Blog

What Are the Side Effects of the Abortion Pill?

Tue, 21 Apr 2026 04:37:21 GMT

Facing an unexpected pregnancy brings up a lot of questions, and it makes complete sense that you want to understand every option before deciding anything. If you're considering the abortion pill, knowing what it actually involves, including its side effects, is an important part of making a decision based on the facts.

You don't have to sort through this alone. Schedule a no-cost appointment with Collage today to get your questions answered.

How the Abortion Pill Works

The abortion pill uses two drugs taken in sequence. The first, mifepristone, blocks progesterone, a hormone that supports the growth and development of the pregnancy. Without it, the pregnancy detaches from the uterine lining. The second drug, misoprostol, is typically taken at home and causes the uterus to contract and expel the pregnancy tissue.

Heavy bleeding and cramping will be part of this process, and some women have described the pain as more severe than they anticipated.

Side Effects to Know

Beyond bleeding and cramping, the abortion pill can also cause these side effects :

Upset stomach
Vomiting
Diarrhea
Headache
Fever
Chills

These side effects vary from woman to woman, which is one reason having a healthcare provider involved matters. Without medical oversight, it can be difficult to know what's within the range of normal and what requires immediate attention.

Your personal health history also plays a role in how your body responds. Speaking with a medical professional before proceeding is an important step in protecting your well-being.

Why an Ultrasound Matters First

Before considering any pregnancy option, an ultrasound provides information that a pregnancy test simply cannot. It can confirm whether the pregnancy is progressing, rule out an ectopic pregnancy , and tell you how far along you are. The FDA approves the abortion pill only through 10 weeks gestation, making that last detail a critical piece of information for your safety.

We're Here for You

Whatever you're feeling right now, there’s no pressure here. At Collage, we genuinely care about you and want to make sure you have everything you need to make a sound decision.

We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing and limited obstetrical ultrasounds, and our team is ready to talk through all your options, parenting, adoption, and abortion, in a warm, supportive environment.

Schedule your no-cost appointment today. We're so glad you reached out.

Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

All abortion information in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.

3 Things to Know if You Are Considering Mail-Order Abortion

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 09:41:25 GMT

Facing an unexpected pregnancy can bring a lot of emotions, and often, a sense of urgency to make a decision quickly. You may have seen options online to order abortion pills by mail and wondered if it’s a simple solution. Before making a decision, it’s important to understand how this option could affect your health and what steps you can take to make a fully informed decision.

1. Your Health Should Always Come First

Mail-order abortion often skips important medical safeguards. In many cases, there is no in-person evaluation before receiving the drugs. That means key health factors, such as your medical history and potential risks, will not be fully considered.

There can also be uncertainty about the source of the drugs, including how they were handled, stored, or dosed. In fact, the FDA does not recommend this option because the drugs’ quality, safety, and effectiveness cannot be guaranteed.

Taking time to understand your health first is a smart and proactive way to protect yourself.

2. You Need Clear Answers About Your Pregnancy

A pregnancy test alone doesn’t give you the full picture. Before considering abortion, it’s important to confirm details about your pregnancy through an ultrasound.

An ultrasound can tell you:

How far along are you?
Whether the pregnancy is developing (or if you’ve miscarried )
Where the pregnancy is located

These details matter more than you might think. Abortion pills are FDA-approved only through 10 weeks of gestation, and without accurate dating, it’s possible to miscalculate how far along you are.

An ultrasound can also detect an ectopic pregnancy , which occurs outside the uterus and requires immediate medical attention. Abortion pills will not treat this condition. What’s more, if you’ve experienced a miscarriage, you may require medical follow-up to prevent complications.

Getting these details first helps ensure your safety. We offer limited OB ultrasounds following positive lab-quality pregnancy testing with us.

3. It’s Important to Understand the Process and Risks

Mail-order abortion may sound straightforward, but it’s important to know what it may actually involve. The process includes significant cramping and bleeding as the body expels the pregnancy, with some women describing the pain as being unexpectedly severe .

Other side effects can include:

Nausea or vomiting
Fever or chills
Diarrhea
Headaches

There are also potential risks , such as heavy bleeding, infection, or an incomplete abortion that may require additional medical care. Without in-person support, it can be difficult to know what’s expected and when something may need medical attention.

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

When everything feels overwhelming, it can help to take a moment to evaluate your next steps and get the information you need. At Collage, we provide no-cost, confidential services so you can ask questions, gather accurate information, and explore your options at your own pace in a one-on-one setting.

Schedule your appointment today.

Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

All abortion information sourced in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.

My Partner is Pressuring Me to Have an Abortion, But I’m Not Sure

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 05:21:29 GMT

An unexpected pregnancy can already feel like a lot to carry. However, when your partner is strongly pushing you toward abortion, and you’re not sure what you want, it can feel even heavier. You may feel torn between your own emotions and his expectations, trying to keep the peace while feeling anxious or confused.

If you’re in this situation, take a deep breath. At Collage, we understand how emotionally complicated this can be. You deserve a safe place to talk through what you’re feeling and be treated with respect. You don’t have to rush into a decision. Schedule a free appointment to learn how we can help you navigate this situation.

It’s Your Decision

Sometimes a partner’s reaction is rooted in panic. He may be thinking about finances, school, your relationship, or how unprepared he feels. In his mind, abortion may seem like the fastest solution.

When someone repeatedly insists on one outcome, refuses to listen, or makes you feel guilty for even considering other options, it can start to feel like your voice doesn’t matter. And in a moment this vulnerable, your voice matters more than ever.

Giving Yourself Space

If conversations feel tense or emotionally draining, it’s okay to take a step back. You have the right to say something like, “I need time to think. I’m not ready to decide right now.”

Creating a little space can help you reconnect with your own thoughts instead of constantly reacting to his.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause, breathe, and remind yourself that you don’t have to figure everything out in one day.

You Deserve Respect

It’s also important to pay attention to warning signs. If your partner threatens to leave, withdraw support, manipulate you emotionally, or isolate you from others unless you choose abortion, that is not love. That is control.

You deserve a relationship where your safety and well-being are protected, not threatened.

If you ever feel unsafe, reach out for immediate support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) offers 24/7 confidential resources to help you get the assistance you need.

You Deserve a Safe Place to Talk It Through

At Collage, we’re here to support you. You don’t have to walk into our center with a decision already made. You can come in simply because you need someone to listen, help you process, and remind you that you are not alone.

This is your pregnancy and future. If your partner is pressuring you and you’re feeling unsure, please know that help is available. We offer a calm, caring environment where you can talk openly, ask questions, and explore your options without feeling judged or persuaded to make a specific decision.

You are not alone in this. Schedule an appointment with Collage today. We’re here to walk with you, one step at a time.

Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .

Do I Have to Tell My Partner I Want an Abortion?

Fri, 23 Jan 2026 07:09:46 GMT

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can bring up difficult questions, especially when it comes to your relationship. You may be wondering whether you are required to tell your partner you’re considering an abortion, or whether it’s okay to keep that information private. Fear of conflict, concern about pressure, or a desire to protect your emotional well-being can all play a role. These feelings are common, and it’s okay to take time to think through what feels safest and healthiest for you.

Collage offers a confidential and non-judgmental space where you can discuss these concerns without pressure. Before making any decisions, we provide cost-free pregnancy services , including ultrasounds, to help you understand important details about your pregnancy. Our goal is to give you accurate medical information and the space you need to move forward with clarity.

You’re welcome to schedule a private, confidential appointment to learn more when you feel ready.

Understanding Your Autonomy

In many states, adults are not legally required to tell a partner if they’re considering or planning an abortion. Medical decisions about your body are generally protected by privacy laws, meaning the decision is legally yours. Some exceptions exist, such as parental involvement laws for minors, but partner notification is typically not required for adults.

Even when the law is clear, the emotional side of this decision can feel complicated. You may feel torn between maintaining privacy and wanting honesty in your relationship. There is no single “right” approach, only what best supports your well-being and circumstances.

When Safety Is a Concern

In some relationships, sharing your thoughts with a partner may lead to understanding or emotional support. In others, it may not feel safe. If you’re worried about pressure, manipulation, anger, or physical harm, prioritizing your safety is essential. You’re never obligated to share information that could put you at risk.

If you feel unsafe or unsure, confidential help is available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-SAFE). Support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Why Medical Information Matters

Whether or not you involve your partner, having accurate medical information is an important step. An ultrasound can help confirm gestational age, pregnancy location, and whether the pregnancy is viable. These details matter for your health and can help you feel more grounded as you consider your next steps.

You Are Not Alone

At Collage, we offer a confidential, respectful environment where your voice and concerns are taken seriously. Our team provides pregnancy confirmation, emotional support, and space to think through your situation without pressure or judgment. You deserve time, clarity, and peace of mind as you decide what is right for your life.

Connect with Collage to discuss your questions in a supportive and confidential setting.

Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

How to Handle Holiday Gatherings When You Haven’t Shared Your Pregnancy News Yet

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 05:01:35 GMT

Holiday gatherings often bring familiar traditions, questions, and expectations. But when you’re carrying the news of an unexpected pregnancy that you haven’t shared, the season may feel different this year. You might be participating in celebrations while quietly navigating thoughts and emotions that others cannot see.

If you want clarity about your pregnancy or a private space to consider your next steps, Collage offers free services, including pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and confidential consultations, to support your needs. Schedule your appointment today.

Prepare Yourself, Not the Perfect Conversation

You may not be ready to share your news, and that’s okay. What can help is preparing yourself: deciding on the topics you’re comfortable discussing, the questions you want to avoid, and the boundaries you want to set. This proactivity allows you to answer without feeling like you need to tell all and not overshare.

Create Space Throughout the Gathering

Instead of thinking about the whole event at once, break it into smaller, manageable moments. Emotional regulation becomes easier when you give yourself space to reset. Try:

Stepping outside for a few breaths of fresh air
Finding a quiet room for a brief pause
Taking a short walk after a meal
Giving yourself permission to excuse yourself from overwhelming conversations

These small steps can help protect your peace. Remember that if at any point during the gathering you’re ready to go home, go ahead. Take care of yourself by calling it a day when necessary.

Meet Your Basic Needs

Early pregnancy symptoms such as nausea and fatigue can be uncomfortable during gatherings. Come prepared to meet your own needs by bringing pregnancy nausea candy, snacks to settle your stomach, and a water bottle. Store these items in your purse, knowing they’re ready when you need them.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Season Alone

If you want clarity before facing holiday conversations, Collage can help you understand your pregnancy and answer questions in a calm, confidential setting, which can make these boundaries easier to hold.

Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .

I Don’t Want Another Abortion

Tue, 11 Nov 2025 07:06:07 GMT

Learning you’re unexpectedly pregnant can bring up complicated emotions, uncertainty, fear, or even exhaustion if you’ve faced this situation before. You may know that you don’t want another abortion, but still wonder what options exist for your future.

At Collage, we provide free and confidential support so you can explore your choices in a compassionate environment. Whether you want to understand what parenting or adoption could look like or simply need someone to listen, you’re not alone.

Schedule a free appointment today to learn how we can help.

Exploring Parenting

Parenting can feel like an enormous responsibility, especially if your finances, relationships, or housing situation are uncertain. Many women ask themselves:

“Can I really do this on my own?”
“Where will I find the help I need?”
“What kind of future can I provide for my child?”

These are real and valid questions. At Collage, we’ll help you identify the resources and support available in your community. From offering a warm, supportive presence as you explore this option to providing referrals for resources like housing or childcare support, we’ll ensure you’re not facing these challenges alone.

Parenting can be both demanding and deeply rewarding. With encouragement, community connections, and the right information, you can feel more confident in providing a stable, nurturing environment for your child.

Understanding Adoption

If parenting doesn’t feel like the right fit for your current situation, adoption offers another path forward, one rooted in hope and love. You remain in control of the process, deciding how involved you wish to be in your child’s life.

You can select from multiple adoption plans depending on your comfort level:

Open adoption: Allows for ongoing communication and contact between you, your child, and the adoptive family.
Semi-open adoption: Offers limited contact through a third party, maintaining privacy while keeping some connection.
Closed adoption: Protects complete confidentiality with no exchange of identifying information.

Financial support is available throughout the adoption process. You’ll never pay for legal or medical services related to adoption. Best of all, adoption agencies can help ensure your needs are met and your wishes are respected every step of the way.

Adoption is not an easy decision, but for some women, it brings a sense of peace and purpose, knowing their child is loved and cared for in a stable environment. We can discuss this option with you and offer referrals to reputable agencies so you feel informed.

Taking the Next Step

Your situation is unique, and so is your decision. Whether you’re considering parenting or adoption or simply need time to process your feelings, Collage is here to provide information and encouragement.

We’re available to answer questions, explain your options, and connect you with trusted community resources, all at no cost and in a confidential setting.

Schedule your free appointment today to start finding clarity and peace of mind.

FAQ:

Is it normal to feel uncertain about my decision?

Yes. Many women experience mixed emotions when facing an unexpected pregnancy. It’s okay to take time and talk through your options before deciding.

What if I don’t think I can afford to parent?

We can connect you with programs and community partners that provide material and emotional support, so you will feel more equipped to parent if you choose to.

How does adoption work?

You remain in control. You’ll choose the family and the level of contact and receive guidance from trusted professionals who handle the legal and practical aspects of the process.

Are services at Collage really free?

Yes. All services are completely free and confidential. Your privacy and comfort are our priority.

Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

What Can Guys Do with an Unexpected Pregnancy?

Tue, 28 Oct 2025 07:02:20 GMT

Finding out your partner is unexpectedly pregnant can change everything in an instant. You may feel shocked, worried, or unsure about your role. Those feelings are normal. What matters most is how you respond in this moment and what steps you take next.

At Collage, we provide no-cost and confidential services for women and men walking through unexpected pregnancies. Schedule an appointment to learn how we can support you—you don’t have to carry the weight of this situation alone.

Understanding Your Own Feelings

Before you can support your partner, it’s important to process what you’re experiencing. Talking with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor can help you sort through your emotions and understand what this news means.

Showing your partner that you are engaging with your own feelings demonstrates that you are taking the pregnancy seriously.

Walking With Her

Your partner may be feeling the same uncertainty and fear that you are. One of the most powerful things you can do is simply be present. Attend appointments with her, listen when she shares her concerns, and offer support, like running errands or helping with everyday tasks.

These small actions communicate that she is not facing this alone.

Learning Together

Getting informed is one of the best steps you can take together. At Collage, we provide option information so you and your partner can learn more about parenting, adoption, and abortion.

Our staff will answer questions and help you understand what each option may look like. Having reliable, unbiased information allows you to approach this decision more confidently.

Taking the Next Step

This is not something you have to figure out overnight. Unexpected pregnancies can feel overwhelming, but there are resources, support, and people who care about both of you. Collage is here to listen, guide, and provide clarity when you need it most.

Request your no-cost and confidential appointment today. Moving forward together can make all the difference.

FAQ:

What role should I play if my partner is pregnant?

Listening, staying present, and supporting her as she makes decisions is crucial. You don’t have to have every answer, but being by her side matters.

Can I attend appointments with her?

Yes, and many women appreciate having their partner there. It shows support and can help both of you learn about options together.

What if my partner chooses parenting and I don’t feel ready to be a dad?

It’s normal to feel unprepared. Talking through your concerns with someone you trust and learning about options can help you move forward with more clarity.

Does Collage provide abortions?

Collage does not provide or refer for abortions. However, we do provide no-cost pre-abortion screenings, confidential services, accurate information, and compassionate support so you and your partner can make informed decisions.

How Will Abortion Affect Me Mentally?

Wed, 24 Sep 2025 02:02:55 GMT

When considering abortion, it’s natural to wonder how the decision could affect your mental health. While every woman’s experience is different, being aware of possible emotional impacts and taking time to reflect on your circumstances can help you make an informed choice.

At Collage, we provide free, confidential support so you don’t have to navigate these questions alone. Our staff is here to listen, answer your questions, and connect you with the resources you need as you process your options. Contact us to schedule your appointment today.

What Research Suggests

Research has shown that abortion can lead to a range of emotional responses. The American Psychological Association notes that some women experience grief, sadness, or even clinically significant issues like depression and anxiety afterward.

Certain factors may make these outcomes more likely, such as:

A history of mental health challenges
Pressure from others to make a decision
Lack of support or secrecy about the pregnancy
Strong personal, cultural, or spiritual beliefs
Wanting to continue the pregnancy but feeling unable to

Recognizing how these factors may apply to your situation can help you prepare and seek support.

You Have Other Options

You are the one who will live with this decision, so it’s important not to rush. Confirming your pregnancy with a lab- quality test and ultrasound can provide clarity and help you understand your options, which include parenting and adoption.

Speaking with a counselor or a healthcare professional can also give you space to process your feelings without judgment.

We’re Here for You

At Collage, we offer free pregnancy testing, limited ultrasounds, and confidential consultations so you can explore your options with accurate information and compassionate support.

Schedule your free appointment today. You deserve the time, space, and care to make a confident decision with your mental health top of mind.

Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do provide pre-abortion screenings.

Am I Eligible for the Abortion Pill?

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 06:26:01 GMT

Are you considering the abortion pill and wondering whether it’s an option for you? At times like these, you may feel uncertain about what steps to take next. We understand the emotions of this kind of decision, and we’re here to offer a safe, compassionate place to talk through your concerns and questions.

Understanding how the abortion pill works and who it’s intended for can help you make an informed decision. Our free and confidential services are here to support you as you navigate your next steps.

What Is the Abortion Pill?

The abortion pill, also called a medical abortion , involves two drugs taken within the first 10 weeks of pregnancy. The first drug, mifepristone, works by blocking the hormone progesterone, which is needed for a pregnancy to continue. The second drug, misoprostol, is taken later at home to cause cramping and bleeding that expels the pregnancy.

While this method is commonly used early in pregnancy, not everyone is eligible to take the abortion pill. Several medical factors need to be considered first.

Can I Take the Abortion Pill?

It’s essential first to confirm how far along you are and rule out any health concerns that may make the abortion pill not an option . It may be more risky if:

You are more than 10 weeks pregnant, dating from the first day of your last menstrual period
You have a possible ectopic pregnancy (outside the uterus)
You currently have an IUD in place
You have certain medical conditions, such as bleeding disorders, heart problems, severe liver or kidney disease, or unmanaged seizures
You are taking blood thinners or certain steroid medications
You have allergies to the medications involved
You cannot return for follow-up care or access emergency services if needed

A limited ultrasound is a critical first step. At Collage, we offer free limited OB ultrasounds to qualifying patients. An ultrasound confirms how far along you are, where the pregnancy is located, and whether the pregnancy is progressing.

Your First Step Matters

If you’re experiencing an unexpected pregnancy and considering the abortion pill, Collage offers free lab-quality pregnancy testing and a limited OB ultrasound. Our team is here to provide you with medically accurate information and a confidential space to explore your options.

We’re here to help you take the first step carefully and clearly. Contact us to schedule your free appointment today.

What Are My Second-Trimester Pregnancy Options?

Wed, 02 Jul 2025 06:27:32 GMT

If you’re in your second trimester (between 13 and 26 weeks of pregnancy), you might be asking, What now? Maybe you just found out you’re pregnant, or maybe this stage of pregnancy is bringing new questions or emotions.

No matter where you are in your journey, Collage is here to offer support, information, and a safe place to talk through your options.

Understanding Abortion Laws in Nebraska

In Nebraska, abortion is not permitted after 12 weeks gestation, with limited exceptions. If you’re considering abortion and believe you may be near or past this point, it’s important to have an ultrasound to confirm how far along you are.

If you’re unsure how far along you are, Collage offers no-cost lab-quality pregnancy testing and ultrasounds to provide the medical information you need to understand your next steps.

Exploring Your Other Pregnancy Options

If abortion is not an option or you’re unsure what’s next, you still have choices. We can talk with you more about each of them.

Parenting

Parenting might feel like something you’re not ready for or even impossible right now. But with the right support, it may be more achievable than you think.

You don’t have to have all the answers today. At Collage, we can connect you with local resources, parenting classes, and support systems that can help you prepare, step by step. You won’t be alone.

Adoption

If parenting doesn’t seem like the right fit for your current season, adoption is another option that gives you the ability to make a thoughtful plan for your child. Today’s adoption process puts you in control of key decisions, including:

Choosing the adoptive family
Deciding how much (if any) communication you’d like to have
Creating a plan that reflects your goals and values

We offer adoption referrals and a confidential space to explore what this might look like for you—no pressure, just information and support.

You’re Not Alone

Navigating pregnancy in the second trimester can feel heavy, but you don’t have to walk through it by yourself. At Collage, you’ll find compassionate care, medical services, and honest answers to your questions.

Schedule your no-cost appointment today. We’re here to listen and support through this process.

My Friends Are Telling Me to Abort, But I'm Not Ready

Wed, 04 Jun 2025 06:08:58 GMT

An unexpected pregnancy can leave you with more questions than answers. Especially when friends are urging you to choose abortion, you may be more confused than ever. While their advice might come from care or fear, it’s essential to remember this is your pregnancy, future, and choice.

At Collage, we’re here to help you navigate this pressure and find a path that feels right for you so that you can feel informed and confident about your decision. Reach out to us today for no-cost support.

Listen to Your Instincts

Your friends might be an important part of your life, but your instincts matter most. If abortion doesn’t feel right, take a moment to ask: What’s holding me back? Maybe you’re picturing parenting your child or are curious about adoption.

It’s also important to keep in mind that abortion is a serious procedure that your friends may not fully grasp the details of. Physical and emotional risks are involved, making it a more complex decision.

Your hesitation is a sign to slow down and explore, not to rush into a choice you’re not ready for.

Talk It Out

If your friends keep pressing, try a gentle conversation. Let them know you understand they’re worried, you’re not sure about abortion yet. Ask what’s driving their advice. Maybe they’re scared about your finances or future. Maybe they’re simply telling you what they’d do in your situation, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

Understanding their side can ease tension without giving in. If they won’t respect your space, set boundaries and let them know you need time to think. You don’t owe them an immediate answer.

Find Your Support

Surround yourself with people who’ll lift you up, not pull you down. Write down your thoughts or talk to someone neutral. You can find a counselor or even online spaces where you can share your heart with those who won’t push one option over another.

Even a trusted family member, a mentor, or a place like Collage can offer perspective without strings. You deserve to make this decision with clear facts and a steady heart, not under pressure.

Help is Available

If your friends are pushing abortion but you’re not ready, Collage is here with no-cost lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited obstetric ultrasounds, and pregnancy options education to help you decide what’s next.

Our trained team offers confidential support to explore parenting, adoption, or abortion without pressure.

Hiding My Pregnancy: Would Abortion Be an Option?

Wed, 21 May 2025 13:24:44 GMT

An unexpected pregnancy can flip your world upside down, and the urge to keep it under wraps might hit hard. Maybe you’re thinking abortion could erase the situation quietly.

But before you decide, let’s unpack why you might want to hide it and why abortion might not fix what’s driving that feeling.

Why You Might Want to Hide It

Fear could be the spark—fear of judgment from family, friends, or a partner who won’t get it. Maybe you’re worried about how this changes your life: school, work, or dreams you’ve chased for years.

Shame might creep in, too, tied to what others might think or how you see yourself right now. Then there’s the practical side. Maybe money’s tight, or you’re just not ready. Hiding it feels like a shield, a way to dodge the fallout while you figure things out.

Abortion Won’t Solve the Root Issues

Abortion might seem like a quick fix to stay invisible, but it doesn’t untangle the overall issues underneath. If fear of judgment is the push, ending the pregnancy doesn’t heal what others might say later or how you’ll feel about it down the road. Those big life disruptions? They don’t vanish; they just shift.

Money worries or unreadiness might still linger, replaced by new questions about “what if.” And the emotional weight, shame, relief, or regret can stick around, even if no one else knows. Abortion changes the moment, not the reasons you want to hide.

You’ve Got Space to Breathe

You don’t have to stay in the shadows or rush a choice. There’s a way to face this without feeling cornered, and you’re not as stuck as it seems. Talking it out, getting accurate info, and finding support can shift the pressure off your shoulders.

Collage Is Here for You

At Collage, we get how heavy an unexpected pregnancy can feel. We offer free and confidential pregnancy services, such as pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, options information, and more, to help you sort through this situation without judgment.

You’re not alone, and you don’t have to hide. Contact us today for a safe space to figure out what’s next, and let’s start where you are.

What to Do When Friends and Family Are Pressuring You into an Abortion Decision

Wed, 02 Apr 2025 09:47:22 GMT

What do you do when those closest to you start pushing you toward a decision that doesn’t feel right? Pressure from family or friends to choose abortion can leave you feeling stuck, unheard, and unsure of what to do next.

How can you hold firm in your decision while dealing with well-meaning but overwhelming advice? Here’s what you can do to navigate this difficult situation with strength and resilience.

Mental Health and Pressure

Your decision should be your own—one that isn’t influenced by guilt or outside expectations. Studies show that women who feel pressured into abortion are more likely to experience guilt, anxiety, depression, and other negative mental health outcomes.

Protecting your mental and emotional health starts with making a choice that aligns with what you truly want.

Ways to Handle the Pressure

Since you understand why this decision needs to be yours, here are some practical steps to help you handle outside pressure.

Give Yourself Time

You don’t have to decide right away. Take a moment, think through your feelings, and give yourself the gift to reflect without feeling rushed. You're less likely to regret a decision made on your terms.

Learn About All Your Options

Abortion isn’t your only choice. Parenting and adoption are also possibilities, each with its own forms of support and resources. Learning more about these options can help you make an informed decision you feel at peace with.

Set Boundaries

It can be tough to stand your ground when others have strong opinions about your decision. Clearly expressing your thoughts by setting boundaries can help you avoid unwanted pressure. Letting others know you need time and space to think can help shift the conversation away from their influence and back to what’s best for you.

Advice from a Third Party

Getting a different perspective on your situation can be helpful when seeking advice from someone outside your inner circle.

This could be a professional counselor, an online support group, or a caring team member at Collage . You deserve people in your life who want to understand you without judgment.

You Are Not Alone

Even if those around you don’t fully understand, there are people who do. A supportive environment can make all the difference as you navigate this decision.

Collage is here to walk with you during this time. We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, pregnancy options information, and more at no cost so you can get informed and have the support you need to move forward with certainty.

Schedule a confidential appointment today.

The Role of Support Systems When Considering Abortion

Fri, 07 Mar 2025 04:55:37 GMT

Discovering you’re pregnant when you weren’t expecting can feel like the ground has shifted beneath you. A flood of questions may rush in. What do I do? Who can I talk to? How will this change my life?

In moments like these, having a strong support system can make all the difference. The people around you—family, friends, a partner, or trusted mentors—can provide clarity, encouragement, and resources to help you navigate your options.

Why Support Systems Matter

It’s easy to feel isolated during an unexpected pregnancy with high stress and emotions. However, decisions made in isolation can be overwhelming and may lead to regret.

Having a support system allows you to process your emotions, ask questions, and consider your next steps with a clear mind. Those who care about you can offer reassurance and help you explore the emotional, physical, and practical aspects of your decision.

Avoiding Pressure and Outside Influence

Unfortunately, some women experience pressure from their partner, family members, or even friends to make a decision they aren’t comfortable with. A healthy support system respects your right to make an informed choice without coercion.

If you’re feeling pressured, it’s essential to reach out to someone who will listen, not dictate. Support should come from those who uplift and empower you, not those who push you into a choice based on their preferences.

Seeking Reliable Information

It’s crucial to have access to accurate medical information about abortion, its risks, and its alternatives. A strong support system can help you connect with organizations (such as Collage ) that offer factual, judgment-free care.

You can also seek help from professional counselors or a mentor, but ultimately, surrounding yourself with people who prioritize your well-being can bring insight and peace of mind to your decision-making process.

We’re Here For You

At Collage, we understand how important support is when considering your options. We offer free and confidential pregnancy services, including lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, abortion information, and more so you can make an informed choice.

Even if you don’t feel you have a support system in your life, you have one with us. Reach out today to learn more about how we’re here for you.

Why Does an Ultrasound Matter if I’m Considering Abortion?

Thu, 13 Feb 2025 05:13:01 GMT

If you’re thinking about abortion, an ultrasound is a crucial step to gather essential information about your pregnancy. It provides key details that can help determine which options are available to you and ensures your health and safety as you make this important decision.

At Collage , we offer free limited OB ultrasounds to give you the clarity and support you need, as well as more information on your pregnancy options.

Ultrasounds During Pregnancy

An ultrasound is a diagnostic tool that uses sound waves to create detailed images of your body. These images provide vital insights into your pregnancy, helping you make an informed decision. Here are three critical pieces of information an ultrasound can reveal:

1. The Location of Your Pregnancy

An ultrasound can confirm if your pregnancy is located in the uterus. Sometimes, a pregnancy can implant outside the uterus, typically in a fallopian tube, resulting in an ectopic pregnancy.

An ectopic pregnancy is a serious condition that cannot result in a live birth and requires immediate medical attention to avoid a life-threatening situation. Even if you’re considering abortion, identifying an ectopic pregnancy through ultrasound is essential to protect your health.

2. How Far Along You Are (Gestational Age)

Understanding how far along you are is critical for determining which abortion options you can access.

For example, the abortion pill is FDA-approved only for pregnancies up to ten weeks gestation. If your pregnancy is further along, a surgical abortion would be the alternative option available, depending on the circumstances.

Period-tracking apps can estimate gestational age, but they lack the accuracy of an ultrasound, which can precisely date your pregnancy.

3. Whether Your Pregnancy Is Progressing

Not all pregnancies continue as expected—approximately 26% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. An ultrasound can detect if a miscarriage has occurred so you can follow up with the appropriate care plan.

Protect Your Health

As you can see, an ultrasound is an essential step in protecting your health and understanding your options. You deserve to make an informed and confident decision and the free limited OB ultrasounds Collage provides will help you to do just that.

Contact us today to schedule your appointment. Our care and support are designed to help you through this crucial time. Let us be a source of strength for you.

Has Nebraska Banned Abortion Completely After the 2024 Election?

Thu, 02 Jan 2025 13:19:34 GMT

Following the 2024 election, many people have questions about Nebraska's abortion laws and whether the state has enacted a complete ban.

Abortion is not entirely banned in Nebraska. A proposed measure to add abortion to the state constitution failed during the 2024 election, while a separate measure that enshrined the current 12-week ban passed.

What is the Law?

The state currently allows abortion up to 12 weeks but with specific exceptions for certain circumstances. These exceptions include:

Cases of rape or incest.
Medical emergencies where the life of the mother is at risk or where continuing the pregnancy would result in irreversible physical harm.
The legislation aims to balance restrictions with considerations for the health and safety of women under exceptional circumstances.

What Does This Mean for Women in Nebraska?

For women facing an unexpected pregnancy, Nebraska’s current abortion laws mean you have to be aware of the status of your pregnancy, especially for those who may not meet the legal exceptions. It’s important to seek timely medical confirmation of your pregnancy to understand your options.

If you are unsure about how far along you are or have concerns about your pregnancy, seeking an ultrasound and professional advice can help clarify your situation and determine your next steps.

Looking for Pregnancy Support?

If you’re navigating an unexpected pregnancy and need support, Collage is here to help. We offer no-cost pregnancy services, including pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, and information on your options in a compassionate and confidential environment.

Our team is dedicated to empowering women by providing accurate information and resources tailored to your needs. Although we do not perform or refer for abortion, we can give you medical-based details on this option and others. You don’t have to face this alone.

Contact Collage today to schedule your appointment and get the support you need during this time.

* All abortion information sourced in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.

Sharing Your Heart: How to Talk With Your Family When Considering Abortion

Wed, 04 Dec 2024 06:27:15 GMT

Sharing the news of an unexpected pregnancy with your family can feel overwhelming. You might be navigating a whirlwind of emotions—fear, uncertainty, or even guilt—while wondering how your loved ones will react.

While this conversation can be challenging, it can also open the door to support and understanding as you work through your decision. You can create an open and honest dialogue with the right preparation and approach.

Getting Ready To Share

Before speaking with your family, take time to learn about all your options—abortion, adoption, and parenting. Understanding each path's emotional and physical aspects can help you feel more confident and ready to address questions or concerns.

This knowledge will allow you to approach the discussion from an informed perspective, making it easier to express your thoughts and feelings. It also creates a foundation for your family to support you in a way that aligns with your needs and circumstances.

Breaking the News

Choosing the right time and place to share your pregnancy news can make a big difference. Select a moment when your family can focus on the conversation without distractions.

Opt for a comfortable and safe space, such as your home, or a neutral location, like a quiet coffee shop, where you can step away if emotions run high. Creating the right environment helps set the tone for a meaningful conversation.

Keep in mind that your family may initially react with shock or surprise. Give them time to process their feelings, and try to extend grace as they adjust. Revisiting the conversation after the initial emotions have settled can lead to deeper understanding and more productive discussions.

You Are Not Alone

No matter how your family responds, you don’t have to face this alone. Collage is here to support you as you navigate an unexpected pregnancy.

We provide no-cost pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, and a safe space to explore your options with compassion and care. Our team is here to listen, offer help, and walk with you during this critical time.

Schedule a no-cost appointment today, and let us support you through this decision-making process.

3 Things Needed Before Abortion

Tue, 05 Nov 2024 11:50:05 GMT

When an unexpected pregnancy leads you to consider abortion, it can be hard to know where to start or what’s necessary. However, before making a decision, you can take three essential steps to ensure your health and safety.

Collage offers the following services at no cost, providing you with the care and answers you need during this critical time.

Pregnancy Testing

You don’t have to rely on ambiguous pregnancy signs or symptoms. Pregnancy testing is an accurate way to get answers. While at-home tests can provide an initial indication of pregnancy, a lab-quality pregnancy test can be more reliable.

Collage offers no-cost lab-quality pregnancy testing, ensuring you get the accuracy you can depend on. This first step helps to rule out possible uncertainties before moving forward.

Limited OB Ultrasound

An ultrasound confirms key details about your pregnancy, including how far along you are (gestational age), if there’s a heartbeat, and where the pregnancy is located.

Knowing the gestational age helps determine what options are available, and the location of your pregnancy is equally important. If the pregnancy is ectopic —developing outside the uterus—it requires immediate medical attention.

At Collage, you can receive a no-cost limited OB ultrasound to obtain this vital information before making any decisions.

STD Testing and Treatment

If you're considering an abortion, it's essential to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) . Untreated STDs can cause additional complications during an abortion, such as pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) , which can lead to serious health issues like chronic pain and infertility.

Collage provides no-cost STD testing and treatment for chlamydia and gonorrhea, ensuring your health is protected and any infections are addressed before moving forward.

Take The First Step

Before making a decision, it’s important to take these steps to safeguard your health. Collage offers no-cost pregnancy testing, ultrasounds, and STD testing to give you the clarity and care you deserve.

Collage does not provide or refer for abortions.

What Are the Signs of an Incomplete Abortion?

Thu, 19 Sep 2024 05:24:40 GMT

Identifying the signs of complications from an incomplete abortion is crucial to preventing further issues. You must proactively seek medical attention at the first indication that something isn’t right.

Explore the warning signs of an incomplete abortion below. If you have any questions or concerns, consider scheduling a no-cost appointment with one of our licensed medical professionals today.

If you experience any of the symptoms listed below after an abortion, please contact your healthcare provider or seek emergency medical care immediately.

What is an Incomplete Abortion?

An incomplete abortion, also known as " retained products of conception " (RPOC), occurs when fetal or placental tissue remains in the uterus after an elective abortion or miscarriage. If not properly treated, this condition can result in serious complications, including severe infection and heavy bleeding.

It’s essential to monitor your health closely and seek medical care if you notice any warning signs of an incomplete abortion.

What To Look For

Vaginal bleeding is the most common sign of an incomplete abortion. Heavy bleeding or blood clots after pregnancy could indicate a problem. Heavy bleeding can be described as soaking two or more pads an hour for two hours in a row.

Other symptoms to be aware of include:

Fever.
Hypomenorrhea (light or infrequent menstrual periods).
Infection.
Pelvic pain.

What To Do

If you suspect an incomplete abortion, it's vital to seek immediate medical attention. A healthcare provider will conduct tests to confirm the diagnosis, often including a transvaginal ultrasound.

Treatment options for an incomplete abortion may include medication or surgery. Your health is the top priority, and it's essential to trust your instincts. If you experience any concerning symptoms, don't hesitate to visit your local emergency room.

Free Pregnancy Services

If you’re dealing with an unexpected pregnancy, you can find many resources at Collage. We provide no-cost pregnancy services to help you feel equipped to navigate your situation.

We offer free lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, and STD testing and treatment so you can protect your health and get critical details about your pregnancy.

Make a free appointment to talk with one of our team today.

What Are the Mental Health Effects of Abortion?

Thu, 29 Aug 2024 06:02:29 GMT

When considering an abortion, it's essential to acknowledge both your physical and mental health. While you may already be familiar with the physical risks of abortion, understanding the mental health effects is equally important.

An abortion can bring a range of emotions , from relief to guilt, loss, and sadness, and it's crucial to recognize and address these feelings.

Every woman's experience is unique, and the emotional impact can vary widely. Acknowledging your mental health is an essential step in caring for yourself during this time.

We’ill explore the potential mental health effects of abortion and provide resources to help you manage your emotional well-being.

Feeling Pressure

A study by the Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons reported that 75% of women who had an abortion felt at least subtly pressured into getting one. Of these women, many reported negative mental health outcomes afterward, including feelings of:

Worthlessness
Being unworthy of love
Low self-esteem
Anxiety
Shame
Guilt
Regret
Self-hatred

What this means is feeling pressured to make your decision is one of the most significant risk factors for experiencing negative mental health outcomes. You can prioritize your health by making sure this decision is yours.

Other Risk Factors

Another thing to look out for when you’re considering abortion is any risk factors that would make you susceptible to mental health issues.

Some of these pre-existing factors that can contribute to an issue after an abortion include:

Having a history of prior mental illness
Having moral or religious beliefs that conflict with abortion
Having a maternal desire to have children now or in the future

Mental Health Risks

Study findings also show abortion is associated with higher rates of various mental health issues, including:

Anxiety
Depression
Substance use
Traumatic symptoms
Sleep disorders

Get Support

You don’t have to go through an unexpected pregnancy alone. Collage provides free pregnancy services such as pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, and more to help you feel equipped.

We also offer after-abortion support for women who’ve undergone an abortion procedure. You can find healing and support through us.

Reach out to us to request a no-cost and confidential appointment today.

*All abortion information sourced in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.

What Are the Different Types of Abortion?

Wed, 07 Aug 2024 08:58:30 GMT

We understand the decision concerning abortion is complex and personal. Knowing the different types of abortion procedures is essential for making informed decisions about your health. In this blog, we'll cover the various methods available to help you gather information about your situation.

Learning about these procedures can help you better protect your health and make the right choice for you.

Medical Abortion

A medical abortion is the process of using drugs to end a pregnancy. Commonly referred to as the “abortion pill,” a medical abortion actually uses two drugs: mifepristone and misoprostol.

Mifepristone works by blocking the hormone progesterone. 24-48 hours later, you would then take misoprostol to cause uterine contractions and expel the pregnancy from the vagina.

Medical abortion is only FDA-approved through ten weeks gestation (how far along you are). These drugs are typically prescribed at a clinic and taken at home.

If you have a medical abortion, you will have vaginal bleeding and abdominal cramping. You may also experience fever, chills, headache, diarrhea, nausea, or vomiting.

The risks of medical abortion include:

Infection
Digestive system discomfort
Heavy, prolonged bleeding
Fever
An ongoing pregnancy (if the procedure fails)
An incomplete abortion (which may need to be followed by a surgical abortion)

Surgical Abortion

A surgical abortion uses a combination of drugs, medical instruments, suction/vacuuming, or forceps to remove a pregnancy from the uterus.

Surgical abortions are performed in a clinic setting or hospital later in pregnancy. You will likely spend a few hours afterward in a recovery room to check for excessive bleeding and complications.

The risks of a surgical abortion include:

Infection
Damage to the cervix
Scar tissue on the uterine wall (which can lead to absent, painful periods or future infertility)
Perforation of the uterus

Before Seeking An Abortion

It’s crucial to get informed not only about the risks abortion can pose to your health but also detailed information about your pregnancy and status. There are a variety of circumstances where you might not be eligible for an abortion.

At Collage, we offer free and confidential pregnancy services, such as lab-quality pregnancy testing and limited OB ultrasounds, because we believe you deserve to have access to the information you need to protect your health.

You’re not alone in this. We’re here for you. Make an appointment today.

What Are the Mental Health Effects of Abortion?

Thu, 01 Aug 2024 09:24:16 GMT

While not in every case, abortion can lead to various mental health challenges, including anxiety, guilt, and depression for some women.

Coping with your emotions after an abortion can be extremely difficult, and many women seek healing and peace after their abortion experience.

If you’re considering an abortion, it's essential to understand the potential emotional risks and how they might impact your daily life. If you’ve already had an abortion and are struggling, know that you’re not alone. Seeking the support you need is crucial in overcoming these challenges and finding a path to recovery.

Knowing The Risks

The Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons reported that nearly 75% of women who had an abortion felt at least subtly pressured into the decision. Feeling pressured is a significant risk factor for experiencing negative mental health issues.

Many of the women studied experienced psychological effects afterward, including:

Depression
Anxiety
Shame
Guilt
Feelings of worthlessness
Self-destructive behaviors

These are just some of the potential adverse mental health outcomes that can happen post-abortion. However, every woman’s experience and reaction is different.

Find Support

Collage offers after-abortion support designed to help you on your path to healing. By taking advantage of Collage's support programs, you can find the understanding and compassion needed to navigate this difficult time and work towards a place of peace and recovery.

Whether you’re dealing with the effects of an abortion experience or have just discovered you are unexpectedly pregnant, know that there’s hope. You don’t have to do this alone.

Collage offers free pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, STD testing and treatment, and after-abortion support. We’re here to help you understand your options and get the services you need when facing pregnancy.

Is Abortion or Adoption Right for Me?

Wed, 26 Jun 2024 12:43:40 GMT

If you’re unexpectedly pregnant, you may have been reviewing your options and ruled out parenting as a choice. There are still two paths you can take: abortion and adoption. It’s essential to understand each one to safeguard your health and well-being.

This is a big decision; you don’t have to make it alone. Talk with us at Collage. We can help you get informed so you can make a confident choice about your pregnancy.

What You Need To Know About Abortion

Abortion is the process of terminating a viable pregnancy. In all of its forms, it’s a serious medical procedure and comes with physical risks to your health that you should be aware of.

There are two types of abortions: medical and surgical.

Medical abortion uses drugs to end a pregnancy. It’s typically done at home and earlier in pregnancy, as it’s only FDA-approved through ten weeks gestation (how far along you are).

The risks of a medical abortion include:

Incomplete abortion, which may need to be followed by surgical abortion
An ongoing pregnancy if the procedure doesn't work
Heavy and prolonged bleeding
Infection
Fever
Digestive system discomfort

A surgical abortion uses a combination of medication, scraping instruments, suction, and other medical instruments to remove a pregnancy and its related tissue from the uterus. It’s performed later in pregnancy and in a hospital or clinic setting.

The risks of a surgical abortion include:

Uterine perforation (this occurs when one of the medical instruments pokes a hole in your uterus)
Uterine scarring, which can lead to painful or absent periods as well as future infertility
Cervical damage
Infection

The Facts About Adoption

Adoption is the process of giving your parental rights to another family who wants a child. While adoption requires you to carry your pregnancy to term, you avoid the medical risks an abortion can have.

You may also be able to pick the family you want to adopt your child, as well as get financial and material assistance for pregnancy-related expenses.

You’re in control of your adoption plan. There are three types you can choose from:

Open Adoption: This is the most common type of adoption and allows you and the adoptive family to communicate freely with one another.
Semi-Open Adoption: You can choose whether to exchange identifying information about yourself. This plan allows you to communicate with the adoptive parents through a third party, such as an attorney or adoption agency.
Closed Adoption: Details about you are protected and cannot be disclosed to the child or adoptive family. This adoption plan ensures complete privacy and confidentiality, and no contact is maintained.

Adoption isn’t “giving up your child.” It’s about making a selfless choice to place your child in a loving family and giving your child a bright future.

Discuss Your Options

Collage provides no-cost pregnancy services and a safe and confidential space to discuss your pregnancy options.

We’re here to support you in making the decision that’s right for you.

Request an appointment today.

What Are the Immediate Physical Risks of Abortion?

Tue, 28 May 2024 09:57:56 GMT

Chances are, if you're reading this, you're walking through a time of significant decision-making. If abortion is an option you're considering, it's critical to learn all you can about how it works and the risks to ensure you're making a fully informed decision.

This article will highlight the essentials you need to know about abortion and the potential immediate risks. But if you’re looking to talk to someone about your pregnancy options or learn more about free support resources, contact Collage today to schedule a free, confidential appointment.

How Does Abortion Work?

There are two types of abortion: medical and surgical.

Medical abortion relies on taking medication to induce abortion. The most common is the abortion pill, which uses a combination of two drugs. The first drug, mifepristone, blocks the progesterone hormone that is needed for a pregnancy to continue, which ultimately results in the embryo’s death. The second drug, misoprostol, causes your uterus to contract, expelling the pregnancy out of your vagina.

Surgical abortion is the process of dilating (opening up) your cervix so that medical instruments can enter your uterus to terminate and remove the pregnancy. Earlier in pregnancy, suction and scraping tools are used, while later in pregnancy, forceps are used to remove fetal parts.

What Are the Risks of Abortion?

Abortion, like any medical or surgical procedure, carries several different risks. Due to the fact that many women don’t report their abortion, there is limited information about complications, but the resources available report some of the following risks and side effects:

Medical Abortion:

• Incomplete or failed abortion

• Heavy and prolonged bleeding

• Undiagnosed ectopic pregnancy

• Infection

• Fever

• Nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea

Surgical Abortion:

• Incomplete abortion

• Bleeding

• Infection

• Organ damage

How Can I Protect My Health?

No matter what option you’re considering, an ultrasound is the only way to confirm if a pregnancy is viable, meaning it’s located in the uterus (not ectopic) and if a heartbeat can be detected. It also lets you know exactly how far along your pregnancy is. This is important to determine which type of abortion would be an option for you.

At Collage, we offer free, limited ultrasounds because we believe you deserve to have access to the information you need to protect your health. If your pregnancy test is positive at our center, after a brief medical assessment, we’ll determine if we can offer you an ultrasound.

Beyond Filters and Avatars

Fri, 19 Apr 2024 00:30:00 GMT

The Pursuit of Authenticity in Gen Z Dating

Let's talk about dating in our world, where filters and avatars dominate the scene. We're navigating a realm where authenticity sometimes feels like a rare gem in an ocean of perfectly captured profiles and staged moments. But fear not—we're on a quest together for something real, something genuine—an authentic connection.

First, let's address the stats. According to a study by Hinge, a whopping 44% of us admit to having little to no dating experience. And over half of us—56% to be exact—have let the fear of rejection hold us back from seizing potential opportunities for connection. Sound familiar? It's a common struggle, but it doesn't have to define dating experiences. 1

So, what does authentic, focused Gen Z dating look like? Well, it's about going beyond the surface. It's about ditching the filters—both literal and metaphorical—and embracing our true selves. It's about recognizing that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength and that genuine connections are built on honesty and openness.

Sure, we live in a world where swiping left or right is the norm and where TikTok trends shape our perceptions of romance. But amidst the noise, we're carving out our own path. We're rejecting the notion that love should fit into a neat little box and celebrating our individuality.

Remember, it's okay to have little dating experience. We're all learning and growing; there's no rush to figure it out. And as for the fear of rejection? It's a natural part of putting ourselves out there, but it shouldn't hold us back from pursuing what we want.

In a society that often prioritizes image over substance, let's be the ones who dare to be real. Let's have conversations that go beyond small talk and surface-level banter. Let's show up as our genuine selves, flaws and all because that's where true connections are formed.

So, whether you're swiping on dating apps or meeting someone new in real life, remember this: authenticity is your superpower. Embrace it, own it, and watch your relationships become richer and more fulfilling.

Together, let's go beyond false fronts and move towards genuine connection. When we strip away the pretense and reveal our true selves, that's when the magic happens. Are you ready to pursue authenticity in dating?

Facing the Facts: Understanding Potential Exposures to STDs

Fri, 05 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMT

Let's have an honest talk about something crucial but often overlooked: understanding potential exposures to sexually transmitted diseases, sometimes referred to as infections (STD/STIs).

Have you ever wondered, "How many people have I really been exposed to?" It's a valid question, especially when it comes to protecting your sexual health. You might assume that since you've only had sex with a few partners, you haven't been exposed much. But the reality is more complex than that.

It's easy to underestimate how quickly potential exposures can add up. Even if you've only had a few partners, each person you're exposed to has a unique sexual history.

The potential for indirect exposure from your partners can quickly grow. This is a sobering thought, but it highlights the importance of knowing your status and how to prevent exposure.

Here’s a tool to learn the number of possible exposures you’ve had:

https://collegestats.org/interactives/sexual-exposure-calculator .

So, how can you use this information to protect yourself?

Recognize that the most effective method of preventing STDs entirely is to refrain from sexual activity. Additionally, being in a mutually monogamous relationship, like marriage, will ensure you won’t contract an STD.

Understand that communication is key. Statistics reveal that individuals aged 15 to 24 represent 50% of all new STD cases, stressing the importance of honest discussions with your partners about sexual history and making informed decisions regarding your sexual health. 1

Get tested. The CDC recommends getting tested annually if you aren’t in a mutually monogamous relationship, meaning you or your partner have had other partner(s). 2 Many STDs don't show symptoms right away, so you might not even know you're infected. Getting tested can help you detect infections early and get the treatment you need.

At Collage, we offer testing and treatment for both chlamydia and gonorrhea at no cost to you. We want to do what we can to equip you to make informed decisions because together, we can reduce the spread of sexually transmitted diseases and live healthier lives.

Throat Troubles: Could You Actually Have an STD?

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMT

When it comes to sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), also known as sexually transmitted infections (STIs), we often think about specific areas of the body, but what about the throat? Can you get an STD there? And if you're concerned, where can you turn for help? Let's dive into the details.

Can You Get an STD in Your Throat?

The short answer is yes, you can. STDs like chlamydia, gonorrhea, and even syphilis can infect the throat through oral sex. Although it's less common than a genital infection, it's still a possibility, especially if protection wasn't used during oral sex.

How Do You Know If You Have an STD in Your Throat?

Symptoms of an STD in the throat can vary, but they might include a sore throat, swollen glands, difficulty swallowing, or even white patches or sores in the mouth or throat. However, it's essential to remember that some people with throat infections may not experience symptoms, making testing crucial for accurate diagnosis . 1

Do You Need Testing and Treatment?

If you're worried about an STD in your throat, it's essential to seek testing and treatment promptly. Left untreated, throat infections can lead to complications and potentially spread to other body areas. The good news is that STDs in the throat can typically be treated with antibiotics prescribed by a healthcare provider.

Where Do I Go?

At Collage, we understand that seeking help for sensitive issues like this can feel daunting. That's why our licensed healthcare providers offer support and care in a confidential and non-judgmental environment. And our services, including STD testing and treatment for gonorrhea and chlamydia, are available to you at no cost.

When you visit Collage, you can trust that your privacy is our priority. Our staff is committed to providing compassionate care while ensuring you feel comfortable and supported throughout your visit.

If you’re concerned about a possible STD, don’t hesitate to reach out. We’re here to help!

When the Pregnancy Test Says No, But Your Body Says Yes

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 01:00:00 GMT

How Can You Have a Missed Period but a Negative Test?
Discovering you might be pregnant can trigger a whirlwind of emotions, from excitement to apprehension. But what happens when you experience symptoms of pregnancy but your test results come back negative? This perplexing situation can leave anyone feeling confused and uncertain about their reproductive health.

In this blog, we'll explore the complexities of experiencing pregnancy symptoms with negative test results, investigate potential reasons behind missed periods, and offer guidance on prioritizing reproductive health.

Cracking the Code on Negative Pregnancy Tests
So, you peed on the stick, and it came back negative...but you missed your period. Well, first off, breathe. It could mean a couple of things. Maybe it's too early for the test to detect the pregnancy hormone, or you may not even be pregnant.

Understanding Reasons for Missed Periods
Okay, so if you're not pregnant, where's your period hiding? It turns out there are tons of reasons why it's late without being pregnant: 1

Sudden Weight Changes
Ovarian Cysts
Hormone Levels from Metabolic Conditions
Recent Illness
Stress
Thyroid Conditions
Specific Birth Control Methods/Medications
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)

What's Next?
Instead of going into full-on panic mode, it's time to take charge. A great first step if you’ve missed your period is to reach out to Collage . We can provide a free lab-quality pregnancy test for you. If it’s positive, we can look into the possibility of offering you a limited OB ultrasound to help you know how far along you are and if it’s a viable pregnancy. If it’s negative, you can schedule an appointment with a doctor to figure out what's up.

Knowledge is Power

Missed periods and negative pregnancy tests might throw you for a loop, but you have the power to figure out what's going on. You're owning your wellness by understanding what could be happening and taking action to stay on top of your health.

We’re here for you if you need us.

Adapting to the Unseen

Fri, 16 Feb 2024 01:00:00 GMT

Gen Z's Resilience in a Changing World

In a world marked by rapid changes and unforeseen challenges, the resilience and adaptability of Generation Z have emerged as powerful tools for overcoming obstacles and shaping a brighter future.

Gen Z, born between 1997-2012, is navigating an era of technological advancements, socio-political transformations, and global uncertainties. This unique history contributes to their ability to navigate change with innovation and an unwavering determination to transform challenges into opportunities.

