Guy's Perspective: Unexpected

November 4, 2022
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Unexpected. This was unexpected. She just texted you that her period is two weeks late, which means she might be pregnant. Yep, pregnant. Your mind kicks into overdrive, and questions begin flooding your head…


I never thought this would happen to me. Now what?

Discovering that your partner could be pregnant can be overwhelming. Remember, not every missed or late period means that there's a pregnancy. So it's crucial that your partner confirms if she is pregnant. 


Collage can provide a free and confidential pregnancy test. If that test is positive, a limited obstetrical (OB) ultrasound can be offered here at our center by a sonographer. This ultrasound confirms the viability of the pregnancy and reveals how far along she is.


Do I have a say if she's considering an abortion?

It is her right to choose to have an abortion without the permission of the baby's father. Even though you don’t have complete control of this situation, you can still have a say in the outcome of the pregnancy. The fact is, she's dealing with a lot of the same questions that are going through your mind. 

  • How will I support the child?
  • What will people think of me?
  • How will my parents react?


Your support during this time is crucial as she decides the outcome of the pregnancy. You have the opportunity to come alongside her and walk through some of these concerns.


How do I support her?

Initiating a conversation is a great start. Talking through your options and listening to each other's concerns is crucial. Keeping the pregnancy a secret may create unneeded tension during an already stressful situation. So, opening up to your parents or other close friends in your life can be a great way to build support. 


Remember the importance of listening. Take time to hear her fears and how she’s feeling. Although taking the time to listen is essential, don't be afraid to speak up during these conversations. We've heard many women express they wanted to hear their partner say, "I don't know what will happen to us in the future, but I do know we can provide a future for our child." She may not want to pressure you to do something like saying yes to her and this pregnancy. However, if you feel that you do want to step into fatherhood, you should let her know.


Where can we go to learn more about our options?

Collage is a safe and confidential place where you and your partner can ask any questions you may have. Our trained staff can help you look at all of your options and answer questions about abortion, adoption, and parenting. Ultimately, you are the only individuals who can make the final decision. Still, we're here to provide help and answers during this time of uncertainty.


She doesn't act like she wants me involved. Should I just bail?

The fact is, everybody handles stressful situations differently. You may see her frustration or anger as a sign that she doesn't want you involved, but that feeling may be born from the worry of an unexpected pregnancy. At this point, you have a chance to step up and take responsibility for the circumstances. This child is a combination of both of you, so it's essential to figure out together what the best outcome of the pregnancy is for all three of you.


What if we disagree on the options?

It's crucial to be honest with each other as you discuss your options. Don't pressure her to do something she doesn't want to do. Remember, this pregnancy is fully impacting her future. If you encounter constant disagreements, consider seeking guidance from a parent or close friend. 


We encourage you to start talking with your partner and take your time in making this decision. Remember, you don’t have to go through this journey alone. You may have a family member or friend that cares for you and wants to help. The staff at Collage is also here to walk alongside you and your partner as you learn more about your options.

