understanding Adoption If parenting doesn’t feel like the right fit for your current situation, adoption offers another path forward, one rooted in hope and love. You remain in control of the process, deciding how involved you wish to be in your child’s life. You can select from multiple adoption plans depending on your comfort level: Open adoption: Allows for ongoing communication and contact between you, your child, and the adoptive family. Semi-open adoption: Offers limited contact through a third party, maintaining privacy while keeping some connection. Closed adoption: Protects complete confidentiality with no exchange of identifying information. Financial support is available throughout the adoption process. You’ll never pay for legal or medical services related to adoption. Best of all, adoption agencies can help ensure your needs are met and your wishes are respected every step of the way. Adoption is not an easy decision, but for some women, it brings a sense of peace and purpose, knowing their child is loved and cared for in a stable environment. We can discuss this option with you and offer referrals to reputable agencies so you feel informed. Taking the Next Step Your situation is unique, and so is your decision. Whether you’re considering parenting or adoption or simply need time to process your feelings, Collage is here to provide information and encouragement. We’re available to answer questions, explain your options, and connect you with trusted community resources, all at no cost and in a confidential setting. Schedule your free appointment today to start finding clarity and peace of mind. FAQ: Is it normal to feel uncertain about my decision? Yes. Many women experience mixed emotions when facing an unexpected pregnancy. It’s okay to take time and talk through your options before deciding. What if I don’t think I can afford to parent? We can connect you with programs and community partners that provide material and emotional support, so you will feel more equipped to parent if you choose to. How does adoption work? You remain in control. You’ll choose the family and the level of contact and receive guidance from trusted professionals who handle the legal and practical aspects of the process. Are services at Collage really free? Yes. All services are completely free and confidential. Your privacy and comfort are our priority. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.
Finding out your partner is unexpectedly pregnant can change everything in an instant. You may feel shocked, worried, or unsure about your role. Those feelings are normal. What matters most is how you respond in this moment and what steps you take next. At Collage, we provide no-cost and confidential services for women and men walking through unexpected pregnancies. Schedule an appointment to learn how we can support you—you don’t have to carry the weight of this situation alone. Understanding Your Own Feelings Before you can support your partner, it’s important to process what you’re experiencing. Talking with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor can help you sort through your emotions and understand what this news means. Showing your partner that you are engaging with your own feelings demonstrates that you are taking the pregnancy seriously. Walking With Her Your partner may be feeling the same uncertainty and fear that you are. One of the most powerful things you can do is simply be present. Attend appointments with her, listen when she shares her concerns, and offer support, like running errands or helping with everyday tasks. These small actions communicate that she is not facing this alone. Learning Together Getting informed is one of the best steps you can take together. At Collage, we provide option information so you and your partner can learn more about parenting, adoption, and abortion. Our staff will answer questions and help you understand what each option may look like. Having reliable, unbiased information allows you to approach this decision more confidently. Taking the Next Step This is not something you have to figure out overnight. Unexpected pregnancies can feel overwhelming, but there are resources, support, and people who care about both of you. Collage is here to listen, guide, and provide clarity when you need it most. Request your no-cost and confidential appointment today. Moving forward together can make all the difference. FAQ: What role should I play if my partner is pregnant? Listening, staying present, and supporting her as she makes decisions is crucial. You don’t have to have every answer, but being by her side matters. Can I attend appointments with her? Yes, and many women appreciate having their partner there. It shows support and can help both of you learn about options together. What if my partner chooses parenting and I don’t feel ready to be a dad? It’s normal to feel unprepared. Talking through your concerns with someone you trust and learning about options can help you move forward with more clarity. Does Collage provide abortions? Collage does not provide or refer for abortions. However, we do provide no-cost pre-abortion screenings, confidential services, accurate information, and compassionate support so you and your partner can make informed decisions.
When considering abortion, it’s natural to wonder how the decision could affect your mental health. While every woman’s experience is different, being aware of possible emotional impacts and taking time to reflect on your circumstances can help you make an informed choice. At Collage, we provide free, confidential support so you don’t have to navigate these questions alone. Our staff is here to listen, answer your questions, and connect you with the resources you need as you process your options. Contact us to schedule your appointment today. What Research Suggests Research has shown that abortion can lead to a range of emotional responses. The American Psychological Association notes that some women experience grief, sadness, or even clinically significant issues like depression and anxiety afterward. Certain factors may make these outcomes more likely, such as: A history of mental health challenges Pressure from others to make a decision Lack of support or secrecy about the pregnancy Strong personal, cultural, or spiritual beliefs Wanting to continue the pregnancy but feeling unable to Recognizing how these factors may apply to your situation can help you prepare and seek support. You Have Other Options You are the one who will live with this decision, so it’s important not to rush. Confirming your pregnancy with a lab- quality test and ultrasound can provide clarity and help you understand your options, which include parenting and adoption. Speaking with a counselor or a healthcare professional can also give you space to process your feelings without judgment. We’re Here for You At Collage, we offer free pregnancy testing, limited ultrasounds, and confidential consultations so you can explore your options with accurate information and compassionate support. Schedule your free appointment today. You deserve the time, space, and care to make a confident decision with your mental health top of mind. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do provide pre-abortion screenings.