Embracing Change in a Dynamic World

Gen Z is no stranger to a rapidly evolving world. From the advent of the internet to the challenges posed by the COVID-19 pandemic, this generation has faced circumstances that demanded quick thinking and adaptability.

Rather than succumbing to the pressure, Gen Z has demonstrated an impressive ability to embrace change, leveraging technology and interconnectedness to their advantage.

Digital Natives: Turning Challenges into Opportunities

Their comfort with technology has not only allowed them to stay connected in times of crisis but has also helped them harness the power of innovation. The ability to turn challenges into opportunities is critical to Gen Z's approach as they walk through a world of uncertainty and boundless potential.

A Global Perspective: Building Bridges Amidst Diversity

One of the defining characteristics of Gen Z is their global perspective. With access to information from around the world, this generation is acutely aware of international issues and the interconnectedness of our global community. This awareness fosters empathy, understanding, and a collective effort to address challenges on a broader scale.

Mental Health Advocacy: Breaking Stigmas and Building Resilience

Gen Z has been at the forefront of being open about conversations around mental health. Rather than shying away from discussions about well-being, they have boldly addressed the challenges they face, emphasizing the importance of mental health.

The resilience and adaptability demonstrated by Generation Z are not merely survival tactics but powerful tools for creating positive change. As they navigate the present challenges and anticipate those of the future, Gen Z stands as a testament to the strength that arises from facing adversity with determination and hope. By harnessing their unique qualities, Generation Z not only shapes their own narratives but contributes significantly to building a brighter, more compassionate world for future generations.

At Collage, we believe that everyone has a special beauty and value. Seeing this worth hidden beneath past decisions and life's challenges is hard. Despite the difficulties, the truth is clear — beauty, value, and worth endure, waiting to be discovered. For Generation Z, these lasting qualities aren't just personal victories but important contributions to making the world a better and more caring place for future generations.

Whether you're in need of a pregnancy test, ultrasound, pregnancy options information, after-abortion help, or STD testing/treatment, we're here for you in the midst of life's struggles. Our genuine care extends to supporting you through every step, ensuring you have the resources and understanding you need during these pivotal moments.

We Answered The Top 5 Most-Googled Questions About Abortions

Fri, 02 Feb 2024 01:00:00 GMT

In a world where reproductive choices are deeply personal and often accompanied by a range of emotions, seeking information is crucial. Abortion, being one of the most debated and sensitive topics, generates numerous questions.

In this blog, our aim is to provide clear and unbiased answers to the top five questions asked about abortion, understanding the importance of informed decision-making, and the complexities surrounding this deeply personal choice.

What Are the Different Types of Abortion?
There are two categories of abortion: medical and surgical. Abortion procedures vary depending on the gestational age of the pregnancy.

In the early stages, medication abortion is commonly used, involving the use of medications to terminate the pregnancy. The primary medical abortions are RU486 (abortion pill) and Online Abortion Pill (Plan C).

Surgical abortion is another option, which may be performed in any trimester, depending on the state where it’s performed. Suction Aspiration and Dilation and Evacuation (D&E) are the main kinds of surgical abortion. To learn more about these different types, please read our blog: Abortion...Before You Decide .

How Safe is an Abortion?
Any medical or surgical procedure has potential risks. Some risks with an abortion include heavy bleeding, cramping, nausea, infection, tissue retention from an incomplete procedure, and an inability to carry future pregnancies in the case of organ damage.

Is Abortion Legal?
Abortion laws differ worldwide and can vary regionally within countries. Currently, in the United States, since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022, states can now regulate abortion. Because of this, each state has different laws and regulations.

In many states, abortion is lawful within defined gestational limits and under particular circumstances. The Guttmacher Institute has an interactive map that provides information on each state's regulations.

Are There Emotional Risks With an Abortion?

As with any significant life event, the impact on a person can differ significantly. There may be enduring emotional, relational, or mental health effects from an abortion. Some women connect clinical depression and anxiety, substance use, alcohol abuse, suicidal thoughts or behaviors, and PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) to their abortion experience.

Scientific evidence points to a higher likelihood of negative psychological outcomes compared to either miscarriage or carrying an unexpected pregnancy to term. Specific research suggests that couples who choose abortion may encounter relationship issues associated with the procedure.

How Can I Make an Informed Decision About Abortion?

Making an informed decision about abortion involves gathering accurate information, considering personal values and circumstances, and consulting with healthcare professionals.

It's crucial to seek support from reliable sources, such as healthcare providers and counselors, that prioritize providing information and guidance to empower individuals to make decisions that align with their unique situations.

We understand the decision concerning abortion is complex and personal. If you or a loved one are facing this decision, we want you to know we’re here for you.

Even in the midst of what can be a scary situation, you deserve to allow yourself time to gather as much information as possible to figure out what your next best step may look like. At Collage, we care about your mental and physical health, which is why we offer free resources and services to help you feel supported and informed.

Looking for more information on Abortion? Check out more of our blogs:

We Answered The Top 5 Most-Googled Questions About Pregnancy

Fri, 19 Jan 2024 00:15:00 GMT

Suspecting or finding out that you’re pregnant can be an exciting but also overwhelming experience. You may find yourself Googling the best time to take a pregnancy test or how your body is about to change. Just like last month’s post on STDs & STI’s , we're here to answer the top 5 most-searched questions about pregnancy. Just remember, our purpose here is to help you stay informed, but if you think you might be pregnant it’s always best to reach out to your healthcare provider.

How Do Home Pregnancy Tests Work, And When Can I Take One?

This is one of the most common questions, and understandably so. The timing of a pregnancy test is key for ensuring an accurate result. Generally, you can take a home pregnancy test about 1 week after a missed period, although some tests can offer results even sooner. Pregnancy tests work by detecting a hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG for short), which is released when a fertilized egg attaches to your uterine wall.Your body doesn’t make this hormone if you’re not pregnant. For the most accurate result, test first thing in the morning and avoid drinking too much water before the test so as not to dilute the HCG in your urine. At Collage, we offer lab-quality pregnancy tests at no cost to our clients.

What Are the Early Signs of Pregnancy?

Early signs of pregnancy can vary from woman to woman, but some common indicators include:

Missed menstrual period
Breast tenderness
Nausea or “morning sickness”
Fatigue
Frequent urination
Mood swings
Food aversions or cravings

It's important to note that these symptoms can also have other causes, so a pregnancy test is the most reliable way to confirm.

What Should I Eat (or Avoid) During Pregnancy?

Nutrition is crucial during pregnancy. You should focus on a well-balanced diet that includes:

Fruits and vegetables
Whole grains
Lean proteins
Dairy or dairy alternatives

Additionally, it's best to avoid certain foods like raw fish, unpasteurized dairy products, excessive caffeine, and alcohol. Consult with your healthcare provider for personalized dietary recommendations based on your health history and pregnancy progress.

How Much Weight Should I Gain During Pregnancy?

The appropriate weight gain during pregnancy varies depending on factors such as your pre-pregnancy weight and health. In general:

Underweight women may need to gain more weight.
Normal-weight women may aim for 25-35 pounds.
Overweight women may need to gain less weight.

Your healthcare provider will monitor your weight throughout the pregnancy and provide guidance based on your individual needs. 1

What Exercises Are Safe During Pregnancy?

Staying active during pregnancy is beneficial and may help you have a smoother delivery, but it's important to choose sensible exercises. Generally, low-impact activities like walking, swimming, and prenatal yoga are safe choices. Avoid activities with a high risk of falling or injury, and listen to your body, modifying or stopping exercises if you experience discomfort. Of course, always consult with your healthcare provider before starting any new exercise routine. 2

While the internet can provide valuable information, it's essential to consult with your healthcare provider for personalized advice based on your specific circumstances. If you have any concerns or questions, don't hesitate to reach out to your friends here at Collage. Whether you need a reliable pregnancy test, an ultrasound to determine the viability of the pregnancy, or just want someone to talk to, we’re here for you.

Human Trafficking Prevention Month

Fri, 05 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMT

Note: If you feel like you're in immediate danger or know someone who is, please call emergency services or your local law enforcement.

When we hear the words “sex trafficking,” it’s easy for dramatic scenes of kidnapping by strangers and crossing international borders to come to mind, such as those in popular movies like “Taken” and “Sound of Freedom.” While sex trafficking can happen this way, it’s far more common to begin with subtle grooming, a form of emotional manipulation, by a person who claims to care for you. In 2020, 42% of victims were trafficked by a member of their own families, and 39% were recruited through an intimate partner or a marriage proposition. This tactic is even more insidious because the victim may not realize that they’re being trafficked for a very long time and even feel a sense of loyalty to their trafficker.

Our relationships should lift us up, not leave us vulnerable to manipulation and abuse. So, in honor of Human Trafficking Prevention Month, we’re helping our readers spot the red flags that may mean your partner is using you for sex trafficking.

Decoding Manipulation

Traffickers often work to gain their victims’ trust, make them financially dependent, and convince them that sex work is normal and necessary. Once this dynamic is established, the victim ends up cooperating in their own exploitation, thinking they have made the choice to do so independently.

Emotional Manipulation: Your partner might use emotional tricks to keep you under their thumb. Look out for signs like extreme jealousy, guilt-trips that never end, or them trying to cut you off from friends and family.

Love Bombing: At the beginning of a relationship, some people go all-out with affection and gifts to make you feel like you need them in your life. This is a trick to make you bond with and trust them more quickly than you normally would.

Gaslighting: This is when they make you doubt your feelings and sanity. They might brush off your concerns or tell you you're "crazy" for suspecting them. We actually have an entire post about gaslighting, which you’re welcome to read here .

Spotting Signs of Sex Trafficking

Total Control: Traffickers want control over every bit of your life – your money, your routine, and who you see. You may feel like you have zero say in anything.

Isolation: Traffickers aim to cut you off from friends, family, and anyone who might help you. They might discourage you from seeing your loved ones or going to social events.

Pressured into Sex Work: You are being pushed or forced to work in the sex industry against your will. This could include escort services, prostitution, or other sex work. This may seem casual at first, where your partner may pressure you into performing sexual favors for his friends or say you must do this work to help financially support the two of you.

Finances: Traffickers usually have a tight grip on your earnings, making you dependent on them for survival. They may say that you owe them a debt or make up complex financial schemes that make it challenging for you to understand how much you owe.

Abuse: Victims often go through physical violence, emotional torture, and threats if they try to escape the situation.

Tattoos or “Branding”: Some traffickers use tattoos or marks to show that you're "theirs."

Seeking Support

Realizing you're in a manipulative or trafficking situation is a brave step towards taking your life back. You deserve a relationship that respects your freedom, safety, and happiness. If something feels off in your relationship, don't ignore that feeling. If your partner's actions make you uneasy, don't brush it aside. Share your worries with a close friend, family member, or counselor you're comfortable with for an outsider’s perspective. They can be a rock of support. 1

Consider reaching out to a helpline or a local organization that's skilled in helping people in your situation. In the U.S., you can call the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 1-888-373-7888 . These professionals can help you make a plan that keeps you safe.

Recognizing manipulation and sex trafficking in a relationship is incredibly difficult, but you're not alone. By understanding the signs, trusting your gut, and reaching out for help, you're taking control of your life and working toward a brighter, safer future. Remember, you deserve happiness and freedom, and there are people and organizations ready to help you reclaim your life.

Embracing Self-Compassion, Forgiveness, and Beauty

Fri, 22 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMT

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Grace. She was kind, always had time for others, and seemed to love life. Every once in a while, one of her friends would catch a glimpse of sadness in Grace's eyes; they would ask if she was okay, and Grace would mumble something about a heavy suitcase.

You see, Grace was dragging around an old suitcase with a broken wheel filled with rocks. As Grace had doubts and made mistakes, more rocks would fill the bag.

One day, Grace met a traveler with a suitcase behind him. Grace asked if his was as heavy as hers. He replied, "It's as light as a feather." Grace was puzzled by this: How can that be? The traveler asked Grace if she loved herself. When she hesitated, she immediately felt her suitcase become heavier.

He encouraged her to start replacing her rocks with feathers. "How do I do that?" asked Grace. "Take your negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. When you look in the mirror and are unhappy, pause and say I love this person. If you make a mistake, focus on what you can learn instead of talking down to yourself."

Grace left, determined to turn her rocks into feathers. Some days were more challenging than others, but over time, she felt her suitcase lighten. As her bag became easier to carry, she started talking to her friends and family, asking them about their baggage. And so, the simple acts of forgiveness and compassion created a powerful ripple of transformation.

Much like Grace, we all carry around our own "baggage." Whether our suitcase is filled with self-doubt, unforgiveness, or shame, that weight can cast shadows on us. So, how can you start your journey towards self-compassion, forgiveness, and the creation of beauty from life's surprises?

Understanding Self-Compassion:

Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to a friend facing a similar struggle.
It is not about self-pity but about acknowledging our pain and challenges without judgment.

Embracing Imperfection:

Life is unpredictable, and everyone faces unexpected turns. Embracing imperfection is the first step towards self-compassion.
Acknowledging that mistakes and challenges are a part of the human experience allows for a more forgiving perspective.

Cultivating Mindfulness:

Mindfulness is key to self-compassion. Being present in the moment, without dwelling on the past or fearing the future, can alleviate stress and anxiety.
Techniques such as meditation and deep breathing can aid in developing a pause when we start to feel overwhelmed or insecure.

Understanding Forgiveness:

Forgiveness is not condoning the actions of others or forgetting past events; it is a gift to oneself, releasing the burden of resentment.
Letting go of anger and resentment is a powerful step towards personal freedom.

Forgiving Others and Yourself:

Forgiveness is a two-way street. While forgiving those who may have contributed to your struggles is essential, self-forgiveness is equally crucial.
Understand that everyone makes mistakes, and forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.

Breaking the Cycle:

Forgiveness breaks the cycle of negativity and fosters an environment for personal growth.
By forgiving, you create space for positive energy and open the door to new possibilities.

Remember, simple acts of forgiveness and compassion can create a powerful ripple of transformation. As you embark on this journey, be patient with yourself. Celebrate the progress, no matter how small, and embrace the beauty that unfolds when we treat ourselves with the same kindness we readily offer to others. The road to self-compassion is an ongoing adventure—one that leads to the discovery of inner strength, resilience, and a profound sense of beauty amid life's unexpected twists.

We Answered The Top 5 Most-Googled Questions About STDs

Fri, 08 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMT

Sexually transmitted diseases and infections (STDs/STIs) are surprisingly commonplace in the United States. In fact, the CDC reports that about 1 in 5 American adults has an STD. 1 With such a common yet personal concern, it's understandable that many turn to Google with their questions. In this post, we're here to provide answers to the top 5 most common searches about STDs/STIs. Our aim is to provide you with accurate, friendly advice so you can stay informed and make responsible decisions about your health, which will, in turn, impact your future. But remember, it’s best to consult with your healthcare provider and get tested if you suspect you’ve been exposed. You deserve to be the healthiest you possible!

What are STDs, and how do they spread?

Sexually transmitted diseases, also known as sexually transmitted infections (STIs), are a group of infections primarily spread through sexual contact. They can be caused by bacteria, viruses, or parasites. Common STDs include chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, HPV, and HIV. These infections can be transmitted through vaginal, anal, or oral sex, as well as close genital contact. Some can even be spread through contact with infected blood or needles, while others can also be transmitted from mother to child during pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding. 1

What are the symptoms of STDs?

STDs can come with a wide range of symptoms, but here's the catch: many people with STDs don't show any symptoms at all. The CDC reports over 90 percent of people with chlamydia and gonorrhea don’t have symptoms. This is why regular testing is crucial; it helps detect and treat infections early. Symptoms may include:

Unusual genital discharge

Odor

Pain or burning during urination

Genital sores or ulcers

Itching or discomfort in the genital area

Rashes or warts on or around the genitals

Swollen lymph nodes

Flu-like symptoms (fever, fatigue, body aches) 2

Remember, some STDs can lurk silently in your body without showing any symptoms at all, which is why the CDC encourages annual testing for sexually active people who aren’t in a mutually monogamous relationship.

How can I protect myself from STDs?

Refrain from sexual activity which is the only 100% effective way to avoid exposure to STDs/STIs.
Be in a mutually monogamous relationship, like marriage.
Have open and honest conversations with any sexual partner. Discuss your sexual health and consider getting tested together before engaging in sexual activities.
Keep in mind that although condoms do provide some protection, several STDs can still be acquired through skin-to-skin contact. 2

Are STDs curable?

Not all STDs are curable, but many can be effectively treated with medication. For instance, bacterial infections like chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis can be cured with antibiotics. However, viral infections like HIV and herpes are not curable, but the symptoms can be treated.

When should I get tested for STDs?

The right time for STD testing depends on various factors, such as your sexual activity, risk factors, and the specific STD in question. 3

As a general guideline, consider getting tested:

Before starting a new sexual relationship
Annually or more frequently if you have multiple sexual partners
If you experience any symptoms of an STD

Remember, if you have concerns or suspect you may have an STD, don't hesitate to consult a healthcare professional for proper evaluation and treatment. Feel free to reach out if you have more questions or would like to schedule testing for chlamydia and gonorrhea (the two most common bacterial STDs). Our healthcare professionals would be happy to help you!

Threads of Hope: Discovering Gratitude When Life Gets Tough

Fri, 17 Nov 2023 01:00:00 GMT

Life often has a way of throwing us curveballs when we least expect them. Whether you feel alone in your pregnancy, are struggling with a STD diagnosis, dealing with a painful breakup, or just feeling like life sucks. It's perfectly normal to feel like you've hit rock bottom. This season of thankfulness may seem like a distant and unattainable concept in these moments. But even in the darkest of times, there are still threads of light waiting to be discovered.

The Pit of Despair

When life takes an unexpected turn, it's natural to feel overwhelmed by a sense of despair. You might question your choices, worth, and even the world's fairness. It's okay to feel this way. It's a human response to hardship, and it's essential to acknowledge your feelings rather than hide them. Understand that it's normal to have hard seasons – whether they last for a day, a month, or even a year.

The Power of Acknowledgment

Acknowledging your feelings is the first step towards finding gratitude in despair. Recognize that it's okay not to be okay, and don't pressure yourself to transform your outlook instantly. Healing takes time, and it's a journey. It's important to remember that everyone faces challenges at some point, even if they don't always show it on the surface.

Seeking Silver Linings

While it may seem impossible to find anything to be thankful for in your current situation, there are usually some silver linings to be discovered. Even if they appear as just threads, they can help you start rebuilding your sense of hope and positivity.

1. Basic Needs: Take a moment to appreciate the things many people often take for granted. Are you fortunate to have a safe place to live, food on your table, and clean water to drink? These are essentials we should be grateful for.

2. Support Systems: Consider the people in your life who care about you. Friends, family, or even a support group can provide the emotional sustenance needed during tough times.

3. Personal Growth: Challenges can be opportunities for personal growth and resilience. Embrace them as chances to learn more about yourself, your strength, and your capacity for resilience.

4. Future Possibilities: Although it may not seem like it now, this difficult period could be a stepping stone to a brighter future. Reflect on the potential lessons you learn from your experiences.

5. Small Joys: Sometimes, it's the little things that bring the most joy. A beautiful sunrise, a heartfelt conversation, or a moment of laughter can all be reasons to be grateful.

Practicing Gratitude Daily

As you begin to acknowledge these threads of appreciation, consider incorporating gratitude into your daily routine. Start a gratitude journal, where you jot down at least three things you're thankful for daily. This practice can shift your focus from what's lacking in your life to the abundance of goodness that still surrounds you.

Seeking Help

Remember that you don't have to go through this alone. Seek support from friends, family, or professional counselors who can provide guidance and a listening ear. There is strength in vulnerability; opening up to others can be a powerful step toward healing. At Collage, we are more than willing to be that listening ear if you feel like you have no one you can turn to.

Creating Beauty From the Unexpected

Life's challenges can be daunting, but they also offer opportunities for growth, resilience, and, yes, even gratitude. When you find yourself in the depths of despair, take the time to acknowledge your feelings, seek out the silver linings, and remember that brighter days will come. You are not alone in your struggles, and with time and support, you will find your way back to a place of hope and gratitude.

In the words of Melody Beattie, " Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow ." So, even in the toughest of times, let gratitude be your guiding light on the path to healing and happiness.

Navigating the Heart: The Decision to Place Your Baby in an Adoptive Family

Fri, 03 Nov 2023 00:00:00 GMT

November is National Adoption Month, a time dedicated to recognizing and celebrating the beauty of adoption in all its forms. It's also an opportunity to shed light on a crucial aspect of the adoption journey – the emotional process of deciding to place your child in an adoptive family.

Choosing adoption is one of the most profound and challenging decisions any parent can make. It's a choice rooted in love and sacrifice, driven by the desire to provide the best possible future for your child. This process carries a unique weight, one that often involves a rollercoaster of emotions.

Factors and Considerations

When faced with the decision to place your child in an adoptive family, numerous factors and considerations come into play:

1. Your Child's Well-Being: The primary consideration is your child's future. Will they have the opportunity to grow up in a safe, loving, and stable environment? This question often fuels the decision to choose adoption, ensuring that your child's needs and best interests are met.

2. Personal Circumstances: Every situation is unique, and personal circumstances play a significant role. Factors like financial stability, health, and support systems are often considered. It's vital to evaluate whether you can provide the care and resources your child deserves.

3. Emotional Preparedness: The emotional aspect of adoption is profound. The decision can lead to a range of feelings, from grief and sadness to hope and relief. It's essential to consider your emotional readiness to navigate this complex journey.

4. Future Goals: Assess your long-term goals and aspirations. Does adoption align with your vision for the future? Understanding how this choice fits into your life plans can be an important factor in your decision-making process.

5. Open or Closed Adoption: Think about what level of contact you desire with your child and the adoptive family. Open adoptions offer ongoing contact and updates, while closed adoptions provide privacy. Your preferences in this matter should be considered.

Making the decision to place your child in an adoptive family is a deeply personal and emotional journey. It's essential to seek support from trusted friends, family members, and professionals who can provide guidance and a safe space to express your thoughts and feelings. It's crucial to remember that choosing adoption is an act of profound love. You are making the selfless decision to give your child the gift of a loving, stable, and supportive home. The path may be challenging, but it is also a testament to the strength of a parent's love.

National Adoption Month is a time to honor the courage and love behind every adoption story. As you navigate this emotional process, know that your decision is a testament to your unwavering commitment to your child's well-being and future. Your choice is a beacon of hope for a brighter tomorrow, not just for your child but for all those touched by your journey.

Partner Notification: The Importance of Communicating About STDs/STIs

Fri, 20 Oct 2023 00:00:00 GMT

Dealing with an STD/STI is tough. It can be embarrassing, frustrating, and even cause fear about your health. It's completely natural to feel that way. Seeking treatment for yourself is a top priority, but it's also important to notify any current or recent sexual partners you may have had.

Past Partner Notification:

By notifying past partners about your STD, you empower them to take proactive steps toward their health and well-being. Although it may be awkward and uncomfortable to talk to any past sexual partners, it's necessary to take that step as quickly as possible. Notification can lead to a reduced infection rate of 30%. 1

Since all STDs have different infection rates, it's important to know what you have so you can know how far back you should contact any individuals. For gonorrhea, it is suggested that you contact anyone within 2 months of testing. Chlamydia is up to 6 months before receiving a positive STD test.

How to Start the Conversation

Starting the conversation about STDs may feel challenging, so here are some speaking notes to help guide you:

Choose the right moment: Find a time to talk without distractions. Whether meeting in person or over the phone, make sure it's a good time for a 10-20 minute conversation.
Speak from the heart: Begin the conversation with "I" statements to share your feelings and concerns. For instance, "I recently discovered I was diagnosed with [INSERT STD NAME], and it was recommended that my previous partners get tested as well. Most of the time, it doesn’t cause symptoms, so if you haven't had any, you should still be tested to be safe.”
Do your research: Share the information you have, and be ready to answer any questions they might have.
Respect their emotions and decisions: Embrace their reactions with empathy and understanding, knowing everyone responds differently.

Current Partner

Open communication is the key to maintaining a healthy and trusting relationship. If you've recently discovered that you have an STD, it's essential to have an honest conversation with your current partner about it. Notifying your partner about your STD status demonstrates your care and respect for their well-being, and it allows both of you to take the necessary steps toward protecting their health.

Here are some important points to consider when discussing STD testing with your current partner:

Encourage Testing: When you notify your partner about your STD, it's crucial to encourage them to get tested. STD testing is essential for early detection and treatment. It not only safeguards their health but also helps prevent the spread of infections to others. In most cases, presumptive treatment is an option for your partner.
Support and Understanding: Your partner may need time to process the news and decide their next steps. Be there to support them emotionally and reassure them that getting tested is a responsible and courageous choice.
Safety and Protection: The only way to be certain you won’t contract an STD again is to be in a mutually monogamous relationship like marriage. If you and your partner decide to continue engaging in sexual activities, make sure you understand what is safe with your contracted STD. For chlamydia and gonorrhea, you and your partner should always wait until 7-10 days after your antibiotic courses are completed to start having any type of sexual activity. If you want to be sure you no longer have an STD, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) recommends testing for cure four to six weeks after treatment.

Telling someone about your STD/STI may feel daunting, but it's a pivotal step in making them aware of a possible health concern. Put yourself in their shoes. What if the roles were reversed? Wouldn't you want a past or current partner to be open and tell you about a potential STD? You might also consider how to communicate with them. A text might be the easiest for you, but again, put yourself in their shoes. Is a phone call or a face-to-face conversation even better? With an estimated 20 million new cases of STIs in America, it's important to be upfront and honest with any sexual partners.

Collage is here for you during this difficult time. There's no shame here; we're a safe, confidential space for you. If you or someone you know suspects they may have an STD, please reach out to one of our locations. We provided testing and treatment for the two most common STDs, chlamydia and gonorrhea, at no cost to you.

Embracing Your Unique Beauty

Fri, 06 Oct 2023 00:00:00 GMT

There are moments when we may face the challenge of embracing our true selves with love and acceptance. It's all too common to fall into the trap of self-doubt and comparison, whether it's about our appearance, personality, or abilities. We may think we're too fat, too tall, or don't have perfect skin. We might worry that our personality is too loud or that we're not smart enough. But let us tell you something - here, in this space, we believe in the power of uniqueness. We celebrate every aspect of ourselves, recognizing that being unique makes us truly beautiful.

Your Journey, Your Beauty:

First and foremost, remember that beauty is not just skin deep; it's an intricate tapestry that weaves our thoughts, dreams, and emotions together. Embrace the beautiful person you are becoming. Each freckle, scar, or stretch mark is a testament to the journey you've walked, the stories you've lived, and the resilience you possess. There is no one-size-fits-all definition of beauty, so let's celebrate our individuality and the diverse looks that radiate from within.

Challenge the Inner Critic:

A negative mindset can be relentless in a world that sometimes feels obsessed with perfection. But you know what? It's time to silence that voice! Challenge those harmful thoughts and replace them with empowering mantras like "I am enough," "I am unique and special," and "I deserve to love myself just as I am." Remind yourself daily that you are worthy of love and acceptance, regardless of trends and social media.

Love Your Body, Love Yourself:

Your body is your sacred vessel, carrying you through life's adventures. Treat it with kindness and respect. Instead of focusing on what you wish to change, embrace what makes you special and unique. Loving your body is an act of self-respect, and it's a journey worth embarking on.

Surround Yourself with Positivity:

Creating a positive and supportive environment is crucial for your well-being. Surround yourself with friends who uplift and celebrate you for who you are. Engage in activities that bring you joy and empower you to be your authentic self. Social media can be a powerful tool, but remember to curate your feed to include body-positive influencers who promote self-acceptance and diversity.

Be Your Own Cheerleader:

Celebrate your victories, both big and small. Acknowledge your growth and progress, and be kind to yourself on days when you may stumble. Practicing self-compassion and self-encouragement will fortify your belief in your unique beauty.

A few years ago, the Collage team found this inspiring video we wish to share with you. It's about choosing beauty. Every day you have the choice to decide what your mindset will be. Am I going to believe in myself? Am I going to talk negatively about myself? This video reflects on if someone was forced to make that physical decision. Are they average, or are they beautiful? We encourage you to take some time to reflect on your choice.

Remember that you deserve love, respect, and acceptance - from others and, most importantly, from yourself. You are enough, just as you are. Always.

Date Rape Awareness

Thu, 21 Sep 2023 23:45:00 GMT

Parties. They can be fun; you get to socialize with your friends and meet new ones. It can be a time to unwind from school or work. Overall, it’s a chance to have a good time and have some much-needed fun. But parties also come with risks, one of those being date rape. You see, date rape is more common than we might think, and it's not always perpetrated by strangers lurking in dark alleys. Studies have shown that only 8 percent of reported rape cases involve attacks by strangers. The sobering truth is that women are most at risk from individuals they know, trust, or have some form of relationship with, including partners, former partners, men they're dating, and acquaintances. 1

A disturbing aspect of date rape is the use of drugs, which are estimated to be involved in up to one in five reported cases. These substances, like Rohypnol, GHB, GBL, and ketamine, can be slipped into drinks without detection, leaving victims vulnerable and confused. It's terrifying to think that someone we might trust at a party or a restaurant could do such a thing, but it's crucial to be aware and proactive. 2

Gals: Empower Yourself with Knowledge and Awareness!

Let's be aware that people do actually use date rape drugs to take advantage of someone. In fact, females ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault. To stay safe, never leave your drink unattended, and be cautious about accepting drinks from strangers. Trust your instincts, and if you feel something is off or start feeling weird, seek help immediately and get out of there! 3

Guys: Be Active Protectors!

You have the power to promote safety and respect at parties and social gatherings significantly. One of the most essential steps is watching out for the well-being of women, especially if you're in a group with friends. Be attentive to any situation that seems uncomfortable or potentially dangerous, and never hesitate to intervene or offer support if you see someone in need.

It's also crucial to look out for yourselves since guys are not immune to the risks of date rape. While it is true that women are statistically more likely to experience sexual assault and date rape, men can also be victims of these crimes.

Building a Community

If you see someone in a potentially dangerous situation, use your voice, offer help, and take action to ensure everyone's safety. When you do go out, consider bringing a trusty buddy with you when you go out. Remember to stick together and make a pact to leave if anyone feels uneasy or uncomfortable.

What Happens if There Is a Rape?

If you find yourself in the difficult and distressing situation of experiencing rape or sexual assault, it's essential to remember that you are not alone, and there are people who genuinely care about you and want to help. Take a deep breath and know that you have options, and you are in control of your narrative and what happens next.

Here are some important steps you can consider taking:

Call a hotline: Reaching out to a local center can provide crucial support and information. Trained professionals can answer any questions and guide you through the process. Family Advocacy Network (Kearney) and Willow Rising (Grand Island) are great places.
Go to the hospital: The decision to go after such an experience is entirely up to you. If you choose to do so, they may offer a sexual assault forensic exam, commonly known as a rape kit. This process can collect evidence of the assault from your body, clothes, and personal belongings.
Call 911: If you are in immediate danger or need urgent assistance, do not hesitate to call 911. They can dispatch emergency help and ensure your safety.
Focus on healing: Healing from such a traumatic experience is a deeply personal journey, and you have the right to prioritize your well-being. Taking time to process your emotions and seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals can be essential to the healing process.

Know that our team members at Collage are here for you. We offer a safe space for counselors or law enforcement to meet you in one place during this time.

A Guide to Pregnancy Testing

Fri, 08 Sep 2023 00:00:00 GMT

Life often surprises us with unexpected twists and turns, and finding out you may be pregnant when you least expect it can be an overwhelming experience. The moment the thought pops into your head, "Am I pregnant?" can be a mix of emotions – excitement, uncertainty, and even fear. If it's your first time facing this possibility, it's completely natural to feel unsure about what steps to take next. Questions flood your mind – Are home pregnancy tests accurate? Should I schedule a doctor's appointment?

In this blog, we're here to guide you as we explore the world of pregnancy testing. We'll walk you through three different kinds of pregnancy tests, discussing their accuracy, how to obtain them, and what you can expect from each option. Whether you're feeling lost or just seeking reassurance, we're here to be a support to you on this journey.

Home Pregnancy Test:

A home pregnancy test is easily accessible and can provide quick answers in the comfort of your own home. It's simple to use - just pee on the stick and wait for the result. The test detects a hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) in your urine secreted by the developing placenta after fertilization.

Accuracy: Home pregnancy tests can be fairly reliable when you follow all the directions, offering over 97% accuracy, usually after the first day of a missed period. 1 However, testing a few days after the missed period can give you an even more dependable result. Reasons for a false positive can include having a recent miscarriage or abortion, being on certain medications, or testing too soon.

Where to Go: You can find home pregnancy tests at local pharmacies, grocery stores, or even order them online. It's all about convenience.

What it Tells You: A positive result indicates that you might be pregnant, while a negative result could mean you're not pregnant or you tested too early.

Lab Pregnancy Test:

The lab pregnancy test is a great option when you need more assurance. It's different from the home test, as it tends to be more accurate since medical personnel administer it.

Accuracy: The lab test can detect pregnancy as early as 7-12 days after conception and are over 97% accurate.

Where to Go: To get this test, you'll need to visit a medical facility or a clinic where caring healthcare professionals will support you. Collage provides lab-quality pregnancy testing at no cost to you.

What it Tells You: Like the home test, the lab test is an indication that you might be pregnant.

Ultrasound:

Although it’s not an actual ‘test’ ultrasound is the only way to confirm if a pregnancy is viable and can provide additional insights that others can't.

Accuracy: Although viability may be detected as early as 6 weeks after your last menstrual period, the timing of your first ultrasound varies depending on your provider. Some people have an ultrasound as early as seven to eight weeks of pregnancy. 3

Where to Go: A medical facility, clinic, or specialized imaging center can administer an OB ultrasound. At Collage, we provide limited OB ultrasounds at no cost.

What it Tells You: The ultrasound confirms the presence of a viable pregnancy and the estimation of the baby's gestational age. It's an opportunity to see the baby's growth and to understand more about the journey ahead.

What do I do if I think I may be pregnant?

You can always start with a home pregnancy test. We’d say it’s best to wait until after you’ve missed your period.

pregnancy test calculator

If your home pregnancy test is positive, we recommend making an appointment with your health care professional. If you don't have a doctor, are concerned about medical bills, or are overwhelmed with the thought of being pregnant and need someone to come along side you, please call Collage. We’re here to help you figure out what your next best step is as well as offering free lab-quality pregnancy testing and limited OB ultrasounds to help determine if you are pregnant.

This journey is unique to you, and whatever you decide, know that you have the strength to embrace this new chapter in your life. Take it step by step, and know that you are not alone.

5 Signs You Might Be Pregnant

Fri, 18 Aug 2023 00:00:04 GMT

At Collage, we understand that discovering a potential pregnancy can be an overwhelming and emotional experience, especially if you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy. The goal of this blog is to provide you with the initial information of what a possible pregnancy might look like. Please remember that each person's experience is unique, and the signs we discuss are meant to provide a starting point for understanding your body's messages.

1. Missed Period:

A missed period is one of the most recognizable signs of pregnancy. For many, it serves as an initial indication that something might be changing within. If you have a regular menstrual cycle and your period is significantly delayed or doesn't arrive, it could indicate that you are pregnant. However, it's important to understand that other factors, such as stress or changes in lifestyle, can also affect your menstrual cycle. If you suspect you may be pregnant, taking a home pregnancy test or visiting a healthcare professional can provide clarity and peace of mind. Collage offers free and confidential services as well as providing a safe place.

2. Changes in Breast Sensation:

Hormonal shifts can cause tenderness, swelling, or increased sensitivity in your breasts. You may notice that they feel fuller or heavier than usual. Breast tenderness can start as early as 4-6 weeks into your first trimester.

3. Fatigue and Changes in Energy Levels:

Feeling more tired than usual, even after a good night's sleep, is a common sign of pregnancy. If you’re feeling this way, listen to your body's cues and prioritize rest during this time.

4. Nausea and Morning Sickness:

The often-talked-about morning sickness! While it can occur at any time of the day, it's a well-known sign of pregnancy. Nausea, sometimes accompanied by vomiting, can make its presence known and leave you feeling queasy or averse to certain foods. Remember, every pregnancy is unique, and the intensity of these symptoms can vary from person to person.

5. Changes in Urination Patterns:

Pregnancy can also impact your urinary habits. You may find yourself making more frequent trips to the bathroom or experiencing a heightened sense of urgency. Your body adapts to the transitions happening within, which can lead to increased blood flow to the pelvic area and changes in your urinary system.

Contacting a healthcare professional is important if you suspect you may be pregnant or have concerns. They can provide accurate information, perform necessary tests, and offer support and guidance tailored to your situation. At Collage, we offer you lab-quality pregnancy testing and limited OB ultrasounds at no cost. You have the strength and resilience to navigate this journey, and we are here to walk alongside you with unwavering support and compassion.

We're here for you. If you would like to schedule an appointment, please call or contact us online.

Kearney Location - 308.234.9880

Grand Island Location - 308.675.2217

Mental Health Matters

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 00:00:00 GMT

Did you know that approximately 1 in 5 students experience a mental health condition? Just let that sink in. That means four students are struggling in a typical classroom size of 20 students. Middle school, high school, and college are supposed to be a time of making great memories and feeling empowered toward your future goals and dreams. 1

Why is mental health important? From academic expectations to social interactions and personal growth, the weight of these experiences can take a toll on a student's mental well-being. It’s essential to understand that mental health is not separate from academic pursuits but a fundamental aspect that directly influences overall success, resilience, and fulfillment.

So how can you start to develop and build a healthy mental game?

Embrace a Holistic Approach:

Education is about more than just grades. It encompasses all aspects of your life, including physical, emotional, social, and spiritual well-being. By prioritizing your well-being in these areas, you develop strength, self-awareness, and coping mechanisms that can help you navigate various situations. Take time to engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Exercise, eat nourishing meals, and get adequate rest. Cultivate meaningful relationships and connections with others. Explore activities aligning with your values and beliefs to enhance your purpose and fulfillment.

Make Decisions Based on Your Values:

As you journey through school, you'll face numerous decisions that shape your educational experience. It's important to base these choices on your core values. Consider what truly matters to you and how each decision aligns with your authentic self. When selecting classes, participating in extracurricular activities, or deciding on a career path, take a moment to reflect on how these choices reflect your values. Making decisions that align with your values empowers you to lead a life that is meaningful and true to who you are.

Build a Supportive Community:

Surrounding yourself with a supportive community can tremendously impact your mental well-being. Seek resources within your educational environment, such as counseling services, mental health awareness programs, and peer support networks. These resources provide a safe and understanding space to express yourself and seek guidance when needed. Connect with individuals who make you feel heard, understood, and valued. Engage in open conversations about mental health to reduce stigma and create an environment of support and empathy.

Remember, your mental health matters! We all experience stress and anxiety; that's nothing to be ashamed of. What's important is developing good habits to help cope with these stressors. At Collage, we truly believe in supporting each other through our unique journeys. We're here for you, cheering for you as you prepare for a future filled with resilience, authenticity, and confidence.

Navigating Your College Experience

Fri, 21 Jul 2023 00:00:11 GMT

Congratulations! You're about to embark on an exciting adventure called college life. As you step into this new chapter filled with possibilities and unknowns, remember the wise words of Dr. Seuss: " You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. " These words hold a valuable lesson that can help guide you throughout your college journey: you are the captain of your ship.

College is a time to broaden your horizons, both academically and personally. The choices you make, the friends you meet, and your experiences will shape you in ways you can't even imagine yet. So, as you embark on this incredible voyage, here are some tips to help you navigate your college experience:

Embrace Your Individuality: College is a place where diversity thrives. Embrace who you are and the unique perspectives you bring to the table. Remember, there is no one "right" way to be a college student.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone: Join a club or organization that aligns with your interests, take classes that pique your curiosity, and don't be afraid to strike up conversations with people from different backgrounds. These experiences will enrich your college years and help you discover hidden talents and passions.

Seek Support: College can sometimes be challenging, but remember you don't have to face these challenges alone. Seek support from your professors, academic advisors, and classmates. Build relationships with mentors who can guide you and offer valuable advice. And remember your family and friends back home, who will always be there to cheer you on.

Embrace Failure as a Stepping Stone: Remember that failure is not the end, whether it's a disappointing grade or a missed opportunity. It's an opportunity to learn, grow, and adapt. Embrace these setbacks as stepping stones to success and keep pushing forward with determination and resilience.

Find Joy in the Journey: College isn't just about the destination; it's about the experiences along the way. Take the time to enjoy the little moments, from late-night study sessions with friends to impromptu adventures in your college town. Cherish the memories you make and the friendships you form. These may be some of the most treasured aspects of your college experience.

Remember, your college journey is uniquely yours. Don't compare yourself to others or feel pressured to follow a specific path. Embrace the uncertainty and allow yourself to explore different passions, interests, and values.

As you set sail into the vast sea of college life, remember that you have brains in your head and feet in your shoes. You have the power to steer yourself in any direction you choose. Trust yourself, embrace the adventure, and enjoy the ride!

Why Am I Feeling This Way After My Abortion?

Fri, 07 Jul 2023 00:00:00 GMT

To the hurting,

Ending a pregnancy can be an emotionally challenging experience. You may have days when you cannot get it off your mind. You may feel numb or have waves of sadness and tears. Know that others have felt the same emotions. You're not alone with your feelings.

It's important to know that all women experience a variety of emotions after an abortion. Feelings of relief, sadness, grief, guilt, and depression are common. There's no right or wrong way to feel. You may feel relieved. You may feel sad. You might feel several emotions all at once. That's not unusual. It's important for you to acknowledge these emotions and allow yourself to grieve in your own way.

It's important to have a support system. Reach out to a trusted friend or family member who cares about you and will listen to you. Abortions can be hard to talk about, so if you're feeling overwhelmed by your emotions or memories of your experience, it's helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor. Sharing your feelings can help you process your emotions and feel less alone.

It's also important to take care of yourself physically during this time. Make sure you're eating well, staying hydrated, and getting enough rest. Be kind to yourself. Recovery times vary from person to person. Give your body time to heal. Take time to do things that make you feel good, whether it's going for a walk, reading a book, or spending time with loved ones. Know that if there are tears, it's okay to cry.

Did you have a follow-up appointment a few weeks after, whether you had a procedure or took pills? If not, have you experienced any physical symptoms or complications? How have these impacted your emotional well-being? If mood changes interfere with your daily life or don't go away, let your doctor know. If you're having physical challenges afterward, you should contact a doctor.

I hope that these words offer some comfort during this difficult time. Remember that you're not alone and that your abortion doesn't define you.

There are resources available to support you. If you'd like to talk with someone who knows this pain, we're here to listen and help in your healing journey. Feel free to email us to learn more about what our after-abortion help looks like.

With care and understanding,

The Collage Team

The Power of Self-Love: How to Overcome Insecurities and Build Healthy Relationships

Fri, 16 Jun 2023 00:00:00 GMT

Dealing with insecurities can be tricky, especially in a romantic relationship. It's completely normal to feel insecure from time to time, but it's important to process your emotions in a healthy way. Left unchecked, feelings of insecurity may lead to snooping, arguments, mistrust, and even controlling behavior.

Understand your triggers

Once you know what triggers these emotions in you, it will be easier to manage them. Listen to your gut and try to identify what people or situations make you feel insecure. Is it something related to your past, a certain environment, or do you notice these feelings most after scrolling social media? Alternatively, is there someone in your life who regularly leaves you feeling bad about yourself after spending time together?

Talk it out with your partner

Try to be honest with your partner about how you're feeling. Share your concerns with them, but remember to do so in a non-accusatory way. Your partner may not realize that certain people or situations make you uncomfortable, or be unsure of how to help you. Communicating your needs can help you build trust and intimacy. You can try phrasing it this way:

“I feel ________ when _________, because ___________.”
“I could use some reassurance when _________.”
“Can you tell me more about _________?”

Practice self-care

Take some time for yourself and engage in activities that bring you joy and boost your confidence. Whether it's exercise, a hobby, volunteering, or spending time with good friends, doing things you enjoy can help you feel more grounded and secure in who you are. Other forms of self-care may include taking a break from social media or journaling about the things you like about yourself and are proud of. You may even choose to part ways with a friend or partner who is overly critical of you or dismissive of your feelings.

Seek support if needed

Remember, there's no shame in seeking support when you need it. If you're struggling to manage your emotions on your own, consider speaking to a therapist or counselor. They can help you work through your feelings and develop coping strategies that work for you.

Dealing with insecurities in a romantic relationship can be challenging, but it's important to confront them. By understanding your triggers, communicating with your partner, practicing self-care, and seeking support, you can learn about yourself and build a more trusting relationship. Remember that you have a unique identity and that no one else can be you as well as you can!

I Just Received a Sext - What Do I Do?

Fri, 02 Jun 2023 00:00:19 GMT

Picture this: you're scrolling through your phone when suddenly, a notification pops up. It's a message from someone you know, and as you read it, you realize it's a sext - a sexually explicit message, photo, or video. You may not be sure what to do or how to react. If this scenario sounds familiar, you're not alone. Sexting has become a common form of communication among teens and young adults, but it's not without its risks.

In this blog, we'll explore the world of sexting and its potential consequences and offer practical tips for handling sexting situations safely and responsibly. So, buckle up and get ready to learn how to navigate the tricky waters of sexting.

If you receive a sext:

Don't share the sext. It's important not to share the sext with anyone else, as it could harm the person who sent it or violate their privacy. Legally, if you send images to others, you could be accused of revenge porn - where you knowingly and intentionally distribute or otherwise make public an image or video of another person's intimate area if the other person had a reasonable expectation that the photo would remain private. Nebraska Revenge Porn Law-LB630 This violation could result in a possible misdemeanor or felony.
Seek support. If you're feeling overwhelmed or unsure how to handle the situation, it's crucial to seek help from a trusted friend, family member, or adult. You can also contact a helpline or chat service for advice and guidance.
Report the sext. If the sext is non-consensual or involves a minor (person under 19), reporting it to the appropriate authorities is vital. This includes law enforcement or school officials.

If you receive a sex request:

Don't feel obligated to send a nude photo. Remember, it's your body, and you have the right to say no.
Be aware of potential consequences. Sending nude photos can have serious consequences, both legally and emotionally. Once an image is sent, you lose control. You now have no choice over who sees it and where it goes, and who it could be shared with. Current laws in Nebraska provide that it is permitted for teenagers no more than two years apart in age to engage in consensual sexting without being accused of a sex crime if the sender is less than 19 years old and the receiver is no younger than 15.
Consider the person who is asking. If you receive a sext request from someone you know, think carefully about the nature of your relationship with them and whether you feel comfortable sending explicit photos or videos. If the request is from a stranger, it's best to ignore it and block them.
Set clear boundaries. If someone continues to pressure you for a nude photo or makes you uncomfortable, it's important to be clear about your boundaries and communicate them firmly. It may be best to stop contact with them if they continue pushing.

Sexting can be tempting, but it's important to remember that it comes with risks. You have the right to say no, set boundaries, and seek help if you feel overwhelmed. Ultimately, being smart with what you're doing and using common sense can help you stay safe and make informed decisions regarding sexting. So, be smart, be safe, and stay in control of your life.

Want to stay informed and learn more about Sexting laws in Nebraska? https://recordinglaw.com/us-laws/federal-sexting-laws/nebraska-sexting-laws/

Relationship Advice for the End of the School Year: How to Stay Connected as Your Paths Diverge

Fri, 19 May 2023 00:00:14 GMT

As the school year comes to an end, we know it can feel like a whirlwind of emotions. You’re excited about what’s to come, but it’s tough to say goodbye to the relationships you’ve built and the friends you’ve made over the past several months or years. This can be a bittersweet and challenging time, but as your paths diverge, staying connected and maintaining meaningful relationships with those you care about is possible.

Change is a part of life, and it’s normal for relationships to shift and change as we grow and evolve. It’s especially tough for students during times of transition, like the end of the school year. You may be saying goodbye to close friends who are moving away for college, starting new jobs, or facing challenges with a significant other. But just because a relationship changes doesn’t mean it has to end altogether.

To keep your relationships alive, it’s necessary to make a conscious effort to stay in touch, even if it’s just virtually. Sending regular text messages, making phone calls, or scheduling video calls are great ways to catch up and stay connected. And when you have a chance, plan in-person get-togethers, like a road trip, picnic, or movie night. These activities will help you catch up and remind you that these relationships are essential to your life.

It’s also important to be genuine and sincere about your feelings. For example, if you’re sad or anxious about losing touch with someone, talk to them about it. Sharing your thoughts and feelings can deepen your connection and create a stronger bond with them.

If you’re in a romantic relationship, the end of the school year can be even more complicated. But don’t worry; approach the situation as a team and with compassion. Focus on creating meaningful memories and enjoying the time you have together. Communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and your plans for the future. By having these conversations early on, you can make decisions together about the future of your relationship.

At Collage, we know that relationships can be challenging, especially during times of transition. But with compassion, understanding, and open communication, you can maintain solid and valuable connections with those you care about, even as you take different paths.

Let’s Get Real: Mother’s Day

Fri, 05 May 2023 00:00:05 GMT

It's that time of year again - Mother's Day. While it's generally seen as a day of celebration and honor for the women who have given us life, the truth is that it can be a difficult and emotional day for many people. The reality is not everyone has a positive relationship with their mother or children. And although this can be uncomfortable and painful, being honest about our feelings can benefit our emotional and mental health.

For those who have lost a child, Mother's Day can be a stark reminder of the grief and loss felt daily. It's important to acknowledge and honor that pain and give ourselves permission to feel it fully. We don't have to pretend everything is okay or put on a brave face. It's okay to cry, to grieve, and to take time for ourselves.

For those who have chosen to place a child in an adoptive family, Mother's Day can be bittersweet. While you may feel proud and happy that your child is thriving in a new home, there may also be feelings of loss and sadness. It's important to honor those emotions and seek support from others who have been through similar experiences.

For those who’ve experienced abortion, this day may bring up some unexpected emotions or memories. Always remember that you have value and worth that can never be taken away, no matter the choices you’ve made or the ones made for you. It's okay, in fact, it's good to allow yourself to grieve the loss of your child or children. If you want, do something special to acknowledge them today. And if you need someone to talk to, we're always here for you.

For those who have a strained relationship with a mother or children, Mother's Day can be a day of tension and discomfort. Not all relationships are perfect, and setting boundaries and prioritizing our emotional well-being is okay. We don't have to force ourselves to participate in events or activities that make us uncomfortable or unhappy. It's okay to take time to work on building a stronger connection. We can use this day as a reminder to reach out and connect, even if it feels difficult or awkward.

For those who long to be a mother, Mother's Day can be particularly challenging. It's important to remember that motherhood can take many forms and happen at any stage of life. It’s important to recognize that motherhood is not limited to biology or traditional family structures. There are many women who may not have given birth but are mothers in every sense of the word - through adoption, foster care, or simply by being a maternal figure to those around them. We can use this day to celebrate and honor all types of motherhood and the love and nurturing that comes with it.

Mother's Day is a day to celebrate the complexities of motherhood and the wide range of emotions that come with it. It's a time to be genuine and honest about our feelings, honor our experiences, and seek support and connection with others.

At Collage we recognize that there are times when seeing the beauty in a situation or person can be difficult. It might be buried under the rubble of past decisions or circumstances in our lives. But no matter how badly we may have been broken and tarnished, but the fact is, that beauty remains, waiting to be uncovered.

So let's get real this Mother's Day and honor the human side of motherhood. #realmotherhood

From Different Worlds: Navigating Cultural Differences in Relationships

Fri, 21 Apr 2023 00:00:12 GMT

Navigating cultural differences in romantic relationships can be a challenging but rewarding experience. While there are no easy answers, here are some tips to help you and your partner communicate effectively and build a strong relationship:

Respect Differences

It’s important to acknowledge and respect each other's cultural differences. You may have grown up with different values, beliefs, and customs, which can affect the way you communicate and interact with each other. Make an effort to learn about each other's culture and beliefs, and approach differences with an open mind. You may find fun and creative ways to show your respect, like learning their language, studying up on cultural etiquette before meeting their family, or learning to cook their favorite recipes.

Communication is Key

Effective communication is essential in any relationship, but especially in one where cultural differences are present. Avoid making assumptions about your partner's behaviors and ask questions to clarify your understanding. Keep in mind that the partner with more fluency in your shared language will naturally tend to dominate conversations, so be sure to give your partner enough time to express their thoughts.

Be Flexible… But Clear About Your Boundaries

Cross-cultural relationships require a certain amount of flexibility and adaptability. You’lll occasionally need to compromise and find creative ways to accommodate each other's needs and preferences.

However, it’s important to regularly check in with yourself about your own values and boundaries. Journaling about your expectations can bring clarity to what you’re willing to compromise on, and what’s an absolute must-have or a deal-breaker for you. Ask yourself about your views on gender-roles, diet, religious differences, sexual expression, modesty standards, sexual expression, family size, parenting styles, and the role of elder family members in your life decisions. Consider having your partner answer those same questions to see how your beliefs align.

Embrace Similarities

While cultural differences can be a source of tension in a relationship, it’s also important to focus on the things you have in common. Embrace the similarities and shared values that brought you together in the first place, and celebrate the diversity that makes your relationship unique. You may find that creating your own “mash-up” of favorite meals, holiday traditions, and languages becomes part of the special bond that you share with your partner.

Seek Out Role Models

If possible, seek out a couple with a similar background to yours and ask them how they have successfully navigated their cultural differences. If they’re willing to share, what were the main issues that came up, and how did they resolve them? What do they appreciate about their partner’s culture? How have they managed to combine their lifestyles and traditions?

