How Do I Tell My Parents I’m Pregnant?
December 17, 2013
You’ve taken the test, a few times, and each time it says the same thing. You’re pregnant.
You weren’t planning to be pregnant, you don’t want to be pregnant, but you are. And as you process all of the emotion, fear, anger, shock and guilt, the question pops into our mind, “How do I tell my parents I’m pregnant?” This question can be as overwhelming and scary as being pregnant itself.
We want you to know that you are not alone. For many teens and college students this seems like an impossible situation, but it’s something that many others have had to face and they’ve lived to tell about it. The biggest fear you probably have is how your parents will react. Will they be angry or disappointed? Will they yell, cry or just sit there silently?
While every set of parents and every daughter’s relationship with them is different, there are a few things you can do to help the conversation go as well as possible.
Prepare
- Taking some time to prepare for what will most likely be one of the hardest conversations you will ever have is a good idea. Here are few things you should think through before you talk with your parents about your pregnancy.
- Prepare how you want to open the conversation. Don’t scare them or put them on edge by saying “I have some bad news.” Instead be clear and direct. Begin with “I have something difficult I need to share with you, I’m pregnant”.
- Prepare how you will explain the pregnancy. Did they know you have a boyfriend? Did they know you were sexually active or did they forbid you from dating?
- Share how you are feeling. While it might be tempting to pause and let them react, it’s important to let them know how you’re feeling. Tell them how difficult this has been and that you need their support.
- Anticipate their reaction. Again, there is no way to tell exactly how they will react to you telling them your pregnant, but you can plan based on how they have reacted to other news in the past. Is one parent more emotional or more logical? Have they reacted with anger and violence in the past? If so, don’t tell them the news alone, but make sure there is another trusted adult present.
- Prepare to answer their questions. They may ask who the father is, if you used protection, when you got pregnant and how long you’ve been sexually active. Determine what questions you’re ready to answer and which ones you aren’t.
Practice
- You’ve probably already told a friend or someone else that you are pregnant, so ask them if you can practice on them before telling your parents you’re pregnant.
Support
- Having to face your parents alone may seem like more than you can handle. Enlisting some moral support may be a good option. Here are some things to consider:
- If they have never met the father, this might not be the best time to introduce them. However, if they have it can also be a great way to show them maturity.
- Perhaps having a brother or sister there would help you feel more comfortable.
- Sometimes having a friend or another trusted adult from outside the family can be beneficial.
- You know your family dynamics and will ultimately have to decide if having someone else there will help or hurt the conversation.
Timing
- Picking the right time is almost as important as what you say.
- Pick a time when there is plenty of time for a conversation. Don’t tell them as they head out the door, or when they have to pick your brother up from soccer in 30 minutes. Find a time when their stress level is low, maybe after dinner when there are no plans for the evening.
- Pick a time that works for you, when you aren’t worried about an upcoming exam, so that your attention can be on preparation and the conversation.
- There isn’t an ideal time, so don’t keep putting it off. Pick the best available time for everyone.
Listen
- This may be the hardest part, but after you’ve shared the news you need to give them time to process what you’ve just told them and listen.
- It’s hard to know what their reaction will be, but often they say the first thing that pops into their mind. Sometimes, that can be hurtful. Remember, they are just as shocked as you were when you took the test. Give them time and don’t take their initial reaction personally.
- They may have advice for you to go along with the questions. Listen. We know you’ve already had time to think about the pregnancy, but they may have something to share you haven’t thought about yet.
- As you listen and the conversation moves along, let them know what you need. Love, support, time to process. This is going to the subject of many more conversations in the future, so establishing how they can help you is important.
Be Patient
- This is the first conversation of what will probably be many and you don’t have to come to any resolution at this time. Here are some things for you to keep in mind:
- They need time too. You just dropped some life-changing news on them and they will need some time to process it just like you did.
- They will probably experience many of the same emotions you did when you found out.
