Guy's Perspective: Unexpected

Unexpected. This was unexpected. She just texted you that her period is two weeks late, which means she might be pregnant. Yep, pregnant. Your mind kicks into overdrive, and questions begin flooding your head…

I never thought this would happen to me. Now what?

Discovering that your partner could be pregnant can be overwhelming. Remember, not every missed or late period means that there's a pregnancy. So it's crucial that your partner confirms if she is pregnant.

Collage can provide a free and confidential pregnancy test. If that test is positive, a limited obstetrical (OB) ultrasound can be offered here at our center by a sonographer. This ultrasound confirms the viability of the pregnancy and reveals how far along she is.

Do I have a say if she's considering an abortion?

It is her right to choose to have an abortion without the permission of the baby's father. Even though you don’t have complete control of this situation, you can still have a say in the outcome of the pregnancy. The fact is, she's dealing with a lot of the same questions that are going through your mind.

How will I support the child?
What will people think of me?
How will my parents react?

Your support during this time is crucial as she decides the outcome of the pregnancy. You have the opportunity to come alongside her and walk through some of these concerns.

How do I support her?

Initiating a conversation is a great start. Talking through your options and listening to each other's concerns is crucial. Keeping the pregnancy a secret may create unneeded tension during an already stressful situation. So, opening up to your parents or other close friends in your life can be a great way to build support.

Remember the importance of listening. Take time to hear her fears and how she’s feeling. Although taking the time to listen is essential, don't be afraid to speak up during these conversations. We've heard many women express they wanted to hear their partner say, "I don't know what will happen to us in the future, but I do know we can provide a future for our child." She may not want to pressure you to do something like saying yes to her and this pregnancy. However, if you feel that you do want to step into fatherhood, you should let her know.

Where can we go to learn more about our options?

Collage is a safe and confidential place where you and your partner can ask any questions you may have. Our trained staff can help you look at all of your options and answer questions about abortion, adoption, and parenting. Ultimately, you are the only individuals who can make the final decision. Still, we're here to provide help and answers during this time of uncertainty.

She doesn't act like she wants me involved. Should I just bail?

The fact is, everybody handles stressful situations differently. You may see her frustration or anger as a sign that she doesn't want you involved, but that feeling may be born from the worry of an unexpected pregnancy. At this point, you have a chance to step up and take responsibility for the circumstances. This child is a combination of both of you, so it's essential to figure out together what the best outcome of the pregnancy is for all three of you.

What if we disagree on the options?

It's crucial to be honest with each other as you discuss your options. Don't pressure her to do something she doesn't want to do. Remember, this pregnancy is fully impacting her future. If you encounter constant disagreements, consider seeking guidance from a parent or close friend.

We encourage you to start talking with your partner and take your time in making this decision. Remember, you don’t have to go through this journey alone. You may have a family member or friend that cares for you and wants to help. The staff at Collage is also here to walk alongside you and your partner as you learn more about your options.

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My Friends Are Telling Me to Abort, But I'm Not Ready

June 4, 2025

An unexpected pregnancy can leave you with more questions than answers. Especially when friends are urging you to choose abortion, you may be more confused than ever. While their advice might come from care or fear, it’s essential to remember this is your pregnancy, future, and choice. At Collage, we’re here to help you navigate this pressure and find a path that feels right for you so that you can feel informed and confident about your decision. Reach out to us today for no-cost support. Listen to Your Instincts Your friends might be an important part of your life, but your instincts matter most. If abortion doesn’t feel right, take a moment to ask: What’s holding me back? Maybe you’re picturing parenting your child or are curious about adoption. It’s also important to keep in mind that abortion is a serious procedure that your friends may not fully grasp the details of. Physical and emotional risks are involved, making it a more complex decision. Your hesitation is a sign to slow down and explore, not to rush into a choice you’re not ready for. Talk It Out If your friends keep pressing, try a gentle conversation. Let them know you understand they’re worried, you’re not sure about abortion yet. Ask what’s driving their advice. Maybe they’re scared about your finances or future. Maybe they’re simply telling you what they’d do in your situation, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Understanding their side can ease tension without giving in. If they won’t respect your space, set boundaries and let them know you need time to think. You don’t owe them an immediate answer. Find Your Support Surround yourself with people who’ll lift you up, not pull you down. Write down your thoughts or talk to someone neutral. You can find a counselor or even online spaces where you can share your heart with those who won’t push one option over another. Even a trusted family member, a mentor, or a place like Collage can offer perspective without strings. You deserve to make this decision with clear facts and a steady heart, not under pressure. Help is Available If your friends are pushing abortion but you’re not ready, Collage is here with no-cost lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited obstetric ultrasounds, and pregnancy options education to help you decide what’s next. Our trained team offers confidential support to explore parenting, adoption, or abortion without pressure. Contact us for a no-cost appointment today. You deserve to choose your own path.

Hiding My Pregnancy: Would Abortion Be an Option?

May 21, 2025

An unexpected pregnancy can flip your world upside down, and the urge to keep it under wraps might hit hard. Maybe you’re thinking abortion could erase the situation quietly.

What to Do When Friends and Family Are Pressuring You into an Abortion Decision

April 2, 2025

What do you do when those closest to you start pushing you toward a decision that doesn’t feel right? Pressure from family or friends to choose abortion can leave you feeling stuck, unheard, and unsure of what to do next. How can you hold firm in your decision while dealing with well-meaning but overwhelming advice? Here’s what you can do to navigate this difficult situation with strength and resilience. Mental Health and Pressure Your decision should be your own—one that isn’t influenced by guilt or outside expectations. Studies show that women who feel pressured into abortion are more likely to experience guilt, anxiety, depression, and other negative mental health outcomes. Protecting your mental and emotional health starts with making a choice that aligns with what you truly want. Ways to Handle the Pressure Since you understand why this decision needs to be yours, here are some practical steps to help you handle outside pressure. Give Yourself Time You don’t have to decide right away. Take a moment, think through your feelings, and give yourself the gift to reflect without feeling rushed. You're less likely to regret a decision made on your terms. Learn About All Your Options Abortion isn’t your only choice. Parenting and adoption are also possibilities, each with its own forms of support and resources. Learning more about these options can help you make an informed decision you feel at peace with. Set Boundaries It can be tough to stand your ground when others have strong opinions about your decision. Clearly expressing your thoughts by setting boundaries can help you avoid unwanted pressure. Letting others know you need time and space to think can help shift the conversation away from their influence and back to what’s best for you. Advice from a Third Party Getting a different perspective on your situation can be helpful when seeking advice from someone outside your inner circle. This could be a professional counselor, an online support group, or a caring team member at Collage . You deserve people in your life who want to understand you without judgment. You Are Not Alone Even if those around you don’t fully understand, there are people who do. A supportive environment can make all the difference as you navigate this decision. Collage is here to walk with you during this time. We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, pregnancy options information, and more at no cost so you can get informed and have the support you need to move forward with certainty. Schedule a confidential appointment today.