Cross-cultural romantic relationships require patience and understanding. By keeping an open mind, a willingness to learn, and being clear about your own needs, navigating cultural differences in a relationship can be a rewarding and enriching experience.

Breaking the Stigma of STD Testing

Fri, 07 Apr 2023 00:00:05 GMT

We know that talking about STD testing and treatment can be awkward and uncomfortable, but it's important to address the stigma surrounding sexually transmitted diseases and infections. When people feel ashamed or embarrassed to get help, it can seriously affect their long-term health.

Did you know that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports about 20 million new STD infections in the US each year and that half of them to happen to people ages 15-24? 1 It's a crazy high number, so raising awareness and encouraging regular testing is essential.

Remember, having an STD doesn't define you as a person. STDs do not single you out based on age, gender, or sexual orientation.

Getting tested can be nerve-wracking, but it's a responsible and proactive step toward taking care of yourself and others. The first step is to educate ourselves and discuss STDs openly with our loved ones to break down the stigma.

If you're sexually active, talk with your partner(s) about getting tested. Find a healthcare provider who specializes in sexual health and to who you feel comfortable talking. Don't be afraid to ask questions or express your concerns.

It's also important to know that some STDs can be asymptomatic, meaning you won't experience noticeable symptoms even if you're infected. If you think you may be at risk, it's best to refrain from sexual contact until you're tested and cleared. Untreated STDs can lead to complications such as infertility and chronic pain, so regular testing is crucial for protecting your health and preventing the spreading of infections. 2

At Collage, you can get tested and treated for two of the most common bacterial STDs, chlamydia and gonorrhea, for free! We provide compassionate and non-judgmental care to all our patients. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact us by email or phone. Let's work together to break down barriers and encourage open communication about sexual health.

Navigating Social Media & Online Relationships

Fri, 17 Mar 2023 00:00:06 GMT

It’s no secret that social media has revolutionized the dating scene. Meeting people online is now a common way to start a relationship, and many couples today owe their love story to social media and dating apps. However, navigating social media and online romantic relationships can be a bit tricky, so we’re here to share some friendly advice on how to do it in a way that's healthy and fun.

Be Authentic

Firstly, it's important to be yourself when using social media to connect with others. Although it's tempting to present a perfect version of yourself online, the best approach is to be yourself from the start. This way, you'll attract people who like you for who you are, not for who you're pretending to be.

Don't Rush Things

When you meet someone online, it's easy to get caught up in the excitement and rush things. However, it's important to take your time and get to know the person first. Don't jump into anything too quickly, and make sure to have conversations about your expectations and boundaries.

Be Safe

Meeting someone online can be exciting, but it's important to be safe. Tell a friend or family member who you are meeting and where you are meeting them, and always meet in a public place for your first few dates. If you're unsure about someone, trust your instincts and don't continue the relationship if it doesn't feel right.

Watch Out for Red Flags

Unfortunately, dating sites can attract scammers and catfishers who use fake profiles and manipulative tactics to take advantage of others. Here are some red flags to look out for to know if you're being scammed or catfished by an online “friend”:

They ask for money or try to sell you something

One of the most common signs that you're being scammed is if the person you're talking to asks for money. Be wary of anyone who asks for money or financial assistance, even if they claim it's for a legitimate reason.

They refuse to video chat

If someone refuses to video chat, it's possible that they're not who they say they are. Catfishers often use fake photos and avoid video chats to hide their true identity.

Their story doesn't add up

If they tell you one thing one day and something completely different the next, or if their story seems too good to be true, it's possible that they're not being honest with you.

They are overly charming and flattering

Scammers and catfishers can use flattery to gain your trust and manipulate you. If someone is overly complimentary and seems too good to be true, it's important to be cautious.

They have a limited online presence

Catfishers often have limited online presence and only use social media or dating sites to communicate with their victims. If someone's online presence seems limited or their profile seems incomplete, it's possible that they're not who they claim to be.

Online romantic relationships can be fun and rewarding, but it's important to navigate them with care. By being authentic, taking your time, and watching out for red flags, you'll be able to find healthy and meaningful relationships through online dating. You are valuable and your boundaries are important, so remember to always trust your instincts and prioritize your safety!

Building a Support System During an Unexpected Pregnancy

Fri, 03 Mar 2023 01:00:01 GMT

An unexpected pregnancy can be a bit overwhelming, but the good news is that having a solid support system can make all the difference. You see, a support system can provide emotional and practical help, aid you in making informed decisions, and be a constant source of comfort and encouragement during your pregnancy and beyond.

In what ways can you build a supportive network during this special time?

First, we suggest that you talk to your partner . If you have someone by your side, open and honest conversations about your feelings and worries are critical. Your partner can be a valuable source of support for you, both emotionally and in practical ways. In addition, you can feel more connected and secure in your relationship by talking about your expectations, fears, and hopes for the future.

Next, reach out to your family and friends . Your loved ones can offer you emotional support, especially if they have had a similar experience. So don't be afraid to ask for their support. And if they cannot offer help, they might still be able to connect you with other resources.

Joining a pregnancy support group can also be helpful. This can give you a community of people going through the same thing as you. These groups can offer emotional support, practical advice, and a safe space to discuss your feelings and concerns.

Professional counseling can also be a great way to cope with the emotional challenges of an unexpected pregnancy. A trained therapist can provide support, help you navigate your feelings, and give you coping strategies for the challenges that might come up.

And lastly, there are many online resources available to those facing an unexpected pregnancy. From online forums and support groups to educational resources, these resources can help you feel informed and empowered during this time.

Building a support system during an unexpected pregnancy is essential for your and your baby's well-being. By reaching out to those you trust, connecting with others in similar circumstances, and utilizing available resources, you can create a supportive network that will help you navigate this journey confidently.

Knowing where to turn in the midst of the unexpected is important. And at Collage, we would love to walk alongside you on your path. From your first lab-quality pregnancy test to your first ultrasound to confirm your pregnancy, we're devoted to being a part of your support. We value connection, so don't hesitate to get in touch with us by email or phone call (Kearney 308.234.9880 or Grand Island 308.675.2217 ).

Breaking the Silence: Understanding and Preventing Teen Dating Violence

Fri, 17 Feb 2023 01:00:00 GMT

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, a reminder that dating violence is a serious issue among teenagers. Sadly, 1 in 3 U.S. teens (ages 12-18) will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from someone they're in a relationship with before becoming adults. 1

Physical violence, sexual assault, stalking, verbal misuse, and emotional abuse are dating violence indicators. These behaviors can happen in any relationship and to anyone, regardless of age, gender, or popularity. Recognizing the warning signs, such as controlling behavior, excessive jealousy, violent tendencies, emotional immaturity, and isolation from friends and family, is crucial to leaving a relationship.

Dating violence takes three primary forms: physical, psychological/emotional, and financial abuse. 2

Physical Abuse includes:

Physical violence or restraint directed at you.
Destroying your possessions.
Hitting walls, doors, or vehicles.
Sexual assault.
Physical abuse can sometimes be the most apparent form of dating violence but also the most intimidating. Speaking up can be scary, but holding on to that fear can give the abuser the control they seek.

Psychological and Emotional Abuse usually comes in two forms: making threats and eroding your self-worth.

This kind of abuse can look like this:

Publicly embarrassing or humiliating you.
Withholding affection.
Insulting, putting you down, or ignoring you.
Isolating you from your friends and family.

These types of abuse can be more subtle and challenging to recognize. The abuser uses your desire to please and fear of losing the relationship to manipulate you.

Financial Abuse can be a range of behaviors, including:

Stealing from you.
Using your personal items for themselves.
Forcing you to stop working.

The abuser's goal is to ensure you have no resources to leave them or manage your behavior by forcing you to depend on them.

It's important to remember that you have the right to be in a safe and healthy relationship and never have to feel ashamed or responsible for the abuse you are experiencing. Don't stay silent if you or someone you know is experiencing dating violence. Reach out for help. Local support can be found at the Safe Center and the Family Advocacy Network in Kearney and Willow Rising in Grand Island.

Collage believes in the importance of developing healthy relationships. So let's work together to break the dating violence cycle. Join the movement and use your voice to raise awareness about teen dating violence.

Celebrating Friendship and Love: Galentine's and Valentine's Day Ideas

Thu, 02 Feb 2023 20:07:04 GMT

Hey there! February is here, and it's a time to celebrate love and friendship.

Valentine's Day has been around for ages, and it's a time when we can show appreciation for our significant others. But let's not forget about Galentine's Day, dedicated to celebrating the bond and friendship between female friends on February 13th. Despite these holidays being so close, why should we choose between love and friendship? Why not celebrate both? Valentine's and Galentine's Day are great opportunities to honor and appreciate all the meaningful relationships in our lives. So, don't pick sides; let's celebrate both this month!

Here are some ideas from Collage to make a memorable night bringing everyone together:

1. Plan a fun day trip. This could be trying out different coffee shops, exploring your local downtown, or venturing outdoors with a hike or sledding. With so many options available, you're sure to find something that everyone will enjoy.

2. Create a memory book. You can collect pictures, ticket stubs, notes, and other keepsakes from your relationship and put them in a book to look back on. Not only will it be a fun project to work on together, but it will also be a sentimental way to remember all the special moments of your relationship.

3. Organize a dinner with your group. Everyone can bring a dish to share and enjoy a delicious meal together. This can be a great opportunity to bond, catch up, and enjoy each other’s company.

4. Have a movie night . Pick a theme, like romantic comedies or action movies, and meet at the theater. You can make it even more fun by dressing up according to the theme or doing a movie marathon at home with snacks and drinks.

5. Plan a game night. You can play board games, video games, or even organize a tournament. Consider getting prizes for the night to inspire some friendly competition.

Ultimately, Valentine's and Galentine's Day celebrate love and friendship. At Collage, we believe that there’s beauty and value in everyone, and these two holidays are a great time to appreciate and honor the important relationships in your life!

Gaslighting In Relationships

Fri, 13 Jan 2023 01:00:00 GMT

If you spend any time on the self-help side of social media, you’ve probably heard the term “gaslighting” thrown around as it becomes part of the mainstream vocabulary. But what does it really mean to gaslight someone, and how can you defend yourself if it happens to you?

What is "Gaslighting?"
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which someone makes you doubt your thoughts, feelings, and perception of reality. The term is named after the 1944 film, Gaslight , where the main character’s husband slowly convinces her that she is going insane. As in the movie, an abusive person can gain power over you by eroding your self-trust, allowing them to avoid accountability for wrongdoing or making you dependent on them in your decision-making. This can be done through various tactics, like denying events that you know happened, manipulating evidence to make you question your recollection of events, or even planting false memories in your mind.

Recognizing Gaslighting

Gaslighting can be incredibly damaging, as it can cause you to doubt your sanity and even lead to long-term psychological damage. You can protect yourself by learning to recognize it and preparing ways to respond.

Here are some signs that you may be experiencing gaslighting:

You constantly second-guess yourself.
You feel like you’re going crazy or that something is “off,” but you can’t put your finger on it.
You feel isolated and disconnected from others.

Responding to Gaslighting
Once you realize that someone in your life is gaslighting you, it’s important to take action. Here are some steps you can take to respond to gaslighting:

Document what’s happening. Keep a record of the events and conversations that are causing you to doubt yourself. This can help reassure yourself and others that you’re not imagining things.

Set boundaries with the person who is gaslighting you and make it clear that their behavior is unacceptable. This might involve setting limits on how much time you spend with them or telling them that you won’t engage in discussions that make you feel uncomfortable. Some helpful phrases for setting these boundaries can include:

“I was there and know what I saw/heard.”
“I’m not interested in debating what happened with you.”
“I’m making this decision for myself.”
“I hear what you’re saying, and it isn’t what I experienced.”
“I need space, and I’m walking away from this conversation.”

Seek support. It’s crucial to have a support system in place when dealing with gaslighting. This might include friends, family, or a therapist who can provide a safe and supportive space to talk about what’s happening.

Gaslighting can be a difficult and mentally draining experience but remember you have the power to take control of your own reality and seek help when needed. Don’t let anyone make you doubt your own thoughts, feelings, or experiences. In case no one has told you recently, you have incredible value and worth and no one can take that away.

A Parent’s Guide to Sex and Social Media

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 01:00:00 GMT

Social media has been a hot topic for the past decade, especially regarding parenting. According to the Pew Research Center survey, almost half of US teenagers aged 13-17 reported being online 'almost constantly.' So should parents be concerned about what their teens are exposed to on social media?

Social media has many pros for teens, such as connecting with others and being able to express yourself. It also comes with risks such as exposure to harmful content, self-esteem issues, and safety. A recent study revealed that nearly half (46%) of children and teens ages 13-17 saw content on social media that they believe should not be allowed. Even though these teens come across concerning content almost daily, only 7% said they report the posts. 1

Let's start with the facts.

Did you know that most social media platforms have a sex policy, specifically with visual content such as nudity and pornography? Although there are policies, the implementation of these policies aren’t perfect. Protect Young Eyes, an organization that seeks to defend kids from inappropriate and harmful internet content, reported five different hashtags on Instagram linked to pornography a minimum of 50 times over five days. During this length of time, no action was taken by Instagram. 2

Nudity is not the only concern on various platforms. Influencers and regular people are also posting their thoughts about sex. By the time today's young person reaches 19, they have been bombarded by easily accessible, graphic content that is being taught as 'good' sex. Some of these explicit contents are often aggressive and misogynistic and discuss spanking, anal sex, light choking, and much more. 3

Although most schools have some form of sex education, most curriculums focus on avoiding pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases rather than addressing healthy relationships. Unfortunately, many students are turning to social media to learn about sex: it's free, ubiquitous, and private.

So should you have your kids stop using social media entirely? Well, that's up to you, but various resources exist to set up parental locks within social media apps. No tool can replace having an educational and honest conversation about online safety, but setting up parental controls is a great asset. In August of 2022, Popular Science released a great article that helps navigate parental settings within the most common social media apps.

What’s next.

When you're unfamiliar with the social media apps your kids use, it can be challenging to know how to start the discussion. Screen Sanity, an organization that seeks to help families and communities pursue digital health, has created guides that help families take a 'driver's ed approach' to device introduction and safety.

Communicating about social media with your teen is just the start! We encourage you also to start or continue having conversations about sex and relationships with your kids. According to Harvard's ' Making Caring Common' project, subjects such as finding love, keeping love, and dealing with break-ups were questions that 70% of 18-25 year-olds wished their parents had discussed more with them.

Having the discussion.

So, how do you begin the social media conversation with your kids?

First, you'll need to take the most challenging step: start the discussion. This can be awkward and difficult at first, but it gets easier as you continue discussing what your teen or child sees on social media.

Not sure how to start or what questions to ask? The Family Dinner Project has a great blog that can help you start conversations based on specific social media situations. The most beneficial questions are not accusatory but inquisitive instead. Work to minimize the downside and maximize the upside of social media. Then come together for additional conversation where change is needed.

Is talking about sex and social media with your kids awkward and difficult? For most people, it is. But, don’t let that stop you. Start now and just keep building on it. Whether they seem interested or not, most likely, deep down they want to talk about it. You’ve got this!

Relationships During the Holidays

Fri, 02 Dec 2022 01:45:00 GMT

The holidays. For most, it's a time for extra cheer, giving gifts, and snuggling up close to your love. We're often looking for that iconic picture to post on social media. But, even though this time can be one of joy and happiness, it can also be filled with stress and anxiety, especially if you're in a new or uncertain relationship.

Boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé, or undefined. How do you handle the stress the holidays can bring within a relationship?

Gift Expectations

Most of us associate presents with the holidays, and sometimes there can be unrealistic expectations put on gift giving. So how do you navigate through these sometimes choppy waters?

Start with open and honest communication about your wants, needs, and expectations. This discussion may not seem 'romantic' but can help avoid awkward situations. For example, talking about how much money you want to spend and a few gift ideas can help set you both up for success. You may buy small gifts, make sentimental presents for each other, or maybe choose to go on a more elaborate date or adventure! Whatever your decision, make it together and genuine to you.

Meeting the Family

We've all seen those holiday movies. The ones where the new boyfriend or girlfriend meets the family and everything imaginable (and unimaginable) goes wrong! Although families aren't perfect, most of the drama you see in the movies doesn't actually happen in real life. We understand that no family is perfect and some of these gatherings can put you on edge. Whether you’re bringing somebody new to meet your family or it's the third holiday spent together, how do you handle the interaction?

Here are some tips for time spent with family:

Have each other's back. Check on each other often throughout the day, but don't feel you have to stay attached at the hip.
Be yourselves around the family and look to build connections and relationships throughout the time spent together.
Families are unique and may have different customs. Be open to experiencing these new traditions.

Holiday Schedules

The holidays can be packed with family gatherings, parties, or special events you want to attend. And when you're in a relationship, your schedule is multiplied by two!

It may seem too structured, but we encourage you to sit down with your partner and look through your schedule list of gatherings or events. Then, start by organizing these events as need to go, would like to go, or could go. Doing this step can help if you run into any overlapping commitments and help save you from a headache or argument.

Handling Being Single

If you've recently had a breakup or have been single for a while, sometimes the holidays can seem depressing when your social media fills with images of paired-up couples enjoying their cozy dates with hot cocoa. But remember that not everything on social media is real. For instance, a fight might have followed that cute picture.

Even though the holidays can be challenging, use this time to invest in yourself and still create memories! Come up with ideas to bring people together, like going skating, decorating cookies, meeting at a coffee shop, or having an ugly sweater party. One sure way to ruin the season is to focus solely on having a date for every party. Be yourself, even if that self is single for the time being.

The holidays can be an excellent time for creating new memories, connecting with people, and being cheerful. However, sometimes we must change our mindset when encountering the 'most wonderful time of the year.' Learning to accept and embrace reality rather than unrealistic expectations of what the holidays could be can be difficult, but it can also create a wonderful experience.

Stages of Development: What’s Happening Inside my Pregnant Body?

Fri, 18 Nov 2022 01:45:00 GMT

So, you’re pregnant. You might have just gotten used to that fact or are still processing this new reality. Your brain is probably bursting with questions as your baby bump starts to show. What is going on in that pregnant body of yours?

How long am I pregnant?

Typically, we think of a pregnancy lasting 9 months. However, that’s not always the case. A full-term pregnancy is 40 weeks. Depending on when you deliver, you could be pregnant somewhere in-between 9-10 months, which is entirely normal and healthy. These 40 weeks are broken up into 3 trimesters of pregnancy. 1

First Trimester: conception - 12 weeks

What’s happening with my body?

During this time, your body may be experiencing early pregnancy symptoms such as:

Morning sickness
Increased urination
Swollen breasts
Fatigue

What’s happening with the baby?

In the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, embryo cells continue to multiply and form the body. The placenta also develops at this point, which is vital since this organ will carry nutrients, oxygen, and water to the baby.

Physical developments at this point include:

Facial features
Eyes
Ears
Arms & legs
Hair follicles
Mouth
Taste buds 2

Second Trimester: 13 - 28 weeks

What’s happening with my body?

The good news, the second trimester is typically a turning point for you! If you were sick and miserable during the first 12 weeks, you might begin to feel better at this point.

You may experience some of these changes in your body during this time:

Appetite may increase.
May feel baby movements for the first time around 20 weeks.
Your uterus has grown to the height of the belly button around 20 weeks, usually making your pregnancy visible.
The need to urinate may decrease as the uterus grows out of the pelvic cavity, which helps relieve pressure on the bladder. 3

What’s happening with the baby?

By the beginning of your second trimester, the baby is about 3 inches long and weighs around 1 ounce. The baby’s weight will multiply more than seven times over the next few months. That’s a lot of growing!

A few developments during this time include:

Baby’s body and facial movements include kicking, turning side to side, and smiling.
Reflexes such as swallowing and sucking develop.
Fingers and toes now have fingernails, and their prints have formed.
Eyelids begin to open.
Major organs, such as the liver and pancreas, become stronger.

Third Trimester: 29 - 40 weeks

What’s happening with my body?

During the last trimester, your body is starting to prepare for delivery. As a result, you may feel uncomfortable as you continue to gain weight and possibly have pre-labor contractions (called Braxton-Hicks).

You may experience some of these changes in your body during this time:

Swelling of the ankles, hands, and have may happen as you continue to retain fluids.
Backaches may start or increase as your torso pushes out with the baby’s growth.
Increased urination will return as pressure from the baby is placed on the bladder.
Stretch marks may appear on the stomach, breasts, thighs, and buttocks. 4

What’s happening with the baby?

The baby is also in preparation mode, ready for delivery. The baby’s position changes typically during this time to start facing itself head down. By the end of the third trimester, the baby will be around 19-21 inches long and weigh 6-10 pounds.

A few developments during this time include:

The baby can see, hear, suck on its thumb, and cry.
The organs fully develop; the lungs completely mature at 38-40 weeks.
Bones of the skull remain soft for easier passage through the birth canal.
A creamy protective coating called vernix caseosa covers the baby’s skin.

A lot happens in your body during these 40 weeks! It’s important to remember that every journey looks a little different. Some may experience challenging changes, while others seem unaffected. Pregnancy can bring out an inner strength you didn't know was possible. We believe in you and are here for you whenever you need us.

Guy's Perspective: Unexpected

Fri, 04 Nov 2022 00:45:00 GMT

Unexpected. This was unexpected. She just texted you that her period is two weeks late, which means she might be pregnant. Yep, pregnant. Your mind kicks into overdrive, and questions begin flooding your head…

I never thought this would happen to me. Now what?

Discovering that your partner could be pregnant can be overwhelming. Remember, not every missed or late period means that there's a pregnancy. So it's crucial that your partner confirms if she is pregnant.

Collage can provide a free and confidential pregnancy test. If that test is positive, a limited obstetrical (OB) ultrasound can be offered here at our center by a sonographer. This ultrasound confirms the viability of the pregnancy and reveals how far along she is.

Do I have a say if she's considering an abortion?

It is her right to choose to have an abortion without the permission of the baby's father. Even though you don’t have complete control of this situation, you can still have a say in the outcome of the pregnancy. The fact is, she's dealing with a lot of the same questions that are going through your mind.

How will I support the child?
What will people think of me?
How will my parents react?

Your support during this time is crucial as she decides the outcome of the pregnancy. You have the opportunity to come alongside her and walk through some of these concerns.

How do I support her?

Initiating a conversation is a great start. Talking through your options and listening to each other's concerns is crucial. Keeping the pregnancy a secret may create unneeded tension during an already stressful situation. So, opening up to your parents or other close friends in your life can be a great way to build support.

Remember the importance of listening. Take time to hear her fears and how she’s feeling. Although taking the time to listen is essential, don't be afraid to speak up during these conversations. We've heard many women express they wanted to hear their partner say, "I don't know what will happen to us in the future, but I do know we can provide a future for our child." She may not want to pressure you to do something like saying yes to her and this pregnancy. However, if you feel that you do want to step into fatherhood, you should let her know.

Where can we go to learn more about our options?

Collage is a safe and confidential place where you and your partner can ask any questions you may have. Our trained staff can help you look at all of your options and answer questions about abortion, adoption, and parenting. Ultimately, you are the only individuals who can make the final decision. Still, we're here to provide help and answers during this time of uncertainty.

She doesn't act like she wants me involved. Should I just bail?

The fact is, everybody handles stressful situations differently. You may see her frustration or anger as a sign that she doesn't want you involved, but that feeling may be born from the worry of an unexpected pregnancy. At this point, you have a chance to step up and take responsibility for the circumstances. This child is a combination of both of you, so it's essential to figure out together what the best outcome of the pregnancy is for all three of you.

What if we disagree on the options?

It's crucial to be honest with each other as you discuss your options. Don't pressure her to do something she doesn't want to do. Remember, this pregnancy is fully impacting her future. If you encounter constant disagreements, consider seeking guidance from a parent or close friend.

We encourage you to start talking with your partner and take your time in making this decision. Remember, you don’t have to go through this journey alone. You may have a family member or friend that cares for you and wants to help. The staff at Collage is also here to walk alongside you and your partner as you learn more about your options.

Grieving the Loss of an Unexpected Pregnancy

Fri, 21 Oct 2022 00:30:00 GMT

Finding out about an unexpected pregnancy can produce many different kinds of emotions: scared, panicked, ashamed, uncertain, and so on. It can take time to reach the point of accepting this new possible reality. But what happens when all of a sudden, this possibility is no longer happening?

A miscarriage or loss of a pregnancy can bring up so many varying feelings and physical pain. Some feel guilt, sadness, profound grief, or any combination of emotions. But on the other hand, somebody experiencing an unexpected pregnancy may even feel a sense of relief. What was once a point of concern, stress, and fear, is no longer a ‘problem.’ Although that reaction may seem wrong and harsh, we definitely don’t judge you for those thoughts. We’re all human; we all deal with the unexpected differently.

Dealing with the Grief

We want to remind you that a miscarriage is a very real hurt that many women and men struggle with. No matter the length of your pregnancy, time doesn’t diminish your pain. Don’t try to hurry up and get over this loss. Take the time you need to mourn.

Some people choose to honor a pregnancy loss through different acts of remembrances. For example, you can symbolize the loss by getting a tattoo, purchasing something like a stuffed animal or jewelry, or planting a tree. Others want a ceremony where they can have a specific moment to remember their loss. You’ll know what you want to do. Choose something that fits you and your family. Sometimes naming the baby you lost can help with a remembrance by being able to call the baby by a name rather than by ‘it’ or ‘the baby.’

Talking about pregnancy loss can be difficult, but it can offer another healing avenue. This can be done by talking to someone close, joining a support group, journaling, or even writing a blog to share your experience with the world.

We care about you, and we know that your grieving process is complicated. No, you’ll never forget the child you lost, but you will get to a point where it’ll be easier. We want you to know that.

Student Athletes Facing Pregnancy

Fri, 07 Oct 2022 00:15:00 GMT

Student Athletes Facing Pregnancy

Athletes face lots of pressure. Pressure to be the best they can be on and off the field. With 80% of all student-athletes receiving an academic grant or need-based scholarship, there’s also financial pressure to stay in competition during college. 1

With this intense focus, sports participation can be an excellent way for students to stay engaged during college. In fact, between all three divisions, there is an average of 83% academic success rate for students involved in athletics. Pregnancy rates are also significantly reduced in athletes or their partners. It is estimated that 10-15% of female student-athletes and partners of male student-athletes are affected by pregnancy each year. 2 This is a significant decrease compared to the estimated 25% of the entire student population currently pregnant or parenting during college. 3

But what happens when there’s an unexpected pregnancy as a student-athlete? Can you still compete? Can you keep your scholarship? Will you have support from your college athletic department?

The National Collegiate Athletic Association’s (NCAA) core purpose is “to govern competition in a fair, safe, equitable and sportsmanlike manner, and to integrate intercollegiate athletics into higher education so that the educational experience of the student-athlete is paramount.” With this in mind, the NCAA created the Model Pregnancy Policy to ensure that female or male student-athletes don’t have to face discrimination that would inhibit their physical/mental health or academic achievement.

Every NCAA college must adhere to the NCAA guidelines and policies. Even if a college doesn’t have a written pregnancy policy in its student-athlete handbook, the Model Pregnancy Policy in the NCAA Handbook still applies.

Pregnancy with Female Student-Athletes

For a female athlete, becoming pregnant brings up many overwhelming concerns:

Can I still participate in my sport while pregnant?
If I can’t play, do I lose my scholarship?
Can I come back and play after being pregnant?
What will my coach and teammates think?
How will I handle school, sports, and a baby?
Do I have medical care?

Can I participate in my sport during and after pregnancy?

As soon as you learn that you’re pregnant, we encourage you to share this with someone you trust and feel would provide support. It’s vital to discuss this with your coach and athletic trainer, as they should be informed of the physical changes occurring within your body.

Pregnant student-athletes need monitoring during the early stages of pregnancy. During this time, a medical professional would be concerned with overheating, level of exertion, risk of injury, and pre-pregnancy health status. Even with some of these concerns, the NCAA supports that high athletic activity – with professional healthcare monitoring – is generally safe up to 14 weeks of pregnancy. An athlete can also start competing 6-8 weeks after delivery if she meets the training and medical guidelines.

How am I going to pay for the medical bills?

Title IX Regulations require institutions to treat pregnancy as they treat other temporary illnesses or injuries. Due to this, medical benefits and insurance must be equally available to pregnant student-athletes. In addition, some schools provide assistance with medical expenses related to pregnancy, regardless of athletic status.

Do I lose a year of playing?

According to NCAA bylaws, due to ‘hardship,’ a student-athlete may be granted an additional year of competition, typically referred to as a ‘red-shirted’ year. In addition, a pregnant student who competed during, but did not complete the season, may be granted a hardship waiver.

Will I lose my scholarship(s)?

A pregnant student-athlete’s scholarship is protected from being reduced or withdrawn if you remain in good standing academically and don’t withdraw voluntarily. NCAA bylaws offer numerous ways of protecting scholarships once the letter of agreement has been signed. Just as a student who has suffered an injury or illness is allowed to keep receiving their award, a pregnant student-athlete’s scholarship is also protected.

Pregnancy with Male Student-Athletes

Although a male student-athlete isn’t dealing with the physical body changes that occur with a pregnant female-athlete, the pregnancy can still affect his life. Pressure caused by trying to juggle medical appointments, support for his partner, academics, athletics, and possible parenting can affect academic and athletic performance.

Some concerns may be:

Can I take a year off to help my partner?
If I can’t play, do I lose my scholarship?
Can I come back and play after taking a year off?
What will my coach and teammates think?
How will I handle school, sports, and a baby?
Will my partner have medical care?

Most college athletes are used to encountering the unexpected within their sport. You train to prepare for those challenges and learn to face them head-on. Most of us don’t feel as equipped when facing an unexpected pregnancy. If you suspect that you or your partner is pregnant, your first step should be to confirm the pregnancy. Collage provides free pregnancy testing as well as limited OB ultrasounds. These medical services can get you started by providing important information. We’d love to help you along on your journey so give us a call.

Five Alcohol Safety Tips

Fri, 02 Sep 2022 00:00:00 GMT

For many college students heading back to school means new roommates, classes, fall sports, all-nighters, hanging out with friends, and parties. While most of these activities might seem harmless, fun, and even expected of a college student, excessive alcohol use can pose many safety risks, especially for women.

We know you're excited to see your friends, blow off some steam and have a good time. But we also know that going out without a plan can turn what was meant to be a fun evening into a nightmare.

Did you know that…

At least 50% of student sexual assaults involve alcohol.
Approximately 90% of rapes perpetrated by an acquaintance involve alcohol.
About 43% of sexual assault events involve alcohol use by the victim; 69% involve alcohol use by the perpetrator. 1

At Collage, we care about you and want to provide you with helpful information about alcohol consumption and its risks to your sexual and emotional health. So, here are five safety tips that can help keep you and your friends out of risky situations that involve alcohol and sex.

1. Avoid Excessive Alcohol.

Low-risk drinking is thinking about your limit before getting to the party. Limiting alcoholic beverages to one drink per hour is recommended, a maximum of three for gals and four for guys for the entire evening. Alternating drinking with food and water is also a good option.

High-risk drinking can lead to excessive alcohol consumption. Common high-risk drinking activities are drinking games, chugging, doing shots, and mixing drinks with drugs or energy drinks. 2

2. Have a Group.

Ever heard of the old saying, 'there's safety in numbers?' Going to a party with a group of friends to act as lookouts for each other is a great idea! A way to keep safe within your group is to have a code word that will help tip off your friends if you feel like you are in an unsafe situation. Then, if anyone says or texts the code word, try to help get that friend out of the problem.

If you need help…

If you find yourself in a situation where you’ve been sexually assaulted, contact Campus Police or the Local Police immediately.

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, Family Advocacy Network is a great resource in Kearney as is Willow Rising in Grand Island. If you think you may be pregnant and you want someone to talk to, please contact us . We want to be there for you.

Five Things Every Student Needs to Know About Chlamydia & Gonorrhea

Tue, 09 Aug 2022 19:02:21 GMT

STIs and STDs (Sexually Transmitted Infections and Diseases) are a topic you may not want to discuss, but let’s face it, it’s a serious problem.

For example, did you know that 1 in 4 college students have had an STD? And the CDC estimates that 1 in 5 people in the U.S. has an STI. To clarify, an infection becomes a disease when symptoms are present.

With over 66% of new chlamydial infections occurring in youth aged 15-24 years, chlamydia is the most commonly reported bacterial STD among young people. 1 Gonorrhea is the second most commonly reported bacterial STD in the United States. More than half of these infections occurring in individuals 15-24 years of age. 2

So, let’s start the conversation.

1 - What are Chlamydia and Gonorrhea?

Chlamydia is a bacterial infection transmitted through sexual contact. Gonorrhea (also called the “clap” or “drip”) is a bacterial infection that often co-exists with chlamydia (but not always) and is also transmitted through sexual contact.

These STDs are most commonly spread by having vaginal, oral, or anal sex with someone infected. If your sex partner is male, you can still get chlamydia and gonorrhea even if he doesn’t ejaculate. If you have unprotected sex with somebody infected, you can get that STD again, even if you had a past treatment.

Chlamydia and gonorrhea can have additional consequences if you’re pregnant. Infections can pass through your birth canal to your baby, causing severe issues during childbirth and beyond.

2 - How Will I Feel if I Have Chlamydia or Gonorrhea?

There’s no simple answer to this question. With chlamydia and gonorrhea, there are often no symptoms, especially for women. Some studies estimate that up to 95 percent of women and approximately 90 percent of men with a confirmed infection will not develop symptoms.

Why is it such a big deal if most people don’t have symptoms? Well, this is one of the reasons why chlamydia and gonorrhea are among the most prevalent STDs. These diseases spread rapidly because many people don’t know they have it, so they continue to pass it on, not knowing that they have infected others.

You might wonder how anybody can tell that they have either of these STDs. The fact is, some symptoms can still show up with both of these diseases.

Chlamydia symptoms can start 5-6 days after being infected. In the infrequent event that symptoms exist, a woman could possibly experience painful intercourse, abnormal vaginal discharge, or burning urination. A man may have abnormal discharge from his penis and painful, burning urination.

Gonorrhea in women often goes undetected because they think they have either a mild vaginal or bladder infection. If they have symptoms, they initially include dysuria (meaning it hurts to pee), increased vaginal discharge, or vaginal bleeding between periods. However, women with gonorrhea risk developing severe complications from the infection, regardless of the presence or severity of symptoms.

If men have symptoms of gonorrhea, there is a urethral infection with dysuria or a white, yellow, or green urethral discharge that usually appears 1-14 days after infection. Men with gonorrhea may also complain of testicular or scrotal pain.

Occasionally men and women can experience pain, swelling, discharge, and bleeding from the rectum with chlamydia and gonorrhea.

3 - How Do I Know for Sure That I Have Chlamydia or Gonorrhea?

You have to get tested; there are no other options. You might already be anxious about making that appointment with thoughts running through your head: How will I pay? This is so embarrassing; what if somebody finds out? At Collage, we provide confidential testing and treatment for chlamydia and gonorrhea at no cost to you. ³

Being tested for both of these infections is very simple. You’ll meet with a licensed health care professional (LHCP) who will ask you some questions to find out how we can best help you, and then you’ll need to give a urine sample. When we get your results back from the lab (generally 5-7 days) your LHCP will call you with your results and set up a follow up appointment for treatment if you test positive.

4 - What Happens if I Don’t Get Treated for Chlamydia or Gonorrhea?

An STD is not something you should ignore. You’re placing your sexual health and future at risk, as well as any current or future partner’s health. If left untreated, the repercussions can be serious.

With chlamydia and gonorrhea, women are at risk for Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID), infertility, and potentially an ectopic pregnancy.

For men, these infections can spread to the tube that carries sperm from the testicles, causing pain and fever. It’s rare but possible that both chlamydia and gonorrhea can prevent a man from being able to have children. In addition, if gonorrhea is left untreated in men, it can spread to the blood and cause Disseminated Gonococcal Infection (DGI). The characteristics of DGI are arthritis, tenosynovitis, and/or dermatitis. This condition can be life-threatening.

5 - Can Chlamydia and Gonorrhea be Treated if I Test Positive?

Thankfully, there is a treatment for both diseases. However, it is crucial that if you do test positive for these STDs, you get medication.

For these treatments to be successful, you need to follow these directions:

Take all the medication prescribed.
Don’t have any sexual contact during treatment.
Don’t have any sexual contact for 7-10 days after completing treatment.

These standards apply to your partner(s) also. You should retest at 3 months if possible but no later than 1 year after being treated.

How Can I Make Sure Not to Get Chlamydia or Gonorrhea?

Most people have heard that wearing a condom during sex will protect you from getting an STD, but condoms aren’t perfect. There’s only one fool-proof way to avoid contracting any STDs. That’s to refrain from having any form of sex until you are in a mutually exclusive relationship with an uninfected partner.

Some people think STDs aren’t a big deal, especially since bacterial STDs like chlamydia and gonorrhea can be treated. We believe otherwise. STDs can cause strains in your relationship, both physically and emotionally. There can also be harsh health consequences if an STD is left untreated.

We’re here to help you if you think you’ve contracted chlamydia or gonorrhea. Feel free to reach out to Collage to continue the conversation.

The Abortion Pill - What are the Medical Facts?

Thu, 04 Aug 2022 19:07:06 GMT

You see the positive pregnancy test, and your emotions are all over the place…panic, tears, anger, fear. You start asking yourself, ‘What am I going to do?

We realize that experiencing an unexpected pregnancy can be scary. It’s natural to look up different options about what you can do. Before you make any decisions, we want to remind you that you’re not alone. We’re here to listen and provide answers to any questions about the situation that you’re in. Our intent is not to tell you what to do but to give you the information you may be looking for before you decide what to do about your unexpected pregnancy.

With the abortion pill currently being offered through the mail, maybe this seems like an easy option.

What is the Abortion Pill?

To clarify, the term ‘abortion pill’ is slightly misleading as it requires taking two medications (in the form of pills) prescribed by a doctor. The first medication, mifepristone, is taken by mouth, and the second medication, misoprostol, is taken by mouth or vaginally. This is only an option for women who are less than 11 weeks pregnant by LMP. 1

How does the Abortion Pill Work?

It’s not like taking something for a headache. You don’t just pop a pill and, within 30 minutes, aren’t pregnant.

The first medication causes your body to block progesterone, which is necessary for the continuation of pregnancy. When this happens, the embryo cannot stay attached. The second medication causes your uterus to contract and expel the embryo.

This will cause your body will go through the following:

Bleeding and cramping will start 1-4 hours after taking the second medication.
Heavy bleeding with blood clots.
Heavy cramping for several hours.
A low fever or chills can last about a day after taking the second pill.
Possibility of feeling tired, nausea, dizziness, and having diarrhea. 2

Is the Abortion Pill Safe?

The reality is any medical or surgical procedure always has potential risks. Some risks of taking the the abortion pill can include:

Heavy bleeding that will not stop.
Diarrhea and digestive pain.
Pregnancy tissue that does not pass entirely from the body, making surgery necessary.
Infection.
Nausea and vomiting.
Allergic reaction to the medications. 3

How Will I Feel Afterwards?

Every woman handles emotions and changes in their life differently. Any pregnancy loss (intentional or unintentional) will interrupt the hormone cycle, which can cause long-term emotional, relational, and/or medical health effects.

After a loss, some women experience emotions ranging from guilt to regret to shame. This can sometimes lead to clinical depression, affecting your energy, sleep, feelings, and a loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities. Suicidal thoughts or self-harm can also affect somebody dealing with depression.

What Should My Next Step Be?

Your first step should be to confirm that you really are pregnant. We can help you by providing a free lab-quality pregnancy test and ultrasound to ensure that you have a viable pregnancy. A viable pregnancy means an embryo is implanted in your uterus and has a heartbeat. An ultrasound will also reveal how far along you are, affecting your options.

Unexpected pregnancies can reveal a lot of uncertainties in your life. You may feel pressure to decide quickly. Still, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to make that decision today. Take a deep breath and do some more research to help you choose what’s best for you.

We’re here to help you walk and talk through your decisions. We’re dedicated to providing medical information and resources throughout your journey.

If you’ve already had an abortion and find yourself struggling in any way, we have staff who know what you’re going through. We’re here to listen and help give you direction towards healing.

Feel free to call us today and schedule a visit at no cost to you.

Six Signs You’ve Found the Wrong One

Thu, 21 Jul 2022 12:06:00 GMT

You might’ve just met somebody that you’re interested in. Maybe you’ve had a few dates or hung out occasionally. Regardless of where you’re at in this relationship, you might wonder if they’re right or wrong for you. Should you continue pursuing the relationship or pump the brakes?

We believe in encouraging and supporting healthy relationships. However, sometimes it takes a pros and cons list to reveal possible concerning characteristics.

Here are a few signs to be on the lookout for when deciding if you’re in a relationship with a Miss. or Mr. Wrong:

1. Lack of listening skills.

Have you ever told a story and realized that nobody has been listening? That’s frustrating and can cause a lot of self-doubts. Maybe you find your significant other zoning out, checking social media, or texting friends while you’re trying to speak. These traits are acceptable in small amounts, but if it’s constantly happening…well, they’re not worth it! This is a sign that you might be in the wrong relationship.

2. Exclusivity Concerns

Notice wandering eyes when an attractive person walks by? It’s not wrong to notice somebody, but it can be concerning if it turns into lingering glances. Most of us want a boyfriend or girlfriend that will appreciate us from both the inside and out. It’s a red flag if you’re being treated as an object or if it seems like outer beauty is their only interest.

3. Creating isolation.

You might enjoy hanging out with multiple friends or family during your free time. It’s healthy to have those diverse relationships. Unfortunately, some individuals may get jealous of you spending time with other people. They might try to keep you from seeing your regular friends or family. When this happens, you can feel isolated and out of touch with your other relationships. If this person is the right one for you, they’ll want you to hang out with others, with or without them tagging along. You need to consider ending the relationship if you see evidence of controlling behavior.

4. Trust issues.

Sometimes boyfriends and girlfriends have trust issues because of previous relationships. Looking through your phone or constantly checking up on you are warning signs of a lack of trust. It may have started off cute and playful, but this can quickly evolve into possessive behavior. When somebody starts dominating, their behaviors can quickly escalate from just checking up on you to invading your privacy. If your new significant other is not secure enough to trust you, it’s time to move on.

5. Moody, grumpy, rude.

We all have those days when we’re just not fun to be around. That’s called being human. If you start noticing that you’re dating an Eeyore who seems never to be happy, that can be exhausting. Although it feels great to have somebody tell you that you ‘made their day,’ it’s not healthy to be in a relationship where they tell you that ‘you’re the only good thing in their life.’ You want a person who can stand on their own, who sees your presence in their life as an addition, not a lifeline. If you’re the sole means of happiness for this individual, value yourself enough to part ways.

6. Unwanted pressure.

There will probably come a time in new or established relationships where the physical relationship boundaries conversation comes up. Everybody has different limits that they’d prefer within a romantic relationship. Suppose your partner starts pressuring you to cross those personal lines. In that case, that’s a significant clue that they don’t respect your decisions. If they’re the right person for you, they’ll be patient and not try to force you into something you’re not ready for. Somebody who only looks out for themselves is a red flag for a trusting relationship.

All relationships are tricky. Whether looking at a potential relationship or already dating, it’s wise to evaluate whether it’s healthy or unhealthy. You deserve to be in a beneficial, uplifting relationship where you can feel free to be who you are. So stay strong and take time to notice the wrong.

What Do You Mean by ‘Confidential’?

Thu, 07 Jul 2022 12:03:00 GMT

Ever ask a friend to keep a secret? You might have told them an embarrassing story or poured your heart out. Regardless of the information shared, you expect them not to tell other people. Sometimes that friend is trustworthy, and other times they barely last a day before telling your secret to everyone.

You or a friend may be thinking about reaching out to Collage but are scared that we might be like that untrustworthy friend who will talk behind your back. So, how confidential are our services?

Our Commitment to Confidentiality

At Collage, you’re more than just a client; you’re a remarkable person we would love to connect with. You may be facing a difficult situation, and we want to set your mind and heart at ease. Our commitment to you is to keep your information private.

These questions might be floating through your mind:

Will you tell my mom or dad?
Will my friends find out?
What will you do with my medical information?

The answer to all those questions is that your information is held in strict and absolute confidence. The only exception to this is when required by law and when necessary to protect you or others against imminent harm. Essentially, you choose who you want your circle of trust to be, and we respect those choices.

Our commitment to you goes past just confidentiality. We promise to treat you with kindness and compassion. We’re here to listen to all your concerns, providing honest and open answers. You can count on us for accurate information regarding pregnancy, abortion, STDs, and related issues.

We all need safe people and places in our lives. So, we’re here for you if you need someone. Please reach out to us with any of your uncertainties or questions.

Stressing About Your Body Image During Pregnancy?

Fri, 17 Jun 2022 00:00:00 GMT

You may be just a few weeks or months along, and your body feels like it has been invaded. Your boobs might hurt, you may feel sick to your stomach, or you may seem like you’re peeing every hour of the day. You may not see any significant changes yet, but you know the day is coming when you’re going to look puffy and might not be able to see your feet anymore.

Your body is going through a journey of changes, and it’s normal to be scared or concerned about how this pregnancy might make you look and feel. Choosing not to stress about your body image during this time can be freeing.

What are some good body image practices to have during your pregnancy?

Prepare Your Mind for the Physical Changes

Your body starts to change from the very beginning of pregnancy. A lot is going on in there with that developing baby of yours. The sooner you understand what’s physically happening, the faster you can prepare yourself emotionally for those changes.

There seems to be an overwhelming amount to learn about your changing body and what it needs to support your baby. Medical blogs can be an excellent resource for learning more about your developing body. Collage also has some great materials in our offices that are available to pick up when you come in for your appointment. Although it may seem daunting, the more you know, the less scary these changes will be when your body starts preparing for birth.

Maintain a Healthy Weight

Pregnancy is NOT the time to go on a diet or overeat. “I don’t want to get fat!” is a commonly voiced concern. Pregnancy isn’t like getting that freshman 15; your weight gain has a purpose. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to pregnancy weight gain. Your pre-pregnancy weight, body mass index (BMI), and overall health play a role in what weight gain is right for you. 1

Eating healthy promotes good weight gain and provides the nutrition both your body and baby need to grow. Our blog post, Three Types of Food to Avoid While Pregnant , has some great information about eating healthy during pregnancy.

Eating unhealthy or having an eating disorder can cause multiple complications during pregnancy; some of these can include:

Premature labor
Low birth weight
Stillbirth or fetal death
Increased risk of cesarean birth
Delayed fetal growth
Respiratory problems
Gestational diabetes
Complications during labor
Depression
Miscarriage
Preeclampsia

Approximately seven million women in the US struggle with an eating disorder. If this is you, we highly encourage you to share this information with your doctor. The more your health care professional understands you and your nutritional and emotional needs, the more they can provide the care you deserve. These facts can seem scary and overwhelming. Be reassured that women who battle eating disorders can have healthy babies if they maintain normal weight gain throughout pregnancy. 2

Get Support and Stay Positive

Staying positive about your body during this time can be difficult. Avoid comparing yourself to others, especially while you’re pregnant. Your body is going through an amazing journey of development; learn to see the beauty in that. Even if that beauty sometimes comes in a round belly, swollen ankles, and puffy face.

What you’re doing is challenging and brave. We know that during this time, it’s tough to see that you’re developing a strength that will make you more beautiful than you already are! Sometimes, it can be hard to find support, but we’re here to answer the hard questions, believe in you, and be your encourager.

Remember, your body is beautiful before, during, and after pregnancy.

Summer Relationships

Fri, 03 Jun 2022 00:00:00 GMT

Summer: a time for relaxation, days spent soaking up the sun and hanging out with your friends. It’s the time most of us mentally check out because that’s what you need when you’re on break from school. But, for many, this season is the time for romance, whether you’re just interested in a summer fling, a few dates, or possibly finding a long-term relationship.

You may have experienced a hot, steamy summer relationship or fantasized about it happening. In those cases, it’s easy to listen to our hearts rather than our head’s warnings when it comes to summer love.

Summer should be a time of enjoyment and renewal, not one filled with regrets. So here are four tips for navigating those potential relationships.

Don’t Settle for Good Enough

Sometimes we use relationships to boost our self-esteem or keep up with our friends. But unfortunately, lowering dating standards to fit in with the crowd can cause hurt and pain in the long run. So, if your radar is going off when you get asked out, trust your instincts and say ‘no.’ Here’s a mantra to live by: you deserve better! See your worth, stand firm in your decisions, and don’t let somebody talk you into something you’re not ready for.

Have Fun, but Be Safe

Summer dates can be exciting! The best thing you can do for yourself is to have a game plan for those times. Being alone with a guy may seem daring and fun, but let’s be safe and think through some precautions. Seclusion can be dangerous, especially with someone you don’t know well. Always let someone know where you’re going to be, and have your cell phone and cash with you if you need to leave.

Have Realistic Expectations

Long walks on the beach, sharing kisses in a secluded spot, finding that soul mate… doesn’t that sound like a dream? Well, it probably is. When we have those unrealistic expectations, they consume our thoughts, and we try to make that dream a reality. Don’t look at every encounter as an opportunity to find a new relationship. Relax, it’s summer. Spend those days experiencing life instead of obsessing over a fantasy.

Enjoy Time with Your Friends

Remember, summer is not just about new romances; it can be a great time to unwind and spend quality time with your friends. Go have adventures! Hike, bike, soak up the sun, and make some lifetime memories. Enjoy the people who make you feel alive; those are the lasting relationships that matter most. Who knows, maybe someone special is already in your friend group.

If you need somebody to talk to, we’re always a phone call or email away. We hope you have a fun, memorable summer!

Co-Parenting After An Unexpected Pregnancy

Sun, 20 Dec 2020 00:53:00 GMT

You’re facing an unexpected pregnancy, but your relationship with the father is over. Can you possibly parent this child together even though you aren’t together? Yes. Though it might be tricky, co-parenting after an unexpected pregnancy is possible.

First, if you’re single and unexpectedly pregnant, you aren’t alone. Each year in the United States there are approximately 1.5 million babies born to unmarried moms . It might seem overwhelming, but you can do this! One and a half million other moms do this each year, and you can do it too.

Next, even if you and the father of your baby decide not to get married, he can be actively involved in your baby’s life. Fathers do have rights , but they need to take legal action to protect and exercise those rights. If the father expresses interest in co-parenting, you’d be better off working out a plan with him, rather than being forced into it by a court.

So how can you make this work?

How can you successfully co-parent with someone you barely dated?

Take a parenting class together. Since both of you are brand-new to parenting, you can learn together. Taking a class together can also help make sure you’re both on the same page about important parenting decisions. It will give you opportunities to talk through parenting styles and options with the help and guidance of a professional.

Communicate. Healthy, straightforward communication will be vital. Be up front about your expectations and your limitations. Honestly communicate with kindness, keeping in mind that your child is most important.

Stay on the same page. Technology can help keep you on the same page with schedules and lists. There are several different apps that make it easy to share calendars, custody schedules, activities, appointments, feeding schedules, and medical information. You can minimize disruption to your child’s routine when you stay on the same page by sharing all the important information.

Accept that you aren’t in control. Even if you communicate clearly and honestly express your expectations or wishes, you can’t control what happens at the other parent’s home. As long as your child is safe and is being cared for, you’ll just have to accept that you don’t get to call the shots at the other home. You and your child’s father may parent differently in some ways, and that’s probably OK. Even parents who are married have different strengths and weaknesses or just different styles of parenting. Usually, children benefit from these differences. Trust that your way isn’t the only way.

Keep your child as the priority. As long as both of you keep your child as the top priority, your baby is going to be alright. It’s in your child’s best interest to have meaningful healthy relationships with both parents, so it’s helpful to keep this in mind as you interact with your child’s father. Speak of him respectfully in front of your child. Be kind to him. And don’t use your child as a pawn to manipulate him. You’re a parent now, and your child is the priority. Put aside your own negative feelings or wounds in order to do what’s best for your child.

You may have other questions or need some more practical resources or support. We’re here for you. Please call today to schedule a confidential visit. We’ll be happy to listen to your concerns, answer your questions, and point you in the direction of the resources you’ll need.

This might be really overwhelming, but you’re doing the hard things because you love your baby. That’s a great first step to becoming an awesome mom!

Is It A Yeast Infection Or An STD?

Tue, 24 Nov 2020 20:54:00 GMT

Nobody wants to deal with vaginal-related irritations — especially if you’re not sure exactly what’s going on. Burning? Itching? Discharge? Is it a yeast infection or a sexually transmitted disease (STD)? The physical symptoms and the emotional worry can be a lot. So – what’s the difference between the two? And what should you do if you have symptoms?

Yeast Infection:

Nearly every woman has a yeast infection at some time in her life. What are the symptoms of a yeast infection ? Burning, itching, painful sex, pain when going to the bathroom, soreness, and a thick white discharge that doesn’t have a bad smell. Not everyone has all the symptoms, and you could have mild symptoms or very severe ones.

What causes a yeast infection? The fungus Candida Albicans is naturally present in the vaginal region of healthy women. But when there is too much of the fungus, a yeast infection occurs. Keeping the perfect balance can be tricky, so yeast infections are pretty common. According to the Mayo Clinic, three out of every four women have a yeast infection at some point.

Can I get a yeast infection from having sex? Yes, you can. Yeast infections aren’t considered sexually transmitted infections because you can get them in other ways. But if your partner has a yeast infection, you can also get a yeast infection through sexual contact.

