How Do I Help When My Friend is Pregnant?

June 2, 2014

She called you up last night and you’re still shocked from the news. Your friend is pregnant, and it wasn’t planned. You’re not sure what to say. You spend so much time together. The last thing in the world you can imagine is her having a baby. You want to be there for her, but you’re just not sure what to do.


Many women find themselves in this scenario and sometimes they don’t say anything because they’re afraid of saying the wrong thing. Right now your friend needs your support and encouragement and there are some practical ways you can show you care and love her no matter what. Some of these ideas may even help you work through your own emotions when your friend is pregnant.


Be Encouraging

Maybe your friend has decided to carry her baby to term, but she doesn’t know if she wants to be a mom yet. Maybe she is considering abortion as an option. Understand that she has a number of decisions to make and is more than likely completely overwhelmed by all of the options. If she’s considering adoption try to avoid saying things like “How could you even consider adoption?” or “I could never give up my baby.” You need to realize that the process for deciding to place a baby for adoption is difficult. Stay positive and give her encouragement. Let her know she has a friend in you no matter what she decides.


Also if she does decide to parent, don’t share horror stories from family members or friends. The last thing she needs to hear about is your sister-in-law’s 40 hours of labor, or your experience babysitting terrible toddlers. Will it be hard for her? Yes, but she does not need that negativity in her life right now.


Don’t Bring Up What If’s…

Trust us, she has already been thinking about them. What if she miscarries? What if she gets so sick she can’t stand it? What if she has a terrible labor and delivery? Keep these thoughts to yourself. If she wants to talk them through, listen first, then give feedback but remember to be encouraging and supportive. Be sure to steer the conversation away from things that aren’t likely to happen and that will only add to her stress.


Respect Her Decision

Maybe you think she should consider abortion. Maybe you don’t support her decision to go through with her parenting plan. You need to check your own feelings at the door until you have a chance to work through them. This can be hard to navigate if you don’t understand her reasons for carrying her baby to term. Try to understand her point of view and don’t try to persuade. She needs you as a friend right now. You may be experiencing your own feelings of anger, fear, and resentment. Maybe you’re afraid you’ll be loosing your friend. If you are aware of your feelings and work through them, this experience could potentially make your friendship stronger.


Small Gestures

Doing small things with love can go a long way in a friendship. Maybe your friend needs a ride every now and then to her doctor appointments. Maybe she needs help picking out baby things, or she needs someone to just watch a movie with to get her mind off of everything going on. It doesn’t have to be much. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. If she’s pregnant in the summer, a Sonic cherry limeade could be just what she needs. Someone to cry with and get excited with her may help her out. If the father of the baby or her family isn’t supportive, she will need you more than ever. So think of a few small things you can to so show support over then next few months. She will be grateful for your kindness.


If your friend comes to you before she knows for sure she is pregnant (maybe she has only taken a home pregnancy test) and she needs pregnancy confirmation, please tell her about Collage in both Kearney and Grand Island. You can even come with her for her appointment if that makes her more comfortable. Once we confirm the pregnancy is viable, we can often let her know how far along she is. And no matter where she is in the decision process we can help by talking through all of her options and helping her figure out what is best for her. If she does decide to carry her baby, we can give her helpful information and resource referrals in the community.

June 4, 2025
An unexpected pregnancy can leave you with more questions than answers. Especially when friends are urging you to choose abortion, you may be more confused than ever. While their advice might come from care or fear, it’s essential to remember this is your pregnancy, future, and choice. At Collage, we’re here to help you navigate this pressure and find a path that feels right for you so that you can feel informed and confident about your decision. Reach out to us today for no-cost support. Listen to Your Instincts Your friends might be an important part of your life, but your instincts matter most. If abortion doesn’t feel right, take a moment to ask: What’s holding me back? Maybe you’re picturing parenting your child or are curious about adoption. It’s also important to keep in mind that abortion is a serious procedure that your friends may not fully grasp the details of. Physical and emotional risks are involved, making it a more complex decision. Your hesitation is a sign to slow down and explore, not to rush into a choice you’re not ready for. Talk It Out If your friends keep pressing, try a gentle conversation. Let them know you understand they’re worried, you’re not sure about abortion yet. Ask what’s driving their advice. Maybe they’re scared about your finances or future. Maybe they’re simply telling you what they’d do in your situation, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Understanding their side can ease tension without giving in. If they won’t respect your space, set boundaries and let them know you need time to think. You don’t owe them an immediate answer. Find Your Support Surround yourself with people who’ll lift you up, not pull you down. Write down your thoughts or talk to someone neutral. You can find a counselor or even online spaces where you can share your heart with those who won’t push one option over another. Even a trusted family member, a mentor, or a place like Collage can offer perspective without strings. You deserve to make this decision with clear facts and a steady heart, not under pressure. Help is Available If your friends are pushing abortion but you’re not ready, Collage is here with no-cost lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited obstetric ultrasounds, and pregnancy options education to help you decide what’s next. Our trained team offers confidential support to explore parenting, adoption, or abortion without pressure. Contact us for a no-cost appointment today. You deserve to choose your own path.
May 21, 2025
An unexpected pregnancy can flip your world upside down, and the urge to keep it under wraps might hit hard. Maybe you’re thinking abortion could erase the situation quietly.
April 2, 2025
What do you do when those closest to you start pushing you toward a decision that doesn’t feel right? Pressure from family or friends to choose abortion can leave you feeling stuck, unheard, and unsure of what to do next. How can you hold firm in your decision while dealing with well-meaning but overwhelming advice? Here’s what you can do to navigate this difficult situation with strength and resilience. Mental Health and Pressure Your decision should be your own—one that isn’t influenced by guilt or outside expectations. Studies show that women who feel pressured into abortion are more likely to experience guilt, anxiety, depression, and other negative mental health outcomes. Protecting your mental and emotional health starts with making a choice that aligns with what you truly want. Ways to Handle the Pressure Since you understand why this decision needs to be yours, here are some practical steps to help you handle outside pressure. Give Yourself Time You don’t have to decide right away. Take a moment, think through your feelings, and give yourself the gift to reflect without feeling rushed. You're less likely to regret a decision made on your terms. Learn About All Your Options Abortion isn’t your only choice. Parenting and adoption are also possibilities, each with its own forms of support and resources. Learning more about these options can help you make an informed decision you feel at peace with. Set Boundaries It can be tough to stand your ground when others have strong opinions about your decision. Clearly expressing your thoughts by setting boundaries can help you avoid unwanted pressure. Letting others know you need time and space to think can help shift the conversation away from their influence and back to what’s best for you. Advice from a Third Party Getting a different perspective on your situation can be helpful when seeking advice from someone outside your inner circle. This could be a professional counselor, an online support group, or a caring team member at Collage . You deserve people in your life who want to understand you without judgment. You Are Not Alone Even if those around you don’t fully understand, there are people who do. A supportive environment can make all the difference as you navigate this decision. Collage is here to walk with you during this time. We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, pregnancy options information, and more at no cost so you can get informed and have the support you need to move forward with certainty.  Schedule a confidential appointment today.
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