- Their initial reaction will probably soften with time. Once the shock wears off, they will probably have more questions and may be able to offer better advice once they are thinking clearly.
As you talk, words like abortion and adoption may come up. You have time before you have to make any decisions regarding your pregnancy. Your parents may and probably will have advice for you, but ultimately you have to make the decision that you will live with for the rest of your life. We think you should have all the information available so you can make an informed decision.
When it comes down to it, most parents love their children and want to be there for them. As you are planning, you are probably preparing for the worst-case scenario. You may be surprised how well they take the news. And telling them will most likely lift a huge weight off your shoulders.
If you are pregnant and preparing to tell your parents and need someone else to talk to, we’d love to be there to help you. Please contact our office to talk with one of our amazing staff members.
If you’ve recently learned you are pregnant unexpectedly, we understand how overwhelming this might feel right now. If you're considering abortion as an option, taking time to understand how the process works is important so you can make an informed decision. Collage is here to help provide you with confidential support and abortion information at no cost. We offer a safe space, free of judgment, where you can think calmly about your options, receive lab-quality pregnancy testing, and get a complimentary ultrasound so you can get the facts around your pregnancy and learn what options are available to you. Schedule your free appointment today. Medical Abortion Medical abortion, also known as the abortion pill, ends a pregnancy by using two drugs taken at different times. The first pill, mifepristone, works by blocking progesterone and causes the embryo’s death. The second drug, called misoprostol, is usually taken a day or two after and causes the uterus to contract, expelling the pregnancy tissue through cramping and bleeding. Common side effects can include bleeding and cramping, bleeding with blood clots, and a low-grade fever. Medical abortion is only approved through ten weeks of gestation by the FDA . Follow-up care is typically recommended after a medical abortion to make sure the process is complete. Surgical Abortion Surgical abortion terminates a pregnancy in a clinic or medical setting and involves removing pregnancy tissue from the uterus through a suction device or a tool called a curette. This can also be called dilation and evacuation or dilation and curettage . Common side effects of surgical abortions are bleeding and cramps. You may also have a late or early period as your uterus has to build a new lining after the procedure. What Are The Risks Of Abortion? Medical and surgical abortion both have possible risks that you should be aware of. Some women may also experience emotional responses afterward. Complications that can arise from abortion are: Infection. Scar tissue on the uterine wall, known as Asherman's syndrome . Heavy bleeding that may not stop. Diarrhea and digestive pain. An incomplete abortion. Confirm Your Pregnancy With An Ultrasound Before making a pregnancy decision, it is important to verify your pregnancy with an ultrasound. An ultrasound provides important medical details such as how far along you are, the location of the pregnancy, and whether a heartbeat is detected. These details are important since the abortion pill is not FDA-approved for over ten weeks, and it also rules out ectopic pregnancy, which requires urgent medical attention. As many as 26% of all pregnancies end in a miscarriage, and you can still get a positive pregnancy test result for days or weeks after a miscarriage because it takes time for hCG to leave the body. An ultrasound will confirm whether or not you have miscarried. We provide no-cost pregnancy services at our center, including limited OB ultrasounds, so you can get informed about your pregnancy and options. Get Pregnancy Support at College If you're considering your next step after learning you are unexpectedly pregnant, we are here to give you a safe place to ask questions and learn more about your options. Collage provides confidential appointments and no-cost pregnancy services, including medical-grade pregnancy testing, ultrasounds, and STD testing . You don’t have to figure this out alone. We are here to listen. Schedule your free confidential appointment to learn more about your options. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.