Because yeast infections are so common, many women automatically assume that any vaginal burning, itching, and discharge are because of a yeast infection and attempt to treat it with over-the-counter medication. But it’s important to see your healthcare provider because some STDs have similar symptoms, and the treatment is not the same.

STDs:

Chlamydia, trichomoniasis, and gonorrhea all can cause inflammation and are sometimes confused with a yeast infection. Trichomoniasis can cause a serious itching sensation. Usually, the itching progresses to pain when going to the bathroom and pain during sex – but occasionally, a yeast infection can cause those same symptoms. These STDs may cause a discharge that is green or yellow and smells bad. With some other STDs, like herpes, you may even have some visible sores down there. So if you see sores or notice your discharge is yellow or green and has an unpleasant smell, it may be an STD. Any time you have a vaginal discharge that seems abnormal for you , you should talk to your doctor about it.

So do you have to see a doctor?

If you regularly have yeast infections and you know your symptoms are consistent with that, then it’s probably safe to treat the yeast infection with over-the-counter anti-fungal medications. But if your symptoms are new or different, it’s best to see a medical professional and get an accurate diagnosis. Or if you try an at-home treatment and your symptoms aren’t better within a week, it’s best to go ahead and see your healthcare provider.

Itching, burning, soreness, and discharge from our private areas can be embarrassing, and we may be tempted to put off seeing a doctor. But if left untreated, yeast infections can get much worse, eventually causing open or raw areas in your vaginal area. Untreated STDs can cause chronic abdominal and pelvic pain, pregnancy complications, and infertility.

Did we answer all your questions?

If you need more information, contact us through this website or call us in our Kearney office (308) 234-9880 or in Grand Island (308) 675-2217. We will protect your privacy and answer your questions or point you in the direction of resources with complete confidentiality.

How Does Abortion Affect Men?

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 17:50:00 GMT

When we talk about abortion, it’s almost always in terms of women’s rights or how women are affected. Of course, this makes sense because the woman is the one who is pregnant for forty weeks and has to deliver a baby. But men are affected by it as well. And we think there’s room in the conversation to talk about that.

First, let’s talk about the men who’ve just found out about an unexpected pregnancy and how the abortion decision could affect you. Then we’ll talk about men who’ve already been impacted by a decision.

If you’re facing a surprise pregnancy, your partner might be considering ending the pregnancy . What can you do? Legally, you do not have a say. The courts have decided that, because the stakes are higher for women, and pregnancy and abortion affects a woman more directly, the woman has the sole choice in the matter. She doesn’t even have to notify you. So legally, you don’t have a part in the decision. But practically, you do have a role. If your partner tells you she is pregnant, you have an opportunity to be a part of the decision. So what can you do?

Listen in a way that honors your partner, and be honest about your own feelings. If you’re opposed to the option of ending the pregnancy, speak up in a kind and respectful way. Have all the hard conversations with honesty and integrity so that you won’t have any regrets later. Say everything you need to say. Offer everything you have to offer. This is the moment to step up and take ownership of the situation and be as honest as you possibly can be. Often, women say that if their partner is supportive and willing to co-parent, it makes a difference in their choice. So your words and actions can definitely impact your partner’s decisions.

Talk through your options with people who can give wise advice. Talk to a medical professional, but also talk to a counselor or to someone who has been in a similar situation. Consider all the options and listen to their experiences and advice. Perhaps some concern that frightens you the most will be calmed or eliminated through those conversations.

If you and your partner choose abortion, it doesn’t magically make the entire situation go away. True, she won’t be pregnant anymore, and you won’t have a child to raise. But there are lingering effects . As with any medical procedure, your partner could have medical complications. And it’s common for couples who’ve had abortions to experience grief. Some men and women experience depression, anxiety, and even PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). The emotional side effects can be especially stressful on a relationship because it’s easy for blame or resentment to take root. Many couples make this choice thinking they’ll preserve their relationship, but oftentimes it increases problems and leads to their relationship ending.

If you’ve already been involved in an abortion decision, you may have some feelings about that. Because it’s is such a controversial issue, many people don’t talk about their abortion experiences. This leaves people to handle it all alone. Men may especially feel like they don’t have a right to talk about it because it’s primarily a woman’s issue. You might feel it’s not your story to tell.

But you have been affected. And it’s OK to feel whatever emotions you’re experiencing.

Some men coerce women into ending her pregnancy and then feel immense guilt or shame later on. Some men pay for the procedure and then feel solely responsible for the decision. Some men withdraw or abandon a partner to make the choice alone and then feel regret for not stepping up. Some men don’t want an abortion, but your partner has one anyway. And you grieve.

All of these emotions are OK. Abortion can be a traumatic event. It’s normal to feel grief, guilt, relief-then-grief, shame, fear, regret, and a loss of control. An unexpected pregnancy and an abortion are life-changing events. They change your relationship with your partner, and they change you.

If you’re feeling the impacts of a past abortion experience, it’s important for you to know you don’t have to navigate those emotions alone. If you call or email us, we’ll connect you with resources and help.

If you and your partner are currently faced with this decision, it’s also important for you to know that you don’t have to do this alone. If you contact us, we’ll connect you with resources and help so that you can make the most informed decision. No matter what you decide, you’ll be impacted — it’s important you know all the information before you choose.

How To Be Ms. Right

Thu, 01 Oct 2020 07:31:00 GMT

Being single in our culture can be difficult. The expectation seems to be that we’ll find our perfect match, pair up, and live happily ever after. But life doesn’t always pan out that way and sometimes becoming Ms. Right is the first step to finding Mr. Right.

It can be tempting to feel like we’re in a holding pattern, waiting on Mr. Right to show up before life really begins. But that’s not how it works. Life isn’t waiting on a man to show up. Life is happening right now.

How can you become Ms. Right?

So that you’ll be ready for love if the right person comes along and so that you’ll be living your fullest life in the meantime.

Know yourself. Spend some time discovering your own strengths and what motivates you or inspires you. Figure out what your personality type is and how you most effectively interact with other personalities. You won’t be ready to create a healthy relationship with someone else unless you really know yourself.

Like yourself. It’s important to have a healthy sense of self-worth. If you don’t believe in your own worth, you won’t be able to establish a strong relationship with healthy boundaries. What makes you special? What do you like about yourself? What are you good at? What do other people say they like about you? Make notes of those things and practice self-affirmations each day.

Grow yourself. This is a good time to process any leftover feelings from past relationships or to learn from any past experiences. Read some personal development books or work with a counselor to heal from any past hurts so that you’re ready to enter a relationship when the right person comes along.

Date yourself. You don’t have to have a partner to go out and do things you enjoy. Go see that movie. Enjoy that new restaurant. Go on a hike. Try out that new hobby. Grab some friends to join you or spend some quality time alone — but don’t put your life on hold waiting for someone to come along. Go ahead and have fun! This has the added benefit of making you a more interesting person when you do meet potential dates.

Invest in yourself. Figure out what your passions are, what you care about, then invest yourself in those things. Volunteer in your community. Take that class. Give to that cause. You have the time and the energy now to invest yourself in something bigger than yourself. And who knows? Maybe you’ll meet someone who cares about the same things you do!

Nurture yourself. Take good care of your physical health. Establish healthy habits for eating and exercise. Take care of your body — have yearly exams and talk with your doctor about maintaining good health.

Honor yourself. It’s OK to have standards and hold to them. Honor your own values and don’t settle for a relationship that is less than what you really desire. You deserve to have a relationship that is filled with honesty and respect and love and clear communication and healthy boundaries. Honor yourself enough to hold out for that.

If the right person comes along, then you’ll be ready to begin a relationship. And no matter what, you’ll be strong and secure in who you are. You might become Ms. Right for someone else, but you’ll definitely be Ms. Right for yourself. And that’s most important.

6 Things Every Sexually Active Person Should Know

Thu, 17 Sep 2020 18:25:00 GMT

If you’re sexually active, here are 6 questions you may want to ask yourself?

Is it really a big deal to get tested for STDs (sexually transmitted diseases)?

In short — yes, it’s very important. Even though it can be scary to think about the possibility of getting bad news — or it can be worrisome to wonder how an STD diagnosis might affect a relationship, it’s still important to get tested. And it’s important to get tested if you’ve been sexually active – even if you don’t have any symptoms. Because many STDs don’t have any noticeable symptoms at all.

Why is it important to get tested?

It’s important to get tested so that you don’t inadvertently infect other people. If you don’t know you have an STD, you may spread that infection to a partner without realizing it. It’s also important to get tested so that you can get treatment for the STD.

If you always use condoms, do you still need to be tested?

Yes. Condoms are not 100% effective in preventing the spread of infections. Some STDs can be spread by skin-to-skin contact in the genital area that’s not covered by a condom.

If there aren’t any symptoms, why would you need treatment?

That’s a reasonable question. If you don’t feel sick or you aren’t having any problems, why would you need to get treatment? Because left untreated, STDs can cause some pretty major complications.

Future infertility
Endanger a future or current pregnancy
Increase your risk for HIV (the virus that can lead to AIDS)
Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)
Bladder problems
Liver cancer or cirrhosis
Cervical cancer
Anal cancer
Blindness
Dementia
Damage to other organs
Reduced life expectancy

We aren’t listing these potential complications to scare you, but it’s important that you understand the risks. Many of these physical complications can be avoided if you get tested for STDs and receive the appropriate treatment. The CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) recommends yearly screening for certain STDs for anyone under age 25 who is sexually active and for anyone older who has a new sex partner, multiple sex partners, or anyone who has had any sort of sexual activity with someone who has an STD.

What are other effects of STDs?

Carrying a disease or infection in your body can cause physical damage, but STDs can also be difficult on your emotional and relational health.

For many people, there’s still a stigma to an STD diagnosis. Some people feel like only certain types of women get STDs. So you may avoid testing because you aren’t that type of woman or because you don’t want to be labeled that type of woman. But the truth is that you can get an STD after any type of sexual activity, even if you only do it one time. According to the CDC , there were nearly two and a half million cases of STDs reported in 2018. Sexual health is a legitimate health concern for everyone.

If you have been diagnosed with an STD or if you think you may have one, it’s important to talk to someone who may help you break through the stigma and shame. You don’t have to carry shame and emotional trauma on top of the physical effects.

An STD can also be a challenge for relationships to overcome. It can be a challenge for a current relationship, but it will also come up in future relationships. Because this subject is so emotionally charged, it can bring our worst fears and biggest insecurities to the surface. And these feelings impact relationships. It’s completely normal for partners to need time to process the emotions around an STD diagnosis. And it’s possible that an STD will be a deal-breaker in relationships.

We’re a culture of instant gratification. And sometimes we don’t pause to consider the long-term effects of our choices. The desire for sex and for physical connection is normal. But it’s important to remember that the choices we make today affect our future. You deserve good physical and emotional health today and in the future, and you deserve strong, connected relationships today and in the future. We want you to feel empowered to make choices with knowledge and confidence so that you take the best care of yourself – your current self and your future self.

How can you best protect yourself from getting an STD?

The only way to completely avoid an STD is not to have vaginal, anal, or oral sex.

You can reduce your risk by having sex only in a long-term, mutually monogamous relationship (you both only ever have sex with each other and you know neither of you has an STD).

You can talk to your medical provider about ways to lower your risk or to schedule a test or to talk about treatment.

If you’re sexually active and don’t have a medical provider or you don’t feel comfortable talking to your doctor, you can call us to set up a confidential appointment to discuss STD testing and so we can help you get the resources you need to be healthy.

Abortion… Before You Decide

Thu, 03 Sep 2020 20:52:00 GMT

An unexpected pregnancy can feel really scary and overwhelming. Suddenly, your world has turned upside-down, and you have some big decisions to make in the middle of some pretty big emotions. Abortion, adoption, having and raising the baby – each of your options might seem completely overwhelming at this moment.

Before you decide anything, and no matter how alone you might feel, we want to remind you that you don’t have to do this on your own.

Our staff is available to listen and provide answers to your medical or other questions in a safe, loving environment. We won’t ever tell you what to do. But we’ll give you all the information you need to make an informed decision.

If you’re considering abortion, you probably have some questions.

What are the types of abortion?

There are two basic types of abortion: medical and surgical. Medical abortions are an option fairly early in the pregnancy. These involve taking pills that block the hormones necessary to continue the pregnancy. Surgical abortions are operations that are performed in a doctor’s office or clinic. A local anesthetic is typically offered to reduce pain, however, sedation may also be available.

Medical:

Plan B – Called the “morning-after pill.” It’s classified as an emergency contraceptive and can be taken up to 72 hours after unprotected sex to prevent pregnancy. This type of pill is designed to prevent the egg and sperm from meeting or the fertilized egg from implanting in the uterine wall, which would cause a very early abortion. However, it won’t end a pregnancy that has attached to the uterus. Plan B doesn’t protect against STDs (sexually transmitted diseases), and it can have some side effects. They may include lower abdominal pain, nausea, headache, and dizziness. Women who experience severe abdominal pain after taking the drug may have an ectopic pregnancy and should seek immediate medical help.

RU486 – Commonly referred to as the abortion pill. It can be taken up to 10 weeks after the last menstrual period (LMP). It’s a three-step process that involves a pill that cuts off the flow of hormones to the uterus and causes the embryo’s death. Followed by a pill that induces cramping to expel the embryo from the body, and then a follow-up examination to confirm that the abortion occurs. There are risks and side effects with this — severe cramping and bleeding, nausea and vomiting, and infection are some of the possible risks and side effects. And some women may still need a surgical abortion to complete the process due to the failure rate of the pill.

Online Abortion Pills – Sometimes referred to as Plan C. Buying and selling abortion pills online is not approved by the FDA (Food and Drug Administration). Because they’re outside the FDA procedures and safeguards, there’s no guarantee what these pills actually contain, so you don’t know exactly what you’re taking. Buying abortion pills online or following instructions online for inducing your own abortion with any sort of supplements or medicines is very dangerous — and it may or may not end a pregnancy.

Surgical:

Suction Aspiration – (Up to 14 weeks LMP) This involves stretching the cervix open with dilating rods. It’s usually painful so a local anesthetic is typically injected directly into the cervix beforehand. A vacuum device is then inserted inside the uterus to remove the fetus. Just like with any surgery, there are risks and side effects.

Dilation and Evacuation (D&E) – (15 – 24 weeks LMP) Because this procedure is done later in a pregnancy, sedation is commonly used. The cervix is dilated and forceps are used to help remove the fetus. Because the pregnancy is more advanced and the procedure is more invasive, the risks and side effects increase.

So what are the physical risks?

Any medical or surgical procedure has potential risks. Some risks with abortion include heavy bleeding, cramping, nausea, infection, tissue retention from an incomplete procedure, and an inability to carry future pregnancies in the case of organ damage.

Are there emotional risks?

As with any other major life event, not every woman is affected in the same way. There could be lasting emotional, relational, or mental health effects. Some women connect clinical depression and anxiety, substance use and alcohol abuse, suicidal thoughts or behaviors, and PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) to their abortion experience. And scientific evidence indicates that it’s more likely to cause negative psychological outcomes than either miscarriage or carrying an unexpected pregnancy to term. Some research indicates that couples who choose to end their pregnancy go on to have problems in their relationships related to the abortion.

So what’s the first thing to do?

The first step is making sure you’re really pregnant. We can help you with this. We provide complimentary, lab-quality pregnancy testing. And on top of that, we can provide a complimentary ultrasound to confirm if it’s even a viable pregnancy, meaning that it’s located in the uterus and there’s a heartbeat. In addition, it reveals how far along you are which is important to determine the type of abortion procedure you would be looking at.

You might feel like you have to make a decision right this second. Or maybe someone else is pressuring you to make a quick decision. But an important thing to remember is — you don’t have to decide today. It’s OK to take some time and catch your breath, then research all your options, gathering information and making a decision that is best for you. An unexpected pregnancy is a lot to take in, but you don’t have to face this alone. Remember, we’re here for you.

And if you’ve already had an abortion and you’re struggling with emotional or relational issues, we have staff who know what that’s like, who can listen, and direct you to tangible things that may help.

Call us today and schedule a visit at no cost to you.

College Tips For Single Moms

Thu, 13 Aug 2020 19:22:00 GMT

Going to college as a single mom can be a big challenge. But it’s completely possible. If you’re pregnant or a single mom and you’re thinking about college or if you’re in college and you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant, you can finish school. It may seem overwhelming at times, but it’s do-able!

Of course, college looks different when you’re a parent than it does for a traditional college student. You might be juggling a job, childcare, classes, and studying. You may have to squeeze homework and studying into nap-times. And you may feel like you’re learning every life lesson all at once — how to be a parent, how to be a student, how to adult.

If you’re a single mom and a student, here are a few tips that may help:

Ask for help. You don’t have to do this alone. If you don’t already have a support network, create one. Make friends with your neighbors or at the library or at church or in a mommy-and-me group that meets once a month. Seek out other students who are parents so that you can help each other. You can be strong and independent and still ask for help. We’re made for community, and you’ll need a community of friends or family to help you do this.

Take advantage of available money. There are grants and scholarships designed with single moms in mind. That’s free money you won’t have to pay back! Talk to your college financial aid office, and they’ll give you all the information you need. You also may qualify for the federal WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) program to help pay for food for you and your little one. There’s a Pregnancy Assistance Fund program through the federal government which provides support services for your health, your child’s health, your education, and some practical things like diapers and baby equipment. And some college scholarships even include money for transportation and childcare. If you want to get a degree, there are resources to help you pay for it.

Write down goals. And look at them often. There will be discouraging days, so having a written reminder of why you’re working so hard may help you get through the hard days. Writing daily or weekly goals that you can check off as you accomplish will also motivate you to stay on track for the big goals.

Be organized. Live by lists and schedules. Daily and weekly to-do lists will help make sure nothing falls through the cracks. And schedules will assure you that there is a time for everything. So when you’re playing with your baby or having coffee with a friend, you don’t have to feel guilty because it’s scheduled in and homework and study times are also scheduled in.

Practice saying no. You can’t do everything, and you especially can’t do everything right now. In order to prioritize your child and school, you’ll have to say no to other things. Remember – there are seasons of life, and for this season, your yeses are very limited. If it isn’t helping you take care of your child, complete your degree, or maintain your own mental health, it’s probably a no for now.

Communicate with your professors. At the very beginning of each semester, talk with your professors and let them know that you’re a single parent. Your professors are human beings capable of compassion, and most of them want to help you succeed. As long as you aren’t taking advantage of the situation or using your circumstances as an excuse to get a free pass, your professors will probably work with you and be very understanding. And talk with your college student health office too. They’ll help communicate with your professors and provide lots of practical support for you.

Take care of yourself. You can’t take very good care of your baby if you aren’t taking care of you. Schedule in time for healthy meals and exercise — you can go for a walk or a run while pushing a stroller or do some exercises on your living room floor while playing with your child. Remember – food, exercise, sleep, and friendship are not luxuries. You need these things to be emotionally and physically healthy.

There may be moments when you wonder if you can really do this. You can! It will look different than you may have imagined college, but you’ve got this!

Pregnancy And Pot: Weed Out The Facts

Wed, 29 Jul 2020 17:34:00 GMT

All across the country, states are legalizing marijuana for medical and recreational use. As the laws have loosened around the use of marijuana, it’s common to hear about how safe – even beneficial – weed can be. It may seem like smoking weed just isn’t a big deal anymore. But if you’re pregnant – or may become pregnant – there are some important things to know before you light up a joint.

Can smoking weed during pregnancy hurt my baby?

When you’re pregnant, anything you put on your skin or into your body can affect the baby growing inside you – whether you’re eating it, drinking it, or smoking it.

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommend that pregnant women do not use marijuana during pregnancy because it can cause harmful effects for the baby. Some research shows a lower birth weight and a greater chance of stillbirth or premature birth for babies whose moms smoked weed during pregnancy. And because marijuana smoke has a lot of the same chemicals as cigarette smoke, there are many of the same dangers for developmental delays in a developing baby. As your baby’s brain develops, any chemicals you ingest can affect that development.

What about edible marijuana?

Edible marijuana still contains THC (tetrahydrocannabinol), which can affect the baby’s development. And because your body processes edible marijuana differently than smoked marijuana, it takes longer to feel the effects of edible marijuana. Some users eat more to feel the effects more quickly, but there’s no sure way to know how strong the marijuana is before eating it. This increases your risk of overdosing on edible marijuana.

I’ve been using medical marijuana. Is it safe for me to keep using it?

In short, no. It isn’t safe. Medical marijuana isn’t any safer than recreational marijuana. It carries the same risks for you and for your developing baby.

If you’ve been using medical marijuana, talk to your OB-GYN about safer alternative treatments.

I heard weed can help with nausea. Can I use it to help my morning sickness?

Again, the short answer is No. Even if you think the weed is helping alleviate one problem, it still carries the risk of causing more problems. If you’re having serious morning sickness, talk to your OB-GYN. There are FDA-approved medications to help with morning sickness. And these medications won’t harm your baby.

I smoked weed before I knew I was pregnant. Is my baby going to be OK?

If you stopped using weed as soon as you found out you’re pregnant, you’ve reduced the risks for yourself and your baby. But it’s still important that you let your OB-GYN know if you exposed your baby to marijuana at any point during the pregnancy. Your doctors can take better care of you if they’re fully informed about all risks.

What if I’m addicted?

If it’s hard or feels impossible for you to stop using weed, there are people who can help you. You can find resources on the website of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). SAMHSA also has a 24-hour treatment referral line: 800-662-HELP (4357).

Weeding out the facts.

Both the CDC and ACOG recommend that women not use weed during pregnancy. Marijuana use has been associated with developmental delays, brain development, low birth weight, premature delivery, and stillbirth. It also increases the risk of dizziness, falls, and breathing problems for the pregnant mom. And because all marijuana isn’t the same, you never know the exact strength or chemical make-up of the weed you’re using, so you can’t be certain what the dangers and risks are.

If you’re pregnant or you might become pregnant, talk to your doctor honestly about all of your drug and alcohol use so your doctor can take the best care possible of you and your baby. You deserve to be healthy and to give your baby the best possible chance of being healthy.

Having The Sexual Partner Talk

Wed, 01 Jul 2020 21:11:00 GMT

Talking honestly about our sexual histories can be awkward, at best, and downright terrifying, at worst. Maybe you’re worried your boyfriend or girlfriend will freak out about how high your number of past partners is or about some of your choices that were a little on the wild side. Or maybe you feel sick with anxiety when you think about knowing any information about your partner’s past sexual encounters. Or maybe it’s just super weird because there’s so much secrecy and shame around sex and we aren’t used to talking honestly and openly about it.

So if it’s so awkward and scary, why bother? If we can easily skate around it or ignore it, why go there?

Why? Because your sexual health is important. Talking honestly about your sexual history is important in making sure both of you are physically safe and healthy. And the vulnerability it takes to talk honestly about your sexual history also builds intimacy and trust.

Ok. So what sorts of things should you talk about?

Any history of STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). It’s important to talk about any bacterial infections that have been cured by antibiotics – because this promotes honesty and forthrightness. And it’s vitally important to talk about any viral infections – even the ones that are asymptomatic because they can still be transmitted. Keep in mind that STDs are very common. The CDC (Centers for Disease Control) estimates there are about 20 million new cases of STDs in the US each year. And half of those are in young people ages 15 – 24. If you have an STD or have had one in your life, you definitely aren’t alone, so you don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed.

When you had your last STD test and what it tested for. In order to be sure that both of you are STD-free, you need to account for any incubation periods, any sexual behavior since the last test (including any skin-to-skin contact with anybody), and what STDs the test was checking for. Not every STD test checks for every possible STD.

Any abnormal pap smear. Abnormal pap smears can indicate HPV (human papillomavirus), the most common sexually transmitted infection. And even though HPV is really common and often the body gets rid of the virus on its own, it’s still important that you tell your partner about any abnormal pap smear and possibility of HPV.

Number of sexual partners. This is tricky. A lot of people feel like it’s OK to keep the actual number of sexual partners a secret, that it isn’t anybody else’s business. If you don’t want to disclose the number of sexual partners you’ve had, it’s probably a good idea to think about why you don’t want to have that conversation. Are you afraid your partner will reject you? Judge you? Feel intimidated? Feel too much pressure? Do you feel a lot of shame about having too many partners or not enough partners? If you don’t feel safe and loved enough to have that conversation, it may be healthy to pause and think about that before moving forward into a physical relationship. Undoubtedly, some couples have happy relationships with a Don’t Ask / Don’t Tell policy about the number of past sexual partners. But the healthiest relationships are based on honest and open communication and the safety and security of being able to talk about anything. No matter how many people your partner has been with, it’s important that both of you have up-to-date STD tests and that you know that you’re both free from all infections and only ever have any kind of sex with each other – if you’re going to have sex, that’s the only way to cut down the risk of an STD.

Ok, so you’ve decided to have this conversation, but how do you even start that talk?

Find a time that isn’t rushed. So you’re not going to want to bring it up in the last five minutes of a date or during the commercial break of the basketball game.

Talk about it before things get physical. You don’t want to wait until you’re in the middle of a make-out session and things are getting heated.

Have the conversation in person. This isn’t the sort of talk you can have in text messages. Sit down and talk about this face-to-face.

Agree that you will both be judgment-free. That means neither of you will shout, “WHAT? You’ve been with HOW MANY people? OMGosh! That’s a lot!” Nor will either of you shake your head in disbelief and say, “WHAT?? You’re a virgin!!! No way!” Agree that you both will respect each other and not judge the other as a person on the information shared.

Allow space for each person to move forward at their own level of comfort. This means that if your partner has slept with 50 people, you have the freedom to say, “That makes me uncomfortable. I need some time to think about this.” And then you decide whether that’s OK with you or not. In the same way, your partner has the freedom to hear about your past and decide that it’s too much outside their comfort zone. Yes, this is crazy scary. Because this conversation could mean the end of your relationship. But it also means that each of you gets to make the decision that is healthiest and best for you based on 100% solid information. No guess-work. No secrets.

Your sexual history doesn’t define who you are as a person. That’s important for you to remember. Even if your partner decides they’re not comfortable with your history, you aren’t any less-than. It just means that isn’t the right person for you right now.

You have such value. And you deserve a relationship that is physically and emotionally healthy and rooted in honesty and open communication. Having this awkward, scary conversation can help you get there.

New Mom? You’re Not Alone

Wed, 17 Jun 2020 21:11:00 GMT

Becoming a parent changes your life. Your priorities change. Your schedule changes. Your needs change. Maybe your friends are in the same stage of life and they completely get it. Or maybe you feel like you’re suddenly in this whole other world and you’re navigating it alone.

If you’re a new mom, you need a solid support network. Even if your family and friends are being as loving and supportive as they can be, it’s really helpful to have the support of other moms in a similar stage of life. Someone who is also fluent in the language of diaper brands and nursing bras. Someone who understands how exhausted you are.

So if you aren’t naturally already in a circle of other new moms, how can you build that support network? Here are some ideas:

Online Groups & Message Boards – If you’re juggling work or school and parenting and don’t have a lot of time for face-to-face meet-ups (or if a worldwide pandemic is keeping you at home), this is a great way to virtually meet other moms in similar stages of life.

Library StoryTime – Most local libraries have storytime for babies and moms and for preschoolers and moms. During these times, you’ll meet other moms and provide socialization for your little one.

Music or Exercise Classes – Maybe you can find a baby/toddler/preschooler music class or a Mommy & Me exercise class or stroller aerobics. Some community rec centers offer these classes free for residents or for a very low price.

MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) or other Mommy & Me Groups – You can search online for a local, organized group that is designed to provide you with the support of other new moms and maybe even offer the encouragement of more experienced moms who volunteer as mentors.

La Leche League – If you’re breastfeeding, a local La Leche meeting can provide the help and friendship of other nursing moms.

The Park – If you go to a neighborhood playground in the mid-morning, you’re likely to find some other moms of young children. Who knows – maybe your future mom-network is already standing around the baby swings!

Ask Your Pediatrician – Your baby’s doctor probably knows a network of support for new moms and can hook you up.

This parenting thing is a huge adjustment and lots of hard work. You don’t have to do it alone. Finding a network of other moms to offer friendship, understanding, advice, and community is vital. When you get together, you may feel bleary-eyed and sleep-deprived, but at least you’ll all feel bleary-eyed and sleep-deprived together.

Is It Safe To Vape While You’re Pregnant?

Fri, 15 May 2020 15:22:00 GMT

Can vaping hurt an unborn baby? Is vaping safer than smoking real cigarettes? Does vape even have nicotine in it?

Because so many young people vape, there’s a lot of confusion around its safety. It’s good that you’re asking questions and doing research to figure out what’s safe and healthy for you and your baby during pregnancy.

First, if you’re not sure whether vaping is dangerous or safe, unhealthy or not a big deal – you’re not alone. According to a big study by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), it seems that a lot of women assume vaping isn’t a big deal and continue vaping during pregnancy. Some women stop smoking regular cigarettes during pregnancy and start vaping because they think e-cigarettes are safe and will help them quit smoking. So these women are trying to be healthier and take care of themselves and their babies. Unfortunately, the idea that vaping is a healthier alternative to cigarettes is a misconception.

So let’s look at some common questions about vaping and sort out fact from fiction. This way, you can make informed decisions about what’s best for you and your baby.

What are e-cigarettes? Electronic cigarettes can come in a lot of different forms. But no matter the specifics, the general idea is the same: there is a liquid that contains nicotine, flavorings, and some other chemicals, and there is a battery-powered part that heats that liquid into a vapor that the user breathes in.

Do vape pods have nicotine? Yes. JUUL pods and e-cigarettes don’t have tobacco, but they do have nicotine.

Is nicotine safe for pregnancy? According to the CDC , nicotine is a danger during pregnancy. Nicotine can damage a baby’s developing brain and lungs. Not only is nicotine not safe for a developing baby, but it’s also not safe for the woman either . Nicotine is known to be highly addictive. It increases blood pressure and heart rate and narrows the arteries, putting users at a greater risk for heart attacks. Nicotine can lower immune response, making you more likely to get sick or making it more difficult for you to fight sickness. It can cause gastrointestinal problems and is believed to put users at higher risk for cancer and make cancers more likely to be fatal.

So no, nicotine isn’t safe for people who are pregnant – or for people who aren’t pregnant.

What other chemicals are in vape liquid? Vape juices contain a variety of different chemicals.

Some of those include:

Formaldehyde – can cause irregular heartbeats and loss of red blood cells
Acetaldehyde – has been associated with the risk of cancer
Acetone – it’s what you use to take off nail polish or gel nails – associated with headache, low blood pressure, coma
Butanol – a solvent – butanol poisoning can cause vomiting and unconsciousness
Propylene glycol – it’s in antifreeze, paint solvent, fog machines
Acrolein – a weed killer which causes irreversible lung damage
Benzene – a compound found in car exhaust
Diacetyl – the chemical that causes what’s known as “ popcorn lung ”

Can vaping help you stop smoking? There’s really no evidence that vaping helps people stop smoking. Consuming nicotine continues the nicotine addiction and continues the health risks associated with nicotine. There are other ways to help you stop smoking that have proven effective — individual, group, or telephone counseling and some FDA-approved medications. If you smoke cigarettes and want to stop, talk to your healthcare provider about healthy ways to stop smoking.

If you quit smoking or vaping cold turkey, will your baby have withdrawals? No. Medical professionals do not see nicotine withdrawals in babies as they do with drugs like heroin. There is also no indication that a mother’s withdrawals from nicotine hurt the baby in any way. Stopping cold turkey is healthier for the baby than the continued use of nicotine.

Does second-hand vape affect a person the same way second-hand smoke does? Yes. Breathing in the vapors from e-cigarettes exposes the mother and baby to nicotine and all the chemicals in the juice.

What problems can nicotine/vaping cause during pregnancy? Because vape liquids contain nicotine, any problems associated with nicotine use during pregnancy are also associated with vaping during pregnancy. If you vape, you’re more likely for any of these things to happen:

Ectopic pregnancy – when the fertilized egg grows in the wrong place, not in the uterus

Miscarriage – though miscarriage can happen for many reasons and often isn’t the related to any choices the mother makes, smoking/vaping during pregnancy can increase the risk of a miscarriage

Premature delivery – smoking/nicotine use makes it more likely for a baby to be born prematurely, which increases the chance of a baby’s stay in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU)

Low birth weight – nicotine use during pregnancy has been associated with lower birth weights, which could result in complications for the baby

Birth defects – related to improper lung and brain development resulting from the exposure to nicotine and other chemicals

Vaping is not safe or healthy at any time, but it especially isn’t safe during pregnancy. E-cigarettes or vape pens are not a healthy tool to stop smoking cigarettes. Any nicotine use during pregnancy is not good for a mother or a baby.

If you smoke or vape and you want to stop, call your healthcare provider and ask for resources to help you quit. If you don’t have a healthcare provider yet, call us and we’ll connect you to the resources you need. The idea of quitting a habit like smoking or vaping can be overwhelming and intimidating, but you don’t have to do this alone. We’re here to support you.

The Emotional Side of STDs

Thu, 07 May 2020 21:32:00 GMT

Being diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease (STD) can be overwhelming. In addition to any medical concerns, there also may be a lot of emotions that go along with hearing you have an STD. If you’ve recently found out that you have an STD, it’s OK for you to feel all the feelings. Let’s look at some of the common emotions people might feel after being diagnosed.

Anger

Some people feel really angry when they get an STD diagnosis — angry at a partner, angry at themselves, angry at the universe. It’s OK to feel angry. But it’s also important to know that often, anger is a secondary emotion. So after you’ve given yourself permission to be angry for a little while, you may want to peel back a layer and see what’s beneath that anger. Maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s anxiety. Maybe it’s despair. Or maybe it’s embarrassment or worry about the stigma. We’ll talk about that more in a minute.

Betrayal

If you thought you’ve been in a mutually monogamous relationship – when you only both ever have sex with each other – and you believed you both entered the relationship with no STDs, you might feel really betrayed. Maybe you feel betrayed that your partner had an STD and didn’t tell you. Or maybe you feel betrayed that your partner was unfaithful to you and brought back an STD. That’s a normal response. You have every right to feel betrayed and hurt. And it will probably take some time to heal from that. It might help to talk to a trusted friend or family member or to a professional counselor.

Fear/Anxiety

This is probably brand-new territory for you. Anytime we’re facing the unknown, fear is common. Sometimes your fears may be related to the medical details — Will this impact my ability to have children in the future? If I’m pregnant now, how might this disease hurt my baby? Could this disease affect my brain? Doing too much research on the Internet or getting your information from people who aren’t experts may make your fear even worse. If you write down all your questions and ask your healthcare provider, you can get answers that might help calm some of your fears.

Sometimes your fears are related to the future — Will anyone want to have sex with me ever again? How am I supposed to talk about this when I start a new relationship? Those are valid fears. It makes sense that you’d feel anxious about those things. But it’s important that you remember that there are about 20 million new cases of STDs in the U.S. each year, so you’re certainly not alone. It’s possible to have a healthy, happy relationship after an STD diagnosis. Your healthcare provider can tell you more about that.

Depression

You might become depressed, losing interest in the things that brought you joy before, feeling less like your usual self. If your sad feelings become really intense or don’t go away after that initial couple weeks, talk to your doctor or healthcare provider. They’ll have the resources to help you.

Shame

Even though there were 2.4 million reported cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis in 2018 in the U.S. and there are 20 million new cases of all STDs combined every year, people don’t talk about it. There’s a lot of secrecy around STDs. That’s understandable – our sexual health is a private and personal thing. But a lot of times, secrecy breeds shame. And that shame can make you feel really lonely and isolated – even though there are literally millions of other people who are going through the same thing. Sometimes the power of shame can be broken by talking to just one understanding, compassionate person who can listen without judgment. If you don’t have that person in your life – or if you’re not sure – you can call us. A member of our staff will listen to you without judgment.

Worthlessness

We live in a culture that values perfection. Added to that – nearly all of the media portrays sex in this really polished, provocative, sensual way. The value of a person is often tied to how desirable, how sexy they are. And it’s hard to feel desirable or sexy if sex gave you this disease that you can give to someone else if you have sex again. This might make you feel like you’re not desirable, not worth as much as other people. Though we understand why you might feel that way, we need you to know that our culture lies to us about this. Your worth doesn’t have anything to do with how sexy you are, how many people would want to have sex with you, how polished your sex life is. You have value – so much value – just because you’re YOU. No disease can steal your value and worth.

Yes, this diagnosis is a big deal. And you deserve to get treatment and information for the best possible care for yourself. But this diagnosis doesn’t define you. You don’t deserve any less because of this.

If you’re struggling with all the big feelings after a diagnosis of an STD, we’re here for you. We’ll listen without judgment and we’ll guide you to the resources you need to help you feel like your best self.

Postpartum Depression – What You Need To Know

Thu, 23 Apr 2020 17:01:00 GMT

A lot of people talk about all the changes that happen to you during pregnancy — all the ways your body is changing, the hormone fluctuations, the things your body is doing to support a developing baby. But we don’t always talk as much about what happens to your body after the baby is born.

Childbirth is followed by a lot of emotions – and not all of them are happiness and joy. Many mothers – 50-75% – experience waves of sadness, fear, anxiety, crying, mood swings, and difficulty making decisions. You might have heard these emotions referred to as “The Baby Blues.” This is really common and will resolve on its own after a couple of weeks — after a little adjustment period. Babies are exhausting and your hormones are adjusting to a new normal, so it makes sense that you’d need a couple of weeks for your body to adjust – physically and emotionally.

You can help yourself during the Baby Blues by giving yourself a little TLC — sleep when the baby sleeps, eat healthy foods, ask for help, seek out support, and exercise. Give yourself some grace while you adjust to a new normal.

But sometimes the sadness and mood swings are more intense and last longer than two weeks. Sometimes The Baby Blues transition into a real depression called postpartum depression. This is a real medical illness.

So what are the signs of postpartum depression?

Persistent sad, anxious, or empty feeling
Irritability
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, hopelessness, or helplessness
Loss of interest in anything you used to find fun
Fatigue or abnormal decrease in energy
Restlessness or trouble sitting still
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
Difficulty sleeping – even when the baby is sleeping
Oversleeping
Abnormal appetite
Aches, pains, digestive problems – that do not get better with treatment or that have no explained cause
Trouble bonding or forming an emotional attachment with your baby
Thoughts about death, suicide, or harming your baby

There isn’t just one cause for postpartum depression. Any woman can experience it. But some factors can make it more likely for someone to experience postpartum depression — a history of mental illness, past trauma, previous postpartum depression, additional life stresses, and the loss of a baby, either through stillbirth or placing the baby for adoption.

If you’re experiencing signs and symptoms of postpartum depression, it’s important for you to know you aren’t alone. As many as one in five women experience postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety. This means – you probably know someone who can relate to what you’re going through.

What can you do if you’re having symptoms of postpartum depression?

The good news is that you don’t have to suffer alone. There are treatments available. Call your healthcare provider and ask for help. Most healthcare providers will recommend medicine, therapy/counseling, or a combination of both. The FDA has even approved one medication specifically to treat postpartum depression. There are options to help you.

A small percentage of women experience something even more severe than postpartum depression. Postpartum psychosis is a severe mental illness and needs immediate help. Women experiencing postpartum psychosis may have delusions (thoughts that aren’t true), hallucinations (hearing or seeing or smelling things that aren’t real), mania (feeling very elated and out of touch with reality), paranoia, or confusion. Women who have postpartum psychosis may be at risk of harming themselves or their children. Postpartum psychosis is a medical emergency and needs to be addressed immediately. This is a call-911 situation. Recovery from postpartum psychosis is possible with immediate treatment.

If you think you’re experiencing postpartum depression, ask for help. Talk to a trusted friend or family member and call your healthcare provider. If you don’t know who to call for help, call us. We’ll listen and help you find the resources you need.

Pregnancy and childbirth — growing and delivering a baby — That’s hard work! You’ve done hard work! And it makes sense that your body takes time to adjust physically, mentally, and emotionally. You are strong and amazing! And it’s OK to ask for help when you need help.

Recovering from a Sexting Incident

Sun, 19 Apr 2020 13:14:00 GMT

Sexting has become such a widespread problem in our world today that has hurt so many people. Many who have fallen victim to this often feel vulnerable to everyone around them, like they have no one to turn to and no way out of the situation. If you happen to be one who has walked through this or know someone who has, we want you to know that you’re not alone in this and there is hope for you.

Sexting usually refers to sending nude or partially nude photos by text message. Of course, it can also happen over social media platforms and with laptop webcams. Research shows that approximately 1 in 7 teenagers reports sending sex-texts (sexts) and about 1 in 4 teens report receiving sexts.

So what happens after a sext is sent or received?

As we explained in another blog post on this topic, sometimes sexts are used for cyberbullying or revenge porn, sometimes sext photos are obtained by sexual predators, and sometimes law enforcement becomes involved because sexual or nude images of people under the age of 18 are illegal.

Maybe you sent a sext and now regret it because of the fallout. Or maybe you received a sext that ended up causing a lot of problems for you. What do you do now?

If you sent a sext and quickly lost control of the situation —

First, we want you to know that nobody deserves to be bullied, manipulated, blackmailed, or preyed upon. Even if you willingly made the choice to send a photo to someone you trusted, you don’t deserve to be mistreated. Yes, sending sexts is risky, but that doesn’t mean you deserve to be harmed. The person who posted or shared your pictures without your permission has intentionally hurt you, and that is wrong.

If your embarrassing or compromising photo ended up in the hands of people you never meant to see you, it’s normal for you to be upset or feel humiliated. Your pain and embarrassment can be made worse by people who victim-blame and shame. If that has happened to you, we’re so sorry. No one deserves to be treated this way.

So what can you do? Well, if someone has publicly shared an image you intended to be private, you may be able to take legal action. Some states have enacted revenge porn laws and most states have laws against sextortion — if you’re a minor and someone coerced you to send a nude picture of yourself. Before you talk to police, research your state laws because some states prosecute teens who send nude photos of themselves, charging them with child pornography distribution. And obviously – you don’t want to open yourself up to that. If this has happened to you, talk to your parents, a teacher, or a counselor. Your local legal aid office may also be able to answer some questions over the phone and give you some advice.

More important than legal action, though, is your need to take care of yourself emotionally and mentally. If you haven’t already, talk to an adult you can trust — a parent, a counselor, a pastor, a teacher. This can be a very traumatic experience and trying to hide or fix things on your own without help may lead to further harm to you. Find someone who will support you, encourage you, and love you through this.

We know this may seem like the end of the world — and that’s totally understandable. But fortunately, our culture’s attention spans are pretty short. Within a few days, there will be some new drama taking over social media and the gossip in your town. Hang in there. The emotions and thoughts you’ve experienced as a result of this won’t last forever. It takes time to heal.

If you received a sext and quickly lost control of the situation –

First, if you’re in legal trouble, seek counsel from a lawyer. A good lawyer will advise you of your rights and your best options.

But aside from the legal aspect, you may be living with a lot of guilt or shame right now. It’s important for you to know that you will recover from this. Even when our mistakes seem overwhelming, we can move forward.

It may help you to talk to a professional counselor or therapist. Either one can help you process all the emotions you might be experiencing. They can also help you find appropriate ways to apologize to anyone you may have hurt or harmed.

Whether you sent a sext you’ve come to regret or whether you received a sext and caused someone else harm, this doesn’t have to be the defining moment of your life. You’re so much more than this one thing. You are so valuable – worthy of love, of forgiveness, of respect.

If you need someone to talk to, we’re here for you. Call us and one of our staff members will listen and help you find the resources you need to walk through this.

Pregnancy And Coronavirus

Sat, 28 Mar 2020 20:35:00 GMT

We’re living in a really weird time right now. Most of us are hunkered down in our homes, only going out for the absolute essentials. We’re working from home, putting on a real shirt with our pajama bottoms to have Zoom meetings or Zoom classes. We’re binge-watching everything we ever wanted to watch on Netflix and even a few things we don’t want to watch – because what else is there to do? We’re calling grocery stores to see if they’ve restocked the toilet paper so we know whether to make the trip out or not. Life is definitely weird and surreal.

Life is also a bit scary right now. People are making protective masks out of bandanas and rubber bands. We’re disinfecting all the things we order from Amazon before we open them. Each day, we’re logging onto the Internet or turning on the TV and watching the numbers of people infected with Covid-19 rise.

This is scary for healthy people in the best of circumstances. But it’s even more scary for people with suppressed immune systems or people with pre-existing health conditions. And if you’re pregnant, you might be really scared about what Coronavirus or Covid-19 means for you.

Are pregnant women more at risk of getting Covid-19?

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), we just don’t know . This strand of Coronavirus is new, so we aren’t sure whether pregnant women have a bigger chance of getting sick with Covid-19.

We do know that pregnancy changes women’s bodies in ways that increase the chance of getting infections in general, and we know that pregnant women are more likely to get severely sick with other viral respiratory infections (like influenza). So it’s important for pregnant women to try to avoid any illness, including Covid-19.

How can pregnant women protect themselves from getting Covid-19?

Pregnant women protect themselves from this virus the same way the general public protects itself.

Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water for at least 20 seconds
If you can’t wash your hands, use a hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol
Avoid touching your face – your eyes, your nose, your mouth
Practice social distancing – stay at least 6 feet from anyone who is sick or who may be sick
Stay home as much as possible and don’t invite people into your home
Clean and disinfect surfaces

Can Covid-19 cause problems during a pregnancy?

Because this strand of the virus is so new, we just don’t know yet. We do know that extreme stress during pregnancy can result in preterm labor or low birth weight, so it’s important that you find ways to stay calm and not allow fear about the Coronavirus to cause extreme stress and anxiety. Though it’s perfectly normal to be concerned, you can find ways to take care of yourself and your mental health during this disease outbreak.

Things you can do to help lower your stress and manage your anxiety:

Limit your intake of the news. Maybe allow yourself to watch or read the news no more than two times each day – enough to be informed but not enough to let it consume you.
Flip the scary statistics — if the death rate for Covid-19 in the United States is just about 1.4%, that means over 98% of people who get the illness will recover and be fine. That’s a huge majority.
Take care of your body – stretch, exercise, get some sunshine and fresh air, eat healthy foods.
Do something you enjoy – start a craft project, have a dance party in the living room, watch a movie, read a book, Facetime with friends. Whatever brings you joy – make time for that every day.
Talk to friends or a mental health professional – talk to someone about your anxiety. Maybe talking to friends is enough or maybe teleconferencing with a mental health professional will help.
Maintain a routine. Keeping a routine can be calming.
Meditate or pray – whatever can help center your mind and calm your soul.

These are weird and scary times, for sure. And it’s very normal for you to be concerned about your own health and about your baby. So take precautions and protect yourself. Then do what you can to choose peace of mind – because that’s just as important for you and your baby.

If we can help answer any questions or if you just need someone to listen to your concerns, please call. We’re here for you.

The Bachelor vs Reality

Sat, 07 Mar 2020 20:35:00 GMT

Next week we’ll find out which woman gets Pilot Pete’s final rose. For 24 seasons, fans have followed along as woman after woman competes to get from one rose ceremony to the next, each one hoping she wins the prize — a televised proposal complete with a ginormous Neil Lane diamond.

It’s one thing to watch shows like The Bachelor or The Bachelorette as escapism junk TV, knowing there’s not much reality to this reality television. But it’s a whole other thing when we get caught up in the mania and begin to expect real-life dating or relationships to be anything like these shows. I mean – how can our date to the bowling alley really compare to that table for two on a private island?

So let’s face it — dating on The Bachelor isn’t really anything like dating in real life. How are they different? Let’s count the ways —

The Bachelor

You’re constantly vying for the man’s affection while 25 other women are also doing their best to gain his attention. Interpretive dances, cringe-worthy rap songs, even showing up in a wedding dress — these women will do anything to get the bachelor’s attention.

Reality

If a man makes you feel like you have to compete with other women to win his affection, then he isn’t ready for a relationship. At all. You deserve to feel like you’re the center of a man’s attention and affection. In a healthy relationship, you’ll feel secure. You won’t have to worry about another woman back-flipping her way onto the scene and stealing attention away from you.

The Bachelor

Hair and make-up artists are standing around ready to make you always look polished and TV-ready. Your wardrobe is chosen by stylists. Even that just-woke-up look is carefully orchestrated.

Reality

You wake up with bedhead and bad breath. Your fraying pajama pants may not even match your pajama top. You get sick, and your nose is runny. Some days you’re bloated and don’t want to get out of your stretchy pants. We don’t always look ready for our close-up. And we certainly don’t have professionals styling us and primping us around the clock. In real relationships, we see each other all dressed up, looking our best, and we see each other on our bad days, barely holding it together.

The Bachelor

The dates are extravagant, over-the-top events. Helicopter rides, private concerts, secluded beaches, and entire Nascar tracks may be involved. Producers create high-emotion moments to speed up the falling-in-love feelings. Of course, this makes for great television, but it certainly isn’t reality.

Reality

Obviously, very few of us will be wooed by a private Backstreet Boys concert or taken on a naked bungee jump in a foreign country. Our fancy dates may be dressing up in that cute outfit we found on the Target clearance rack and going to the local Red Lobster. And that’s OK. That’s real life. Jetting around the world on grand adventures isn’t how dates work in real life for most of us.

The Bachelor

The editing process is a total thing. Everything we see on TV has been edited for maximum entertainment value. Some moments are recorded a second time if the first take wasn’t perfect. All the mistakes, the boring parts, the not-good-TV moments are cut out, as if they never happened.

Reality

We don’t always get a do-over, a second take. The missteps and mishaps are part of what make up our stories, and couples in a healthy relationship learn to navigate the missteps together. When we mess up or when our partner makes a mistake, we have to choose whether to forgive and move forward in grace or whether that mistake is a deal-breaker. In our real lives, we can’t just delete the bad scenes and choose not to include them in the final edit.

The Bachelor

Contestants on the show are removed from their everyday lives and plopped into this fantasy world with strangers they can’t really trust. The stress of their normal lives is gone, but so is the support of their network of friends and family. The contestants are making huge life decisions with very little input from the important people in their lives — the brief home visits don’t give the families or friends much time at all to know enough to give good advice.

Reality

When we’re dating and considering someone to be a potential marriage partner, the input of our family and friends is vital. Our families and trusted friends need to spend lots of time with our significant other because sometimes they’ll notice red flags we won’t pick up on. We also want to see how well our boyfriend or girlfriend fits in with our people — how a partner meshes with our family dynamic or fits in with our friend group.

The Bachelor

Couples go to the fantasy suite with no discussions about sexual history or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Though we’ve seen a few people wrestle with the decision about whether or not they should have sex, for the most part, it’s a given that this is part of the show, part of the process. And it’s assumed that the bachelor is having sex with each of the women he takes to a fantasy suite. That’s three women in one week.

Reality

In real life, we have the right to expect an exclusive, monogamous relationship with anyone we’re choosing to have sex with. We can choose that sex isn’t part of proving ourselves worthy of being selected. In real life, we can decide that sex comes after we’ve already decided to commit to someone – not as some sort of audition for the role of girlfriend. And we can protect ourselves from infections or disease by having conversations about sexual history and by testing ourselves and insisting any intimate partner is also tested first.

So real-life dating may involve fewer helicopters, fewer sequined gowns, and fewer limousine rides. But hopefully it involves more respect, more acceptance, and more authenticity. And genuine, healthy relationships are worth more than all the long-stemmed roses in California!

I Don’t Want To Lose Him

Sat, 15 Feb 2020 13:12:00 GMT

Dear Collage,
My boyfriend and I have been dating a while now. He’s really sweet and in a lot of ways, he treats me like a queen. I know he loves me. And I really do love him. He wants to have sex, but I don’t feel ready. I think sex is a big deal, and I think I might want to wait until I’m married. He says he understands that I’m not ready, but he also says that he’s proven he loves me by treating me like a queen – buying me stuff and watching movies I want to watch or hanging out with my friends when I want us to. He says this is the only thing he’s asking of me and if I really loved him, I’d want him to be happy. I know he’s getting frustrated. He has needs and I’m not meeting those needs. I’m afraid that if I don’t have sex with him soon, he’s going to break up with me and find someone who will. I mean, I love him and I want a future with him. If I’m going to have sex with him eventually, maybe I should go ahead and have sex with him now so he won’t leave me. What should I do?

We receive a lot of messages that sound like this. So if you’re in this situation, you definitely aren’t alone. That’s important for you to know — you aren’t the only one.

If this is your situation, we want to encourage you and help you as you make a decision about what’s best for you.

First, it’s wonderful if you and your boyfriend are having conversations about sex. Being able to honestly communicate about physical intimacy is very important in a relationship. It sounds like you’re not shying away from talking about the tough stuff, so that’s really something to be proud of!

Next, it’s also really great that you’re pausing to think about what you want and how sex impacts a relationship and your future. It sounds like you’re considering your values and wanting to make choices that are true to your own values. That’s wonderful!

If you feel like you aren’t ready for sex or if any part of you really wants to wait until you’re married, then you aren’t ready. And that’s OK! Even if you’ve been dating a really long time, it’s OK to feel like you aren’t ready or to feel like you want to wait. You’re right; sex is a big deal, and it’s wise to wait until you’re really ready or until you’re fully committed to each other in marriage. If that’s how you feel, you have every right to feel that way. And you deserve to have those values and those boundaries respected.

If you can say that your boyfriend treats you like a queen, but what does that mean? If he isn’t respecting your boundaries and your values, then he isn’t treating you like a queen. If he’s buying you gifts, watching movies you want to watch, and hanging with your friends so that he can use that as leverage to pressure you into having sex, then he isn’t treating you like a queen. He’s manipulating you. And that isn’t how real love works.