December 17, 2025
Holiday gatherings often bring familiar traditions, questions, and expectations. But when you’re carrying the news of an unexpected pregnancy that you haven’t shared, the season may feel different this year. You might be participating in celebrations while quietly navigating thoughts and emotions that others cannot see. If you want clarity about your pregnancy or a private space to consider your next steps, Collage offers free services, including pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and confidential consultations, to support your needs. Schedule your appointment today. Prepare Yourself, Not the Perfect Conversation You may not be ready to share your news, and that’s okay. What can help is preparing yourself: deciding on the topics you’re comfortable discussing, the questions you want to avoid, and the boundaries you want to set. This proactivity allows you to answer without feeling like you need to tell all and not overshare. Create Space Throughout the Gathering Instead of thinking about the whole event at once, break it into smaller, manageable moments. Emotional regulation becomes easier when you give yourself space to reset. Try:  Stepping outside for a few breaths of fresh air Finding a quiet room for a brief pause Taking a short walk after a meal Giving yourself permission to excuse yourself from overwhelming conversations These small steps can help protect your peace. Remember that if at any point during the gathering you’re ready to go home, go ahead. Take care of yourself by calling it a day when necessary. Meet Your Basic Needs Early pregnancy symptoms such as nausea and fatigue can be uncomfortable during gatherings. Come prepared to meet your own needs by bringing pregnancy nausea candy, snacks to settle your stomach, and a water bottle. Store these items in your purse, knowing they’re ready when you need them. You Don’t Have to Navigate This Season Alone If you want clarity before facing holiday conversations, Collage can help you understand your pregnancy and answer questions in a calm, confidential setting, which can make these boundaries easier to hold. Contact us whenever you’re ready to schedule a free appointment. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .
November 11, 2025
Learning you’re unexpectedly pregnant can bring up complicated emotions, uncertainty, fear, or even exhaustion if you’ve faced this situation before. You may know that you don’t want another abortion, but still wonder what options exist for your future. At Collage, we provide free and confidential support so you can explore your choices in a compassionate environment. Whether you want to understand what parenting or adoption could look like or simply need someone to listen, you’re not alone. Schedule a free appointment today to learn how we can help. Exploring Parenting Parenting can feel like an enormous responsibility, especially if your finances, relationships, or housing situation are uncertain. Many women ask themselves: “Can I really do this on my own?” “Where will I find the help I need?” “What kind of future can I provide for my child?” These are real and valid questions. At Collage, we’ll help you identify the resources and support available in your community. From offering a warm, supportive presence as you explore this option to providing referrals for resources like housing or childcare support, we’ll ensure you’re not facing these challenges alone. Parenting can be both demanding and deeply rewarding. With encouragement, community connections, and the right information, you can feel more confident in providing a stable, nurturing environment for your child. Understanding Adoption If parenting doesn’t feel like the right fit for your current situation, adoption offers another path forward, one rooted in hope and love. You remain in control of the process, deciding how involved you wish to be in your child’s life. You can select from multiple adoption plans depending on your comfort level: Open adoption: Allows for ongoing communication and contact between you, your child, and the adoptive family. Semi-open adoption: Offers limited contact through a third party, maintaining privacy while keeping some connection. Closed adoption: Protects complete confidentiality with no exchange of identifying information. Financial support is available throughout the adoption process. You’ll never pay for legal or medical services related to adoption. Best of all, adoption agencies can help ensure your needs are met and your wishes are respected every step of the way. Adoption is not an easy decision, but for some women, it brings a sense of peace and purpose, knowing their child is loved and cared for in a stable environment. We can discuss this option with you and offer referrals to reputable agencies so you feel informed. Taking the Next Step Your situation is unique, and so is your decision. Whether you’re considering parenting or adoption or simply need time to process your feelings, Collage is here to provide information and encouragement. We’re available to answer questions, explain your options, and connect you with trusted community resources, all at no cost and in a confidential setting. Schedule your free appointment today to start finding clarity and peace of mind. FAQ: Is it normal to feel uncertain about my decision? Yes. Many women experience mixed emotions when facing an unexpected pregnancy. It’s okay to take time and talk through your options before deciding. What if I don’t think I can afford to parent? We can connect you with programs and community partners that provide material and emotional support, so you will feel more equipped to parent if you choose to. How does adoption work? You remain in control. You’ll choose the family and the level of contact and receive guidance from trusted professionals who handle the legal and practical aspects of the process. Are services at Collage really free? Yes. All services are completely free and confidential. Your privacy and comfort are our priority. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.
By Kirsten Berns October 28, 2025
Finding out your partner is unexpectedly pregnant can change everything in an instant. You may feel shocked, worried, or unsure about your role. Those feelings are normal. What matters most is how you respond in this moment and what steps you take next. At Collage, we provide no-cost and confidential services for women and men walking through unexpected pregnancies. Schedule an appointment to learn how we can support you—you don’t have to carry the weight of this situation alone. Understanding Your Own Feelings Before you can support your partner, it’s important to process what you’re experiencing. Talking with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor can help you sort through your emotions and understand what this news means. Showing your partner that you are engaging with your own feelings demonstrates that you are taking the pregnancy seriously. Walking With Her Your partner may be feeling the same uncertainty and fear that you are. One of the most powerful things you can do is simply be present. Attend appointments with her, listen when she shares her concerns, and offer support, like running errands or helping with everyday tasks. These small actions communicate that she is not facing this alone. Learning Together Getting informed is one of the best steps you can take together. At Collage, we provide option information so you and your partner can learn more about parenting, adoption, and abortion. Our staff will answer questions and help you understand what each option may look like. Having reliable, unbiased information allows you to approach this decision more confidently. Taking the Next Step This is not something you have to figure out overnight. Unexpected pregnancies can feel overwhelming, but there are resources, support, and people who care about both of you. Collage is here to listen, guide, and provide clarity when you need it most. Request your no-cost and confidential appointment today. Moving forward together can make all the difference. FAQ: What role should I play if my partner is pregnant? Listening, staying present, and supporting her as she makes decisions is crucial. You don’t have to have every answer, but being by her side matters. Can I attend appointments with her? Yes, and many women appreciate having their partner there. It shows support and can help both of you learn about options together. What if my partner chooses parenting and I don’t feel ready to be a dad? It’s normal to feel unprepared. Talking through your concerns with someone you trust and learning about options can help you move forward with more clarity.  Does Collage provide abortions? Collage does not provide or refer for abortions. However, we do provide no-cost pre-abortion screenings, confidential services, accurate information, and compassionate support so you and your partner can make informed decisions.
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