Facing an unexpected pregnancy brings up a lot of questions, and it makes complete sense that you want to understand every option before deciding anything. If you're considering the abortion pill, knowing what it actually involves, including its side effects, is an important part of making a decision based on the facts. You don't have to sort through this alone. Schedule a no-cost appointment with Collage today to get your questions answered. How the Abortion Pill Works The abortion pill uses two drugs taken in sequence. The first, mifepristone, blocks progesterone, a hormone that supports the growth and development of the pregnancy. Without it, the pregnancy detaches from the uterine lining. The second drug, misoprostol, is typically taken at home and causes the uterus to contract and expel the pregnancy tissue. Heavy bleeding and cramping will be part of this process, and some women have described the pain as more severe than they anticipated. Side Effects to Know Beyond bleeding and cramping, the abortion pill can also cause these side effects : Upset stomach Vomiting Diarrhea Headache Fever Chills These side effects vary from woman to woman, which is one reason having a healthcare provider involved matters. Without medical oversight, it can be difficult to know what's within the range of normal and what requires immediate attention. Your personal health history also plays a role in how your body responds. Speaking with a medical professional before proceeding is an important step in protecting your well-being. Why an Ultrasound Matters First Before considering any pregnancy option, an ultrasound provides information that a pregnancy test simply cannot. It can confirm whether the pregnancy is progressing, rule out an ectopic pregnancy , and tell you how far along you are. The FDA approves the abortion pill only through 10 weeks gestation, making that last detail a critical piece of information for your safety. We're Here for You Whatever you're feeling right now, there’s no pressure here. At Collage, we genuinely care about you and want to make sure you have everything you need to make a sound decision. We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing and limited obstetrical ultrasounds, and our team is ready to talk through all your options, parenting, adoption, and abortion, in a warm, supportive environment. Schedule your no-cost appointment today. We're so glad you reached out. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services. All abortion information in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.
Facing an unexpected pregnancy can bring a lot of emotions, and often, a sense of urgency to make a decision quickly. You may have seen options online to order abortion pills by mail and wondered if it’s a simple solution. Before making a decision, it’s important to understand how this option could affect your health and what steps you can take to make a fully informed decision. 1. Your Health Should Always Come First Mail-order abortion often skips important medical safeguards. In many cases, there is no in-person evaluation before receiving the drugs. That means key health factors, such as your medical history and potential risks, will not be fully considered. There can also be uncertainty about the source of the drugs, including how they were handled, stored, or dosed. In fact, the FDA does not recommend this option because the drugs’ quality, safety, and effectiveness cannot be guaranteed. Taking time to understand your health first is a smart and proactive way to protect yourself. 2. You Need Clear Answers About Your Pregnancy A pregnancy test alone doesn’t give you the full picture. Before considering abortion, it’s important to confirm details about your pregnancy through an ultrasound. An ultrasound can tell you: How far along are you? Whether the pregnancy is developing (or if you’ve miscarried ) Where the pregnancy is located These details matter more than you might think. Abortion pills are FDA-approved only through 10 weeks of gestation, and without accurate dating, it’s possible to miscalculate how far along you are. An ultrasound can also detect an ectopic pregnancy , which occurs outside the uterus and requires immediate medical attention. Abortion pills will not treat this condition. What’s more, if you’ve experienced a miscarriage, you may require medical follow-up to prevent complications. Getting these details first helps ensure your safety. We offer limited OB ultrasounds following positive lab-quality pregnancy testing with us. 3. It’s Important to Understand the Process and Risks Mail-order abortion may sound straightforward, but it’s important to know what it may actually involve. The process includes significant cramping and bleeding as the body expels the pregnancy, with some women describing the pain as being unexpectedly severe . Other side effects can include: Nausea or vomiting Fever or chills Diarrhea Headaches There are also potential risks , such as heavy bleeding, infection, or an incomplete abortion that may require additional medical care. Without in-person support, it can be difficult to know what’s expected and when something may need medical attention. You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone When everything feels overwhelming, it can help to take a moment to evaluate your next steps and get the information you need. At Collage, we provide no-cost, confidential services so you can ask questions, gather accurate information, and explore your options at your own pace in a one-on-one setting. Schedule your appointment today. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services. All abortion information sourced in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.