Your boyfriend may say he has needs and that he wants you to meet those needs. But you have needs as well – the need to be respected and honored and truly loved. And if he’s pressuring you to have sex or making threats that he’ll find another girl who will have sex with him, then he isn’t meeting your needs.

It’s understandable that you don’t want to lose this boyfriend – none of us likes to feel rejected. And it could feel that way. But if he’s pressuring you or threatening to leave you if you don’t have sex with him, he isn’t really rejecting you; he’s just selfishly wanting what he wants. And you deserve a better relationship than that. Maybe you could see this as you rejecting a relationship that isn’t respectful and healthy. You are so valuable, and your happiness is important. Are you going to be really happy if you go against your own values or give in to pressure to do something you’re not ready for?

When you’re really ready – when the time is right – you won’t feel pressured and you won’t be motivated by fear of losing someone. You’ll be motivated by true love – patient and gentle and selfless. And the right person won’t threaten to leave you if he doesn’t get his way. He won’t give you things and then hold it over your head to get what he wants. He won’t make you feel like his kindnesses to you are in exchange for sex.

Hold out for the right time and the right person. You’re worth it!

How Do I Talk To My Kids About STDs?

Sat, 01 Feb 2020 14:54:00 GMT

Collage, I read an article about STDs and how a huge number of teenagers have them. I feel like I should talk to my kids about STDs, but I don’t want them to think I’m giving them permission to have sex. Can you give me some advice? How do I talk to my kids about STDs?

First, let us say – good job, Mom or Dad! You’re willing to step outside your comfort zone in order to talk to your kids about important, but uncomfortable, topics. That’s awesome!

And you’re right to be concerned. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) , young people ages 15-24 make up about half of all new sexually transmitted infections (STIs) each year. That’s almost 10 million new cases of STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) each year for teenagers and young adults. So yes, you’re right, we need to talk to our kids about safe sexual behavior and sexual health — even if we really don’t want them to have sex until they’re older or married.

So how do you do that? How do you talk to your kids about STDs without giving the impression that you’re offering a free pass for premarital sex?

Be informed. Before you initiate a conversation with your kids, you need to have some knowledge. Obviously, you don’t have to be an expert on sexual health, but it’s good to know a little bit or have resources handy to look at together. The CDC has some excellent, easy-to-read fact sheets about STDs and sexual health. This link is a good place to start.

Ask questions. If your children attend public school, there’s a good chance they have learned some things about STDs in health class. They may also have learned some inaccurate things from friends. You might start the conversation by asking what they know or what they’ve heard and then go from there.

If possible, start when they’re young. If your kids are already teenagers, then – of course – you can’t hop in a DeLorean and go back in time. But if your kids are still young, you can start conversations about hygiene and sexual health when they’re little. By having small, casual conversations about how important it is to wash thoroughly in the bath or wear clean underwear or change from a wet swimsuit and using proper body part terminology when you talk, you destigmatize these sorts of conversations. That will make it easier to talk about things like STDs when they’re in middle school and high school.

Look for teachable moments to talk about your morals and values in a nonjudgmental way. As you and your kids are listening to the radio, use song lyrics as a springboard for conversation. Or when a couple in a movie or on TV has sex outside of marriage, use that as a conversation starter. Talk about healthy choices without degrading the people who are making choices you disagree with — maybe in a tone that expresses concern rather than judgment. Ask your children what advantages and disadvantages they see in the character’s choices. Have conversations in which you listen as much as you speak — which can sometimes be hard for us. It’s possible to convey our morals and values to our kids without sounding preachy.

Share the data and statistics objectively. Sometimes the fact sheets are more persuasive than our words could ever be. Look at the CDC fact sheets together. Talk about the statistics and the chances of getting an STD. Together, look at the information and description of each STD along with STD symptoms and the eventual effects of untreated STDs. The goal isn’t to terrify our children, but to inform them. If they’re considering making grown-up decisions, they need all the information the grown-ups have on the topic.

Start the talk early. Don’t wait until you think your child is already sexually active to talk about STDs. Then it might be too late to prevent an STD. Go ahead and talk about this as soon as you think your child is mature enough to talk about sex and relationships.

Have the conversations often. This isn’t a one-and-done sort of conversation. Talking about sexual health is an ongoing conversation. And the more you talk about it, the less awkward it feels.

If your child is already sexually active, take him or her to be tested for STDs. This doesn’t mean you approve of your child’s choices. But it does show that you value your child’s health. This also brings in a medical professional to help your child understand the health risks of sexual activity.

As our children grow up, they may or may not make all the choices we want them to make. As parents, our goal can’t be to create miniature versions of ourselves and force our kids to have the same opinions we have. But we can non-judgmentally teach our values and provide the information our kids need to make healthy choices. And the more we talk about these uncomfortable topics with our kids, the more opportunity we have to share our thoughts and learn about the people our children are becoming.

Plan B

Sat, 04 Jan 2020 12:00:00 GMT

If you’ve recently had sex, you may be interested in knowing more about Plan B (one type of morning-after pill).* At Collage, we’ve had many girls come to see us recently with concerns about this drug. Most of them have shared that they want more information. So we want to provide you with an accurate run down about risks you may experience by taking it.

Why you may be considering taking Plan B after unprotected sex

I was having sex the condom broke
I’m really normally careful, but this time things got carried away
I was drinking too much and didn’t use birth control
I’m on the pill but don’t take it regularly

Plan B is most effective when taken within seventy-two hours after having unprotected sex. If there’s any chance you could be pregnant from a previous sexual encounter it wouldn’t be effective.

Just so you know, we’ll make every effort to get you in for a pregnancy test appointment within your seventy-two-hour window so that you can make an informed decision. Our staff will sit down with you and help you sort things out.

There are other things you should consider before rushing to take any kind of drug.

Potential side effects to taking Plan B

Menstrual changes
Nausea
Lower stomach (abdominal pain)
Tiredness
Headache
Dizziness
Breast Pain
Vomiting

Other potential risks

Plan B doesn't protect you against STDs. If you’ve had any form of sex, protection or not, you’re still at risk for infection and should be tested. At Collage, we provide testing and treatment for Gonorrhea and Chlamydia, the two most common bacterial STDs at no cost to you. Just give us a call if you’d like to set up an appointment.

A Safe Place

While we don't recommend Plan B to our clients, we want you to be informed about all of your options. We promise to be a safe place to talk through your decisions without any pressure. Taking a drug of any kind is a pretty big decision.

Even if you decide to move forward with taking Plan B, we acknowledge that this is your decision. If you need someone to talk to later, to help you process we’re still here for you.

We also want to acknowledge that there may have been a time when you had unprotected sex as a result of an assault. We’re so sorry if this has happened to you. We’d encourage you to contact the Grand Island Police, Willow Rising in Grand Island, UNK Campus Police, or the Kearney Police right away. Also, the Family Advocacy Network in Kearney is a great resource if you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault.

*Please note that Plan B and RU486 are different drugs. For the purpose of this post, we’re only discussing Plan B, a drug that is taken after unprotected sex. RU486 ends a pregnancy but has only been approved by the FDA for use up to 70 days or 10 weeks after the last menstrual period.

Setting Goals Without Support

Sat, 21 Dec 2019 16:22:00 GMT

It’s that time of year. Many of us set goals for the new year. We dream of where we’d like to be at this time next year, and we start making plans to get there.

Maybe you’re doing that. Maybe you’re dreaming about the new year and setting goals for yourself. If so, that’s great! It’s important to set goals, to have something to work toward. It’s important that we grow. Norman Vincent Peale once said, “All successful people have a goal. No one can get anywhere unless he knows where he wants to go and what he wants to be or do.”

But what if you’re setting goals and the people around you aren’t supportive? What if your friends and family don’t encourage you – or maybe they even actively discourage you? What can you do?

First, it’s probably a good idea to pause and consider why they don’t support your goal? If they haven’t said why, then ask them.

Maybe your loved ones truly don’t think your goal is what’s best for you. If that’s the case, it’s time to do some serious soul-searching. Is this goal genuinely in your best interest? Is it good for your mind, your body, your emotions, your future, your relationships? Listen to their objections and weigh out whether there’s any truth to what they’re saying. Then decide if your dream is really what’s best for you.

Maybe your friends and family feel judged by your goals. Sometimes people take our choices personally or feel that our choosing a different path is a judgment on them. If your parents didn’t go to college and you really want to, then they might feel like you’re saying they aren’t good enough. If your significant other is working in a trade and you want to pursue a master’s degree, they might think your goal for yourself is a condemnation of their choices. Sometimes people’s lack of support is rooted in their own insecurities.

Or maybe their lack of support is rooted in their fears for you. If you want to drop out of college and become an entrepreneur, your family may be afraid that you’re choosing a hard path or that your business might not work out. So even though it might feel like your loved ones aren’t supporting you, maybe they’re coming from a place of love and concern. Knowing that can help you respond with love and grace.

After you figure out why your family and friends aren’t supportive and you decide to pursue your goals anyway, you can try to talk to them and explain yourself. You might not change their minds, but you’ll have said your piece. Then it’s important to remember that you can’t control other people; you can only control yourself.

If you’re going to pursue a goal without the support of your family, partner, or friends, what might help you?

Use their negativity as motivation. Some people work harder and find more success when they feel like they have something to prove. Channel that into the fuel you need to work hard.
Journal. Write down your goals and what you’re doing each day to reach them. Make note of each bit of progress you make. Choose positivity. Let your own written words be the encouragement you need.
Believe in yourself. Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” Educators call this a self-fulfilling prophecy. We often reach the goals we believe we can.
Find a supportive community. We’re not saying break all ties with your family and friends, but you can create a new community of support. Find a mentor. Seek out others who are pursuing similar goals, then encourage each other.

It might feel more difficult – and lonelier – to pursue goals without the loving support of your partner, your family, or your friends. But it isn’t impossible. And as you meet goals along the way, who knows? Maybe your people will come around. Maybe your passion and hard work will win them over.

Sexting – 4 Things You May Not Have Thought About

Sat, 07 Dec 2019 23:36:00 GMT

We live in a digital age of being constantly connected. We snap a picture of the giant piece of pizza we’re about to eat and Instagram it with a cute hashtag before we dig in. Going to a concert? We live-Tweet the experience or Snap our friends snippets of our favorite songs. Getting a haircut or manicure? We text our group-chat pictures each step of the way. We may even ask them to help pick out the manicure color, based on the pics we send. Because it’s second-nature to snap and text a pic of everything, it’s no surprise that approximately 1 in 7 teenagers reports sending sex-texts (sexts) and about 1 in 4 teens report receiving sexts .

So if that many people are doing it, what’s the big deal?

Here are 4 things you may not have thought about sexting, but you might want to consider —

Once you hit send, you lose all control. You might think you can trust this person now, but people can be fickle. What happens if he gets angry with you tomorrow or next week or next month? Or what if you become unhappy in the relationship and want to break up, but he has these pictures of you that you don’t want just anyone looking at? Even if you Snapchat a picture and assume it will vaporize after the person looks at it, he can screenshot it or use another phone to take a picture of your picture on his screen. Bottom line – once you send the picture to someone else, you’re at that person’s mercy forever.
Sexts can be used by cyberbullies. Once nude or sexually explicit pictures leave your control, you don’t know how they’ll be used. Someone could use the pictures to bully you or slut-shame you, spreading rumors about you around school – or even spreading the photo around school or posting it to social media. Or someone could try to blackmail you with the pictures, threatening to post it online or show it to others if you don’t do what he or she says. Again – once you hit send, you’re at the mercy of anyone who gets his or her hands on that picture.
Sexting can open the door for sexual predators. Maybe someone will blackmail you into doing sexual acts to keep the pictures secret. Or maybe someone will post the sext to a porn website. Or maybe someone will sell the image to a child porn collector. Once the picture leaves your control, you just don’t know what will happen or how you could be sexually exploited.
If you’re under age 18, sexting is probably illegal. Of all the ways sexting could ruin your life, catching child porn charges and having to register as a sex offender is maybe the biggest reason to think twice. Nude or even partially nude pictures of anyone under age 18 constitutes child pornography. The laws are different from state to state, but in some states any person who shares any nude or partially nude images of a minor can be charged with disseminating child porn and anyone who receives those images can be charged with possession of child porn — even if those images are taken and shared with consent or even if that person didn’t ask for the images. Some teens have been charged with disseminating or possessing child porn even if the images were of themselves! These charges could mean fines, strict probation, time in a juvenile detention facility or even jail time, and they could require you to register as a sex offender, which has a whole set of far-reaching consequences of its own (for example, many colleges won’t allow registered sex offenders to enroll in on-campus classes). It could mean having a felony on your record, which affects your job opportunities and whether or not you can vote and where you’re allowed to live. And if you text images to someone in another state, that could mean charges in multiple states. Sexting is a big deal for anyone, but it’s a much bigger deal when anyone involved is under age 18.

So what if someone asks you to send a nude selfie?

This is tough, and it might be really awkward. It could even end a relationship. But you have the right to protect your boundaries. If anyone pressures you to do anything you don’t want to, that is an unhealthy relationship. Ask for help from a trusted friend or adult. You definitely don’t want to do anything illegal and jeopardize your own future.

And what if someone sends you a naked pic? What should you do?

First, understand that if the picture is of someone younger than 18 and if you tell an adult, there will probably be an investigation and the police will probably get involved. So if the picture is from a friend or boyfriend or girlfriend, you might want to delete the picture completely from your phone. Don’t show anyone. Don’t forward the photo. Don’t keep the photo. And tell the person who sent it that you don’t want any more pictures like that because you don’t want to catch any charges. If the person doesn’t respect your boundaries, then you will need to get an adult involved.

If a friend or classmate sends you a nude picture of someone else, then that’s a different story. First, delete the picture completely from your phone. Then, tell the person who sent it that it’s not cool (or legal) to share nude pictures of other people. Then, tell an adult you trust about the incident and that you think someone might be being cyberbullied.

If there is an investigation and anyone asks if you received the images, be honest and explain that you deleted the pictures immediately. Your cell phone records may be requested, but a search of the records and your phone will confirm that you deleted the pictures immediately. If you keep the pictures on your phone and don’t delete immediately, then you have been in possession of child porn and could be charged.

If someone you don’t know or an adult sends you nude pictures, keep the photos on your phone and immediately show an adult you trust. This is harassment and abuse, and you deserve to be protected from it. If you’re being harassed with unwanted text messages, you can block the person from contacting you — but if you’re not 18, be sure to tell an adult as well. You don’t have to handle this on your own.

Remember you lose any control of your privacy once you hit send. Before you share racy photos of yourself or before you receive racy photos of someone else, consider the risks and ask yourself if it’s really worth it.

6 Ways To Understand Your Self-Worth

Sat, 09 Nov 2019 16:59:00 GMT

We live in a comparison culture. Advertising, traditional media, and social media seem to be built on comparisons. And we’re often comparing all the ugly truth we know about ourselves with someone else’s carefully curated social media image. Someone once said it’s like we’re comparing our own blooper reel to someone else’s highlight reel — our worst with their best.

The constant barrage of other people’s filtered photos — their perfect-looking vacations, their Pinterest-worthy outfits, their 20 best minutes of the week. All of it can make us feel less-than. Less pretty. Less successful. Less fun. Less worthy.

And when we aren’t feeling our own self-worth, we’re more likely to get caught up in relationships and behaviors that don’t place value on us. We’re less likely to set healthy boundaries or set high enough standards for how others treat us if we don’t see our own self-worth.

So how can we build self-esteem? How can we better see our own self-worth? Well, we don’t have all the answers, but we came up with 6 things you can do to help you feel your own self-worth.

Surround yourself with people who build you up. Obviously, some of us have parents or family members who tend to tear us down or make us feel criticized. There’s nothing we can do about that. If you’re under a certain age, you may not have a choice about whether to be around those people. But you can choose friends who build you up, friends who recognize the beauty in you. You can also find a mentor who will encourage you and speak positive things to you.
Monitor the messages coming into your life. If spending time on Instagram makes you feel bad about yourself or less-than, then stop scrolling. If looking through fashion magazines makes you feel like you don’t measure up, put down the magazine. If scrolling Pinterest makes you feel like a hot mess, delete the app from your phone. Pay attention to how you feel after consuming too much media – social or traditional – and make the adjustments you need to for your own mental and emotional health.
Talk kindly to yourself. Often, the sort of things we say to ourselves, we’d never say to a friend! Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to your very best friend. When you mess up, talk to yourself the way you would a friend. Assure yourself that it’s OK to be human, then learn from the mistake and move on. When you look in the mirror, find one thing to compliment yourself on – imagine the person in the mirror is your best friend and ask, “What would I say to my friend if she showed up looking like this?” Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself, and then re-frame any negative thoughts into positive ones.
Set achievable goals and then work toward them. When we accomplish goals, we feel good about ourselves. If this is new to you, start small. Make a daily to-do list and think of one goal for the day. Maybe it’s walking for one mile, reading 10 pages of a book, studying for that test, making that one hard phone call, or eating a healthy meal. At the end of the day, cross the tasks off your list and see if you met your daily goal. Gradually work your way up to weekly or monthly goals. Be sure to celebrate yourself when you meet your goals!
Keep a gratitude journal. At the end of every day, write down 5 things you’re thankful for and one thing you’re proud of yourself for or one thing you like about yourself. Creating a space within each day to recognize your own value is a healthy way to build self-esteem.
Volunteer. We feel good about ourselves when we help other people. What does your community need that you have to offer? Find a way to serve others, and you’ll feel valuable to your community. That’s sure to help you see your own self-worth!

Here’s the thing — we all have value just because we exist. You’re worthy of love. You’re worthy of joy and goodness. And your worth isn’t measured in how many social media hearts you get or how often you’re ReTweeted. Even if all your Pinterest attempts fail, you’re still valuable. And those media-perfect images you’re comparing yourself to aren’t realistic; they don’t tell the full story. You don’t know what’s been cropped out and filtered over or how many pictures got deleted before that one got posted. You’re enough – exactly as you are. Your past mistakes, your weaknesses and flaws, your insecurities – none of that diminishes your worth. Actually, all of that is what makes you uniquely, beautifully you!

If you’re struggling to see your self-worth or if you’ve had a hard time setting healthy boundaries because of your lack of self-esteem, we’d love to talk with you. Call us and someone on our staff will listen and connect you to some resources that can help you live your best, healthiest life. Because you’re worth it!

What Is HPV?

Sat, 19 Oct 2019 12:00:00 GMT

You might have heard of HPV. Maybe your doctor even asked if you wanted to be vaccinated against HPV. But maybe you aren’t exactly sure what it is. So what is HPV?

HPV is short for human papilloma virus. It’s a group of more than 100 viruses, more than 30 of which can be sexually transmitted. Papillomas are bumps or warts — that’s how the virus got its name because these viruses often cause bumps or warts. Different viruses affect different parts of the body and cause warts on whatever part of the body is affected. For example, some types of HPV affect the feet and cause plantar warts on the feet. And some types of HPV affect the genital areas and cause genital warts.

How do people get HPV? HPV can be passed through vaginal, oral, and anal sex, as well as genital to genital contact with someone who has the virus. It can be transmitted from one person to another even if there are no symptoms or signs of the virus.

How common is it? HPV is very common. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 79 million Americans have HPV. It’s estimated that about 80% of sexually active people will become infected with HPV at some point in their lives, with most people never knowing they have it.

Is HPV dangerous? In the majority of cases, HPV goes away on its own and doesn’t cause any problems. Sometimes, though, HPV will cause genital warts or certain kinds of cancer.

Genital warts are single bumps or clusters of bumps in the genital area. For women, these bumps can appear on the vulva, on the cervix, inside the vagina, on the groin, or near the anus. For men, these bumps can show up on the penis or scrotum, on the groin, or near the anus. Usually, these bumps or warts don’t cause any discomfort or pain, but they might itch.

HPV cancers could be cancer of the cervix, vulva, vagina, penis, or anus. It could also cause cancer in the throat, tongue, or tonsils. It can take years – even decades – to develop cancer after contracting HPV, potentially with no symptoms in that time. The viruses that cause genital warts are not the same viruses that cause cancer.

How do you protect yourself from HPV? There are some things you can do to protect yourself from getting HPV. First, you can consider getting vaccinated. The CDC recommends that everyone receive the vaccine starting at age 11 or 12, before you become sexually active. You can also protect yourself by limiting your number of sexual partners and using a latex condom when you do have sexual contact. But really, the only way to 100% protect yourself is to only have any kind of sex within a mutually monogamous relationship with another person who doesn’t have HPV – that means you both only ever have any kind of sex with each other.

How do you know if you have HPV? If you think you have genital warts, a doctor can examine those and determine whether or not it’s HPV-related genital warts or something else. There are tests to screen women for cervical cancer, but those tests aren’t recommended for women under age 30. Doctors do routinely perform pap tests on women during the annual exam, and an abnormal pap test result could indicate HPV. Other people never know they have HPV until they develop cancer.

Do you have other questions about HPV? We’d be glad to talk with you and help answer your questions. You deserve to be healthy, and we want to help you as you take charge of your sexual health.

I Think My Girlfriend’s Pregnant

Sat, 05 Oct 2019 17:06:00 GMT

Dear Collage, I think my girlfriend is pregnant. I’m kind of freaking out. I mean, I’m not sure I’m ready for all that. She’s talking like maybe we have to get married. I’m like — Woah. Hold up! This is a lot. I wasn’t thinking about having a baby right now. What should I do?

Finding out about an unexpected pregnancy can be pretty scary and overwhelming. You’re right – it is a lot. It’s a lot of information to process — and a lot of emotions to sort through. “Woah. Hold up,” is exactly right — it’s good to pause, take a breath, and process through some thoughts and feelings before making any decisions.

First, are you sure she’s pregnant? The first thing to do is to confirm the pregnancy. While a pregnancy test is pretty accurate, it’s only an indication of pregnancy. She can go to her medical provider or she can come to our office to confirm that she’s really pregnant. We’ll have her take a lab-quality pregnancy test and if that comes back positive, we can also discuss if an ultrasound is appropriate. The ultrasound is the way we confirm there’s actually a pregnancy. If you want to, and if she wants you there, you can join her for that appointment.

If the test is negative and your girlfriend’s not pregnant, that’s a good time to talk with a healthcare provider about preventing pregnancies. Any time you’re sexually active in a heterosexual relationship, a pregnancy could occur. Our staff or a medical provider can talk with you about ways to reduce or eliminate that risk.

If the test is positive and your girlfriend’s pregnant, then you have some choices to make.

The main options are —

Have the baby and raise him or her
Place the baby into temporary foster care until you get things in order so you can raise the baby
Place the baby for adoption
Have an abortion

Here’s a link that goes into more detail about some of these options .

Ultimately, the decision about whether to continue with the pregnancy and have the baby is your girlfriend’s choice. That’s just the way the law is. But you can calmly talk with her and share your opinion. If you aren’t on the same page, you may want to talk through this with a third person who can be a mediator — maybe a counselor or a pastor or a trusted adult friend. Our staff is also willing to sit down with both of you as you discuss your options.

If you decide to have the baby, then you can decide together how you want to co-parent. Will your parents help? Do you have a support system? Are you really ready to get married? How will you financially contribute? Make a written list of all the things you need to consider or decide.

The good thing about a pregnancy is that it lasts 9 months, so you have some time to figure out the logistics before the baby is born. Take your time, seek wise advice from adults you trust, and try to calmly make decisions together. Don’t rush into any secondary permanent decisions that might compound your stress. Breathe. Take a minute and get through all those initial overwhelming feelings before you make any big decisions.

It’s a lot, but you don’t have to figure it all out right away. And you don’t have to figure it all out by yourselves. Ask for help and take things one step at a time. If you don’t know who else to ask for help, our staff is ready to walk with you through this step-by-step. You can call today to talk to someone on the phone or to schedule an appointment. You don’t have to handle this alone.

Preparing For Date Night

Sat, 07 Sep 2019 15:37:00 GMT

When we think of preparing for a first date, we think of choosing the perfect outfit – probably we need to go shopping or raid a girlfriend’s closet to find something new to wear. We think about fixing our hair just right, of doing our make-up like that YouTube tutorial we just watched. We think about the plans for the night – what restaurant we’ll go to, maybe what we’ll order (something that isn’t too messy!). Maybe we plan what we’ll do after dinner – do we want to see a movie? or go out dancing? or catch the live music at that coffeehouse down the street?

It makes sense to spend time preparing our plans and preparing our appearance. But are we missing some other key preparations for date night?

Here are 5 other things we can do to prepare for a first date:

1. Relax. Don’t put too much pressure on this first date. You aren’t living in a rom-com, and this doesn’t have to be the most romantic date ever. Keep things casual and simple with the goal of getting to know each other.

2. Prioritize your safety. Meet in a public place. Provide your own ride so you don’t have to be alone in a car with a stranger. Share your location with your best friend. And trust your gut – if you feel unsafe, end the date early.

3. Decide your boundaries. Before you find yourself in the position of making an on-the-spot decision or before you’re in a compromised situation, decide what your physical boundaries will be. Do you really want to hook up on the first date? Are you comfortable with even kissing on the first date? Know your own boundaries and honor those. If you’re feeling pressured to change your boundaries or if your boundaries aren’t respected, that’s a huge red flag – and probably this first date should be the last with that person.

4. Communicate your boundaries. Maybe it’s too awkward to straight up have a conversation about physical boundaries at the beginning of a first date, and maybe you don’t need to just yet. But if things start to get physical at all – if he’s comfortable touching your leg or putting his arm around you – or if he mentions going back to his place or yours, then it’s time to talk about boundaries and expectations. It’s important that you’re on the same page. And the only way to be on the same page is to talk about it. So be honest and speak up about what your limits are.

5. Plan to have fun, but be wise. The point of the date should be to have fun together. If you’re not having any fun, then maybe this guy isn’t second-date material. But it’s also important that you stay wise and in control of yourself. In order to best protect yourself from becoming too vulnerable, stay sober. If you’re drunk or high, you aren’t in the best position to maintain boundaries or keep yourself safe.

So go ahead – put on that hype playlist and try on all the outfits and fix your hair and makeup. But spend some time preparing for your safety and protection too. Because you deserve to look great and have fun, and you deserve to be safe and respected.

High School Safety

Sun, 18 Aug 2019 15:15:00 GMT

When most people think of school safety, they immediately think of lockdown drills and measures to protect students from mass shootings. Though that’s certainly a big concern for students and their parents, it isn’t the only safety issue students face.

It’s also common for students and their parents to be concerned about teen driving safety, bullying and physical safety, safety from things like vaping and drug or alcohol use, sports safety, school bus safety. And the list could go on. One particular concern for teenagers is dating safety or sexual violence.

Sexual violence is any sexual activity when consent is not freely given. Sexual violence can impact anyone of any age, any gender, any sexual orientation. And it’s very common. According to the CDC , 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experience sexual violence during their lifetime. 1 in 3 female rape victims report that they first experienced sexual assault between ages 11 and 17. And nearly 1 in 4 male rape victims first experienced sexual assault between ages 11 and 17.

The statistics are startling and heartbreaking. So if you’re a parent, how do you protect your children? And if you’re a student, how do you protect yourself?

Understand consent. Everyone should ask for consent before touching another person. And kissing or touching require an enthusiastic yes, or it’s a no.

Be an active, helpful bystander. Sexual assault – or any kind of assault – is less likely to happen if we’re looking out for each other. There are some ways we can help each other and create a culture with social norms that discourage sexual violence. Speak up against sexist or homophobic jokes. Confront abusive behavior if it’s safe to do so or get help if it’s not safe to intervene. Keep an eye on people in vulnerable situations. Step in and say something or do something to stop sexual assault. And help friends get home or to a safe location if they’re vulnerable to assault.

Protect boundaries. It’s healthy to have physical boundaries. You decide who can touch you, when you want to be touched, how much you want to be touched, and where you want to be touched. It’s also healthy to have emotional boundaries. You get to decide how close you feel to a person and what information you want to share with that person. Not everybody gets to know all your business or the details of your life. You get to make that choice. And you get to decide what your behavioral boundaries are – what you will or will not do and what rules or moral guidelines you have for yourself. If someone violates your boundaries, you can speak up or get help to protect your boundaries. Sometimes an acquaintance or friend or boyfriend will test boundaries before progressing to sexual assault, so speak up at the first sign that your boundaries aren’t being respected.

Practice safe dating. Nobody ever deserves to be sexually assaulted, and nothing you do ever makes it OK for someone to assault you. Having said that, there are some things you can do to help protect yourself.

Date in public places. Though it might be fun and less expensive to watch Netflix in the basement, you’ll be safer in a public place.
Double date or group date – especially if you do want to watch a movie at home. This way, you and your friends can keep an eye on each other.
Keep watch on your food and drink. We never want to think that someone would slip us drugs in order to make us disoriented or unconscious, but it does happen. Only drink what you open yourself or what you watch prepared by a server/bartender. And don’t leave any food or drink unattended.
Limit alcohol. (Obviously, if you’re underage, it’s best not to drink alcohol at all.) Alcohol lowers your inhibitions and makes it easier for you to be convinced to go off alone. Too much alcohol can make you lose the ability to protect yourself, so if you’re tipsy or drunk, you’re a target for predators.
Provide your own transportation. You’re vulnerable when you’re depending on someone else for a ride. Really, you’re at the mercy of the driver. If you drive yourself, you won’t be trapped in a car with someone who wants to sexually assault you.
Protect yourself. Carry pepper spray with you, so you can spray an attacker and run.
Only invite people you know very well into your home. Coming into your personal space is a privilege and should be gradually earned over time.
Trust your gut. If you have an off feeling about someone, trust that. And if you get an uneasy feeling, feel free to leave the date early or refuse any future dates. Don’t worry about seeming rude. Your safety is more important than your coming across as nice or polite. If something feels wrong, go ahead and bail on the date.

These are some strategies to help protect ourselves and minimize the risk of sexual assault. Sadly, though, there isn’t a way to 100% protect ourselves from sexual assault. Evil people will find ways to be evil. Sometimes, even if we do everything we can to protect ourselves, sexual assault still happens.

If you’re a survivor of sexual assault and you need to talk to someone, call us and we’ll listen and connect you to the people who can best help you. Trauma from sexual assault can have a major impact on your life and might be something you need help dealing with – even years or decades later. The big thing we want you to know is that you didn’t do anything to cause sexual assault and you aren’t to blame for what happened to you. You are valuable and you deserve to be healthy and whole.

How Do I Talk To My Son About Girls?

Sat, 20 Jul 2019 12:00:00 GMT

Just like talking to your daughter about boys is an ongoing conversation, talking to your son about girls is also an ongoing conversation that begins when they’re little and continues as they grow up.

If your sons are little, now is a great time to start the conversation with these tips. But if your son is already a teenager, it isn’t too late. Jump into the conversation now with these tips in mind.

1 – Encourage healthy friendships with girls. It’s important that boys see girls as valuable and equal. And one way to develop this healthy respect is through friendships. When boys are friends with girls, they’re less likely to view girls only as physical beauties or dating options or sex objects. So create opportunities for your son to interact with girls in friendly settings. And allow him to be friends with girls without teasing him about a girlfriend. Before boys are ready to date girls, they should have some solid friendships with girls.

2 – Teach your son to respect women. You can do this by modeling respect for the women in his life. Point out the strengths of the women you know. Show respect for women in leadership and authority. Refrain from commenting on women’s appearances so that boys grow up knowing that a woman’s beauty or lack of beauty has no bearing on her abilities and what she has to offer the world. Celebrate and champion other women so that your son will follow that example.

3 – Teach your son to set and honor boundaries. Your son doesn’t want to hug that relative goodbye? Allow him to offer a wave or a high-five instead. Give him permission to set boundaries about his own personal space. At the same time, teach him to respect the boundaries others set. It isn’t cute when he yanks on that little girl’s ponytail or chases his classmate around the playground trying to grab her. It’s never too early for your son to learn about consent, that we don’t touch people without their permission. Similarly, if he doesn’t want his teammates to smack his behind after a good play on the field or court, help him speak to the coach to create more comfortable ways for his team to celebrate and encourage each other. Physical boundaries are healthy and good, and it’s never too early to start teaching your son this truth.

4 – Provide a safe space for questions and conversation. Ask your son open-ended questions and attentively listen to his answers without rushing to give advice. Too often, we parents turn conversations into lectures, and this turns kids off from talking with us. Instead of lecturing, we can ask follow-up questions and guide our kids to think for themselves, offering our opinions or guidance in small snippets after our kids know we’re fully in their corner and interested in their thoughts and feelings. Sometimes kids are hesitant to have conversations that feel awkward if they’re sitting across from their parents looking eye-to-eye. The focus is too much on them, so they feel embarrassed. They may be more likely to talk if you’re riding in a car or doing a task side-by-side, like cooking a meal or folding laundry or washing the car. Kids also may be more willing to be vulnerable and talk openly at bedtime when the lights are low, so don’t underestimate the importance of stopping into a teenager’s room for a nightly tuck-in.

5 – Honor your child’s feelings. Just as we said about our daughters, it’s easy to trivialize a middle-school crush or to dismiss a 16-year-old’s break-up because we have the experience of knowing these are tiny blips on the big screen of life. But these sorts of things are big deals in their world. It’s a big deal when your son musters up the courage to ask a girl to a dance and she turns him down. Honor that hurt and embarrassment. It’s a big deal when his buddy asks out the girl who sits beside him in algebra that he’s been crushing on all year. Honor and validate that pain. Your son will be more likely to talk honestly with you when he feels his emotions are honored by you.

6 – Talk about sex in a way that doesn’t make him feel ashamed. Your son probably spends a lot of time thinking about sex. His teenage body is flooded with hormones, so he can’t really help it. You can talk to him about sex in a way that doesn’t make him feel ashamed. Reassure him his curiosity and interest are normal, even if your value system includes the preference that he wait until he’s married to have sex. If your son has looked at pornography, talk about that in a way that doesn’t shame him. Shame isn’t a very effective tool for teaching or for building relationship. You can convey your values in a way that expresses love and wanting the best for him without shaming him.

7 – Teach him that boys will be boys is not an excuse for bad behavior. Yes, boys are typically different than girls. But that difference doesn’t have to translate to disrespectful or selfish. We can appreciate a son’s adventurous spirit and appetite for risk-taking in ways that are healthy and legal and respectful — rock climbing, white-water rafting, mountain biking, platform diving, skateboarding. And we can make room for noisy, wiggly, attention-challenged sons by setting realistic expectations and encouraging creativity and movement when appropriate. But we can still teach manners and respect and appropriate behavior, rather than chalking up rudeness and disrespect to boys will be boys.

8 – Finally, teach your son that his value doesn’t come from other’s opinions or standards. There’s a lot of talk lately about the difference between healthy masculinity and toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity isn’t only toxic for women; it’s also dangerous for our sons. There can be a lot of pressure for boys to man-up or be manly enough – whatever that’s supposed to mean. Assure your son often of his value simply because he exists and is yours. Be mindful of messages your son may be hearing about what it means to be a man and counter those with the truth that healthy manhood can look a lot of different ways.

Compliment him on his strengths and talents, even (or especially) when those strengths aren’t stereotypical masculine strengths. Help him learn to love himself exactly as he is. The first step to any healthy relationship is being comfortable with himself and loving himself.

How Do I Talk To My Daughter About Boys?

Sat, 06 Jul 2019 12:00:00 GMT

Talking to your daughter about boys and dating is a conversation that should begin long before she is of dating age and is ongoing. In other words, this isn’t a one-and-done conversation you have when she starts high school.

So if you have a young daughter, you can start now with these tips. And if you’ve waited until she’s in middle or high school, it isn’t too late. You can probably get a few ideas from these tips as well.

Encourage healthy friendships with boys. It may seem cute to tease a five-year-old girl about her boyfriend – the little boy she plays with on the playground at school. But it’s important for kids to learn at a young age what healthy friendships with both genders look like. Every boy isn’t a potential boyfriend, and her value isn’t only as a girlfriend. Before teenage girls have romantic relationships, it’s important that they’ve had years of experience building solid friendships with boys, based on respect and common interests and having fun.

Compliment your daughter about her strengths. It’s OK to compliment your daughter about her appearance because it’s important for girls to feel beautiful. But we should also compliment our daughters about their strengths and abilities so they feel confident. Confident girls can better protect boundaries and have high expectations for how they should be treated. Which brings us to our next point . . .

Teach your daughter to set healthy boundaries. She doesn’t want to hug her uncle goodbye? OK. She doesn’t have to. She can give him a respectful wave or fun high-five. It’s good for her to set boundaries for her own body and personal space. Is that little boy at school pulling her ponytail or chasing her when she doesn’t want to be chased? Teach her to kindly and firmly ask him to stop, then ask a grown-up for help if he doesn’t. We can teach boundaries to kids from a very young age when we teach them to respect other people’s things, to ask before touching someone else, to verbalize their feelings or wants, and to say no when people are asking or pressuring them to do things they don’t want to do.

Ask questions. And listen with as little judgment as you can. Obviously, you’re the parent and your job is to offer guidance, but pretty much every parent knows the tendency to turn conversations into what we call teachable moments and what our kids call lectures. So ask some open-ended questions and listen to their answers. Maybe you can use a movie or TV show or a conversation you overhear them having with a friend as a springboard for discussion.

Honor your daughter’s feelings/emotions. It’s easy for us to trivialize the crush our 11-year-old girl has on that boy in math class because we know this may well be the first of many crushes. But for your daughter, this is serious and her emotions are big – and very real – emotions. Nothing shuts down the line of communication between a tween or teen and her parents quite like feeling belittled or invalidated.

Talk about sex, but not only about sex. Yes, talk about sex and sexual health, but also talk about the emotions that go along with it. Though it’s important to talk about things like pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), it’s also really important to talk about emotional intimacy or how to start a conversation with a cute boy or how to handle it if the boy you like doesn’t like you back. If your daughter really wants to talk about how she feels jealous that the boy she likes sometimes pays more attention to her best friend, it might freak her out if you start talking about syphilis and genital warts. For the most part, open the conversation in a non-threatening way, and then let your daughter guide the conversation. Follow her cues.

Set rules and boundaries of your own. Kids might like to complain about their parents’ strict rules, but they really do like having boundaries and clear expectations. It makes them feel safe. Kids also usually need their parents to be the bad guy because they often don’t quite have the skillset to stand firm in saying no or in making wise choices with no limits from Mom or Dad. So go ahead and install the filter on the Internet browser, spot-check their phones, set parental controls on their phones, keep tabs on their social media. So much of tween and teen romance happens on social media and via text. You aren’t being nosy when you check up on your kid; you’re being a good parent. And if you see red flags, like text messages that are sexually inappropriate or a boy whose texts seem almost stalkerish or controlling, you can talk about those with your daughter and reinforce the things you taught her about setting boundaries, having confidence, and asking for help.

Finally, Assure her that her value doesn’t come from what others think about her. It’s easy for teenage girls – heck, for all women – to believe the lie that we’re only valuable if we’re half of a couple or if guys are asking us out. Model with your own talk about yourself and others that our value doesn’t come from what others think about us. Teach your daughter to love herself. Crushes, and even boyfriends, will come and go, but your daughter will live with herself forever, so she needs to love herself. Loving and valuing herself is a good start to every healthy relationship she will have in her life.

A Dad’s Rights

Sun, 23 Jun 2019 14:29:00 GMT

If you’ve just found out that your girlfriend or a girl you’ve been with is pregnant, you might be wondering what legal rights you have in the situation. Will you share custody or have regular visits with your child? Maybe she’s told you that she’s made an adoption plan, but you’re wondering – can she do that without you? Or she wants to have an abortion, but you’re not so sure – can you stop her?

Legally, what are the dad’s rights?

The specifics are a little different from state to state, so you’ll probably want to consult legal counsel. But there are some general guidelines.

If a pregnant woman is married, the courts assume the husband is the father of the baby. If the mother is not married, there is no legal presumption of paternity. The law doesn’t make any assumptions about who the father is, even if the mother is in a long-term dating relationship with a boyfriend. So paternity must be established. If an unwed father wants any legal rights, he has to establish paternity. And if the unwed mother wants the father to provide any financial child support, she has to establish his paternity.

How do you establish paternity?

One way is for the father’s name to be on the baby’s birth certificate. How do you do that? The father is present at the birth of the baby and helps fill out the birth certificate forms, making sure his name is listed.

But what if the mother and father aren’t in a relationship anymore and she doesn’t want him at the birth?

There’s still a way to establish paternity. Some states have something called a Putative Father Registry. Nebraska has a Biological Father Registry. This is a way for men to notify the state before a baby is even born, basically letting the state know he thinks he’s the father of a baby and wants to be notified or included in any decisions that affect custody of that child. You can look at this as a man staking his claim, declaring he intends to claim paternity of a child as soon as the baby is born. If a state has a Putative Father Registry, adoption agencies and the courts check that list before finalizing any adoptions.

If a father’s name isn’t on the birth certificate, most courts assume the father isn’t interested or doesn’t want to be involved. The Putative Father Registry, or Biological Father Registry, is a way for men to let the state know they do want to be involved. So if you’re a man and you think you’ve fathered a baby and want to be involved in that child’s life, it’s important that you get signed onto that registry as soon as you know about the pregnancy. This registry doesn’t establish paternity, but it is a step in that direction and helps protect the father’s rights. If your state doesn’t have a Putative Father Registry, then you can contact a family law attorney and ask about a Voluntary Acknowledgement of Paternity form, which is another good first step in establishing paternity.

If the father’s name isn’t on the birth certificate, he can still establish paternity; it’s just a little more complicated. The father and baby will provide DNA to establish paternity. If the mother doesn’t want to cooperate, the man who wants to prove paternity will have to get a court order to get the DNA sample from the baby. A family law attorney can help with this. If you can’t afford an attorney, you can call your local Legal Aid Society and someone there can probably help you.

All of these steps can help a father be involved in the decision of whether or not to place a child for adoption and help a father get some level of custody. Once a man has indicated to the state that he wants to parent a child and doesn’t want to relinquish his parental rights, it’s very difficult – if not impossible – for a woman to place the baby for adoption without his permission.

What about abortion?

If a man’s wife or girlfriend is pregnant and chooses to have an abortion, she does not legally have to get his consent. The United States Supreme Court has found laws requiring a spouse’s consent for abortion to be unconstitutional . The Supreme Court also found a law requiring the father to be notified about an abortion to be unconstitutional . If a man and woman do not agree on whether or not to have an abortion, only one choice can be made, and the Supreme Court reasoned that because a pregnancy affects the woman more, the final decision rests with her. So if the woman wants an abortion, the man doesn’t have the legal right to prevent her from doing so.

The decision to terminate a pregnancy can be a very emotional one, especially if your partner chooses abortion and you would’ve preferred to raise the baby. If you’re a man in that situation, we’re here to provide resources and to help you get the counseling and support you need. Please call us today to schedule an appointment.

If you think you’ve fathered a baby, and you want to be involved in raising your child, good for you! Many studies show that children with involved fathers (or father-figures) fare better in every way. As a father, you have rights and responsibilities. If you’re not married to the mother, establishing those rights and responsibilities is a bit more complicated, but not impossible. Talk to a family law attorney or contact your local Legal Aid Society to take the appropriate steps to establish paternity and gain parental rights.

Domestic Violence – 5 Red Flags To Watch For

Sat, 08 Jun 2019 22:52:00 GMT

Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone. It happens between heterosexual relationships and same-sex relationship. It happens across every socio-economic level, every race, every culture, every age range. And because abuse doesn’t usually start out with physical violence, the abuse can gradually creep up and slowly make you feel trapped.

So what are the warning signs? We’ve compiled a list of some red flags you can look out for. These signs aren’t a guarantee that your relationship is headed for physical abuse, but if you see a combination of these signs in your relationship, it should raise some red flags for you.

1 – Controlling behavior. If your partner does any of the following things, you’re wise to be extra cautious:

tries to tell you what to wear or how to look or criticizes your appearance or weight
refuses to let you work or, on the other extreme, forces you to work in a job you don’t want
becomes angry if you have a different opinion or never wants you to offer advice or input
has to know where you are every second and constantly checks up on your or tracks your phone
limits your access to cash or credit/debit cards and makes you account for every dollar you spend
limits your access to a car or makes you feel as if you can’t leave home whenever you want

2 – Cuts you off from friends and family. If your partner makes you ask permission to spend time with other people or becomes angry when you want to spend time with friends or family, that’s a warning sign. If he/she humiliates or embarrasses you or treats you so badly in front of other people that you avoid spending time with others, that’s also a warning sign. An abuser wants to isolate you so that other people won’t realize what’s happening and so that you feel trapped.

3 – Moves too fast. As your relationship progresses, an abusive person may push the relationship too quickly. If this person can get you committed very quickly, he/she can gain more control over you. If you feel like things are moving too fast, trust your gut. Maybe your boyfriend/girlfriend is pressuring you to become physically intimate before you’re ready or is pressuring you to move in together or to get married before you’re ready. Maybe your partner is making grand gestures or expensive purchases for you very early in the relationship that make you feel obligated to stay in the relationship. If things are moving too quickly, don’t hesitate to speak up. Trust your gut.

4 – Blames and threatens. When things go wrong, does your partner blame you? Are all past relationship problems completely an ex-partner’s fault? Does your partner regularly blame a parent or a boss or a co-worker for problems without ever taking responsibility? Maybe your partner randomly accuses you of having an affair or of some other offense that you haven’t done. Abusers want to feel superior to others, and blaming is one way to accomplish that. Threatening is another way an abusive person feels in control and intimidates a partner. If your partner threatens to hurt you or your family, that’s a major red flag. If your partner threatens to harm himself or herself or threatens to commit suicide if you don’t do what he/she says, that’s also a red flag you shouldn’t ignore. If your partner threatens to leave you and take your children so you can’t see them or threatens to harm your children, that’s also a red flag you can’t ignore.

5 – Verbal or physical or sexual violence. Any time a partner screams insults at you, curses you, or makes you feel belittled, that’s verbal abuse and could escalate to physical violence. If your partner gets angry and punches a wall or throws things or breaks things, that’s a huge red flag that physical violence is a possibility. And if your partner physically hurts you or forces you to have any kind of sex or touches you when you don’t want to be touched, you’re already being abused. Even if it’s only happened once or twice or even if you weren’t “really hurt,” it’s still domestic abuse.

If you notice any of these warning signs in your relationship, we encourage you to find someone to talk to – whether it’s a trusted friend or family member or a professional. Abusers are often really good at hiding who they really are, so even your closest friends and family may not see what’s going on. Trust your gut. If you’re afraid you’re being abused, that’s a pretty good sign that your relationship isn’t a healthy one. And the longer you stay, the more danger you’re in and the more difficult it will be to get out.

You deserve a safe, respectful, healthy relationship. If you feel like your relationship isn’t safe or respectful or healthy, we’re available to help you. Call us, and we can refer you to professionals or organizations with the resources and guidance you need.

Casual Sex – What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Sat, 18 May 2019 15:02:00 GMT

Tina Turner sang about it. And it’s a catchy tune. “It’s physical. Only logical. You must try to ignore that it means more than that. What’s love got to do, got to do with it? What’s love but a second-hand emotion?”

Casual sex – it’s pretty common on TV and in the movies. And in real life, some people who want sex but who aren’t ready for a relationship think it’s the solution to their problems – no big deal. And with hookup or dating apps so popular and ready at our fingertips, it’s easier than ever to have casual sex, no-strings-attached.

But is it no big deal? Is casual sex good for you? Is casual sex even possible?

First, sex – by its very definition – is anything but casual. Being naked and vulnerable is one of the most intimate things two people can do. There’s nothing casual about that kind of intimacy. So maybe casual sex isn’t the best name for it.

No-strings-attached sex isn’t as simple as we may think. From the moment we become sexually aroused – when we first begin to feel sexually excited – our bodies experience biological changes. And the biological changes in men and women are different. For women, one of the first biological responses is that the emotional center of the brain is activated. So even though we want to have sex with no emotional ties, our brains don’t cooperate with that.

When we’re having sex, both men’s and women’s bodies release dopamine. What’s dopamine? Well, that could be a long, complicated answer, but to put it in the most simple way – dopamine is like pleasure or a “high” flooding your brain. Adrenalin is also released during sex. Our immune systems get a boost during sex, too. So a lot of feel-good things happen to our bodies when we’re having sex.

During orgasm, our bodies release serotonin, a neurotransmitter that makes us feel peaceful, happy, and hopeful. We also experience a flood of oxytocin. Oxytocin is sometimes called the love hormone. This hormone is linked to empathy, trust, relationship-building, and connection. Trust. Relationship building. Connection. Exactly the things we’re trying to avoid if we are looking for casual, no-strings-attached sex.

Our bodies are wired in a way that automatically triggers certain emotional responses when we have sex. The way our bodies are wired – the hormones, the chemicals – makes casual sex very unlikely, if not impossible.

So what are the risks of casual sex?

Obviously, the physical risk is becoming infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or getting pregnant. The only way to 100% prevent pregnancy is to not have sex. And the only 100% way to prevent an STD is to only have any kind of sexual activity – oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex, or even skin-to-skin contact in the genital area – in a mutually monogamous relationship with someone who doesn’t have an STD. That means you both are absolutely sure you don’t have STDs and you only ever have sex with each other.

The other risks of casual sex are the emotional risks. If your body is designed to release chemicals and hormones that make you feel connected to the person you’re having sex with, but you’ve decided you don’t want to be in a relationship with each other, then you’re going to have some conflict. Your mind has decided one thing, but your emotions are triggered by chemicals to want or to feel something else.

So back to Tina Turner’s song – she sang, “You must understand, though the touch of your hand makes my pulse react, that it’s only the thrill of boy meeting girl . . . I’ve been taking on a new direction, but I have to say I’ve been thinking about my own protection. It scares me to feel this way. What’s love got to do, got to do with it? What’s love got to do, got to do with it?” Even Tina Turner seemed to understand that, though we try to protect our hearts, sex evokes emotions and connection. No matter how much we try not to feel, how much we try to ignore that sex means something more, emotions go hand-in-hand with sex. It’s the way our bodies are made.

If you have other questions or if you want to talk through your feelings or thoughts with someone, call us. Someone on our staff would love to support you as you figure out how you can be physically and emotionally healthy in your relationships or sexual activity.

What Is A Transvaginal Ultrasound?

Sat, 27 Apr 2019 12:00:00 GMT

Maybe your doctor thinks you have a cyst on your ovary and has ordered an ultrasound. Maybe your pregnancy test is positive and your doctor wants to do an ultrasound or you’ve been offered one at Collage to confirm that you’re really pregnant and establish a due date.

You’ve probably seen characters on television get ultrasounds, so you might be expecting a transabdominal ultrasound – for the doctor or sonographer (ultrasound technician) to put some gel on a curved probe and move it around on your stomach area. But if you’re in the early stages of pregnancy or if your doctor needs to get a really good look at your internal organs, a transabdominal ultrasound isn’t always sensitive enough. Your doctor will probably order a pelvic or transvaginal ultrasound.

So what’s that?

A transvaginal or pelvic ultrasound is an internal ultrasound.

What happens during this ultrasound?

The sonographer or doctor will ask you to undress from the waist down and put on a gown or cover your legs with a sheet. You’ll lie on an exam table with your knees bent. In this type of ultrasound, the transducer looks like a wand, a little bigger than a super tampon. The medical provider will cover the wand with a condom, then put some lubricating gel on the wand and insert it inside the vagina. The wand will produce sound waves that bounce off your internal organs to produce a picture, and the picture will display on a computer screen or TV monitor. The doctor or sonographer can see these images immediately, in real time.

Does it hurt?

Because the sonographer needs to move the wand around side to side, it may cause slight discomfort that usually feels like pressure. But that discomfort is temporary and will go away when the ultrasound ends. If your doctor is performing the ultrasound because of pelvic or abdominal pain, the internal ultrasound might cause more pain. Tell your doctor or the sonographer if the pain is severe during the ultrasound.

If I’m pregnant, what can the transvaginal ultrasound show?

The transvaginal ultrasound can confirm that you are pregnant, detect the baby’s heartbeat early in pregnancy, show the location and size of your uterus, and show whether you’re pregnant with more than one baby. A transvaginal ultrasound can also help detect an ectopic pregnancy more accurately, determine where any abnormal bleeding is coming from, or indicate any abnormalities in the placenta or with the cervix.

If I’m not pregnant, why would I need a transvaginal ultrasound?

A doctor may use a transvaginal or pelvic ultrasound to look for fibroids or cysts or polyps or endometriosis. If you have any abnormal bleeding, abnormal results from a pelvic exam, pelvic pain, or infertility, your doctor may order a transvaginal ultrasound to help figure out the cause.

Is it safe?

Vaginal ultrasounds are safe for both you and your baby, as long as your water hasn’t broken. If you’re allergic to latex or to any ingredients in lubricant gel, be sure to let your doctor know before the exam.

It’s normal to feel uncomfortable – this type of exam isn’t anyone’s favorite thing. But it will help if you’re prepared with what to expect. If you have any questions, ask your doctor or the sonographer. This is your body and your health, and you have the right to ask questions and have them answered.

If you have any other questions, please call us. Someone on our staff will be happy to talk with you, so you can be fully informed.

My Girlfriend Wants To Have Sex, But I Don’t Think I’m Ready For That

Sat, 13 Apr 2019 12:00:00 GMT

Dear Collage, My girlfriend wants to have sex, but I don’t think I’m ready for that. I know it’s supposed to be the other way around. Everyone thinks that guys always want sex and that we’re the ones pressuring girls into it. But I don’t want to have sex yet. And my girlfriend thinks something’s wrong with me. Probably everyone thinks something’s wrong with me. What guy doesn’t want sex if it’s being offered to him. Right? What can I do? Is something wrong with me? How can I tell my girlfriend ‘no’ without feeling less of a man?

