Guy's Perspective: Unexpected

Unexpected. This was unexpected. She just texted you that her period is two weeks late, which means she might be pregnant. Yep, pregnant. Your mind kicks into overdrive, and questions begin flooding your head…

I never thought this would happen to me. Now what?

Discovering that your partner could be pregnant can be overwhelming. Remember, not every missed or late period means that there's a pregnancy. So it's crucial that your partner confirms if she is pregnant.

Collage can provide a free and confidential pregnancy test. If that test is positive, a limited obstetrical (OB) ultrasound can be offered here at our center by a sonographer. This ultrasound confirms the viability of the pregnancy and reveals how far along she is.

Do I have a say if she's considering an abortion?

It is her right to choose to have an abortion without the permission of the baby's father. Even though you don’t have complete control of this situation, you can still have a say in the outcome of the pregnancy. The fact is, she's dealing with a lot of the same questions that are going through your mind.

How will I support the child?
What will people think of me?
How will my parents react?

Your support during this time is crucial as she decides the outcome of the pregnancy. You have the opportunity to come alongside her and walk through some of these concerns.

How do I support her?

Initiating a conversation is a great start. Talking through your options and listening to each other's concerns is crucial. Keeping the pregnancy a secret may create unneeded tension during an already stressful situation. So, opening up to your parents or other close friends in your life can be a great way to build support.

Remember the importance of listening. Take time to hear her fears and how she’s feeling. Although taking the time to listen is essential, don't be afraid to speak up during these conversations. We've heard many women express they wanted to hear their partner say, "I don't know what will happen to us in the future, but I do know we can provide a future for our child." She may not want to pressure you to do something like saying yes to her and this pregnancy. However, if you feel that you do want to step into fatherhood, you should let her know.

Where can we go to learn more about our options?

Collage is a safe and confidential place where you and your partner can ask any questions you may have. Our trained staff can help you look at all of your options and answer questions about abortion, adoption, and parenting. Ultimately, you are the only individuals who can make the final decision. Still, we're here to provide help and answers during this time of uncertainty.

She doesn't act like she wants me involved. Should I just bail?

The fact is, everybody handles stressful situations differently. You may see her frustration or anger as a sign that she doesn't want you involved, but that feeling may be born from the worry of an unexpected pregnancy. At this point, you have a chance to step up and take responsibility for the circumstances. This child is a combination of both of you, so it's essential to figure out together what the best outcome of the pregnancy is for all three of you.

What if we disagree on the options?

It's crucial to be honest with each other as you discuss your options. Don't pressure her to do something she doesn't want to do. Remember, this pregnancy is fully impacting her future. If you encounter constant disagreements, consider seeking guidance from a parent or close friend.

We encourage you to start talking with your partner and take your time in making this decision. Remember, you don’t have to go through this journey alone. You may have a family member or friend that cares for you and wants to help. The staff at Collage is also here to walk alongside you and your partner as you learn more about your options.

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What to Do When Friends and Family Are Pressuring You into an Abortion Decision

April 2, 2025

What do you do when those closest to you start pushing you toward a decision that doesn’t feel right? Pressure from family or friends to choose abortion can leave you feeling stuck, unheard, and unsure of what to do next. How can you hold firm in your decision while dealing with well-meaning but overwhelming advice? Here’s what you can do to navigate this difficult situation with strength and resilience. Mental Health and Pressure Your decision should be your own—one that isn’t influenced by guilt or outside expectations. Studies show that women who feel pressured into abortion are more likely to experience guilt, anxiety, depression, and other negative mental health outcomes. Protecting your mental and emotional health starts with making a choice that aligns with what you truly want. Ways to Handle the Pressure Since you understand why this decision needs to be yours, here are some practical steps to help you handle outside pressure. Give Yourself Time You don’t have to decide right away. Take a moment, think through your feelings, and give yourself the gift to reflect without feeling rushed. You're less likely to regret a decision made on your terms. Learn About All Your Options Abortion isn’t your only choice. Parenting and adoption are also possibilities, each with its own forms of support and resources. Learning more about these options can help you make an informed decision you feel at peace with. Set Boundaries It can be tough to stand your ground when others have strong opinions about your decision. Clearly expressing your thoughts by setting boundaries can help you avoid unwanted pressure. Letting others know you need time and space to think can help shift the conversation away from their influence and back to what’s best for you. Advice from a Third Party Getting a different perspective on your situation can be helpful when seeking advice from someone outside your inner circle. This could be a professional counselor, an online support group, or a caring team member at Collage . You deserve people in your life who want to understand you without judgment. You Are Not Alone Even if those around you don’t fully understand, there are people who do. A supportive environment can make all the difference as you navigate this decision. Collage is here to walk with you during this time. We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, pregnancy options information, and more at no cost so you can get informed and have the support you need to move forward with certainty. Schedule a confidential appointment today.