First, there’s nothing wrong with you. People of any gender and any age can feel like they aren’t ready for sex. Even if you have the opportunity. Even if it’s a person you really, really are attracted to. Even if it’s a person you really, really want to have sex with.

Next, good for you for knowing yourself and your own boundaries. Good for you for knowing that you aren’t ready and respecting yourself enough to honor that.

Whether or not you want to have sex or feel ready to have sex is a personal decision. Nobody else can know when you’re ready. And nobody should pressure you into having sex. You’re in charge of your own body, and you get to decide when you’re ready.

So how can you tell your girlfriend without hurting her feelings or without feeling like less of a man?

Know why you aren’t ready. Spend some time thinking through your reasons. Be able to own and explain those reasons. And don’t worry about whether your reason will sound silly — you get to choose this for yourself.

Some possible reasons you might want to wait:

you aren’t ready to think about having a baby, so you want to avoid sex to prevent pregnancy
your religious beliefs don’t permit sex outside of marriage
you don’t want to risk being blamed for sexual assault
you aren’t even sure if it’s legal for the two of you to have sex
you’re worried about getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD)
you want more time to build trust or more of a connection
you want to be sure you’re in a committed relationship first
you really want to wait until you’re married
you want your first time to be very special, and you just aren’t there yet
you just don’t think you’re ready

Be honest. It’s important that you talk honestly with your girlfriend about sex. Talk about your reasons for waiting. Your girlfriend can’t read your mind. And she won’t understand your boundaries unless you clearly explain them to her. She’s also less likely to have hurt feelings or feel personally rejected if you explain your reasons to her.

Pay attention to her reaction. This hard conversation can either make your relationship stronger – by helping you understand each other and respect each other and form a stronger emotional bond. Or the conversation can end your relationship. You deserve to have your boundaries respected and your choice honored. If your girlfriend mocks you or tries to manipulate you into having sex, then that’s probably not a healthy relationship for you to be in.

Show love in other ways. If the hard conversation goes well and your girlfriend respects your choice and honors your boundaries, then you can show love in ways other than sex. You can find other ways to make her feel attractive and like you want to be with her. Compliment her, spend time with her, buy her small gifts, write her love notes, take her out on dates. Physical intimacy – or sex – isn’t the only way to show love.

You have your whole life to have sex. There’s no hurry. Take your time and enjoy your relationship. As we said, there are lots of ways to show love and feel close and enjoy each other without having sex. You can build emotional intimacy and have a good time together. Building a healthy relationship can make your girlfriend feel respected and desired and loved.

As for whether or not you feel like less of a man — it takes a real man to know himself and respect himself and insist on the kind of healthy relationship he knows he deserves. And it takes a real man to respect his girlfriend enough to wait until he’s really ready before he has sex with her.

Help After an Abortion

Sat, 30 Mar 2019 12:00:00 GMT

Relief. Regret. Sadness. Grief. Emptiness. Confusion. These are some of the emotions women say they’ve felt following their abortion. If you or someone you know has experienced this, know that there is no right or wrong way to feel. It’s common to feel a lot of different emotions at the same time.

For some women, there’s an immediate relief, but later feelings of sadness, second-guessing or wonder about what might have been rise to the surface. Women have reported these feelings even years later. There’s no time limit on emotions.

In addition to these emotions you’re feeling, you’re also going through some major physical changes. Your body is adjusting to no longer being pregnant, which means your hormones are changing again. This hormonal change may intensify your emotions.

If you chose to keep this a secret, you may experience added pressure because you don’t have anyone to talk to. Facing an unexpected pregnancy and choosing to end that pregnancy isn’t easy. It can be even harder if you feel isolated and alone.

If you or someone you know has experienced abortion, know that you don’t have to work through this mixture of emotions all by yourself. Here at Collage, we offer a safe, confidential, judgment-free place to talk and even work through the emotions you’re feeling — whether you just ended your pregnancy today or 30 years ago.

We want you to know that we’re here for you. We believe in your beauty and your value even though it may be difficult for you to see it through your jumbled emotions.

If you’d like to talk or to learn more about our after abortion support, please feel free to call us in Grand Island at 308-675-2217 or Kearney at 308-234-9880. You can just ask for Tammy. You can also send a confidential email to contact@collagecenter.com.

Why Collage?

Sat, 16 Mar 2019 14:33:00 GMT

At Collage, our promise is pretty simple. We’ll be a safe place. A place where those that are facing the reality of an STD, an unexpected pregnancy, or even a struggle with a past pregnancy decision, they can begin to discover beauty despite their circumstances.

“I just remember how warm and comforting and inviting Collage was.”

“It started as just a college student walking in a door for a pregnancy test to sometimes I just needed someone to talk to and they acted like that’s a service they provided too.”

The thing that really compels us to do what we do is that we believe deep down there’s beauty and value in every single one of us.

“I was so ignorant and so coming to Collage that first time for the ultrasound, they were just a huge resource.”

“Knowing first of all that there are people there to help you, I think that changes everything.”

“And I think that’s the beauty of Collage is seeing this community of donors and volunteers investing into a future community to set them up for the best possible future.”

Dating App Safety

Sat, 23 Feb 2019 18:34:00 GMT

There’s an app for just about everything.

We order our Sonic limeade with an app, then swing by to pick it up. We keep track of our coffee reward points with our Starbucks app. Want to deposit a check but don’t want to drive to the bank? Open the banking app, snap a photo of the check, push a button, and it’s magically deposited in the account. Need to borrow 5 dollars? No problem! I’ll pay for you, and you can Venmo me the money. See? We’ve even turned the names of the apps into verbs!

So it isn’t surprising that our dating lives revolve around apps too. Though online dating used to have a stigma or seem like a big deal, now it’s just a given part of living in a digital age. Tinder, OKCupid, Bumble, PlentyOfFish, Hinge, Match — and the list just continues to grow. Finding a date through an app is the normal way to date now.

But what should you know before you swipe right? Here are a few things to keep in mind regarding dating app safety.

Be cautious about connecting your dating app with your social media accounts. Some of the dating apps are tied to your social media and find matches for you based on mutual friends or mutual likes and interests and location check-ins. That could be convenient. But you probably don’t want strangers to have access to information about you. It’s a good idea to give away as little identifying information about yourself in your dating profile. This protects you from the people who use dating apps for creepy reasons. Don’t use your last name. Don’t give out any information that lets strangers know exactly who you are, where you live or work, or how to find you.

Don’t use the same photo you use for social media. It’s the same principle. To protect yourself, you need to protect your full identity from the broad audience of dating apps. It’s easy to do a reverse image search through Google. If you use the same photo for a dating app that you use in your Facebook or Twitter profile pic, anyone can find you in real life.

Be aware of location settings. A lot of dating apps will use your location, but people who look at your profile shouldn’t be able to see exactly where you are. Make sure your settings don’t let them.

Send messages only through the app. Again, this protects you. It’s risky to give out your real phone number. So send messages through the app rather than sending texts through your phone. And if you do decide to talk on the phone before you meet up in real life, get a Google phone number. It’s free, and it routes the call through the Google number rather than giving your actual phone number to this random person you don’t really know.

Get to know each other, but don’t give out too much information too early. As you send messages back and forth getting to know each other, be on guard. Don’t give out too much information. Unfortunately, some people join dating apps with sinister plans. You deserve to protect yourself from having your identity stolen, from being stalked, from being assaulted.

Guard your personal information as you’re getting to know someone. You aren’t being rude; you’re being wise.

You may not be talking to the person you think you are. That 22-year-old Brandon you’re talking to may actually be 40-year-old Sue or 50-year-old Dan. Have you seen the show Catfish? There’s a reason that show’s been on since 2012. There are people who pretend to be someone online that they aren’t in real life.

Be prepared for the worst. The jokes and stereotypes about dating apps exist for a reason. You might get a message with sexist comments, lewd suggestions, or unsolicited nude photos. Report anyone who violates the app’s policies, and practices using features that let you block the creeps.

When you meet up, meet in a public place. Only meet in a place with a lot of people around. You have no idea who you’re actually meeting. Again, you deserve protection from anyone with bad intentions. And you’re further protected if you meet in the daylight in a non-drinking environment for the first date.

Share your geolocation with a trusted friend. If a couple of friends can’t go along when you meet up with your dating app match, at least share your location with them. While you’re at it, make sure a friend has the name of the person you’re meeting up with.

Drive yourself. Or get a friend to drive you. But don’t rely on your date for a ride. Remember how your parents told you not to get into the car with strangers? It’s still a good policy. Again – you aren’t being rude. And if your date tries to pressure you to ride to a second location with him or to let him drive you home, it’s ok to kindly and firmly refuse. It isn’t rude to protect yourself. And it’s OK not to trust someone you just met.

Before you are ever alone with a date, know him. Know his full name. Know his address. Know what his job is or where he goes to school. Talk to his friends. Until you really know him and the people who know him, he’s a stranger. Even if you’ve spent hours messaging back and forth through an app, he’s a stranger. Treat him like a stranger until you really know him and his people.

Carry cash and your phone in your pocket. If your purse gets stolen, you’ll have some money and your phone with you.

Trust your instincts. If you feel unsafe – or even unsettled – trust your gut. Often our guts pick up on subtle things before our brains register information. If you don’t feel safe or if you feel uncomfortable, call a friend and leave. Have the friend meet you in another public place, so you can be sure your dating app match isn’t following you home.

Dating apps can be a fun way to meet someone new – if you are safe and protect yourself in the process. Remember – it’s never rude to protect yourself. And being safe is so much more important than being nice. So guard your personal information, refuse that ride home, don’t be alone with him, trust your gut, and share your location with a friend – there’s an app for that!

5 Love Languages

Sat, 09 Feb 2019 18:51:00 GMT

What makes you feel loved?

When someone spends focused time with you? When someone gives you a gift? When someone encourages you or gives you compliments? When someone hugs you or holds your hand? When someone does your laundry or cooks a meal for you?

Over 20 years ago, Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a New York Times bestselling book called The Five Love Languages . All these years later, Dr. Chapman’s concept of five love languages has expanded to include not only marriage relationships, but parents’ relationships with their children and teenagers and even an edition for single people that concentrates on relationships with parents, friends, and co-workers.

So what are the five love languages?

Dr. Chapman explains it this way, “My conclusion after thirty years of marriage counseling is that there are basically five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.” So the way you speak and understand emotional love is your primary love language.

If you understand how your partner (or your child or your parent or your best friend) speaks and understands and receives love, then you can make sure you’re showing love in the way that person primarily feels loved. And if you know how you most feel loved, you can tell your partner (or child or parent or best friend), so that person can show love to you in the way you primarily feel loved. Obviously, you can’t read another person’s mind, but understanding the way he expresses and feels loved is a peek inside his mind. And it’s one of the simplest ways to improve a relationship.

In a nutshell, the five love languages are —

Words of Affirmation – Using words to affirm someone — compliments and words of affection, words of praise or appreciation. This might be a verbal compliment or a love note, a text message saying what you love about someone or a simple “You’re awesome” written on a dry erase board.

Acts of Service – Actions speak louder than words — showing love rather than simply telling it. What does this look like? Maybe taking your person’s car through the car wash or carrying their trash to the curb. It might be doing a chore he especially hates or running an errand to save her time.

Receiving Gifts – Gifts are a symbol of love. These might be major gifts, like an expensive thing your loved one has been wanting. Or it could be picking up his favorite soda or her favorite lotion the next time you’re at the store.

Quality Time – Giving someone your undivided attention, spending time together. The key to this is undivided attention and quality time. Put away your phones and look at each other. Turn off the television and look at each other. Plan time away together – a weekend hiking trip or a day at the beach, a week of vacation in the summer or a block of time together around the holidays. Play a game together, go on a walk, spend just ten minutes talking about your day and reconnecting.

Physical Touch – Feeling affection through physical touch. When we think of showing or experiencing love through physical touch, our minds usually jump straight to sex. But this love language isn’t necessarily about sex. And experiencing love through physical touch isn’t tied to a person’s sex drive. This also doesn’t equate to a lot of PDA (public displays of affection).

If physical touch is your love language, you can experience or feel love through hand-holding, hugging, sitting close to your loved one or through a gentle touch on the arm or a simple shoulder squeeze. If your boyfriend or girlfriend’s love language is physical touch, that doesn’t mean you have to have to sex. You can still help your partner feel loved in his or her love language in other ways. You can respect your own physical boundaries and show love to your boyfriend or girlfriend.

As you read that list, you might think, “Oh yeah, that really makes me feel loved!” Or maybe a couple of the languages seem to really speak love to you. Dr. Chapman’s website offers a free quiz to help you figure out your love language.

Knowing what makes you feel loved and what doesn’t particularly make you feel loved can help as you navigate a relationship. And knowing how the people in your life understand and express love can help improve your relationships.

Maybe your Valentine’s gift to yourself or your loved one is taking the quiz, discovering your love languages, and sharing the quiz results. You deserve to feel loved!

What Is Normal Vaginal Discharge?

Sat, 26 Jan 2019 16:02:00 GMT

Do you know the difference between normal vaginal discharge and abnormal discharge? Sometimes your doctor or nurse might ask if you have abnormal vaginal discharge. Maybe you have some discharge, but you have no idea if it’s normal or abnormal.

So what’s normal?

Well, some discharge from your vagina is normal – it’s even healthy. The acid in healthy vaginal fluid helps prevent infections and helps slough out dead cells. It’s your body’s way of keeping the inside of your vagina clean. Normal, healthy vaginal discharge is usually clear, white, or pale yellow. It doesn’t have a foul smell, and it isn’t accompanied by itching or burning.

Abnormal discharge can indicate an infection, like a yeast infection, a urinary tract infection, or a sexually transmitted infection or disease (STD). That’s why your doctor or nurse might ask you to describe any vaginal discharge you have.

So what’s abnormal?

Any discharge that is different from what you typically see during the month can be abnormal for you. Keep in mind – throughout the month, your vaginal discharge changes as hormone levels change and you go through the normal menstrual cycle. At some points each month, your discharge will become thicker and stickier or thinner and stringier. Those changes are normal.

Abnormal means your discharge changes to a color or consistency that is outside that normal monthly cycle. Maybe the consistency becomes more like cottage cheese or the color becomes green or gray. Or maybe you suddenly have a heavier amount of discharge. And of course, it would be considered abnormal any time outside of your normal monthly period when you have blood mixed in with your discharge.

It’s also considered abnormal if you have a foul odor or burning and itching or a rash.

So if you have abnormal vaginal discharge, what does it mean?

It might mean you have an infection of some kind – yeast, bacterial, or viral, sexually transmitted or otherwise. Your healthcare provider will want you to describe your symptoms and they may examine you or take urine or blood samples for testing. Once your healthcare provider determines whether you have an infection and what kind of infection, you can receive the appropriate treatment to help you get well.

If you think you have abnormal vaginal discharge or if you still don’t know whether it’s normal or not, we encourage you to speak to your healthcare provider. They’ll help you figure out what normal is for you and take care of anything abnormal.

We’re here to help you be healthy, and we hope this post answers some questions for you. If you have other sexual health questions we can answer for you, leave a comment, send a message, or call us.

My Boyfriend Wants To Have Sex And I Don’t Think I’m Ready

Sat, 05 Jan 2019 23:32:00 GMT

Dear Collage,

My boyfriend and I have been dating a while, and he wants to have sex. I’m not sure I want to, but he keeps mentioning it. He says I’m not able to give him what he wants, but I’m so scared. I feel like I sound stupid or selfish. And I’m worried because he’s so annoyed with me. Help.

If this letter describes you and your situation, we want you to know first and foremost that you aren’t stupid or selfish. You’re confused and scared, and those are normal things to feel when considering having sex for the first time (or for the first time with a new person). And it isn’t selfish to set and maintain boundaries for yourself.

Next, the decision to have sex is a big decision! And it’s a decision you get to make for yourself. Only you can know when you’re ready.

How will you know when you’re ready for sex?

Well, there are a lot of things to consider to determine whether you’re ready for sex or not.

Do you feel pressured?

If the main motivation is pressure from a boyfriend, then it’s not the right time for you to have sex. You deserve to have your boundaries respected. If you’ve said you aren’t ready and your partner is pressuring you, then your partner isn’t respecting your boundaries.

What’s your inner voice say?

If you have any doubt at all about whether you’re ready, you aren’t ready. And that’s OK. Listen to your inner voice. You have the rest of your life to have sex. There’s no reason to rush into it. Give yourself time. Know your own values. Know your own needs. Know your own boundaries. Anyone who truly loves you will respect that.

Have you talked about STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) and pregnancy?

If you can’t communicate about sex openly and honestly, then you’re definitely not ready to actually have sex. Before you have sex, you owe it to yourself to talk about preventing pregnancy and STDs. And remember hormonal birth control may be effective at preventing pregnancy, but it won’t prevent the spread of STDs. The only sure way to prevent STDs is to only have sex in a mutually monogamous relationship with someone who doesn’t have an STD (which means you both only ever have any kind of sex with each other).

Where are you in your relationship?

And we don’t only mean how long have you been dating. How much do you know about each other? How emotionally intimate are you? Do you feel completely comfortable with each other. Sometimes physical intimacy is easier than emotional intimacy. And sometimes becoming physically intimate before you’re emotionally intimate can cause bigger problems.

It’s really complicated if your boyfriend wants to have sex and you don’t. It can feel like you’re the one messing things up. But you deserve to wait until you’re completely ready. And if you’re not sure you’re ready, that means you’re not ready.

Talk to your boyfriend about this when you’re not in the heat of the moment. Explain your boundaries and tell him you need for him to respect those. If he continues to pressure you or attempts to manipulate you (If you really love me, you’ll have sex with me. I need this; and if you love me, you’ll give me what I need.), then he isn’t respecting you. That means you may have bigger issues in your relationship — and not having sex with this guy has saved you even more heartache. Because if your boyfriend truly loves you, he will not pressure you to violate your own standards or your own inner voice. He will respect you and wait until you’re both ready.

If you need to talk some more, we’re here for you. We want to support you in your right to decide when you’re ready. Call us and schedule a time to come in and talk to one of our staff members.

Silent Symptoms – How Do You Know If You Have These STDs?

Sat, 22 Dec 2018 12:00:00 GMT

Most of us don’t want to think about Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) any time of the year – and especially not now. But during this season, as we’re thinking about health and happiness, it’s a good time to think about your health.

Did you know that many STDs have silent symptoms – that is, no noticeable symptoms at all? And the CDC estimates 20 million new STD infections each year. If many of those infections aren’t showing any symptoms, then the only way to know you have an STD is to be tested.

What STDs have silent (no) symptoms?

According to the CDC , these STDs often have no symptoms:

Chlamydia – Most people have no noticeable symptoms for this STD.
Genital herpes – Most people have no symptoms but even without signs of the disease, herpes can still be spread to other sex partners.
Gonorrhea – Some men have no symptoms, and most women have no symptoms at all.
Human Papillomavirus (HPV) – Most men and women have no symptoms of this very common infection.

Are you at risk for any of these STDs?

If you are sexually active, you are at risk for an STD. That means – if you have any kind of sexual activity: oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex, or even if you have skin to skin contact in the genital area, you are at risk for getting an STD.

How can you know for sure if you have an STD?

The only way to know for sure is to be tested.

Why is it important to get tested?

Many STDs are curable with antibiotics. Some others aren’t curable, but they’re definitely treatable – which means you can control the symptoms even though you can’t cure the infection. But if you don’t get treatment, some STDs can become life-threatening. Others can be dangerous to a baby if you get pregnant. So it’s important that you get treatment, but you can’t get treatment if you don’t get tested.

How can you prevent STDs?

Though using a condom reduces the chance of spreading STDs, the only sure way to prevent an STD is to not have sex or to have sex in a mutually monogamous relationship with someone who doesn’t have an STD (that means you both only ever have any kind of sex with each other).

Even though it isn’t any fun to think about STDs, it’s important to be informed. We care about you and we want you to have all the information you need to take good care of yourself. Maybe during this season, you can give yourself the gift of good health and peace of mind. At Collage, we can test for and treat some STDs at no cost to you. And for others, we can refer you to medical professionals who can help you. Call us today and let’s schedule a time for you to come in so we can answer your questions about STDs and your risks.

10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Mon, 03 Dec 2018 00:46:00 GMT

Most of us want to be in a happy, healthy relationship. Maybe you’ve had a great example of a healthy relationship – your parents or your grandparents. Maybe you’re even in a healthy relationship now. But maybe you aren’t sure what a healthy relationship looks like. Maybe you’re wondering if it’s too good to be true. Or maybe that fresh, new relationship sheen has begun to dull a little and you aren’t sure if this one is worth the work of polishing.

We’ve put together 10 signs that your relationship is a healthy one.

1. You really like each other. It may seem obvious, but the most basic starting point in a healthy relationship is that you both feel comfortable truly being yourselves and you really like each other. You know each other and accept each other as you are.

2. You trust each other. When you trust your partner and believe the best about each other, then you can relax and grow closer. Without trust, you’ll have walls of self-preservation up and you won’t feel safe with each other. Which brings us to the next point . . .

3. Your relationship is a safe place. Not only do you feel physically safe in a healthy relationship, you feel emotionally safe too. You feel safe talking about your opinions, your worries, your fears, your hopes. And you respond in ways that make your partner feel safe doing the same.

4. You each have your own identity. In a healthy relationship, you’ll spend quality time together, and you’ll spend quality time apart. You’ll each have your own interests and hobbies and friends. Of course, you’ll change and grow and you’ll influence each other — maybe you’ll introduce him to the 80’s music your parents forced you to love and he’ll teach you the rules of whatever sport he played in high school, or vice versa. But neither one of you will lose the core of what makes you “you.”

5. You respect each other. You and your partner value each other’s beliefs, opinions, and priorities. You listen to each other and don’t overstep boundaries or disregard each other’s feelings.

6. You’re a team. You make decisions jointly. You work together to accomplish tasks and goals. You’re each other’s biggest cheerleader. What affects one of you affects both of you, so that neither of you feels you have to face problems or challenges alone.

7. You fight fairly. First, this assumes you disagree. Healthy relationships will include disagreements. The key is to fight fairly — you won’t call each other names or belittle the other; you won’t bring up every mistake or offense from the past; you won’t bring friends or family into the argument; you won’t become physically abusive. When you’re wrong, you apologize; and when your partner is wrong, you forgive.

8. You treat each other with kindness. Sometimes we think of treating strangers or acquaintances with the Golden Rule, but we forget to do that with our partners. In a healthy relationship, you treat your partner the way you want to be treated.

9. You communicate about sex. You talk about sexual boundaries and then respect those boundaries. You discuss your beliefs and values about sex, and you talk about your expectations. You also talk honestly about your sexual history and any exposure to sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

10. You’re both committed. In a healthy relationship, you aren’t keeping your options open. You’re committed to the one you’re in and you’re giving your best to the person you’re with. We’re not saying every healthy relationship ends in marriage – maybe once you really get to know each other, you realize you aren’t exactly compatible. But as long as you’re in the relationship, you’re committed to giving it your all.

After reading this list, you might breathe a big sigh of relief – your relationship is a healthy one. That’s great. You’re in a relationship that’s good for you and for your partner.

But maybe you’ve read the list and you’re feeling a little discouraged. You can’t honestly say you have all 10 qualities. If that’s you, then maybe you can read this list with your partner and talk about the areas that don’t match up. Can you work together to fix the issue? Or maybe the problem is a big one — there’s physical abuse or serious disrespect or unfaithfulness. Now might be the time to get some help and support from a trusted friend or family member or counselor. You deserve to be safe and respected. If you don’t feel safe, please get help.

If you’re not sure that your relationship is healthy and good for you, we’re here to help you however we can. A member of our staff will confidentially listen to you and walk through all of your options and resources.

Call us to set up a time for you to come in.

10 Signs He’s Mr. Right

Sat, 10 Nov 2018 15:28:00 GMT

You’ve probably heard that you sometimes meet Mr. Right and you sometimes meet Mr. Right Now. So how do you know the difference between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now?

We don’t know you or your exact situation, but there are some general indicators that the guy you’re with is a potential long-term partner. So here’s a list of signs that he might be Mr. Right:

1. He takes a genuine interest in you and your life. He asks about your day and then listens when you talk about it. He wants to know about your hopes and dreams and goals. And then he supports you as you work toward them.

2. He remembers details about you. Last month, you told him you loved Gerbera daisies, so today he showed up at your doorstep with a bouquet of Gerbera daisies. Mr. Right won’t be perfect, but he will remember your birthday and your favorite color and what foods you say you like and dislike. Because you’re important to him, he’ll remember the things that are important to you.

3. He’s honest with you. He won’t keep secrets from you. And he won’t lie to you.

4. He tells you how he feels about you. Mr. Right won’t be playing games. And he won’t be too cool to tell you how much he loves you. He’ll tell you how he feels so you don’t have to wonder.

5. He has similar goals and values. You have the same goals about where to live and what kind of lifestyle you hope to have. You have the same plans for whether or not to have kids or how many kids you want to have. If he’s Mr. Right, you’ll have the same beliefs about God and the same core values.

6. He gets along well with your family and friends. And you get along well with his. If he’s Mr. Right, you’ll be in this for the long haul, and it’s important that your family and friends love him and vice versa.

7. He makes plans for the future with you in mind. When he talks about the holidays next month or summer vacation next year or a 10-year plan, you’re part of it all. If he’s not planning for a future with you in mind, then maybe he’s not Mr. Right.

8. He’s not interested in any other women. If he’s Mr. Right, he’ll be committed to you completely. He won’t be keeping any options open. Mr. Right will change his Facebook status to “in a relationship” and post pictures with you on social media. He’ll deactivate his Tinder. He’ll be obviously unavailable to other women.

9. He’s respectful to other people. How does he treat his mother? How about his sister? The way he treats the women in his life is a pretty good indicator of the way he’ll treat you.

10. He inspires you to be the best you. Mr. Right will bring out the best in you. He challenges you and believes in you. He makes you want to be the wonderful person he believes you are.

You’ll never find the perfect man. Nobody’s perfect. But you don’t have to settle for Mr. Right Now. You’re definitely worth holding out for Mr. Right.

Am I Ready For A Baby?

Sat, 03 Nov 2018 12:00:00 GMT

It’s one of the biggest decisions of your life — are you ready for a baby?

Maybe you’re considering becoming pregnant, and you’re wondering if now is the right time.

Some people say there’s never a perfect time to have a baby. They say if you wait until you’re completely ready, you’ll never have a baby. That may be true, but there are usually times when people feel more ready than not.

Though many people may have opinions about when you’re ready or when you’re not, nobody can make this decision for you. You know yourself better than anyone, and you’re the only one who can know if you’re ready or not.

If you are trying to decide if now is the time to get pregnant and start a family, we’ve put together this list of questions that might help you as you figure it out.

When you think about having a baby, do you feel mostly happy? Notice your emotions when you think about having a baby. If you feel mostly happy, that’s a sign you might be ready. If you feel a lot of anxiety or panic or if you feel really upset at the thought, then maybe you’re not there yet.

Are you taking care of yourself – physically and emotionally? Do you try to eat healthy and exercise? Do you go to the doctor for regular check-ups? Are you in a good place emotionally and mentally? It’s difficult to take care of a baby if you aren’t taking care of yourself. A good first step to being ready for a baby is to take good care of you.

Are you in a loving, stable relationship? Some people think having a baby will fix a troubled relationship. That just isn’t true. Having a baby can be really stressful — a baby brings new worries and loss of sleep and financial concerns. All of those things can stress even a really healthy relationship, and they can wreck a relationship that’s already in trouble. You deserve to have a healthy relationship, and your future children deserve to come into a stable home. If your relationship is strained, maybe you could see a counselor to strengthen your relationship before you bring a baby into the mix.

Do you have a support system in place? You know that old saying, It takes a village to raise a baby? It’s completely true. Sometimes, you’ll need help, so it’s important to have a support system in your life — whether it’s your family or some close friends or people from church or you neighborhood.

Are you willing to make sacrifices? Once you have a baby, your life isn’t only about you. Having a child means changing your priorities about how to spend your time and your money. Even your own body will be sacrificed to grow a baby inside and to take care of that baby after he or she is born. Are you ready to make those sacrifices?

How will having a baby affect your career? Do you have maternity leave? Do you have role models or a mentor for balancing a career and a baby? Will your working conditions affect your ability to safely carry a baby to term? Of course, you don’t have to make a huge decision about your career for the next 18 years, but it’s important to figure out how your job might affect having a baby and how having a baby might affect your job. Then at least, you’ll make informed decisions.

Does your health insurance cover pregnancy and childbirth? If so, what percentage of the cost will you have to pay? If not, how will you pay for having a baby? Check with your medical provider and with your local hospital to see how much it costs. Obviously, you don’t have to be really rich to have babies or else very few people would have children. But it’s important to have all the financial information so you can make a plan and start saving for the expenses.

Are you ready for the responsibility? Having a baby is a huge responsibility. Your choices, your actions, your words will all affect your child. Your baby will come into this world completely helpless and will depend on you for everything. We’re not saying that isn’t a bit terrifying even for someone who is totally ready for a child – it’s scary and overwhelming even for people who are expecting a second or third child. But is that a responsibility you feel like you’re up for? Even though it seems hard and scary, are you ready for it?

If you’re trying to make this huge decision, please know that you don’t have to do this all on your own. If you don’t have anyone else to talk with, someone on our staff is happy to sit down with you and listen and help you think through this big decision.

If you’re already pregnant and you just aren’t sure if you’re ready to raise a baby, that’s a whole other set of considerations and concerns. And you don’t have to face that decision alone either. Please call us. We’ll set up a time to meet, then we’ll listen to you and we’ll talk through all the options with you. Even though this can feel like a terrifying time, we can help you not feel so overwhelmed.

My Boyfriend Cheated On Me

Sat, 06 Oct 2018 14:06:00 GMT

It can be devastating to find out your boyfriend cheated on you. If this has happened to you, you’re probably having all the feelings — shock, disbelief, anger, sadness, grief, fear. All of that is perfectly normal.

You might feel completely lost, wondering what to do now. Do you stay? Do you leave him? Is he really sorry? Can you even trust your own judgment now?

Or maybe you’re just really, really angry. Or really, really sad. And you don’t know where to go from here.

We don’t have all the answers, and we won’t pretend we do. But we do care about you, and we want you to know you don’t have to handle this hard thing alone. So we’ve made a list of some do’s and don’ts that you might find helpful.

Do grieve.
Cry, scream, eat some ice cream, punch a punching bag – do whatever it is you do when you’re really sad. Someone violated your trust, and that’s definitely something worth grieving. Allow yourself time to feel all the yucky emotions you’re feeling.

Don’t plot revenge.
When you first find out and you’re feeling the hot rage of it all, you might be tempted to do something to get back at him. You might want to spread horrible rumors about him. You might even be tempted to try to hurt him by doing something that really hurts you, like hooking up with his friend. Or maybe you want to vandalize his truck, like in that Carrie Underwood song. Trust us, you really want to resist all of these vengeful urges. In the end, you’ll only hurt yourself more. Even though revenge might feel sweet in the now, you’re better than that.

Do try to figure out why.
If he wants to talk with you, give him a chance to explain why he cheated. We’re not saying his behavior can be excused. It can’t. But understanding why may give you some peace of mind and might help you in the future.

But don’t blame yourself.
He might try to excuse his choices by casting some blame on you. Or maybe you’re tempted to blame yourself, believing you somehow drove him to cheat. Please believe us — you are not at fault. Though problems in relationships are nearly always caused by both people, the cheater is always the only one responsible for the infidelity, the cheating.

Do evaluate your options & take time to make a decision.
Maybe you know immediately that cheating is an absolute deal-breaker. If so, that’s fine. Make that choice and move forward. But maybe he’s really apologetic and you aren’t sure what to do. It’s OK to feel confused and overwhelmed right now. The decision whether or not to stay with someone who cheats on you is your decision. Nobody else can tell you what to do. Take some time to think or to talk to a trusted friend or family member or to a counselor. There is no rush.

Do get tested for STDs.
If your boyfriend was sexually active with someone else, that increases your risk for a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Whether you choose to stay with him or not, it’s a good idea to get screened for any diseases.

Do forgive.
This doesn’t mean we’re saying stay in the relationship. Forgiveness doesn’t have to mean you give your boyfriend another chance. And it absolutely doesn’t mean you’re saying what he did is OK or glossing over it all. No, forgiving him isn’t about him at all. Forgiveness is about you. When you forgive him, you’re saying what he did was really wrong, but that you’re choosing to release feelings of bitterness and resentment. It doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean reconciling the relationship. It just means you’re freeing yourself from the kind of anger that eats away at you.

Don’t jump into another relationship too soon.
Allow yourself time to grieve and time to heal. Enjoy your friendships and your own hobbies. Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Though it might be tempting to jump right into another relationship to somehow prove to yourself that you weren’t the problem, that might not be what’s best for you emotionally. Give yourself time to heal from this experience so that you can enter the next relationship whole and healthy.

But do open yourself to trusting again.
When you’re ready, after you’ve given yourself time to heal, be open to the idea of another relationship – or, if you’ve chosen, to rebuilding the relationship with your boyfriend. The things you’ve learned from this experience can make you stronger and wiser, but they don’t have to make you completely skeptical about love. Not every guy will cheat on you. And just because you’ve had this bad experience doesn’t mean you’re doomed to bad relationships.

It might not feel like it now, but you’re going to get through this. And you will be stronger on the other side. You deserve to have a healthy relationship – where you’re valued and treated with respect.

If you’re boyfriend cheated on you and you need someone to talk to, our staff is here for you. And don’t forget, we can sure help you out with Gonorrhea and Chlamydia testing and treatment if needed. Just give us a call.

I’m Pregnant. What Are My Options?

Sat, 22 Sep 2018 16:26:00 GMT

The test is positive. You saw the plus sign at the end of the stick and you verified it with your doctor. You weren’t planning for this, but you’re pregnant.

Scared. Angry. Worried. Overwhelmed. It’s completely normal to be feeling all these emotions right now. Facing an unexpected pregnancy is a big deal. It can be extremely stressful and terrifying. Though ultimately, you’re the one who will make the decisions about this pregnancy, you aren’t alone. And, even if your partner isn’t involved, you don’t have to handle this all by yourself.

Your first thought might be, What am I going to do? You might be feeling so overcome by emotions or fear that you don’t even know what your options are.

Even though this might feel like an urgent problem, the good news is that you don’t have to make any decision immediately. Often times when we react immediately to our circumstances and make choices based off emotions we don’t always end up making the best decision for ourselves. Give yourself the gift of time to breathe and sort out all the different emotions you’re feeling. Then, when you’re ready, you can think about your options and your next right step.

When facing a pregnancy, you really have three legal options:

Parenting - You can choose to have and raise your baby – either alone or with the help of your partner or your family.
Adoption - You can choose to place your baby for adoption. If you decide on adoption, you can choose how much you want to be involved in the process and whether you want to remain in contact with your child and the adoptive family.
Abortion - You can choose to have an abortion. The laws for abortion vary from state to state, and some states require parental consent for anyone under the age of 18.

Maybe you already know which option you’d choose. Or maybe you need help sorting through the decision process. Perhaps asking yourself these questions will help you come to the decision that is best for you.

How do I feel about being pregnant? Are you excited and happy with the idea of a baby, but sad about the timing? Are you completely devastated and feeling like your life is over? Are you worried about how other people will respond? Are you scared about whether or not you’re ready to be a parent? Taking time to examine and write down your feelings will help you know what you really want to do.

What do I want to be doing in my life in the next year, three years, and five years? Make a list of the goals you have for yourself. How does a baby fit in with those goals? Maybe parenting a baby will change your timeline or the process a bit, but you can see yourself making it work. Maybe you know that parenting just isn’t at all what you want to be doing for the next few years.

What do I have to gain from having and raising a baby now? What do I have to lose? Make lists and weigh them against each other.

Can I financially afford to raise a baby? What resources do you have available? Do you have insurance? A job? A partner or family to help out? Are there resources in your community to assist you? Do you qualify for government assistance?

What does my partner, the other parent of this baby, think? What does my family think? Though the decision is ultimately yours to make, it can be helpful to consider the opinions of other people affected by this.

Am I being pressured toward one choice? If someone is pressuring you toward a decision, consider whether you’ll live with regret for the choice you’re being pressured toward.

Do I have strong values or beliefs about abortion, adoption, or parenting? If you have strong beliefs either for or against something, that is definitely something you want to consider when making a choice. If you make a choice against your own values, you’ll probably have a difficult time making peace with that decision.

What do I know about abortion and potential risks? It may seem like a clear-cut decision but there are a lot of things to consider. Would it be medical or surgical? Is it safe? Is it painful? Could it affect me later? Can anyone force me to have one?

Do I have a network of people to support me in my decision? Are there people who will offer emotional support if you choose an abortion? Will the people in your life support a choice of arranging an adoption? Do you have a system of support to help if you choose to have and raise your baby?

It can also be helpful to write these sentences down and fill in the blanks:

The idea of becoming a parent right now makes me feel ________________.
The idea of placing my child for adoption makes me feel ________________.
The idea of having an abortion makes me feel _____________.

As you consider your options, you may find it helpful to talk with your partner, a trusted family member, or a friend. And if you don’t know who to talk to, you can definitely call us. Our staff is here for you. Many of us know what it’s like to face difficult decisions like this. There’s no judgment here. We’ll listen and offer information and resources so that you can make an informed decision about what’s best for you.

What STDs Can I Get Through Skin-to-Skin Contact?

Sat, 15 Sep 2018 13:24:00 GMT

If STDs are sexually transmitted diseases, it makes sense to think you can’t get them if you aren’t having actual sex.

Maybe you’ve recently been diagnosed with an STD and you’re wondering how in the world you got it if you haven’t even had sex or if you’ve only had protected sex or if you’ve been in what you thought was a monogamous relationship. Maybe you’re in shock and now you’re wondering how to make sure you don’t pass this infection on to someone else.

Or maybe you’ve been tested and you don’t have an STD and you want to make sure you do everything you can to keep it that way.

You deserve to have all the information you need to protect your health — physically, emotionally, and relationally.

Unfortunately, it’s possible to get an STD even if you don’t have sexual intercourse and even if you don’t exchange body fluids with another person because some STDs can be spread simply by skin-to-skin contact.

According to the Centers for Disease Control , the STDs that pose the biggest risk of skin-to-skin transmission are:

Genital herpes. Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV) -2 or genital herpes can be spread through any sexual contact with an infected person. So this can be spread by skin-to-skin or mouth-to-skin contact.

Syphilis . Syphilis sores can be inside the mouth or in the genital area, and any uncovered sores can be contagious. Often, syphilis sores aren’t recognized as an STD and aren’t treated.

Human papillomavirus (HPV). Forms of this virus can cause cancer or genital warts. It’s not always obvious that someone has HPV, and HPV is very easily spread through contact with the skin. HPV is the most common STD. According to the CDC , HPV is so common that almost everyone who’s sexually active will get HPV at some point.

Pubic lice. Pubic lice are usually living on the pubic hair, but they can live on coarse hair anywhere on the body. Just as head lice are easily spread through contact, so are pubic lice.
Scabies. Scabies is caused by a mite that lives on the top layer of skin. The mites move from person to person during prolonged skin-to-skin contact.

Because these STDs can spread from any sexual contact, including heavy petting, outercourse (a.k.a. dry humping) – any skin-to-skin contact – the only way to prevent them is to avoid any sexual contact or to only have sexual contact if you are in a mutually monogamous relationship (you both know you don’t have an STD and you and your partner only have sexual contact with each other.)

If you’ve already been diagnosed with one of these STDs, there is some hopeful news —-some of these STDs can often be treated with the correct medications. Genital warts or pre-cancer caused by HPV can be treated by your medical provider. And you can ask your doctor how you can prevent spreading the STD to a partner.

The reality is though, there are some consequences associated with STDs. Symptoms and parasites can be treated but viruses most often stay in our systems.

We know it can be scary and overwhelming to think that you can get an STD even if you choose not to have sexual intercourse. And it can be really discouraging to not have any form of sex and still get diagnosed with an STD. If you need someone to talk to, our medical staff will listen. We can give you more information about STDs, test and treat you for Gonorrhea and Chlamydia , and also refer you to other medical providers who can test for additional STDs.

Even if this is a bit frightening and frustrating, you don’t have to navigate this alone. We really do care about you, and we’re here to help you however we can.

STD Symptoms in Men

Sat, 25 Aug 2018 15:15:00 GMT

If you’re sexually active, you might be concerned about getting a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD). Maybe you’re a guy and you’re wondering if you already have one and just don’t know it. Or maybe you’re thinking about having sex and you want to be on the lookout for STD symptoms so you know whether your partner is safe to have sex with. So what are a guy’s symptoms of an STD anyway?

Well, first it’s important to know that, according to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), there are about 20 million new cases of STDs every year in the United States. And about half of those infections are in people between the ages of 15 and 24. So it’s really wise to have STDs on your radar.

What are STD symptoms in men?

Some symptoms can be –

A discharge from the penis
A burning sensation when peeing
Pain and swelling in the testicles
Rectal pain
Rectal discharge or bleeding
A sore or blister on or near the penis, rectum, or mouth
Painful bowel movements
Anal itching
Bumps (or warts) in the genital area, around the penis or anus (The bumps can be small or large, raised or flat, or shaped like a cauliflower.)
Skin rash, swollen lymph nodes, and fever

But often, there are no symptoms of an STD at all. Many people who have an STD have no idea they have it. Of course, this means people can pass an STD on to a partner without realizing it.

So if you don’t have symptoms, how do you know whether you have an STD? The only way to know for sure is to be tested.

If you don’t already have an STD, how can you protect yourself from getting one? The only way to 100% protect yourself is to not have any kind of sex. That means not having any vaginal, anal, or oral sex at all. They can also be passed through genital-to-genital contact. Even infected body fluid that comes into contact with mucous membranes on you or your partner’s body can transmit an STD, (i.e. infected fluid on your hand to eyes or mouth).

If you do want to have sex, the surest way to protect yourself from an STD is for both you and your partner to be tested and found to be STD-free, then for you to be in a mutually monogamous relationship — that means both you and your partner only have sexual contact with each other.

If you want to talk about whether you’re at risk for an STD or if you want more information about STD testing, please call us. We’ll schedule a time to meet with you and confidentially answer your questions and provide information about STD testing.

Am I Ready To Get Married?

Sat, 04 Aug 2018 15:17:00 GMT

We’ve heard the sing-song rhyme nearly all our lives. First comes love. Then comes marriage. And when we were five and skipping rope to the rhyme or dressing Barbie up in a white dress to walk down the aisle to marry Ken, it all seemed so simple. You meet someone, fall in love, and get married. Easy peasy. Of course, real life isn’t ever that simple!

The decision to get married is a huge one! Maybe you’ve been dating your partner for a while and you’re wondering if it’s time to take the leap and get married. Maybe you’re wondering the age-old questions, “How do you know when you’ve found The One?” or “How do you know when you’re ready for marriage?”

We don’t pretend to have all the answers. Ultimately, you’re the only one who knows when you’re ready. But there are a few signs you can look for that might help you know if you’re ready to walk down the aisle.

You aren’t looking for your other half. A healthy marriage is made of two complete people who love themselves. If you’re looking for someone else to complete you, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and your partner up for frustration. Because that’s too much pressure to put on another person. Nobody else can complete you. And you can’t complete someone else. Your marriage is more likely to get off on the right foot if you love yourself and feel like a whole person with your own network of friends and family to support you.

You know what you’re looking for in a partner – and you’ve found it! What traits do you think are important in a partner? What values do you think your spouse should share with you? Before you get married, consider these questions and see if your boyfriend or girlfriend has the traits and values that are important to you.

You really know each other. You’re vulnerable with each other about your insecurities and mistakes, and you still love each other. When you know the hard stuff about each other and you both stick around, that’s a good sign that you’re committed to each other – you know, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health.

When you think about the future, your partner is part of it. When you daydream about 10 years from now or 20 years from now, is your boyfriend or girlfriend part of those daydreams? Have you talked about whether you both want children? Or where you want to live? Or the kind of life you want to live? If you’re on the same page about all the major decisions and you can easily see yourself together for the long haul, then maybe you’ve found the one.

You trust each other and feel secure together. You don’t have doubts about how your partner feels about you. Neither of you threatens to leave when conflict comes up. When you spend time apart, neither of you worries about whether the other is being faithful. A strong marriage is built on trust and security, so having that is a good start to knowing you’re ready for marriage.

You’re ready to make the effort to keep the spark alive. You’ve probably heard older people talk about how much work marriage is. All the spark or chemistry or lovey-dovey feelings you have when a relationship is just starting out won’t consistently be there on a day-to-day basis. Feelings fluctuate. Moods shift. Daily life happens. And sometimes a relationship requires hard work. Are you ready to do the work? Because a healthy marriage requires intentional work on your relationship.

You’re motivated by love and commitment. Not by an agenda or a timeline. You don’t see all your friends getting married and think, “Well, it’s time for me to get married too.” You aren’t graduating from college or turning 25 or turning 30 and thinking that marriage is The Next Step. You’re not feeling pressured to get married because you’re pregnant or because you’ve had sex or because he’s the first guy who’s told you he loves you. It’s a good idea to think about why you want to get married. If your strongest reasons are anything except a genuine love and commitment to your partner, then maybe take a step back and give the relationship more time to grow before you consider marriage.

Who to marry and when to get married — those are some big decisions. Good for you for giving careful thought to whether or not you’re ready! As we said, we don’t pretend to have all the answers, but we’re here to help you ask the hard questions so you can figure out the answers that are best for you. If you want to talk to one of our staff members, please call today.

9 Ways Your Body is Trying To Tell You You’re Pregnant

Sat, 21 Jul 2018 12:00:00 GMT

When you’re trying to get pregnant or when you’re really afraid you might be pregnant, the days between when you have sex and when you’re supposed to get your period can be filled with anxiety. You might be paying extra attention to your body, watching for signs of pregnancy. So what are the early signs of pregnancy? What clues does your body give even before you miss a period?

Many women experience some of the following symptoms beginning as early as conception (approximately 2 weeks after the last period). Because pregnancy symptoms are so different from woman to woman, you may have some of these symptoms or none of these symptoms.

Cramping – Cramping in early pregnancy can come from a surge of blood to the uterus. Some mildly uncomfortable, generalized cramping is normal in early pregnancy. If you have cramping that makes you double over in pain or that’s concentrated in one place, you should call your doctor right away.

Spotting – When the newly-conceived baby attaches to the uterine wall, there can be some implantation bleeding. This bleeding is usually light pink or brown and isn’t as heavy as a normal period. Because of the timing – 6 to 12 days after conception – it easily can be confused with a light period. So if you have this symptom along with other symptoms, you might want to take a pregnancy test.

Bloating – As your hormones change, you might feel bloated similar to that bloated feeling you get during your period. These same hormones can slow down your digestive system, so you might be constipated along with the bloating.

Sore Breasts – Sore breasts and nipples are often one of the first signs of pregnancy. As your levels of estrogen and progesterone spike, blood flow to your breasts increases. This can make your breasts feel sore or tingly or extra sensitive. Many women experience this same thing during the monthly cycle. But as the hormone levels dip back down during the regular cycle, the breast tenderness goes away. During pregnancy, your hormone levels stay elevated, so the tenderness doesn’t go away like it does during your monthly cycle.

Fatigue – As soon as you get pregnant, your body starts making a placenta and producing more blood to carry nutrients to your baby. Add to that all the extra hormones, which can cause sleepiness, and it’s no wonder you’re exhausted! Extreme fatigue during the first trimester is very common.

Peeing More Often – As soon as the newly-conceived baby implants in the wall of your uterus, your body starts making a hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin, which is more widely known as hCG. This is the hormone that shows up in your urine and causes the pregnancy test to be positive. It’s this same hormone that can make you feel like you have to pee every five minutes.

Nausea – Some people call this morning sickness, but that’s really a deceptive name because you can feel sick at any or all times of the day or night, not just in the morning. Some women vomit; others feel nauseous but never vomit. More rarely, some women experience extreme vomiting, leading to dehydration and other problems. If your morning sickness seems especially severe, talk with your doctor and she can offer solutions.

Mood swings – You know all those hormones we keep talking about? Well, they can cause your moods to shift like sand on a windy day. You might feel perfectly fine one moment and burst into tears the next. And maybe you don’t even know why you feel so sad or so happy or so irritated. The good news — this isn’t permanent. Pregnancy doesn’t last forever, and your moods will eventually even back out again.

Food cravings (or food aversions) – You know all those stories about pregnant women wanting pickles and ice cream? That’s not just a myth or old wives’ tale. You might not want pickles and ice cream exactly, but food cravings are a real thing. Some people believe it’s your body’s way of telling you what nutrients you need, though there isn’t much science or data to back that up. Similar to cravings, some women experience intense food aversions — you can’t even stand the smell of certain foods or you become nauseous. What should you do about the cravings? Most doctors agree that giving in to cravings in moderation is OK, but be careful about eating too many empty calories. Your growing baby needs nutrients.

If you suspect you’re pregnant, call us and schedule a time to meet with one of our staff members. We can offer a pregnancy test at no cost to you and possibly an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy. Whether you’ve been trying to get pregnant or whether this is the biggest surprise of your life, we’ll do our best to help you navigate this next step – You don’t have to do this alone.

10 Tips for a Healthy Pregnancy

Sat, 07 Jul 2018 12:00:00 GMT

Pregnancy can be scary and confusing. What are you supposed to avoid? What are you supposed to absolutely do? It can all be a bit overwhelming. There are entire books about pregnancy, so we definitely can’t cover it all in a blog post. But let’s scale it back and look at 10 very basic tips to help you have a healthy pregnancy.

1 - Go to a healthcare professional. Prenatal care is important for a healthy mama and a healthy baby. In a normal pregnancy, you’ll see your doctor once a month for the first six months, then every other week for the seventh and eighth months, then once a week for that final stretch. Your medical provider will monitor your health and the baby’s health at each visit. Those regular visits are also a good time to ask all the questions that pop up throughout your pregnancy.

2 - Take prenatal vitamins. You can get these over the counter at your local pharmacy, or your doctor can prescribe them. Sometimes, prenatal vitamins can upset your stomach, so you may want to take the vitamin at night or with a light snack.

3 - Eat several small meals. For a lot of pregnant women, an empty stomach equals morning sickness and a too-full stomach equals heartburn. You may find that eating five or six small meals each day works best for you. Because your food is fueling your own body and sustaining a developing baby, you’ll want to choose healthy foods rich in vitamins and minerals, especially folic acid. There are also certain foods you need to avoid during pregnancy – soft cheeses, undercooked meats, too much caffeine, fish with high levels of mercury. Your doctor can give you the full list of what to avoid.

4 - Exercise. Remaining active during pregnancy can help you have an easier delivery and a faster recovery from childbirth. Walking and swimming can all be simple ways to exercise during pregnancy. Ask your doctor what exercise and activity is safe for you.

5 - Avoid drinking alcohol and smoking. As soon as you find out you’re pregnant (or as soon as you decide to start trying to become pregnant), avoid drinking and smoking. There are no known safe levels of alcohol or cigarette smoke during pregnancy. Drinking alcohol during pregnancy can lead to birth defects, and smoking during pregnancy reduces the amount of oxygen your baby gets and can affect his or her development. It can also cause premature labor or increase the chance of complications during labor and delivery.

6 - Let someone else change the kitty’s litter. Your cat’s poop may contain a parasite which can cause an infection in you that you might pass on to your baby. If you must change the litter, wear gloves; but it’s best to let someone else do that chore.

7 - Before taking any supplements, ask your doctor. Before you take any supplements or use any essential oils, ask your doctor. Some essential oils or homeopathic supplements may not be safe to use during pregnancy, so it’s best to ask your doctor before you use any of them.

8 - Do Kegels. Kegels are exercises you can do to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. These simple exercises can prevent incontinence during and after pregnancy. (And who doesn’t want to reduce the chance that you’ll accidentally pee yourself when you cough or laugh?) The best part of Kegels is that you can do them anywhere and nobody even knows! Simply squeeze the muscles in your pelvic floor as if you are holding in pee or trying not to pass gas, hold for a few seconds and then release. You don’t want to pull in your stomach or squeeze your legs together, and you don’t want to tighten your butt or hold your breath. Only your pelvic muscles should be working when you do Kegels.

9 - Drink water. Water helps your body absorb nutrients and transport those nutrients to your baby so it’s important that you drink enough water each day. As an added bonus, water can also help prevent hemorrhoids and other unpleasant pregnancy symptoms. Most doctors recommend that you drink 8 – 10 glasses of water each day (totaling 64 – 80 ounces of water). Because having a too-full stomach can be unpleasant when you also have a growing baby inside you, you probably want to sip on water throughout the day rather than gulp large amounts all at once.

10 - Sleep. You need extra sleep during pregnancy because your body is working harder now – your heart is working harder to pump blood through your own body and your baby’s body, and your kidneys are working harder too. Your hormones are also fluctuating, which can make you feel more sleepy. Speaking of hormones, sleep affects the production of some hormones which help your baby grow and develop, so getting enough sleep also helps your baby grow like he or she needs to.

With all the pregnancy information in books and on the Internet, it can be exhausting and overwhelming to sort it all out. If we can help answer any of your questions about having a healthy pregnancy, please call us.

Abortion Safety Checklist

Sat, 16 Jun 2018 21:38:00 GMT

Maybe you missed a period, and you’re pretty sure you’re pregnant. Maybe you’ve taken a pregnancy test, and it’s positive. Maybe you’ve already been to a doctor, and she told you the news. You’re pregnant, but you never planned for this right now. So you’ve decided to get an abortion.

We get it. Not all surprise news feels like good news. Sometimes it feels like a punch in the gut, like your whole world is falling apart. It’s scary and overwhelming. And you might feel like you have to make a decision right this second — before anyone finds out, before things get even more out of control, before all your plans for your life are turned upside down.

First, let’s take a deep breath. Sometimes when we make a rushed decision, we put ourselves in unsafe situations. And you deserve to be safe and healthy – whatever you choose to do about this surprise pregnancy. So breathe. You don’t have to rush out and do anything right this second. Here are some questions and answers that will help you be safe and make informed choices.

Have you confirmed your pregnancy? The very first thing you need to know is if you’re really pregnant. At Collage, we can offer you a lab-quality urine test to verify your pregnancy. We can also offer you an ultrasound at no cost to you. An ultrasound is the best way to know if you have a viable pregnancy in your uterus. The ultrasound also shows how far along you are, which is really important in determining which abortion procedure you would have.

According to the Mayo Clinic , up to 20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. So even if you’ve taken a pregnancy test, it’s important to confirm with a medical professional that you’re still pregnant.

Do you know the risks involved with an abortion procedure? Like any medical procedure, an abortion involves the possibility of some risk. It’s important that you know your family medical history and your own medical history, such as RH sensitization, and that you research what the potential risks are before making any decision. Get information from reliable, trusted medical sources or ask a medical professional who has nothing to gain from your decision. If you want to schedule a time to come in and talk, someone on our staff is ready to help you find this information.

Have you researched the qualifications of the abortion provider? Just like not all surgeons or dentists – or even plumbers or contractors – have the same experience and expertise, not all abortion providers are equal. We’re used to reading reviews of our Amazon products, so we should definitely research anyone performing a medical procedure on us. You’ll want to make sure the person performing the procedure is a board-certified OB/GYN. And just like with any doctor you’re considering, you might want to check with your state medical board to see if the physician is involved in any malpractice suits.

Do you know how the provider handles complications? Any time we have a medical procedure in an outpatient clinic, we should ask how that medical provider handles complications. Does the doctor have privileges at a nearby hospital? Does the clinic have an emergency plan in place to address complications?

Do you know that you can change your mind? This is your choice. You can change your mind at any time – even if you’re already sitting in the waiting room of the clinic or changing into the paper gown. Abortion is a big decision, and you should be a hundred percent certain this is what you want to do. If you feel hesitant, you have the right to take a step back and take more time to think it through.

At Collage, we really care about you. This might be a really scary, overwhelming time for you, but you don’t have to face it alone. We’re here to listen and give you any information you need to make safe, healthy decisions.

What Do I Need To Know About My Pregnant Wife?

Sat, 02 Jun 2018 13:45:00 GMT

So the pregnancy test is positive; you’re going to be a dad! Now that the initial shock or excitement (or both) has calmed, you might be wondering what in the world you should know about your pregnant wife.

Obviously we can’t fit everything you need to know about pregnancy into one blog post. But here are 7 things you need to know about your pregnant wife.

1 - She’s hungry. Seriously, the stereotypes exist for a reason. She’s growing an entire human being inside her. That takes a lot of sustenance! She’s hungry. Of course, she may only be really hungry for certain things — pregnancy cravings are actually a thing. If you want to be the hero-husband, give her the food she’s hungry for. Even if that means driving around town in search of the right queso or the best chocolate milkshake or the exact ingredients she wants in her salad.

2 - She’s tired. Growing a person and a placenta is exhausting. Your wife is probably tired in a way she’s never experienced before. If you’re understanding of that exhaustion and do what you can to help her rest, she will be so grateful.

3 - She’s hormonal. The hormones are real. And it takes a lot of them to grow a baby! All that to say, your wife will probably be much more moody than usual. Rest assured – she doesn’t like the mood swings any more than you do. When she feels like she won an Olympic gold medal one minute and like she just missed the final shot in the NBA finals the next, she doesn’t understand it either. Pregnancy hormones are not to be understood; they are to be survived. She probably needs you to be very patient with her as you both endure the hormones.

4 - She’s uncomfortable. Her body is morphing and growing in ways she’s never experienced. Her rib cage and hip bones are expanding and moving to make room for another person inside her. As the baby grows, she feels like her bladder is becoming a tiny trampoline. Getting comfortable in bed becomes more and more challenging (thus all the pillows!). She needs you to be empathetic.

5 - She’s worried you aren’t attracted to her. As we just said, her body is changing and growing. She’s gaining weight (probably in places other than her tummy); she may be growing hair in unusual places; she may have a dark line down her abdomen or stretch marks on her sides; she might have varicose veins in her legs; her ankles might be swollen. There’s a chance she isn’t feeling her most attractive right now. So she needs to know you think she’s beautiful. Tell her. Often.

6 - She’s scared. Oh, there are so many things to be afraid of when you’re expecting a baby! What are pregnant women afraid of? Maybe that she won’t be a good mother or that she won’t know what to do. Maybe she’s scared of labor and how much it will hurt. Maybe that something will go wrong with the baby. Maybe that something will happen to you and she will have to do this all on her own. Maybe she’s afraid about financial pressures. Maybe she’s scared her relationship with you will change. Like we said, there are so many things to fear when you’re having a baby. You’re probably afraid of some of those same things. Maybe you can talk about those things and reassure each other and face those scary things together.

7 - She needs you. You might sometimes feel a little left out or unnecessary because she is the one who gets to carry your child and give birth. But please know – your wife needs you. She probably feels vulnerable and raw and tired and scared, and she needs you to be her partner. Things are always better when we know we aren’t facing life alone. She needs your help making decisions and offering emotional support. She needs your affirmation and reassurance. Even though she’s the one carrying the baby, you are vital!

Although having a baby is a huge deal and can be completely overwhelming, this is such a special time in your lives. Pregnancy and parenting can help you and your wife draw closer together and become even more of a team than you imagined. If you don’t know how your wife is feeling or what she needs from you, ask her! Without a doubt, she’ll appreciate you even more as she sees how much you care.

What Is Natural Family Planning?

Sat, 26 May 2018 15:54:00 GMT

Have you heard of Natural Family Planning (NFP)?

It’s a Fertility Awareness Method that can be used either to prevent pregnancy or to achieve pregnancy. With NFP, you observe the signs or symptoms of fertility and then you avoid sexual activity during that time if you want to avoid pregnancy, or you have sexual intercourse during that time if you want to achieve pregnancy.

What sort of fertility signs do you look for?

Basal body temperature. Your body temperature rises slightly when you ovulate. So to use this method, you take your body temperature every morning when you first wake up. Then you plot the daily temperature on a graph. As you do this, you will see patterns in your body temperature throughout your monthly menstrual cycle. You can predict when you are ovulating based on your body temperature and avoid sexual activity during those days.

Cervical mucus changes. Cervical mucus changes in texture, color, and amount throughout your menstrual cycle. To use this method, you feel and look at your cervical mucus every day and chart a description of the mucus. You’ll need to chart the mucus every day for a month or two before you can rely on this method to prevent pregnancy. A medical professional or NFP counselor can help you know what your cervical mucus looks like when you are most fertile in your cycle.

Cycle length. This is also called “The Calendar Method.” You keep track of your menstrual cycle on the calendar and count the days in each cycle. For this method to be effective, you need to count the days for at least 6 cycles (or 6 periods). After you know how many days each cycle is, you can use a mathematical equation to figure out which days you’re most likely to be fertile. Then you can avoid sexual activity on those days if you don’t want to get pregnant or have sexual intercourse on those days if you do want to become pregnant.

Some people keep track of only one of these signs of fertility. But to be most effective, you would need to track all three signs of fertility.

How effective is this in preventing pregnancy? According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), out of every 100 instances of people using NFP, there are approximately 24 unintended pregnancies each year. So that makes NFP about 76% effective in preventing pregnancy.

Does NFP prevent Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)? No. NFP can only be used to help prevent or achieve pregnancy. The only way to 100% prevent contracting an STD is to be in a mutually monogamous relationship. This means both you and your partner know for certain you do not have an STD and you both only have any type of sexual activity with each other.

Can I do NFP on my own? NFP is most effective if you do this under the guidance of a medical professional — a doctor, nurse, or counselor who knows NFP very well. This person can help you understand the information you chart (your temperature, the description of the cervical mucus, and your cycle lengths) and interpret the signs of fertility.

Observing and keeping track of all your signs of fertility can be effective in preventing a pregnancy or in helping you get pregnant. Other than the cost of the thermometer and the charts you track all the information on, NFP doesn’t cost anything. But it does require a little bit of daily work, dedication and the decision to abstain from any sexual activity during the days you could be fertile.

If you want more information about NFP or if you want to talk about whether or not you are at risk for becoming pregnant, call us and we’ll schedule an appointment at no cost to you.

My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me

Sun, 13 May 2018 23:43:00 GMT

Bonnie Tyler sang about it back in 1983 — Once upon a time I was falling in love, Now I’m only falling apart, There’s nothing I can do, Total eclipse of the heart.

Adele sang about it in 2010 – You had my heart inside of your hand, and you played it to the beat . . . We could have had it all.

There’s a reason songs about breaking up are so popular. It’s a common, timeless fact of life — not all relationships work out. Couples break up. And when someone breaks up with you, it’s normal to wonder where it all went wrong, to feel angry or hurt or embarrassed or broken. Or maybe even all of those emotions within a five-minute time span!

If your boyfriend broke up with you, maybe you’re binging on Netflix, eating ice cream straight from the carton, and listening to sad break-up songs. Or maybe you’ve started a kickboxing class to work out some of those emotions. Whatever your Getting-Over-A-Break-Up strategy is, we want to offer these 4 tips to you with the hope that they will help you.

1 - Allow yourself to feel all the feels. The only thing worse than feeling heartbroken or angry is heaping guilt or shame on top of the heartbreak and anger because you think you shouldn’t feel that emotion. A relationship has ended, and you’re allowed to feel whatever emotion you’re feeling. Sadness. Anger. Fear. Grief. Give yourself time to sit in those emotions and feel them. You might want to write it all down – writing in a pretty journal or pounding out your feelings on a computer keyboard may be healing. You probably want to vent to a trusted friend or family member. Talking or writing about your feelings can help you process. Give yourself permission to feel all the things.

2 - Take inventory. It’s normal to replay things in your mind and try to figure out where things went wrong. So go ahead – spend some time examining your actions and attitudes and behaviors. After all, that’s how you’re going to grow from this experience. Even though you probably didn’t do anything wrong, there are things you can learn about yourself that will help you in future relationships if you spend some time deconstructing the situation.

3 - But don’t get stuck there. Though it’s healthy to spend some time deconstructing the relationship, it’s not healthy to camp out there for too long. If you replay every conversation, every interaction, over and over in your mind, you’ll go crazy. And overthinking every detail of the relationship won’t change the outcome – you’ll still be broken up. So pause long enough to learn from the relationship, but don’t get stuck overanalyzing.

4 - Practice acceptance and gratitude. Even though you didn’t want to break up, this is where you find yourself. At some point, after you stew in the anger and grief for a little while, you’ll get to the point of acceptance. Choosing to accept the break-up and choosing to be thankful for the experience can help you become a better person. You can choose to be grateful for this guy and his role in your life. And you can even be grateful for your role in his life and the opportunity you had to help him grow.

It might not feel like it right now, but you will survive this break-up. It’ll be OK. And you’ll be able to move on. It might take a while to heal, but you’ll come through this a stronger person. True, this relationship didn’t work out, but it’s not because there’s anything wrong with you. It’s not because you aren’t worthy of this guy’s love. He just isn’t the right one — as trite as that might sound, it’s the truth.

You are worth the love and respect and admiration you want. You’re worth every bit of it. And when it’s the right person at the right time, it will work out.

In the meantime, maybe you can crank up the old Gloria Gaynor song while you dig into that pint of cookie dough ice cream or while you practice the latest kickbox moves — At first, I was afraid; I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong. And I grew strong. . . . I will survive. . . . I know I’m still alive. I’ve got my life to live, and I’ve got all my love to give. And I’ll survive.

5 Ways to Stay Sane as a Single Mom

Sat, 28 Apr 2018 15:25:00 GMT

Becoming a parent is such a big deal. It can be exciting and joyous, and it can also be scary and overwhelming. And if you’re going to be a single mom – or if you already are a single mom – it can be twice as scary and overwhelming.

We won’t pretend to address all the single mom issues in this blog post, but we do want to offer you 5 tips for facing single motherhood.

1 - Schedule time for yourself without your child.

You know how flight attendants always tell passengers to put the oxygen mask on themselves before helping someone else? Well, parenting is like that. You can’t take care of your child if you aren’t taking care of yourself. Whether it’s once a week or once every other week, schedule a little time for you to do something just for you.

If you can’t afford a babysitter and don’t have family nearby who will babysit for free, maybe another mom will swap babysitting with you. And your “you-time” doesn’t have to be a big evening out with friends or a date. It can be taking your child to a friend’s house and then going home and taking a bath. Or having a babysitter come stay with your child while you go for a walk. Or asking a friend to babysit while you sit in your car in a nearby parking lot, listening to the radio and painting your nails.

2 - Find a work schedule that works for you.

If you’re a single parent, you’re probably juggling a job outside your home with all the responsibilities inside your home. You might even be trying to finish school while working and being a single mom. Whatever your situation, you probably have a lot on your plate. After you figure out what sort of work hours fit best with your circumstances, don’t be afraid to tell your employer what you need. Do you need off at a certain time so you can get to the babysitter’s to pick up your child? Would it be better if you could work more hours in the evening after a family member is available to help with childcare? Many bosses are understanding and want to help single parents out. Be honest and advocate for the sort of work schedule that fits onto that full plate you’re holding.

3 - Find role models – for yourself and for your child.

First, think of any single parents you know who are raising great kids. Maybe ask one to mentor you. Or, at the very least, watch that parent and make some mental notes. Next, think of some amazing people raised by single parents. That’s the kind of person you’re trying to raise, and knowing they exist will be encouraging to you on your toughest days. Finally, look around for a strong male role model for your child if your child’s father isn’t in the picture or if your child’s father isn’t a strong role model. Maybe it’s your dad or your grandpa, maybe it’s your brother or a good male friend. Your child needs to see a responsible man committed to loving and supporting the people in his life, and your child needs that male perspective and input.

4 - Find a support network – or create one.

No matter how amazing and strong you are, you can’t do this alone. You will need help. And that’s OK! Maybe your family will be that support for you. Or maybe they won’t. You might need to create your own network of friends. If none of your old friends can be the support you need, you can find a moms’ group or a single moms’ group in your community. Once you have that circle of people, ask them for help. Sometimes we’re embarrassed to ask for help, but the people who care about us really do want to help us and support us. They’re just waiting for the opportunity.

5 - Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Because there is only one of you and you’re juggling so many responsibilities, you might leave the clean laundry unfolded while you play with your child. You might choose 30 extra minutes of sleep over staying up to finish the dishes. You can only do what you can do. Don’t set unrealistic expectations and then beat yourself up when you can’t meet them. Love your child and do the best you can each day. That’s all you can do. And it’s enough.

This may all seem completely overwhelming right now. But you’re stronger and more resilient than you think you are. And you’re probably doing a better job than you give yourself credit for.

If we can help you in any way, we want you to know we’re here for you. Call us today and we’ll schedule a time for you to come in and talk to a member of our staff.

Do I Have an STD? (STD Symptoms in Women)

Sat, 21 Apr 2018 12:00:00 GMT

How much do you know about STDs and their symptoms?

According to the Centers for Disease Controls (CDC), 15-24 year olds make up half of all new STD infections in the United States and 1 in 4 sexually active women has an STD. These numbers can seem scary, and you may be worried that you have an STD.

The good news is that most STDs can be treated. But to be treated, you first have to know you have an STD. So what are the symptoms of an STD in women?

According to the CDC’s fact sheets about STDs , these are the most common symptoms for STDs in women:

Unusual discharge from vagina
Pain, itching or burning in vaginal area
A strong fish-like odor, especially after sex
Burning or pain when going to the bathroom
Rectal pain or itching
Rectal discharge or bleeding
Blisters or sores around the vagina or rectum
Vaginal bleeding between periods
Genital warts

Very often, though, women with an STD have no signs or symptoms or they mistake the symptoms for some other common problem (like a urinary tract infection or a yeast infection). So the STD goes untreated.

When STDs go untreated, women can develop something called Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID). The symptoms of Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) are:

Pain in lower abdomen
Fever
An unusual discharge or bad odor coming from the vagina
Pain or bleeding when you have sex
Burning when you pee
Bleeding between periods

If PID is diagnosed early, it can be treated. But the longer you have PID without knowing it, the more damage it can do to your reproductive system, and that damage can’t be undone. So it’s really important to identify STDs and treat them as quickly as possible.

If so many women don’t have any symptoms of STDs, then how are you supposed to know you have one?

That’s a really good question, and this is why it’s so important to get tested. The only way to completely prevent STDs is to be in a mutually monogamous sexual relationship – that means you both only have ever had any kind of sex (oral, vaginal, anal, or mutual masturbation) with each other. If you or your partner has had any kind of sexual contact with more than one person, then you may be at risk for an STD. The only way to know for sure is to be tested.

At Collage, we care about you and want you to have all the information you need to take care of yourself and your sexual health. If you’re at risk for an STD, please know that we test and treat for some STDs at no cost to you. Call us and we’ll schedule a time for you to come in so we can answer your questions about STDs.

Am I Ready To Date?

Sat, 24 Mar 2018 12:00:00 GMT

There may be several times during your life when you ask yourself this question – Am I ready to date? Whether you’re a teenager and have never dated before, or you’ve gone through a tough break-up or divorce, or you’re a single parent considering dating again, you’re really the only one who can decide when you’re ready.

It might help for you to consider these questions when you’re trying to decide if you’re ready to start dating (or to start dating again).

As a Teen:

Why are you thinking about dating? Motive is an important consideration. Are you wanting to keep up with friends? Are you lonely? Do you feel like you’re supposed to be dating by now? Have you met someone you want to know better? Some reasons may be healthier reasons for dating than others. So you probably want to take some time to consider why you want to date and if those reasons would likely lead to a positive dating experience.

What does dating mean to you? Does it mean going on one-on-one dates? Going out in groups? Texting? Hanging out together at school? Before you can decide if you’re ready, you will want to define exactly what dating means to you and to the person you’re considering dating.

Are you emotionally ready? How do you handle stress and responsibility? Can you speak up for your own needs? Do you consider others when making decisions? Do you feel empathy for others? How do you handle conflict? All of these things are important to consider when deciding if you’re ready to date.

Do you know yourself well? Do you know what you like to do? What interests you? Do you have strong friendships? Do you know what’s important to you, what you value, what you think is right and wrong? It’s easy to get lost in a relationship and take on the interests and values of another person, so it’s especially important that you have a strong sense of self before getting into a relationship.

Have you talked to your parents/guardians about it? What do they think? Sometimes the people who know us well and love us can offer insight and perspective we don’t have.

After a Break-up:

Have you found YOU again? Do you feel like a whole person or like ½ of a couple? After a break-up, you’ll feel different than you did before the relationship. That’s because you are different. You’ll never be the same. But you do want to feel like a whole, complete person before you think about getting involved with someone else.

Do you still feel angry or bitter? If you’re still working through a lot of anger, you probably aren’t ready to date someone new. Give yourself time to heal.

Are you happy on your own? Can you have fun? In a healthy relationship, both people bring happiness and joy and fun to share with each other. It’s important to be able to be happy on your own, rather than looking to someone else to make you happy.

Have you acknowledged your role in the break-up? Just as relationships can’t succeed by the efforts of only one person, relationships rarely fall apart because of the failures or weaknesses of only one person. Do you understand your role in the break-up? Do you know what mistakes you made or what things you need to work on so that the same pitfalls don’t show up in your next relationship?

Can you trust again? Relationships require trust. If you can’t trust someone yet, it’s going to be really hard to date. Have you healed enough to risk trusting again?

As a Single Parent:

Are you taking care of yourself? Do you make time for self-care? Whether it’s a bubble bath, exercise, coffee or dinner with friends, a good book, or quiet time alone, if you don’t have time to take care of yourself, you probably don’t have time for a relationship. And if you aren’t taking care of yourself, what do you have to offer someone else?

What are your reasons? Do you think you NEED a relationship? Do you want rescued or to feel needed? Do you want companionship? Do you miss adult conversations? Maybe you can talk through your reasons with a trusted friend who will be honest with you about whether your reasons could lead to a healthy relationship.

Are you really ready? Look over the questions to ask after a break-up and consider your answers. Do you feel emotionally ready to date?

Are your kid(s) ready? Of course, you don’t have to introduce every date to your kids. You don’t even have to tell them that you’re dating at first. But are they ready to accept the idea of a new romantic interest in your life? And if not, how can you help get them ready?

When you are ready, choosing to date can lead to wonderful experiences. Dating can be a way to share your happiness and wholeness with someone else. In order to do that, you’ll need a solid sense of self and the emotional reserves to give warmth and support and joy to someone else as well as the openness to receive the same in return. If you’re ready for that, then go ahead! If you’re not ready just yet, that’s OK.

There’s no rush.

Considering Having an Abortion?

Sat, 10 Mar 2018 14:30:00 GMT

You’re pregnant and you weren’t planning for this at all. You aren’t sure what to do, and you’re considering having an abortion.

This is probably a very scary, very overwhelming time for you. We want you to know that you don’t have to walk through this alone.

First, take a deep breath. Are you sure you’re pregnant? Even if you’ve had a positive pregnancy test, the way to absolutely confirm a pregnancy is with an ultrasound. If you think you’re pregnant, we can meet with you to do a medical assessment and see if you’re a good candidate for an ultrasound.

Next, take your time to think through your decision. You might feel like abortion is your only option, but you don’t have to rush into a decision. Here are some questions that might help as you weigh your options.

Are you being led by fear right now? Sometimes fear causes us to respond differently than we would under other circumstances. Take some time to let your initial fear subside before you make a final decision.

Do you have someone to talk to? Find someone who will listen and not judge you. Most importantly, talk to someone who won’t coerce you into a decision. If you don’t have somebody to talk to, our staff would be glad to be that listening ear for you. We’ll care for you as best we can, no matter what.

Are you being coerced or pressured? If women are pressured or forced into an abortion, many regret it later because they feel like the choice wasn’t really theirs. We don’t want you to make this important decision because someone is pressuring you.

Do you know what to expect with an abortion? Like any other medical procedure, abortion has potential physical risks and side effects. Before any medical procedure, it’s important to know what the possible side effects and risks are. Ask questions and do research on trusted sites so you’re educated about what will happen or what could happen to your body during and after an abortion. One of our advocates can help answer these questions for you.

How pregnant are you? Your stage of pregnancy will affect the type of abortion you can have and how much it will cost and what risks are associated with it. An ultrasound can reveal how far along you are in your pregnancy.

Does your decision line up with what you believe is most important in life? Take inventory of your own values and morals. Would an abortion line up with what you value and with your beliefs about right and wrong?

What are the other options? We’d encourage you to make a list of all options — having and raising the baby yourself, having and raising the baby with the help of your support system, having the baby and placing the baby for adoption, or having an abortion. Consider making a list of the pros and cons of each option. Have a trusted friend or family member or advisor help you with these lists. That person may be able to think a little more objectively about the pros and cons than you can right now.

This is a life-changing decision. You deserve to take all the time you need to learn all the information and consider every option. You also deserve to have someone to walk with you through this decision – someone who won’t judge you or pressure you, someone who has nothing to lose or gain from your decision.

At Collage, we really care about you. This might be a very frightening, overwhelming time for you, but you don’t have to face it all alone. We’re good listeners so feel free to call us to schedule a time to come in and talk with one of our staff members.

Am I Pregnant?

Sat, 24 Feb 2018 16:04:00 GMT

Am I Pregnant?

Maybe you’re showing signs of early pregnancy. Or maybe you aren’t even sure what signs to look for. If you’re wondering whether or not you’re pregnant, take a deep breath and then take this quiz.

Have you had a period this month?

A. Yes.

B. No, and that’s weird because I’m usually right on time.

C. No, but I don’t always have periods every month.

Have you been sick to your stomach?

A. No, not at all.

B. Yes, I’ve been feeling like I’m going to puke every day.

C. Yeah, but I thought I was just carsick.

How does your bra fit?

A. Just the same as it always does.

B. It feels like I bought it a size too small.

C. It’s a little snug, like maybe it shrank in the wash.

Speaking of your breasts, how are they feeling?

A. Normal, no different than they usually feel.

B. Ouch! They are so sensitive!

C. They feel like they do when I’m PMSing.

Have you been tired lately?

A. Not really. I have a lot of energy.

B. Oh my goodness! I want to take a couple naps a day!

C. I’m sort of tired, but I also have a lot on my plate right now.

How do your clothes fit?

A. They fit fine. Same as always.

B. Everything feels tight! I’ve put on a few pounds.

C. I’m a little bloated so they’re a little snug.

How often are you peeing?

A. No more than usual.

B. When am I not peeing? It seems like I’m going every hour.

C. Hmmm, maybe a little more often than usual.

What’s your mood like lately?

A. I don’t think I notice any difference from the way I usually feel.

B. Everything makes me cry!

C. I’m a little bit cranky.

If all – or almost all – of your answers are “A,” then you’re probably not pregnant. But some women don’t have the usual symptoms of pregnancy. So if you’re really concerned, you can call us to schedule a time to come in for a pregnancy test.

If all – or almost all – of your answers are “B,” then there’s a good chance you’re pregnant. You do have the symptoms. But the first step in knowing for sure is a pregnancy test. So just give us a call us to schedule a test at no cost to you. Whatever the result, we want to help you and support you as you figure out the next steps.

If all – or almost all – of your answers are “C,” then you might have some of the signs of pregnancy. Or you might be about to start your period. You might want to wait a week or so, and if you still don’t get your period, you probably want to take a pregnancy test. Or if you want to find out for sure, call us and schedule an appointment.

Wondering if you’re pregnant – especially when the possibility is an unplanned or unexpected pregnancy – can be very stressful and scary. You don’t have to go through that stress and fear alone. We’re here to help you. Please feel free to give us a call.

I Think I’m in Love

Sat, 10 Feb 2018 15:41:00 GMT

I think I’m in love, but how do I know for sure?

Songs are written about it. Movies are made about it. Poetry has centered around it. You can find thousands of memes about it. And we set aside an entire holiday to celebrate it.

Love.

But how do you know for sure when you’re in love?

We certainly don’t have all the answers, but there are some general questions you can ask yourself that will help you figure out if what you’re feeling is real love.

Do I love myself and feel complete, even when I’m not dating anyone? When you feel needy and like you’re depending on someone else to complete you, that’s usually a sign of infatuation instead of love. It’s hard to really love someone else when you don’t feel comfortable with yourself and love yourself.

Is my attraction mostly physical or sexual? Or is it more than that? Real love extends beyond the physical to a deep emotional connection and attraction. Would you want to be with this person even if sex weren’t a part of the relationship? If so, that’s a good sign that you really love him or her.

Can I be myself with this person? When you’re really in love with someone, you both feel comfortable being yourselves. You don’t have to pretend to be anything you aren’t, and you don’t walk on eggshells. You feel accepted just as you are. You feel safe.

Do we have fun together? Do you laugh? Do you do fun things and have interesting conversations? When you’re really in love, you enjoy being together and you have fun together.

How do we handle conflict? You’ll have conflict in any authentic relationship. The key is in how you handle it. Do you sweep it under the rug and ignore it? Do you pretend there isn’t any conflict? If you haven’t had any conflict, there’s a good chance you aren’t being real with each other. And if you aren’t being real with each other, then you can’t possibly know if you’re really in love.

Do I know my boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t perfect? If you think you’ve found the PERFECT ONE, then you’re probably feeling infatuation instead of love. When you really are in love, you see that your partner isn’t perfect, but you accept his or her imperfections. (Please understand that we’re not talking about imperfections like drug abuse or verbal, emotional or physical abuse. If your significant other demonstrates any of those signs, you need to remove yourself from the relationship and encourage him or her to get help.)

Do I care about We as much as I care about Me? When you really love someone, you care about him or her as much as you care about yourself. You want to put your relationship and your couple goals and priorities on the same level as your personal goals and priorities. We’re not saying you lose yourself and become a doormat. No, not at all. We’re saying real love isn’t selfish and self-centered.

We care about you. And we want you to be in a healthy, loving relationship. You deserve that. If we can help you navigate your relationship questions, please call us.

#MeToo

Sat, 27 Jan 2018 12:00:00 GMT

Trigger warning: This article discusses sexual harassment and sexual violence, which may be triggering to survivors.

You’ve probably seen the hashtag. And you probably know what it means. #MeToo.

Since stories of sexual assault and abuse in Hollywood broke in October, women and men have told their stories of sexual abuse or assault on social media, tagging them with the now-famous phrase, #MeToo.

Maybe you’ve added your own voice to the movement. Maybe you’ve typed #MeToo.

Or maybe you haven’t shared your story or typed #MeToo, but your heart definitely cries out in heartbroken silence, Me Too!

For some survivors of sexual abuse or assault, the #MeToo movement has been empowering, a pivotal moment in healing. A very real acknowledgment that you are not alone, that you are seen and heard and believed. This movement has done a lot to take away the shame and secrecy of sexual abuse and assault.

For others, the near-constant news-stream of abuse and assault allegations against one famous person after another has been overwhelming, a trigger for many memories and hurts to surface. Maybe it’s brought up pain you weren’t quite prepared to handle.

If you’ve been abused or assaulted, first we want to say that we’re so sorry this has happened to you. It shouldn’t have happened. As you know by all the #MeToo hashtags on social media, you’re definitely not alone. And you didn’t deserve this. Nobody does.

So, if you’re struggling with all the emotions that have come with the #MeToo movement, we want to encourage you.

Choose to participate, to speak up, to hashtag, to read the news. Or not. Everyone is different. For some people, speaking up and sharing their stories publicly will be empowering and freeing. For others, it will feel too overwhelming, too risky. You might not be ready. You might never be ready to tell anyone outside your closest friends. That’s OK. It’s OK to protect yourself. It’s OK to not read the news articles. It’s OK to skim over someone’s social media post about their assault. You choose the level of participation that is best for you. Don’t feel pressured to tell your story publicly if you aren’t ready and if you don’t have the resources and support to handle it.

Pay attention to your reaction. You may have noticed that your anxiety level has increased. You might feel down or withdrawn or hollow. You might have nightmares or feel like you’re reliving the abuse or assault. You might feel like your heart is racing or like your stomach is cramping. You might just feel extra stressed for what seems to be no reason. If you’ve been reading a lot in the news or in your social media feeds about big, abuse scandals or about the abuse of your friends, then it could be that those stories are triggering traumatic responses in your body. If so, we encourage you to find someone — a mental health professional or a trusted friend — to help you process through this.

Consider talking to a professional. If you have survived sexual abuse or assault, talking with a professional counselor or therapist may help you move beyond the trauma. Having a professional look you in the eye and say, “I hear you, and I believe you,” can be very healing. People trained in helping abuse and assault survivors can also help you understand the trauma and learn coping skills as you process through it all.

If you’ve been sexually abused or assaulted, we want to connect you to people who are trained to help you.

If you’re in Kearney, you can contact:

Family Advocacy Network at 308-865-7492 http://www.familyadvocacynetwork.com
SAFE center at 1-877-237-2513 http://www.safecenter.org

If you’re in Grand Island, you can contact:

Rising Willow at 1-866-995-4422 https://www.willowrising.org/

However you are handling this #MeToo movement and wherever you are in the healing process, let us remind you of your worth, your strength, your love. Take some time to care for yourself — show yourself kindness; give yourself comfort; connect with someone who supports you. And if we can help you in any way, please call us.

Dreams and Goals for the New Year

Sat, 13 Jan 2018 15:42:00 GMT

It’s a new year – a time for dreaming of the future, for making resolutions, for setting goals. What are your dreams for your future? If you could do anything, what would it be?

Sometimes the thought of a big dream or the prospect of setting goals can be overwhelming.

But setting goals doesn’t have to be scary and overwhelming. Here are 6 tips to help get you started.

1 - Be realistic. Start with your strengths. What are you good at? What are you passionate about? Start there and dream. Of course, you can dream about doing anything you want, but your chance of success will be greater if you make your dreams and goals realistic. To be honest, some goals just aren’t realistic. No matter how much a 40-year-old woman who cannot turn a cartwheel wants it, she just isn’t going to become an Olympic gymnast. But she could learn 10 yoga poses or learn how to salsa dance. So take the big, big dreams and if you need to, tweak them a little to make them realistic.

2 - Be specific. You won’t know if you meet your goal if it’s not specific and measurable. What exactly do you want to achieve? When? Rather than “I want to be happier this year,” think about what specifically will make you happier? Will completing a diploma or degree make you happier? Will leaving a toxic relationship make you happier? Will having $500 in savings make you happier? Will owning a car or getting a raise or learning to decorate cakes or sewing a quilt or reading twenty books make you happier?

Rather than thinking, “I want to be more financially stable,” think about exactly what you mean by that. Do you want to earn a specific amount of money each month? Do you want to create a budget and stick to it? Do you want to end each month with a specific amount of money in the bank after the bills are paid? Set that specific goal.

Defining a goal will make it clearer and easier to reach. Plus, you’ll know exactly when you accomplish it so you can celebrate!

3 - Be strategic. Dream big, but plan small. Set the big goal and then work backward, breaking it down with a clear action plan. If your big goal is to earn a college degree, then smaller goals might be to take the SAT by a certain date and to complete the FAFSA by a certain date and to apply to so many colleges by another date. If your big goal is to become a nurse or to become an engineer or to earn a cosmetology license, then what small goals do you need to accomplish in order to meet the big one? Work backward and set those small goals with deadlines.

4 - Be watchful. Track your progress. Write things down. Set deadlines on a monthly planner. Make lists and cross things off as you complete them. Celebrate small successes. Small successes breed bigger successes. When you can see your progress, you’ll be motivated to continue.

5 - Be proactive. Take some time to honestly think about what obstacles might prevent you from achieving your goal. Make a list of those. And then brainstorm ways to overcome those obstacles. Surprise roadblocks can really mess up your plans; but if you’ve already anticipated the problem, you’re less likely to give up when things get hard.

6 - Be supported. When other people know about your goals, they can hold you accountable and encourage you. They can also help out with the logistics of overcoming those obstacles we just talked about. But be careful. Not everyone will be encouraging and helpful. Find people who will be your cheerleaders and surround yourself with them. You’ll be more likely to succeed if you have the support of people who love you and are rooting for you.

Even if your path has taken some unexpected twists and turns, you can start now and dream beautiful dreams for your future. Then you can set goals and make those beautiful dreams come true. Our hope for you is that you know that you’re worth all the best dreaming and goal-setting. And if we can help you move toward a healthier or happier future, please call us.

When Christmas Doesn’t Feel Very Merry

Sat, 23 Dec 2017 17:39:00 GMT

The twinkling lights, the big red bows, all the songs about decking the halls and feeling jolly and peace on earth and joy to the world. For some, this is the happiest season of all.

But for others, the holidays are really difficult. Maybe this year hasn’t panned out the way you thought it would. Maybe this Christmas season isn’t at all the picture-perfect dream you had for yourself. Sometimes grief or difficult surprises or loneliness or depression make the holidays especially tough. It’s hard to feel like the whole world is celebrating when you’re struggling.

We want you to know that you’re not alone.

You’re not the only one struggling to find joy this holiday season. Your circumstances might be unique to you, but you aren’t the only one who feels sad or lost or lonely or confused.

We want you to know that it’s OK that your holiday season – that your life – isn’t perfect. Nobody’s life is perfect. Nobody’s life is like the ones inside those Christmas movies. And, as you know, a lot can change in one year. Things won’t be like this forever. Beauty can eventually come from the unexpected things in your life.

During this season, we hope you can find some moments of peace. As you sip hot cocoa or snuggle under a warm blanket, we hope you find a little comfort. As you see the twinkling lights on the trees, we wish for you to find some glimmers of hope. Peace, comfort, and hope — that is our Christmas wish for you this season.

If we can help you in any way, please call our office.

Merry Christmas, friends.

5 Tips For Less Stress This Holiday Season

Sat, 09 Dec 2017 12:00:00 GMT

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. For some people, the holiday season is filled with joy and happy excitement. For others, this season is a time of stress and a trigger for some not-so-jolly feelings. Whether you experience some normal stress related to the hustle and bustle of the season or some more serious anxiety and depression, we’re hoping these tips will help you experience a bit more peace and a little less stress this holiday season.

1 – Be realistic. We often have these ideal, picture-perfect expectations for the holidays. We want everything to be perfect, but there is no ideal holiday. If you have unrealistic expectations, you’ll spend the entire season feeling disappointed. Instead, be realistic. The cookies might burn; the strand of Christmas lights might not work; the turkey might take too long to thaw; Uncle Billy might start an argument about politics. Life is unpredictable. Accept that everything won’t go as planned, and you can’t control every detail. If you keep your expectations reasonable, you’ll enjoy the holiday season more.

2 – Focus on today, not yesterday. Something about being home surrounded by family can make us suddenly turn into our ten-year-old selves. Old hurts can resurface. We find ourselves arguing over a game of Boggle or whose turn it is to wash the dishes. Take some deep breaths and try to act like your best adult self, then treat siblings and cousins like you would treat adult friends. If you recognize that you’re all likely to revert to childhood patterns and behaviors, you’re more able to proactively plan ways to avoid falling into that trap.

3 – Choose wisely. You’re allowed to say no to things that will add to your stress or hurt your physical or mental health. Think moderation — whether it’s food or drink or holiday spending, choosing moderation will help keep your stress levels down. The same is true for time with people who may not bring out your best self. You can keep interactions with difficult or toxic people to a minimum or avoid them altogether. It’s ok to protect your mental health by saying no.

4 – Ask for help. You don’t have to handle everything on your own. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with tasks or with decisions or with circumstances, ask for help. None of us can do everything alone. We all have to ask for help sometimes. It’s ok to ask someone to help you.

5 – Find meaning in the season. Sometimes our stress is multiplied when we’re caught up in thinking about ourselves and our own struggles or busy agenda. Taking some time to focus on something bigger than ourselves can lower our stress. So it might help to spend some time thinking about the meaning behind Christmas and making meaningful connections or giving our time or money in ways that seem worthwhile.

We hope these tips are a start in helping you experience less stress this holiday season. How do you avoid or handle stress? Do you have any go-to tips to share with us? If so, post them in the comments below.

Gratitude – Developing Habits That Make Every Day Thanksgiving

Sun, 19 Nov 2017 14:08:00 GMT

The Roman politician and writer Cicero once said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

Over 2000 years later, American author William Arthur Ward wrote, “Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”

Even country music singer Willie Nelson has said, “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”

For thousands of years, poets, authors, and songwriters have written about gratitude. More recently, psychologists and neurologists have studied the benefits of gratefulness. And since the beginning of time, our moms have reminded us to “say thank you.”

Everyone seems to agree it’s good for us to be grateful and polite of us to express it. So how do we become more grateful? Here are 5 habits that may help make us more feel more grateful.

1 - Keep a Gratitude Journal. Sometimes we don’t feel grateful because we forget the things we have to be thankful for. Taking a couple minutes each day to write down three things we can be thankful for will help give us a grateful attitude.

2 - Fill a Gratitude Jar. Similarly, you can keep a large gratitude or happiness jar. Each day, you can write something you’re thankful for or happy about on a slip of paper (plain paper will work, though, if you’re like us, pretty scrapbooking paper might make you feel even more thankful). Each week, you will watch the jar getting more and more full with your blessings. And at the end of the year, you can dump out the jar and read each of the pieces of paper to see all the good things that have happened throughout the year.

3 - Use your senses — your five senses. Each day, try to stop at least once and truly experience your surroundings. Think about what you hear, smell, feel, see, and taste. Do you hear that bird outside your window? Or maybe it’s the way the sky is turning completely golden with the sunset. Or the taste of that first sip of your first peppermint hot cocoa of the season. Whatever it is, stop for 30 seconds and enjoy it. When we stop to enjoy the simple things, we feel more grateful.

4 - Volunteer. When we get wrapped up in ourselves and all our own stuff, we tend to feel less happy and thankful in our lives. But when we take some time to serve other people and put them first, we usually get some perspective that makes us more grateful for the good in our lives. Sort clothes at a local thrift shop; serve a meal at a soup kitchen; donate coats to a school coat drive; make copies for teachers at the local elementary school; cheer on athletes at the Special Olympics; adopt a family to buy Christmas gifts for; pick up litter at a local park. There are almost as many different ways to volunteer as there are people willing to do it. Use whatever you’re good at or interested in to benefit other people. And you’ll probably find, like we have, that in giving, we really receive the benefit too.

5 - Tell someone you appreciate them. It could be a formal thank-you note, but it doesn’t have to be. You could easily send a text message or forward along a thankful meme. Telling someone you’re thankful for them can actually make you feel more grateful. And expressing your appreciation might just make that person think about who they have to be thankful for, so you could cause a domino effect of gratitude.

Sometimes feeling thankful doesn’t come naturally. But we can make some choices and be intentional about forming a grateful attitude. And this new attitude can change every common day into Thanksgiving.

5 Things Everyone Needs to Know About Syphilis

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 16:12:00 GMT

STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) are a big deal for young adults. According to the CDC , in 2016 there were more than 89,000 reported cases of syphilis in the United States. Nearly 6,500 of those new cases were among 15 – 24 year olds.

Some of you probably don’t want to talk about STDs with your friends or family, and you may not even want to bring it up with a doctor because it can be embarrassing. We want to give you some information about syphilis, an STD, because if it isn’t treated, this infection can cause very serious problems. With the right treatment, though, syphilis is pretty simple to cure.

Here are 5 things you need to know about syphilis:

1 - What is it?

Syphilis is a bacterial infection that is spread through sexual contact. You can get syphilis by having vaginal, oral or anal sex with someone who is infected. Syphilis can also be spread from an infected mother to her unborn baby. If you have syphilis once and get treatment, you can still get syphilis again.

2 - What does syphilis look like?

Syphilis is divided into stages (primary, secondary, latent and tertiary). Each stage has different signs and symptoms.

A person with primary stage syphilis usually has a sore or sores at the original site of infection (on or around the genitals, around the anus or in the rectum, or around or in the mouth. These sores are often firm, round and painless.

A person with secondary stage syphilis may have a skin rash, swollen lymph nodes and a fever. Some other symptoms may include sore throat, patchy hair loss, muscle aches and feeling really tired.

During both primary and secondary stage syphilis, the signs and symptoms may be so mild that you don’t notice them. So it is possible to have syphilis for years and not realize it.

Latent means hidden or concealed, and during this stage there are no symptoms at all.

A person with tertiary syphilis usually has major medical problems. At this stage, it can affect the heart, the brain and other bodily organs.

3 - How do I know for sure if I have syphilis?

You have to get tested. There is no other way. Usually, a blood test is done. Sometimes, a doctor may test the fluid from a sore to see if it’s syphilis.

4 - What if I don’t get treated?

Without treatment, you will progress through the stages of syphilis and you will continue to have syphilis in your body for years, potentially spreading the infection to any sexual partners.

Not everyone who has untreated syphilis will end up with tertiary stage syphilis. But when it does happen, it occurs 10 – 30 years after the initial infection and can affect many organs in the body. It can cause major problems in the heart and with blood vessels. It can infect the eyes and cause blindness. It can also infect the brain and cause neurological problems. And finally, it can lead to death.

5 - Is there a cure for syphilis?

Yes. The right antibiotics can cure you of syphilis. But the antibiotics won’t reverse any damage that has already been done. This is why it’s so important to be tested and get treatment right away.

There is only one way to totally avoid getting syphilis (or any STD). That is not to have sex. Waiting to have sex till you are in a committed, long-term monogamous relationship is one of the safest ways to prevent STD’s. Remember, if you’ve had sex, or lots of sexual partners, this is still a good option for you…waiting! Condoms can help prevent STD’s but also know they are not 100% guaranteed. For example, condoms break and are site specific, meaning if you have contact with a sore on another area of your partner’s genitals while using a condom, you can be infected.

You deserve to be healthy. If you’re sexually active and want to talk about your risk for syphilis or any other STDs, please call us. We’ll set up a confidential appointment at no cost to you to listen to your concerns and talk through your options.

What is the Rhogam Shot and What do I Need to Know About it?

Sat, 21 Oct 2017 12:00:00 GMT

Rhogam is a brand name for a shot of Rh immunoglobulin (RhIg). Before we talk about why some women need this shot before delivery or after a miscarriage or abortion, let’s talk about what the Rh factor is.

You’ve probably heard about blood types, like type A and type B. But everyone’s blood also has a Rh factor. The Rh factor is a protein that can be on the surface of the red blood cells. Either you have the protein and you’re Rh positive (Rh+), or you don’t have the protein and you’re Rh negative (Rh-). So when you see your blood type, it’s always what type of blood you have first and then + or – to indicate the Rh, for example, A+, A-, B+, B-, and etc.

How do we get the Rh factor?

We inherit it through our genes. If both parents are Rh-, their baby will be Rh-. If the mother is Rh- and the father is Rh+, then the baby could be either.

How could the Rh factor cause problems during pregnancy?

The problem comes if the mom is Rh- and the baby is Rh+. And it most likely won’t be a problem in a first pregnancy. But it can become a problem in later pregnancies.

If mom’s Rh- blood comes into contact with the baby’s Rh+, the mom’s body automatically makes antibodies against the Rh positive factor. The Mom’s body senses something foreign and is trying to protect itself by making these antibodies. When our bodies make antibodies, their purpose is to attack and destroy. Usually this is helpful when our bodies do this for things like colds and flu’s but in this case it can have adverse effects on further pregnancies.

The mom and baby don’t share a blood system during pregnancy, but sometimes the mom’s blood and baby’s blood could mix. This could happen during certain invasive medical tests, during delivery, during a miscarriage or an abortion.

If a mom’s Rh- blood mixes with a baby’s Rh+ blood during any of those situations, the mom’s body will create Rh antibodies. Then in future pregnancies, if Mom has another Rh+ baby, the antibodies in the mom’s body will cross the placenta and attack the new baby’s Rh+ blood. The baby’s blood won’t have enough oxygen, and the developing baby will suffer serious illness or even death.

So how does the RhIg (Rhogam) shot solve the problem?

First, your doctor will do a blood test to see if you are Rh positive or negative and if you have developed Rh antibodies. Then, if you are Rh- and have not developed antibodies, your doctor will give you a shot of RhIg (Rhogam). This Rhogam shot prevents the mom from making antibodies against the Rh factor, so the mom’s body won’t attack the blood of any future babies.

If you have a miscarriage or abortion, make sure to ask your medical provider whether you are Rh positive or negative and if you need the Rhogam shot.

If you are Rh- and your body has already made antibodies against the Rh factor, a Rhogam shot will not work. In that case, your doctor will closely monitor any future pregnancies and keep a close eye on your baby’s development.

Do you have more questions?

A member of our medical staff would be happy to talk with you. Call us to set up a confidential appointment at no cost to you.

Source: https://www.acog.org/Patients/FAQs/The-Rh-Factor-How-It-Can-Affect-Your-Pregnancy

Is That Cold Sore Really Herpes?

Sat, 07 Oct 2017 17:38:00 GMT

Is that cold sore really herpes? What’s the difference between a cold sore and genital herpes? Is there even a difference?

Maybe you’re confused. Someone has referred to a cold sore as herpes, but isn’t herpes an STD (sexually transmitted disease)? And even little kids can get cold sores. So what’s that all about?

Those are all good questions. Let’s sort this out.

First of all, there are two different kinds of herpes: herpes simplex virus 1 (HSV-1) and herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2). Both of these are viral — which means they are caused by a virus and once you get the virus, you have the virus forever.

HSV-1 is mainly transmitted by oral-to-oral contact, like from saliva. Most cases of HSV-1 are contracted during childhood and the infections are oral, which means the infection is in or around the mouth. This means HSV-1 is not always a sexually transmitted infection. But if someone with HSV-1 has oral sex, they could pass the infection to their partner and cause an HSV-1 infection on the genitals. So some cases of genital herpes can be caused by HSV-1.

HSV-2 is almost always spread through sexual contact and causes genital herpes. One exception is if a mother has herpes, she can transmit the virus to her baby during delivery.

So HSV-1 is the main cause of oral herpes (cold sores), and HSV-2 is the main cause of genital herpes.

What are the symptoms of herpes?

Like many STD’s, a lot of people with herpes don’t have symptoms at all. However, both infections – oral and genital – can cause mild symptoms to painful blisters or sores. With HSV-2, when sores do happen, it’s called a “herpes outbreak.” It can often take 2-4 weeks to heal and can be accompanied with flu-like symptoms. Many times the number and severity of outbreaks decrease over time.

How common is herpes?

According to the Centers for Disease Control genital herpes is common in the United States. More than one out of every six people aged 14 to 49 years have genital herpes.

How is herpes spread?

As we said, HSV-1 is mostly spread by oral-to-oral contact – by direct contact with the sores, with saliva, or with surfaces in or around the mouth. Sometimes, HSV-1 is spread through oral sex. HSV-2 is mostly transmitted during sexual activity – through direct contact with the genital surfaces, skin, sores, or the fluids of someone who is infected by HSV-2. Often, HSV-2 is spread even though there are no obvious sores or symptoms.

How can I prevent herpes?

Consistently and correctly using condoms can help reduce the risk of spreading genital herpes, but HSV can be found on areas of skin not covered by a condom. The only way to 100% prevent spreading or contracting herpes is to abstain from all sexual activity and to only have sex when you’re in a mutually monogamous relationship (you both only ever have sex with each other).

If you have tested positive for herpes, talk with your medical provider about how you can reduce the chances of spreading herpes to future partners.

I want more information, how can I get that?

If you want to learn more about herpes simplex 1 or 2, you can go to the World Health Organization site – or to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website. You can also call and schedule a time to come in and talk with one of our Collage staff members. All of our services are confidential and provided at no cost to you. Call us today to schedule an appointment.

HPV Vaccine Q&A

Sat, 16 Sep 2017 16:40:00 GMT

Maybe your doctor or your child’s pediatrician has recommended the HPV vaccine (also known by its brand names, Gardasil and Cervarix) and you’re wondering if it’s necessary. Or maybe you’ve heard some people say they’re opting out of it and you’re wondering why.

If you’re weighing whether or not you or your child should get the HPV vaccine, we want to help you make an informed decision. So here are some common questions and answers about HPV and the vaccine.

What is HPV?

HPV stands for human papillomavirus. HPV is a common virus that passes from one person to another through direct skin-to-skin contact during sexual activity. There are more than 150 strains of HPV According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), about one in four people in the United States are currently infected with HPV. About 14 million people, including teenagers, become infected each year. HPV infections are most common among people in their late teens and early twenties.

How dangerous is HPV?

Most people with HPV never develop symptoms and don’t even realize they have it. The CDC estimates that 9 out of 10 cases of infection go away within two years without any complications or treatment. ( https://www.cdc.gov/hpv/parents/questions-answers.html )

Sometimes, though, HPV can cause cancer – cervical cancer and other cancers that aren’t very common, like cancers of the anus, penis, vagina, vulva, and throat. Every year, HPV causes cancer in about 30,700 people.

How effective is the HPV vaccine?

The CDC states that the HPV vaccine is “highly effective” ( close to 100% ) in preventing the types of HPV targeted by the vaccine. The types of HPV that the vaccine targets are the types most likely to cause cancer and genital warts. Since 2006, when the doctors began recommending the vaccine, HPV infections among teenage girls have decreased by 64% .

If people have already been sexually active and exposed to HPV, the vaccine is less likely to protect them because the vaccine doesn’t treat existing infections or associated diseases.

The HPV vaccine doesn’t protect against every type of HPV, so the vaccine won’t prevent all cases of cervical cancer. Gardasil targets four types of HPV and Cervarix targets two types.

How long does the HPVvaccine last?

Current studies have followed people for ten years, and there doesn’t seem to be any evidence that the protection has weakened over those ten years.

How safe is this vaccine?

The FDA (Food and Drug Administration) has approved the vaccine, and the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) has recommended it. The FDA approved Gardasil in 2006 and Cervarix in 2009.

What are the possible side effects?

Common side effects from the vaccine are pain, redness or swelling in the arm where the vaccine was given, fever, headache, fatigue, nausea, and muscle or joint pain. Brief fainting spells are also listed as a potential side effect.

In rare cases, someone will have a serious allergic reaction to the vaccine. If you’re allergic to other vaccines, talk with your doctor about whether you’re more likely to be allergic to this one.

Why are some people choosing not to get this vaccine?

Some parents are concerned with the safety of this vaccine. Though the FDA has approved it and the CDC recommends it, some parents worry that it’s relatively new and want to wait until it’s been used for a longer time to make sure there aren’t any long-term side effects. The Department of Health and Human Services’ National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program has recorded 123 cases in which a person injured by the HPV vaccine was awarded money.

Between the time the vaccine was recommended in 2006 and March of 2014, about 67 million doses of HPV were given and about 25,063 complaints about the vaccine were reported to the Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting System (VAERS) . Some of these complaints (about 92%) were for relatively minor issues, like fainting. But some of the complaints were for blood clotting and neurological disorders. The CDC maintains that the HPV vaccine is as safe as the meningitis and Tdap vaccines, which are routinely given.