The Role of Support Systems When Considering Abortion

March 7, 2025

Discovering you’re pregnant when you weren’t expecting can feel like the ground has shifted beneath you. A flood of questions may rush in. What do I do? Who can I talk to? How will this change my life? In moments like these, having a strong support system can make all the difference. The people around you—family, friends, a partner, or trusted mentors—can provide clarity, encouragement, and resources to help you navigate your options. Why Support Systems Matter It’s easy to feel isolated during an unexpected pregnancy with high stress and emotions. However, decisions made in isolation can be overwhelming and may lead to regret. Having a support system allows you to process your emotions, ask questions, and consider your next steps with a clear mind. Those who care about you can offer reassurance and help you explore the emotional, physical, and practical aspects of your decision. Avoiding Pressure and Outside Influence Unfortunately, some women experience pressure from their partner, family members, or even friends to make a decision they aren’t comfortable with. A healthy support system respects your right to make an informed choice without coercion. If you’re feeling pressured, it’s essential to reach out to someone who will listen, not dictate. Support should come from those who uplift and empower you, not those who push you into a choice based on their preferences. Seeking Reliable Information It’s crucial to have access to accurate medical information about abortion, its risks, and its alternatives. A strong support system can help you connect with organizations (such as Collage ) that offer factual, judgment-free care. You can also seek help from professional counselors or a mentor, but ultimately, surrounding yourself with people who prioritize your well-being can bring insight and peace of mind to your decision-making process. We’re Here For You At Collage, we understand how important support is when considering your options. We offer free and confidential pregnancy services, including lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, abortion information, and more so you can make an informed choice. Even if you don’t feel you have a support system in your life, you have one with us. Reach out today to learn more about how we’re here for you.

Why Does an Ultrasound Matter if I’m Considering Abortion?

February 13, 2025

If you’re thinking about abortion, an ultrasound is a crucial step to gather essential information about your pregnancy. It provides key details that can help determine which options are available to you and ensures your health and safety as you make this important decision. At Collage , we offer free limited OB ultrasounds to give you the clarity and support you need, as well as more information on your pregnancy options. Ultrasounds During Pregnancy An ultrasound is a diagnostic tool that uses sound waves to create detailed images of your body. These images provide vital insights into your pregnancy, helping you make an informed decision. Here are three critical pieces of information an ultrasound can reveal: 1. The Location of Your Pregnancy An ultrasound can confirm if your pregnancy is located in the uterus. Sometimes, a pregnancy can implant outside the uterus, typically in a fallopian tube, resulting in an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is a serious condition that cannot result in a live birth and requires immediate medical attention to avoid a life-threatening situation. Even if you’re considering abortion, identifying an ectopic pregnancy through ultrasound is essential to protect your health. 2. How Far Along You Are (Gestational Age) Understanding how far along you are is critical for determining which abortion options you can access. For example, the abortion pill is FDA-approved only for pregnancies up to ten weeks gestation. If your pregnancy is further along, a surgical abortion would be the alternative option available, depending on the circumstances. Period-tracking apps can estimate gestational age, but they lack the accuracy of an ultrasound, which can precisely date your pregnancy. 3. Whether Your Pregnancy Is Progressing Not all pregnancies continue as expected—approximately 26% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. An ultrasound can detect if a miscarriage has occurred so you can follow up with the appropriate care plan. Protect Your Health As you can see, an ultrasound is an essential step in protecting your health and understanding your options. You deserve to make an informed and confident decision and the free limited OB ultrasounds Collage provides will help you to do just that. Contact us today to schedule your appointment. Our care and support are designed to help you through this crucial time. Let us be a source of strength for you.