Will the HPV vaccine prevent all cases of cervical cancer or genital warts?

No. Though the success rate is very high for the types of HPV the vaccines target, the vaccines do not target all the types of HPV that can cause cancer or genital warts.

The only way to 100% prevent HPV is to abstain from sexual activity or to be in a mutually monogamous relationship with someone who does not have HPV (you only ever have any type of sexual activity with each other).

Have other questions? We totally understand this isn’t a black and white decision. There are many aspects to consider so we encourage you to weigh your individual risks and benefits regarding this vaccine. Have conversations with other people who are in a similar situation as you. It always helps to see other perspectives.

5 Tips for a Successful School Year

Sat, 26 Aug 2017 12:00:00 GMT

It’s that time of year again. Students all around have stocked up on notebooks and highlighters and headed back to school. Whether you’re back at the same high school or off to college, here are five tips for having a successful school year.

1 - Develop a positive self-image.

It doesn’t matter what your past choices have been – the things you’ve done or not done, the mistakes you’ve made or the opportunities you’ve missed. Today, right now, you have positive qualities to celebrate. Are you good in math? a good listener? helpful? kind to animals? a great story-teller? great with a power tool? a good singer or artist? an excellent organizer?

Everyone has talents or interests or natural gifts that set them apart from the crowd. Find yours and rock it! It’s ok to feel good about the things you’re good at.

2 - See the positive.

Even on the worst day, there’s something to be grateful for. But our tendency is to downplay all the good things that happen in the day and focus on the one thing that went wrong. Flip that habit. Instead, take a moment during the day to think of three things you can be thankful for – three things that went right. Research shows that positive thoughts help you see more possibilities in your life and increase your skills and resources.

3 - Talk to your parents.

We know, we know – this doesn’t seem like very cool advice. But having a healthy relationship with your parents will help you have healthier relationships with other people and will help you do better in school. So even if the conversations seem a bit forced or awkward, talk to them. Tell them about your day – about that tough test in algebra or the kid who gets all up in your business at the lunch table, about the way your roommate snores or about the professor who spends the entire class talking about his dog. And when you have a decision to make, ask your parents for advice. You may be surprised that they faced a similar choice when they were your age. Finally, do stuff with your parents – clean the kitchen together, binge-watch a Netflix show together or play a game together. Sometimes doing things together can take the pressure off thinking of what to say.

4 - Set healthy boundaries.

Pay attention to your gut, especially to when you’re uncomfortable in situations. This might be the friend you think is using you for answers to the math homework or the roommate who brings their significant other into your room for a sleepover or your own boyfriend or girlfriend who’s pressuring you for sex or telling you who you can be friends with. When you feel uncomfortable, speak up and assert yourself. Decide what your personal boundaries are and let others know where your comfort level line is.

5 - Live your values.

Living your values means deciding what is important to you and living your life accordingly. It means speaking up to say, “I stand for this” or “This is what I’m all about,” and then following it up with your actions. You don’t have to wait until you’re settled into your adult life to live your values. Let your values impact the things you choose to do or not do right now.

Here at Collage, we’re cheering you on as you start a brand-new school year. We hope it’s filled with successes and healthy relationships. We also know that sometimes, life isn’t as easy as 5 tips for success. In those moments, we’re here for you. If you find yourself struggling with life choices or bumpy relationships, a member of our team is available to sit down and listen and help you work through it. Just give us a call at any office or shoot us an email.

Abstinence, Purity, Chastity – What do you think of when you hear those words?

Sat, 12 Aug 2017 12:00:00 GMT

Sometimes, when we talk, we use words and we assume everyone has the same understanding of the words. But this can lead to misunderstandings. So occasionally, we need to pause and clarify what we mean.

Today, let’s pause and clarify what we mean when we use the words abstinence, purity, and chastity in regards to sexual activity.

The most common definition of sexual abstinence is not engaging in any form of sexual activity. That isn’t just limited to vaginal, oral or anal sex. It includes any contact between your genitals and any part of your partner’s body or vice versa.

Purity and chastity are words often used when talking about moral or religious reasons for abstaining from (saying no to) sexual activity outside of marriage. These words are more about the attitude behind abstinence – the religious virtue that motivates someone to avoid sexual activity before marriage.

But not all people who choose abstinence base that decision on a religious reason. People choose to be abstinent for different reasons. Some people choose to be abstinent on possible fertile days to avoid pregnancy. Some people choose to be abstinent for longer periods of time. For instance, some people choose to be abstinent until they are out of college or until they are in a long-term committed relationship or until they are married. Some people even choose to be abstinent their entire lives.

Anybody can be abstinent. It doesn’t matter how old you are, what gender you are or what your sexual identity is.

Why might someone choose to be abstinent?

Some people are abstinent to avoid pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Abstinence is the only free form of birth control and the only 100% effective way to avoid pregnancy or STDs.
Other people are abstinent because they believe that is the morally correct choice or because it seems best for them. Abstinence makes them feel good about themselves.
Some people are abstinent because they want to build a strong foundation for a relationship in other ways before beginning physical intimacy.

Some important things to consider:

You don’t have to be a virgin to choose abstinence. Many people abstain from sexual activity at different times in their lives for different reasons.
You don’t have to be religious to choose abstinence. Again, people from different backgrounds and belief systems abstain from sexual activity for different reasons.
Find a trusted person to talk to. This is a big decision, and you don’t have to make it alone. Find a trusted friend or advisor – maybe a best friend, a parent, a pastor, a teacher, a counselor – and discuss this decision. If you can’t think of anyone off the top of your head or if you still have questions or feel uncertain after talking to your person, we’d be glad to listen and help you sort through your decision.

If you want more information about abstaining from sex or if you want helpful strategies for following through with this choice, we’d be happy to sit down with you and talk with you about this. Call us or stop in today.

And just to let you know, if you set a goal to refrain from sexual activity and you happen to fall short of this goal…good news! Tomorrow is a new day! Don’t give up! We believe in you!

How Can You Tell If Someone Has Had Sex?

Sat, 22 Jul 2017 12:00:00 GMT

Wouldn’t it be convenient if you could tell just by looking at them if someone has had sex before? If you could automatically know how risky sex is with someone just by looking at him or her? But unfortunately, there’s no way of knowing for sure.

People used to think that all women bled the first time they had vaginal intercourse. So the belief was that you could know you were having sex with a virgin if she bled. Though some people still believe this, it isn’t true for all women. Some women don’t bleed the first time they have sexual intercourse. If a woman does bleed, sometimes it’s only a few drops of blood that can be overlooked.

We also know there are other ways of being sexually active aside from sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. So there really is no sure way of knowing if someone has been sexually active. We only have the person’s word.

This is why as awkward as it may be sometimes, it’s so important that you talk to your partner and ask questions about sexual history. It’s also important that you’re completely honest with your partner about your own sexual history. Often this means waiting, getting to know a person, being comfortable enough to talk about sex with them before you jump into a physical sexual relationship with them.

Finally, before beginning a sexual relationship, if either of you have been sexually active (oral, vaginal, anal and even genital to genital contact), it’s important that both of you are screened for STDs (sexually transmitted diseases or infections). Also, that you’re honest with your healthcare provider about your sexual history so that you can learn how to lower your risk for STDs.

If you’re sexually active or are considering becoming sexually active, we want you to have all the information you need to make the best and healthiest choices! We’d love to answer any questions you have about keeping yourself healthy and protected. All of our services are confidential and provided at no cost to you. Call us today to schedule an appointment.

Questions and Answers About DNA Testing For Paternity

Sat, 01 Jul 2017 14:16:00 GMT

Often with an unexpected pregnancy, it becomes important to prove who the father of the baby is. Whether you’re a mom trying to get child support or whether you’re a dad trying to get parental rights, this can be a very stressful situation.

We’re going to look at the most commonly asked questions about DNA testing and proving paternity. Hopefully, having some answers for your questions will ease your mind, reduce your stress and help you develop a plan.

How does a DNA test work?

Every child inherits half their DNA from their mother and half from their father. A DNA test looks for a 50% match between a child and potential parent to prove or disprove the blood relationship.

How accurate is a DNA test?

DNA can determine paternity with 99.99% accuracy.

When can I do a DNA test?

It is possible to do a DNA test before a child is born. The OB/GYN can take a blood sample from the mother and from the possible father any time after the 8th week of pregnancy. This test analyzes the baby’s DNA (which is found in the mother’s blood) and the father’s DNA and looks for the 50% match.

The baby’s DNA can also be tested through an amniocentesis or through Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS). Both amniocentesis and CVS include risks of miscarriage and other side effects, so most medical providers do not perform these tests only to prove paternity. The American Pregnancy Association recommends using the non-invasive testing of the mother’s blood or waiting until after the baby’s birth to do a DNA test.

You can also test the DNA after the baby is born. This is done by collecting DNA from the umbilical cord at the time of delivery. Of course, you can also do a cheek-swab DNA test after the baby is born. This involves swabbing the inside of a baby’s cheek and the potential father’s cheek with a special cotton swab.

How long does it take to get results?

This depends on which lab you use. Some labs can get results in 1-5 business days. Other labs can take 1-2 weeks.

How much does it cost?

Again, this depends on which lab you use. Some DNA labs offer less expensive tests called Curiosity Tests or Peace of Mind tests. These results are not accepted in court so they cannot legally prove paternity. Kits for Curiosity Tests can be ordered online or purchased at a drugstore for as little as $10 – $99. Court-admissible DNA tests can cost anywhere from $400 – $2000, depending on how the test is done and where you get it done.

What’s different about the DNA test allowed as evidence in court?

In order for DNA results to be used in court, you must have documentation and proof that the child, mother, and potential father have all been properly identified (with legal ID), that the DNA has been properly collected and handled and that the person testing is a third-party with no interest in the outcome.

If you think you’ll need the DNA results in court, you probably need to speak with a lawyer before choosing which DNA test to do. A lawyer can give guidance and advice about which lab to use.

If you’re considering a DNA paternity test, we hope this gives you some information you might have been lacking and helps you figure out your next right step. As always, if you just need someone to talk with, our team is here to support you.

Sources: http://scienceline.org/2012/01/how-does-a-paternity-test-work/

Is it Love? Or is it Infatuation?

Sat, 24 Jun 2017 20:32:00 GMT

Have you met someone you really like? Maybe every text message makes you smile. Maybe you can’t wait until the next time you see them. Does the sound of their name give you butterflies? Do you feel like a magnet drawn to this person? Maybe you’re wondering if you’re falling in love.

Is it love? Or is it infatuation? Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference – especially when you’re feeling all the feels. But it is possible to determine if it’s real love or merely infatuation.

Here are five key differences between love and infatuation.

1 - Infatuation happens quickly. Love takes time. That love at first sight feeling is really infatuation. You experience strong feelings of attraction right away – an intense desire to be around the person. Infatuation is an overwhelming feeling of desire and fascination before you really know the person well. On the other hand, love develops gradually. True love takes time. As you slowly open up to each other and discover, layer by layer, who this person really is, you begin to love them.

The thing is – sometimes infatuation is a step towards love. You feel all those intense emotions of infatuation early on, then as you spend more time together and really get to know each other, you truly begin to love them. The key is to slow down and give real love time to grow.

2 - Infatuation is self-centered. Love is other-centered. Infatuation is about what you’re feeling, your emotions, making sure this person is also attracted to you. In infatuation, you may want to satisfy the other person, but it’s really only a means to making sure that person likes you. It’s like you HAVE to have this person, so you’ll do whatever it takes to get them. But it’s really about you satisfying your own desire.

Love, though, is about wanting genuine happiness for the other person. When you really love someone, you want their happiness above your own. Your focus is on meeting the needs of your person.

3 - Infatuation is anxious and irrational. Love is calming. Infatuation is butterflies in your stomach and prickly goosebumps on your skin. Sure, it’s exciting, but it also can make you feel insecure and jealous and a little bit crazy. Love is secure and calming. Love gives you comfort and feelings of steadiness and assurance. Don’t get me wrong – love can be exciting, and it should be; but real love makes you feel peaceful and sure.

4 - Infatuation is reckless. Love is considerate. Infatuation may make you take risks or compromise your moral standards. Infatuation is an urgent feeling and often involves physical affection or sexual intimacy very early on. Infatuation will make you do things you normally wouldn’t just to be with this person or satisfy this person or make this person like you. If your friends are telling you that you’re acting crazy or that you’ve changed, then it’s probably infatuation.

Love is more considerate. When you truly love someone, you are true to yourself and you respect your partner when they are true to themselves. You move more slowly and consider the consequences for every decision.

5 - Infatuation is short-lived. Love is long-lasting. Infatuation is a fire that catches quickly and burns brightly and is all-consuming, but then it burns up and out and leaves nothing. Infatuation captures all your attention for a brief time, but then it’s over. When you’re infatuated, you feel in love this week and out of love next week. As soon as those intense feelings die down, the relationship is over.

Love, however, is deep and stable. Your feelings aren’t blown by the wind. You feel a genuine connection and commitment to your person, and those feelings don’t evaporate quickly. Even if the relationship doesn’t work out, you have deep-seated concern and care for them. This person will be a part of who you are for the rest of your life.

It’s easy to get caught up in all the excitement and emotions of a new relationship. We’ve all been there. But it’s important to take a step back and decide if it’s real love or just infatuation. If you’re not sure, give us a call at either of our Center’s. We’d love to listen and encourage you.

What is Prenatal Testing?

Sat, 27 May 2017 15:52:00 GMT

What is prenatal testing and what are all the tests for?

Your doctor may have mentioned some prenatal testing to you. Maybe you’re confused about whether you need all the tests. Or maybe you’re wondering what all the tests are even looking for.

We know pregnancy can be completely overwhelming – especially if this is your first baby and all of this is brand-new. It’s normal to worry or be nervous about your baby’s health. And it’s normal to feel overcome by all the decisions you have to make. We want to help give you the information you need so you can make decisions knowing the risks and benefits.

So let’s break this down and talk about what prenatal testing is, what tests are involved, what information they give and what the risks may be.

Prenatal tests are medical tests you have during your pregnancy. These tests can give your doctor some clues about your baby’s health.

Ultrasound – This is a noninvasive test that can show your baby’s development. The ultrasound uses sound waves and a computer screen to show pictures of your baby in your womb. An early ultrasound can confirm pregnancy and help determine how many weeks pregnant you are. In later ultrasounds, the sonographer or physician will check to make sure your baby is developing normally through various measurements and organ evaluation, as well as evaluation of your uterus and placenta location.

Cell–free DNA testing – This is also a noninvasive test and done through a simple blood draw. This test screens your baby’s DNA to check for markers for any genetic conditions. Usually, your doctor won’t order this screening unless another test suggests your baby could have a genetic abnormality.

Chorionic villus sampling – (also called CVS) This is a diagnostic test that checks tissue from the placenta to see if your baby has a genetic condition. This test is usually done at 10 – 12 weeks of pregnancy and only if your doctor has a reason to believe your baby has a chromosomal abnormality. Because a needle is introduced into the uterus, there’s a chance of miscarriage with this test. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) reports that 1 in every 100 women who has this test will have a miscarriage.

Quad screening – This is a blood test that measures four substances in your blood (alpha-fetoprotein (AFP), estriol, human chorionic gonadostropin (hCG) and inhibin A). This test is done sometime between weeks 15 and 22. Your doctor uses these results to predict whether your baby is more or less at risk for some birth defects.

Amniocentesis – (also called amnio) In this test, your doctor removes amniotic fluid and tests it to see if your baby has a genetic condition (like Down Syndrome). It’s usually done at 15 – 20 weeks of pregnancy. Like CVS, the amniocentesis is an invasive test and comes with risk of miscarriage. According to the American Pregnancy Association, the risk of miscarriage with an amniocentesis ranges from 1 in 200 to 1 in 400, depending on the timing and how often the facility performs amniocenteses.

Now you might be wondering, since you have to make a decision about all these tests, should you just say yes to everything? Here are some things to consider:

What will you do with the results?

If the results are normal, that might put your mind at ease. But if the results of a screening indicate your baby might have a birth defect, you could be faced with some hard decisions. Do you want to have a more invasive diagnostic test that could put you at risk for a miscarriage? Your doctor may offer the option of an abortion, so you may be faced with that difficult decision.

Of course, knowing your baby could be at risk for some medical problems can also help you prepare in advance for your baby’s care. Some prenatal tests can detect problems that can be treated during pregnancy. Others can let you know of care or treatment your baby will need immediately after birth.

How accurate are the results?

The rate of false-positives or false-negatives varies from test to test. Before you make a decision, ask your doctor how accurate the results are.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the prenatal testing decisions you have to make, we’d encourage you to visit with your doctor and express your concerns. We know that it can be uncomfortable at times asking a lot of questions, but you deserve to get the information you need in order to make an informed decision. If need be, bring your husband, your partner, a good friend or family member with you to your appointment to help you process. Having someone with you may lighten your load and help you to not feel so overwhelmed. And remember, you don’t have to make the decision that day. You have time to determine what’s right for you.

Sources: http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week/in-depth/prenatal-testing/art-20045177?pg=1

Girls and Porn: It Isn’t Just a Guy Thing

Sat, 20 May 2017 12:00:00 GMT

A lot of people assume that looking at porn is a thing that only guys do. But even though men are more likely to look at porn than women, it isn’t just a guy thing.

The Barna Group conducted an extensive survey in 2014 and found that 76% of 18-30 year-old women view porn at least once a month and 21% of 18-30 year-old women say they look at porn at least several times a week.

But is porn a harmless habit?

According to one study , prolonged exposure to pornography leads to:

Reduced trust between intimate couples
Belief that everyone is promiscuous
Belief that abstinence is unhealthy
Cynicism about love

We recently wrote about some of the other negative effects porn can have on you and your relationships.

Pornography can also be dangerous for young women because of our tendency to compare ourselves to what we see online. According to a 2016 article in The New York Times, alarming numbers of teenage girls are asking their doctors to perform cosmetic surgery on their genitals. Most doctors believe girls are requesting this surgery because it is so easy to go online and look up pornographic pictures, then compare ourselves to those photographs. But those pictures are almost always airbrushed and don’t show the realistic images of all different shapes and sizes and colors. Because porn isn’t real life.

You deserve to have a healthy, positive view of yourself. You also deserve to have healthy relationships, now and in the future. We’re designed for connection with people, and porn is a substitute for those real, healthy relationships.

If you’re struggling with an addiction to pornography, we want to help you be free from it. We’ll listen and connect you to the resources you need. Call us and set up an appointment today.

I Have a Painful Bump Down There. Should I Worry?

Sun, 30 Apr 2017 13:40:00 GMT

Maybe you’ve noticed a painful bump down there, in or around your vagina. It’s perfectly normal to be a little bit worried or concerned. But try not to panic or jump to the worst possible conclusion. There are a lot of causes for painful bumps or sores on a woman’s genitals. And most of the causes are not contagious, life-threatening or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

So what are the most common causes of painful bumps in the vaginal area?

Cysts. Cysts can happen anywhere on the body where fluid, air, or anything else gets trapped inside skin tissue. If these cysts begin to hurt, the skin may have gotten an infection. Cysts are usually easily treated by your doctor.

In-grown hair. If you ever shave or wax your bikini area, you may have developed an in-grown hair or blocked hair follicle. These can become red and itchy and painful.

Clogged sweat glands. You have sweat glands all over our body, and any of them can become clogged. This is true of the sweat glands in and around the genitals.

Skin tags. Irregular fleshy growths can appear in the vaginal area. These growths are harmless.

If you have had sex, your painful bump could be a symptom of an STD. Human papillomavirus (HPV), herpes, syphilis, and molluscum contagiosum are all sexually transmitted infections that can cause bumps on the vaginal area. If you have sex outside of a mutually monogamous relationship (you both only ever have sex with each other), you are at risk for an STD. Your doctor can determine if your bump is the result of an STD and direct you to the proper treatment.

Finally, in rare instances, cancer can also cause bumps or lumps in the vaginal area. But this is the least likely possible explanation. Vaginal cancers are very rare and almost always have other symptoms besides painful bumps.

No matter what you think the bump could be, you should see your doctor. Most likely, your bump will be no big deal and a visit with the doctor will put your mind at ease. And if you do need some sort of treatment, the doctor can talk you through your options.

If you are concerned about a painful bump or any other abnormal symptom, we are here to listen and refer you to someone who can help. If you have had sex and are worried about STDs, we can offer STD testing at no cost to you. Call us today to set up an appointment. We care about you and want to help you be your healthiest.

I Think My Teenager is Having Sex. What Do I Do?

Sat, 15 Apr 2017 22:51:00 GMT

First, let’s take a breath. It’s understandable that you’re freaking out a bit. But let’s take a step back.

Why do you think your teenager is having sex? Have you found condoms in your child’s room? Did your daughter ask to be put on birth control? Have you seen your child making out with a boyfriend or girlfriend? Is your teenager asking questions about sex?

After you calmly consider what evidence or circumstances lead you to believe your teenager could be sexually active, it’s time to plan out a conversation. Practice in front of the mirror if you need to, but your child needs to know you can handle whatever information unfolds in the conversation.

We think it’s good to keep these goals in mind as you talk with your teenager.

We want our teenagers to be safe and healthy. So talk about how we protect ourselves from STDs and unintended pregnancies. The only way to avoid contracting an STD is to be in a mutually monogamous relationship with another person who does not have an STD. That means both of you are only having any form of sex (vaginal, oral, anal, or genital contact) with each other and neither of you had a STD when you began having sex. And the only way to 100% avoid pregnancy is to not have vaginal sex at all. Calmly explaining that you want your teen to be safe and healthy goes a lot farther than simply listing rules or losing your cool.

We want our teenagers to have healthy relationships. Help your teen know what a healthy relationship looks like . Gently ask questions in a non-judgmental way to discover if your teenager has been pressured into having sex or if his or her relationship is rooted in respect, trust and love.

We want to maintain a loving relationship with our teenager. If there’s anything we’ve learned along the way, it’s that teens have a will and mind of their own. We cannot control them. We can, however, control our own reactions and responses. To be loving, you don’t have to approve of your teenager’s decisions. But it is important to assure and reassure them that your love is unconditional and that you value him or her, no matter what.

Keeping these goals in mind as you have a conversation (not a lecture) with your teen will help steer the discussion away from shaming. You can’t force your child or shame your child into making the decisions you think are best. But you can lovingly ask questions, listen to answers and help your teenager discover which choices will most likely lead to safe, healthy relationships.

Please remember we’re here to help. If your teenager is sexually active, we offer confidential STD and pregnancy tests at no cost to you. We can also help your child navigate relationship decisions.

Thrive – A Beautiful Reminder We All Need To Hear

Sat, 01 Apr 2017 18:40:00 GMT

A beautiful reminder we all need to hear… from the heart of this year’s (2017) banquet speaker, Melinda Clark.

She’s only three. She twirls in her new dress and looks up, looks for approval. “Am I cute?” I smile. And choose my words carefully. “I love to watch you twirl. You have so much energy. And your smile is wonderful. You are amazing.”

She’s sixteen. She doesn’t twirl. She fidgets with her scarf, trying to make it fall just so. She pulls her sweater down, hoping to readjust the shape. She flicks at her makeup. “Do I look okay?” I smile. And still choose my words carefully. “I love the way your eyes sparkle. Your smile is contagious. You are amazing.”

My heart sighs for the weight they already carry. Wondering if the way they look is good enough. The weight of wondering if they’re *enough* for everyone around them. That nameless, faceless “everyone” that has such expectations for girls growing up in today’s world. They already feel the need to know if others approve. If they’ve passed the test.

So I affirm that they are more. More than the sum of their parts. More than what shows up on the outside. More than what they accomplish. More than what they can produce. More than what “everyone” is wearing today. More than whether or not guys’ eyes light up and linger. Everything that matters most about them shows up in the ways their eyes dance, their smiles dance, their feet hop. They matter simply because they do.

I want them to know this, for their hearts to be convinced of their incredible beauty. Because I also know that one third of girls are in an abusive relationship during high school. And that almost ten percent of girls said that the first time they had sex, they “didn’t want it to happen.” I know that many girls keep having sex, not because they want it, but because they think that “at least for that moment, I matter to someone.” And if two lines show up on a pregnancy test, that positive result is the least positive thing that has ever happened to them because they simply do not know how to handle an event that they think will reduce them to nothing more than a statistic.

So I want these girls, and every girl in Collage’s communities, to know that they are more. They are more than just the next sexual partner. More than a set of reproductive organs waiting for a guy to take notice. That they are worthy of a relationship where their boundaries are respected. Where their values are affirmed. Where their stories matter. Their stories deserve to be written. They are a glorious, breath-taking jumble of dreams, skills, memories, relationships, hopes, strengths, fears, and everything that makes them unique. And incredibly valuable. They have the right to choose when and with whom to have sex. And they are wise to put off having sex, no matter what anyone else tells them. And I want you–their neighbors, teachers, friends, mentors, parents, and grandparents–to have words to speak that will fill up empty places and fill them so full that they can’t help but thrive. I want you to see how essential you are to the young women in your life so that you step into the places that will otherwise feel less than full.

Girls all around us need to know this. And if you are the one who needs to hear it, hear me say it soft and firm, “You are amazing.”

What’s the Big Deal About Porn?

Sat, 18 Mar 2017 12:00:00 GMT

It seems like everyone looks at porn, especially now that the Internet makes it so easily available. Some surveys show that around 70% of men and 30% of women regularly look at pornography.

So you might be wondering what the big deal is. If so many people are viewing porn, what could be wrong with it?

Here are 5 things to consider before you watch porn.

1 - Watching porn has similar effects on your brain as using drugs.

When you watch porn, your brain releases surges of dopamine, a thrilling feel-good chemical. Repeated surges of dopamine can desensitize your brain to the feel-good effect, so you need more stimulus for the same good feeling. This is why drug addicts need bigger “hits” for the same effect. The same is true for pornography – you gradually need more porn, or more graphic porn, for the same feelings of excitement and thrill.

A 2014 Cambridge University study revealed similarities in the brains of people addicted to pornography and people addicted to alcohol. Brain scans showed that a porn addict’s brain reacts the same when presented with a pornographic image as an alcoholic’s brain does when presented with an image of alcohol.

2 - Porn makes you lonely and more likely to have psychological issues.

Most people who regularly look at pornography are not proud of it and don’t tell everyone about the habit. Studies show that people who hide distressing or shameful things about themselves (self-concealment) are at higher risk for depression, loneliness, anxiety, and even suicide. For people who are looking at porn a lot, these feelings can also be combined with body image issues, a poor self-image, and insecurity.

3 - Porn can hurt your partner.

People who use porn even casually admit that they become less attracted to their partners. And as porn use increases, so does the dissatisfaction with a partner’s looks, sexual performance, and willingness to try new sexual acts. Women whose male partners view pornography report a feeling that they can never measure up to the partner’s expectations or desires. Women often also report feelings of betrayal and mistrust when they learn that their partner has been viewing porn.

4 - Excessive use of porn can cause sexual dysfunction.

Men who view a lot of pornography experience erectile dysfunction, delayed orgasm, inability to reach orgasm, and even a loss of pleasure in general. Mental health experts believe that as porn use increases, people experience emotional and relational disconnections when it comes to sex. Sex becomes something you do alone rather than something that requires intimacy and connection in a relationship.

5 - Pornography presents a false view of sexuality.

Porn isn’t real. It offers an unreal view of relationships and sex. Some porn normalizes dangerous sexual behaviors – like sex with strangers or group sex. Some porn normalizes degrading, harmful sexual behaviors – like rape or brutal anal sex or women being humiliated. And it’s not only about the unhealthy things that are shown, it’s also about the healthy things that aren’t shown – things like cuddling, kissing, and partners being responsive to each other’s needs and preferences.

We’re made for relationships and connection with other people. Pornography allows people to separate sexual satisfaction from emotional intimacy. It rewires our brains to associate sexual pleasure with images that aren’t real and makes it harder for us to experience pleasure and satisfaction with a real, live partner.

We want to help you thrive in a healthy relationship. If you’re struggling with a pornography addiction, we’re here to listen and help you. If your partner is addicted to porn, we’re here for you too.

If I Have Oral Sex, Will I Still be a Virgin?

Sat, 25 Feb 2017 15:49:00 GMT

Maybe you’re looking for this answer because some part of you sincerely wants to remain a virgin, but you’re really into the person you’re dating, so you’re wondering how far you can go. Or maybe you’re feeling pressured to have some sort of sex, but you still want to technically be a virgin, so you’re looking for compromise. Or maybe you’ve already had oral sex and you’re worried that you aren’t still a virgin.

Whatever your reason for asking this question, we want to help you figure out the answer and maybe even help you make some decisions going forward.

First, let’s define some terms and answer some questions so we can make sure we’re on the same page.

What is oral sex?

Oral sex is the contact of one person’s mouth or tongue with the genitals of another person.

Is oral sex really sex? If I have it, does it count when it comes to losing my virginity?

Usually, when people talk about virginity, they’re only talking about one kind of sex – vaginal intercourse between a man and a woman. But we know there are all sorts of ways to be sexually active that don’t fit that exact description. It seems like girls get judged for being a virgin and boys get judged for not being a virgin. It can be easy to get caught up in labels and technicalities, but those labels don’t tell us the more important things about your situation. Things like – are you in a safe relationship with someone who cares about you? Are you putting yourself at risk for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)?

So the better question may be – Do you think oral sex is safer than vaginal sex?

In a national survey done by the Kaiser Foundation, 26% of sexually active teens between the ages of 15 and 17 believed that they can’t get HIV by having oral sex. Unfortunately, this is not true.

What sexually transmitted diseases/infections could you get from oral sex?

The answer – just about all of them. According to the CDC , oral sex can spread syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV, HPV, and herpes.

Though condoms or dental dams may reduce the risk of STDs during oral sex, the best way to protect yourself is to only have sex (of any form including oral) in a mutually monogamous relationship. That’s when you both only ever have any kind of sex with each other, like in marriage.

If you’re thinking about having oral sex with someone, maybe the best question isn’t – Will I still be a virgin? Maybe better questions would be – Why do I want to have oral sex? Am I ready for the emotional commitment that comes with any kind of sexual activity? Is this a safe relationship? Am I putting myself at risk for an STD?

If you’ve had oral sex and think you may be at risk for an STD, feel free to call us for confidential testing at no cost to you.

If you need someone to talk to about making decisions, we’re here to help you. All of our services are confidential and don’t cost you any money. We can sure help you make healthy, informed choices.

I Might be Having a Miscarriage. What do I do?

Sat, 18 Feb 2017 12:00:00 GMT

Thinking about a miscarriage can be very scary and emotionally overwhelming. It’s a really common concern for pregnant women. Maybe that’s because miscarriage (losing a baby before 20 weeks gestation) isn’t uncommon. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists , 15 – 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. But that means 75 – 80% of pregnancies do not end in miscarriage.

First, let’s talk about why you’re worried about a miscarriage.

Are you having symptoms?

The main symptoms of a miscarriage are abdominal pain, cramping and vaginal bleeding. Maybe you’re having these symptoms and you’re afraid that you’re having a miscarriage. Though cramping and bleeding are the main symptoms of a miscarriage, women also sometimes have spotting, bleeding or cramping early in pregnancy because of other reasons. And these women don’t always lose the baby.

Of course, it’s normal to be frightened or worried if you start bleeding or have pain. But take a breath, and let’s remember that it isn’t always a miscarriage.

It’s important to call your doctor right away so you can find out for sure what is happening.

What will your doctor do?

Your healthcare provider will probably take some blood and check the level of hCG (pregnancy hormone). If you’re in the first six weeks of pregnancy, your doctor may just want to wait and see what happens. You might have a vaginal exam to see if your cervix is thinned or dilated, which could be a sign that your body is miscarrying. Finally, your doctor may do an ultrasound to determine if you have a viable pregnancy, meaning if the pregnancy is located in the uterus and your baby’s heartbeat can be seen.

What if your doctor says you’re having a miscarriage? What happens then?

Most of the time, you don’t need any sort of treatment or medical intervention. Unfortunately, once a miscarriage has started, there isn’t anything you can do to stop it. Your doctor will probably send you home to rest. It’s probably a good idea to have someone stay with you (or at the very least, come check on you). Maybe your partner, a close friend or parent will be there to give you emotional support and to keep an eye on your symptoms.

Occasionally, there could be some complications with a miscarriage. So if you have any of these symptoms, it’s important to call your doctor right away or go to the emergency room:

bleeding that soaks more than one maxi pad in an hour
feeling faint or dizzy
having an unusually fast heart rate
having a lot of pain on one side of your belly or your pelvis
having a fever and discharge that smells really bad

Why would a miscarriage happen?

When something difficult happens, we naturally want to know the why behind it. However, in the case of miscarriage, it’s rare for a doctor to be able to discover the exact cause.

There are times when the developing fetus has a chromosomal abnormality that occurs randomly and was not inherited from the parents. There’s nothing you did to cause it and there’s nothing you could do to stop it.

According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), a mother’s health condition occasionally contributes to the risk – diabetes, high blood pressure, thyroid disease, uterus or cervical abnormalities, immune disorders, abnormal hormone levels, obesity or an infection. So it’s important to talk to your doctor about any of these concerns.

Does this mean I’m more likely to have another miscarriage?

Almost always, a miscarriage is a one-time event. According to the NIH, only about 1% of women have repeat miscarriages or more than one in a row.

Emotional Support

Losing a baby to miscarriage, even in the very early weeks of pregnancy, is still a significant loss. It’s so important that you give yourself permission to grieve and to take as much time as you need. There isn’t a timetable. If you need support or someone to listen as you talk through your emotions, our staff is here for you. Please feel free to call us in Kearney, (308) 234-9880 or in Grand Island, (308) 675-2217.

Is it Rape?

Sat, 28 Jan 2017 15:32:00 GMT

Is it rape?

First off, if you’re even asking this question…if you’re wondering whether a sexual encounter is rape or not, we’re so sorry. Maybe you’re looking for answers for yourself, a friend or a family member, whatever the case, we want you to know that you’re not alone. If you have questions about what “counts” as rape, we hope this blog will be helpful.

From 2006 to 2010, 2 of every 3 rape or sexual assault incidents weren’t reported to the police. That means about 65% of rape victims don’t report what has happened to them . And 6% of those victims don’t report because they believe their assault isn’t important enough to be reported. Additionally, 13% believe the police can’t or won’t help.

These statistics tell us that if you’re confused about whether what has happened is rape or not, or if you haven’t reported it or if you aren’t sure the police could help, you aren’t alone.

So let’s talk about what rape is.

In Nebraska, sexual assault is defined as

sexual penetration without the consent of the victim or
when the offender knows or should know the victim is incapable of resisting or
when the offender is 19 or older and the victim is younger than 16

This means it’s rape if you don’t consent to the sexual activity. If you don’t give permission for someone to have sex with you or to put any part of his body in you, it is – by law – considered sexual assault.

It IS rape

if you were asleep
if you were threatened
if you were incapacitated by drugs or alcohol
if you were unconscious
if you were forced
if you are under the age of consent (16 in Nebraska)
if you changed your mind or if your no was ignored

Even if

you know the person or are in a relationship with the person
you have already had sex with that person on another occasion
you were fooling around but then you changed your mind
you were drunk 71 or high or dressed provocatively
the person took you to dinner or bought you gifts

If both people don’t willingly agree to sexual activity, it’s sexual assault or rape.

If you read this and realize you have been raped, you’re not alone. Sadly, 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men are raped at some time in their lives. And for women, only 13.8% of rapes are done by strangers. Most offenders are the intimate partners of the victims – husbands or boyfriends.

Anyone of any gender, age, sexuality, social class or level of ability can be raped. There’s no excuse for rape, and it’s never the victim’s fault. If you’ve been raped, we want you to know, it’s not your fault. You did not ask to be assaulted.

We know it may be difficult to talk about but if you have questions on what to do next or need someone to talk to, we’re here to help. Feel free to call us in Kearney, (308) 234-9880 or in Grand Island, (308) 675-2217. If you do find yourself in a situation where you have been sexually assaulted contact Campus Police,Kearney Police or the Grand Island Police right away. Also, the Family Advocacy Network in Kearney and the Willow Rising in Grand Island are great resources if you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault.

New Beginnings: 5 Resolutions for the New Year

Sat, 31 Dec 2016 12:00:00 GMT

The new year is often a time of making vague resolutions. But few of us turn those vague resolutions into specific action plans.

As you think about finding the right person to date, beginning a new relationship or improving a current relationship, keep these specific tangible resolution actions in mind:

1 - Be the person you want for a partner

Think about all the characteristics you want in a partner – loving, kind, funny, thoughtful, generous, fun, etc. Now try to be all those things. If you become more loving and kind and funny and thoughtful and generous and fun, you will like yourself more. You’ll respect yourself more. You’ll be more comfortable and confident. The more you love yourself, the more likely you’ll be to form strong, healthy relationships with others.

Leave the baggage behind

Often, when we look back, we see only the mistakes we have made. It’s healthy to correct and learn from mistakes, but dwelling on those mistakes or carrying the weight of them with us can cause us to get stuck in negative patterns of behavior. Lugging emotional baggage into a new relationship can sabotage your chances for a healthy, happy relationship. Own mistakes, apologize for them, learn from them and move on. Resolve to have a clean slate, not allowing past mistakes to rule your future.

2 - Find a hobby

And, though we’d like to convince ourselves otherwise, watching Netflix doesn’t count as a hobby. Take a painting class or an exercise class. Go hiking. Learn a new language. Refinish furniture or take up photography. The most interesting people never stop learning and growing. Invest in yourself. You’re worth it!

3 - Give up the hook up

If you’re serious about wanting a healthy, stable relationship, you know the hook up isn’t going to help achieve that goal. One-night stands put you at greater risk for STDs and unexpected pregnancies. And hook ups based only on physical attraction don’t send the message that you’re looking for a real relationship.

4 - Maintain friendships

It’s easy to get so caught up in a dating relationship that we ditch our friends. Even if he’s the one, you still need strong friendships. So make time to nurture and maintain friendships. Having friends is good for your physical health. A study of 222 people in 2015 found that people with smaller social circles are at greater risk for early mortality (death) than even people who drink excessively or suffer from obesity. And having friends is good for your mental health . Friends boost your happiness and reduce your stress. Strong friendships help boost your confidence and increase your sense of belonging and purpose. So don’t get so caught up in a dating relationship that you neglect your friendships. Your life and health depend on it.

By turning those large, vague resolutions into tangible action plans, you may start to see actual changes this year!

How To Have “The Talk” With Your Kids

Sat, 03 Dec 2016 12:00:00 GMT

The Talk. The Birds and the Bees. Talking to kids about sex can be awkward and unpredictable. We may be afraid we’ll say the wrong thing. Or maybe we’re afraid our inner-seventh-grader will start giggling and never stop. It can be one of the most dreaded responsibilities of parents. But talking to our kids about sex can get easier with practice and over time.

Talk early and talk often.

Provide accurate information that’s appropriate for your child’s development and age. For example, when a preschooler is learning body part names, you can use the proper terms, penis and vagina. And when a young child wants to know how babies come out, you can answer simply, through the mommy’s vagina. These early conversations can lay the groundwork for open and honest and less awkward conversations about sex.

Be calm and relaxed.

Even if you have to fake it a little or practice with a friend first. Try to remain unfazed by any questions your child asks. Freaking out or overreacting may prevent your child from coming to you with a question next time. Respecting your child’s curiosity without judgment promotes healthy, open conversations.

Listen. And answer the questions your child is asking.

If your second grader asks what sex means, ask a couple questions and listen to the context of his question before answering. Maybe his teacher told the class to line up by sex. Or when your daughter asks where she came from, she may mean what state was she born in. Make sure you are answering the questions your child is asking and give simple, straightforward answers that don’t overwhelm him or her.

Use the media.

Talk about that magazine cover in the checkout line and the messages it’s promoting. Ask questions about that song you heard on the radio and how it makes your child feel. After the movie, talk about whether it promoted realistic expectations about relationships.

Avoid sexuality conversations that are a list of don’t, don’t, don’t.

Be sure to tell your child what he or she can do to be sexually healthy. Discuss what your child can do to address peer or partner pressure to be sexually active. Discuss ways to know when a person is interested in your child as a person and when someone is only interested in having a sexual partner. Providing your child with a list of do’s is just as important as talking about all the don’ts.

Be positive.

Tell your children the good things about sex and explain why it’s worth waiting for. Help your children know they deserve to have good sex in a healthy relationship.

If you’ve put it off . . .

Maybe your child is already a teenager and you suspect he or she is sexually active. It isn’t too late. It’s important to have direct, open, and non-judgmental conversations with your child. Talk honestly about the legitimate and natural desires for sex and about the incredible responsibilities of sex. Listen and assure your child of your unconditional love. Avoid getting into a situation where your child’s fear of disappointing you prevents him or her from getting the help he or she needs.

If you have questions or need resources to help provide accurate information to your child, we are here to help. Please give us a call at (308) 234-9880 in Kearney or (308) 675-2217 in Grand Island.

How to Have “The Talk” With Your Parents

Mon, 07 Nov 2016 13:37:00 GMT

It might be uncomfortable to talk to your parent(s) about sex, but research shows that teens who talk to their parents about sex are less likely to become pregnant or contract an STD. With that in mind, you still may wonder how do you even start a conversation about sex?

Consider these tips for having “The Talk” with your parents:

Know what you want out of the conversation. Do you want advice about a specific situation? Do you want support and reassurance? Do you want medical information? Do you want some answers for questions you have about birth control? Ask specifically for what you want.

Choose a time when you can be relaxed and not feel hurried.

Find a place that offers some privacy and minimizes distractions.

Start with an icebreaker.
Ask an easy question first, then work your way up to the more awkward things – “When did you start dating?”
Mention a scene from a movie or a magazine article – “In a movie I saw last week, this character talked about ____, what does that mean?”
Tell about something your health teacher or the school nurse taught your class – “Our school nurse said we could ask her questions, but I’m too embarrassed. Can I ask you?”

Admit you are uncomfortable – “I’m really nervous about this, but I want to talk to you.”

Write down any questions you have before you talk. Maybe handing your parent(s) an index card with a question will be less intimidating for you. At the very least, if your nervous brain goes completely blank, you’ll have notes to help you know what to say.

End by asking if you can talk more later or ask more questions as they come up. “The Talk” doesn’t have to be a one-time deal. It can be an ongoing, open conversation that will feel a bit less weird each time. And more times than not, your parent(s) will see this as a step of maturity.

What if you really can’t talk to your parents about sex? The Collage team is here to help answer any questions you have and offer support and encouragement. Please give us a call at (308) 234-9880 in Kearney or (308) 675-2217 in Grand Island.

Is Sexting Really That Big of a Deal?

Sat, 15 Oct 2016 12:00:00 GMT

If you haven’t done it, you probably know someone who has. Sexting, or sending suggestive, nude or sexually explicit photos to someone via phone or computer isn’t just a teen issue. And while you might think it’s harmless, that photo snapped and sent in a matter of seconds can have life-long consequences. We’re not trying to scare you. Well, maybe just a little, because we care about you and your future.

So, before you push the button, here are some things you might want to think about.

What are the consequences if the photo gets shared beyond the person you’re sending it to? Seriously? Obviously you think you can trust that person, or you wouldn’t be sending it. But things change and that photo will last forever. What happens when you have a fight, or break up? Take a second and picture who they might send it too. How does that make you feel? And what will they do with it? Pass it on to more friends, post it to a website? Once you hit send you’ve lost all control of where that pic will end up. Are you ready for your parents, friends and teachers to see it? What about your younger brothers or sisters?

Think that would never happen? Maybe. But check out this teen’s story about how sexting can go wrong quickly. And the consequences can go beyond just embarrassment. What happens when the pic shows up on the screen of a college admissions counselor? Will it keep you out of the college you want to attend? Or, maybe it shows up in a background check during an interview process for a new job. Hopefully, these things never happen. But they could. Is it worth the risk?

If the potential for embarrassment and the possible risks to your career aren’t enough to convince you that sexting isn’t the best idea, you may also want to consider the legal consequences. These differ from state-to-state and country-to-country, but in some places if either the sender or the receiver of the pic is under 18 you can be prosecuted for child pornography. That means you would end up on a sex offender registry and that follows you for your entire life because you have to register every time you move and the records are public. We’re sure most people don’t think about that before snapping a nude and texting it, but they should if either person is underage, and especially if one is over 18. It’s just not worth it for a few seconds of thrills.

To find out more about the specific laws in Nebraska, you can visit this legal site .

It’s not that we want to keep you from having fun, it’s just that we care about you and don’t want to see a bad decision mess up your life. Most people don’t consider the risks involved before sexting and we want you to make informed decisions when it comes to anything involving sex.

If you have questions, or want to talk to someone about sexting, our staff is here to help. Please give us a call at (308) 234-9880 in Kearney or (308) 675-2217 in Grand Island.

5 Ways to Increase Intimacy that Don’t Involve Sex

Sat, 17 Sep 2016 12:00:00 GMT

If you’re in a romantic relationship, one of the things you probably desire is to feel closer to that person. You want to get to know them, and feel like they want to get to know you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a new relationship, or one that you’ve been in for years. Emotional intimacy is one of the most important aspects of any romantic relationship and can be one of the most challenging things to develop and maintain. Sure, sex can be a way to experience intimacy, but sex and intimacy are two different things. Emotional intimacy is one of the most important factors for experiencing long-term relationship success.

If you’re interested in improving your emotional connection, here are 5 things you can do that don’t involve sex.

5 Ways to Increase Intimacy that Don’t Involve Sex

1 - Disconnect to Connect

If you want to build intimacy with your partner, one of the best ways to do so is to disconnect. Not from them, but from technology. We’re not saying move into the mountains where there’s no cell service or Wi-Fi. We’re talking about unplugging for a few hours when you are together. It’s hard to get to know someone and feel connected at a deeper level when you’re staring at a phone screen every few minutes. So maybe you should put the phone away, or at least turn off notifications when you are together. That will force you to fill the time with tip number 2.

2 - Talk the Talk

It may sound cliché, and it’s the basis for almost every relationship advice book ever written, but communication really is the key to building intimacy. Sometimes it is just talking about what you like and dislike, or how your day went. Sometimes it’s talking about serious subjects like death, hope, goals and dreams. Sometimes it’s discussing the status of the relationship, clarifying expectations and setting boundaries so you’re both on the same page. One of the signs of a healthy relationship is the ability to set for hours just talking.

3 - Walk the Walk

Take a hike or go for a walk. Skip the Netflix and chill and spend some time planning dates that give you a chance to get to know the other person. Even group dates can give you a chance to see the person in a new light. And spending time with family will allow you some insights into your partner’s background and some of their quirks.

4 - Be Intentional

Each of the three tips above are great, but they won’t help if you don’t do them. So be intentional because they won’t happen on their own until they become habits. As you plan out your week, plan intentional times and activities geared towards increasing intimacy with your partner. Don’t let other things squeeze these out. Make them a priority.

5 - Evaluate

We know, this doesn’t sound very romantic, but romance doesn’t have to be spur-of-the-moment and spontaneous. You don’t have to do some formal evaluation giving each aspect of your relationship a rating. But every couple weeks or once a month, it’s good to evaluate how the relationship is going. Are you growing closer because you’ve intentionally invested time and effort in getting to know your partner? Or, are you drifting apart because you’re busy or haven’t been intentional? Taking the temperature every few weeks allows you to make adjustments and keep you both feeling close and connected, increasing the level of intimacy you feel.

While there are no guarantees with any relationship, there are things you can do to increase intimacy and prepare you for the long-term success you want in your relationship. If you have questions or want to talk to someone, the Collage staff is here to listen and share our insights. We’d also love to hear how you have been able to increase intimacy in your relationships. Share your tips or ask a question in the comments below.

Can You Tell if Someone has a STD?

Sat, 23 Jul 2016 12:00:00 GMT

It’s a question we get a lot when we talk with clients or students. They’re aware of some of the dangers of STDs and just don’t have all the information they need to make informed decisions. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) keeps statistics on STDs in the United States. They’ve reported that cases of STDs are on the rise, some at alarming rates . This year there will be 20 million new STD infections in the US, and half of those will happen to 15-24 year olds. Other reports indicate that 1-in-2 sexually active young people will get a STD by the age of 25 . It’s no wonder with those statistics that people want to know how they can tell if someone has a STD.

Can you tell if someone has a STD by looking?

Sometimes, but not usually. Some STDs cause sores, blisters or bumps on or around the genitals. When these sores are present, the disease can spread pretty easily. So if you see something unusual, don’t have sexual contact with that person, (oral, vaginal or anal) even if they try to explain them away as something like acne. Better safe than sorry. In other cases, there may be puss or a discharge from the vagina or penis that you may or may not see. Often, STDs don’t have any visual symptoms that can be identified by the person who has the infection, let alone someone else. This doesn’t mean you can’t get infected from them. It just means that there isn’t a way to be sure by looking.

So what are some of the symptoms of STDs?

As we said, most of the time there may not be any symptoms. When there are symptoms, they can vary depending on which STD is present. Some of the more common symptoms are:

abnormal discharge from the penis or vagina
painful urination
pain during sexual intercourse
bleeding between periods for women
itching or irritation inside penis
painful, swollen testicles

What are the risks of having a STD and not knowing it?

First, if you have a STD and don’t know it, you can’t be treated. This accounts for the increased number of STD cases each year. Many people are spreading STDs and don’t know it. Second, each STD has its own set of risks. For example, if Chlamydia, one of the most common STDs, is left untreated it can spread to the fallopian tubes and cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) which can cause permanent damage to the reproductive system, infertility and potentially a deadly ectopic pregnancy. For men, it can also potentially cause infertility. Gonorrhea can have some of the same long-term risks as Chlamydia if not treated and it may also increase your chances of getting or giving HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. So even though you may not even know you have a STD, you may be at risk for some serious side effects if left undiagnosed or untreated.

Get tested.

If you’ve had sex (including oral) and think you might have caught a STD, getting tested is the only way to know for sure. Many STDs are curable with antibiotics. Others are treatable, but not curable. That means there are treatments that manage the symptoms, but will not cure the infection. Finally, there are some that are life threatening. At Collage we currently offer testing and treatment for Chlamydia and Gonorrhea, two of the most common STDs in our community, at no cost to our clients. If you think you might have a STD we encourage you to schedule an appointment at either our Grand Island or Kearny offices and find out for sure. Here’s a bit of what you can expect during a STD testing appointment at Collage.

How can you avoid getting a STD?

While condoms offer some protection, they often provide a false sense of security. First, they don’t cover the area around the genitals and this can allow a STD to spread through contact. Second, they are often not used properly which allows for the STD to be passed from one person to another. The CDC says that the most reliable way to avoid infection is to not have sex. If you choose to have sex, doing so in a mutually monogamous long-term relationship, like marriage, is then safest option. For more information on STDs we encourage you to visit the CDC STD page .

Is There a Difference Between STDs and STIs?

Sat, 18 Jun 2016 12:00:00 GMT

Great question. There’s a bit of confusion about these terms and what exactly they mean. We’re here to clear things up (pun intended).

What is a STD?

STD stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease. This term is probably familiar to most people and is the most common term used. It refers to a set of infections that are transmitted through sexual contact (vaginal, oral, or anal) from one person to another. One of the issues with this term is that many people who have been infected don’t develop the symptoms, so in one sense they are infected but it doesn’t develop into a “disease”. This is dangerous, because they can pass the infection on to others without even knowing they are positive. This situation of being infected without symptoms has led to the use of the term STI.

What is a STI?

STI stands for Sexually Transmitted Infection. This term might not be as familiar and is often used in the medical community to try to clarify that all sexually transmitted infections turn into disease. This term is also used because there can be a stigma associated with STDs, and using STI instead may encourage people to get tested and treated.

So…

STD and STI are basically the same thing and the terms that are terms that can be used interchangeably. With both you have a sexually transmitted infection. You just may not be having symptoms if it’s labeled as a STI. At Collage we chose to use the term STD because it’s the most recognized and widely used way to refer to the collection of infections passed through sexual contact.

If you think you or a partner might have a STD, we offer testing and treatment for both Chlamydia and Gonorrhea at no charge. We’d love to schedule an appointment for you at either our Kearney or Grand Island location. Feel free to give us a call.

For more info on STDs and some of the myths people falsely believe, you might find this blog post helpful.

What is the most common STD?

Sat, 21 May 2016 10:00:00 GMT

Chlamydia is the most commonly reported STD in the US and it affects both women and men. When left untreated it can cause permanent damage to both female and male reproductive systems.

What are the Symptoms of Chlamydia?

One of the most dangerous aspects of Chlamydia is that most of the people who have it don’t show any symptoms. Because of this, they often spread the disease without even knowing it. If symptoms do occur, it may be several weeks after sex. Symptoms for women may include abnormal vaginal discharge or a burning sensation when urinating. For men, they can be a discharge from the penis, burning when urinating and potentially swelling in the testicles.

Who has Chlamydia?

A lot of people. In fact, over 1.4 million cases are reported in the US each year.

How do you get Chlamydia?

Sex. It’s pretty straight forward. Vaginal, oral or anal sex with someone who has it is how it spreads. Chlamydia is a bacterial disease that lives in the tissues that line the opening of your body – think vagina, urethra, rectum and throat. When these tissues come together, the disease can spread.

Are you at risk?

If you’re having vaginal, oral or anal sex – yes. And young people are at a higher risk.

How can I know if I have Chlamydia?

Again, most people don’t have any symptoms, so the only sure way to know is to get tested. A simple urine test will confirm if you have the disease.

Is there a treatment for Chlamydia?

There is. Chlamydia can be cured with antibiotics which will stop the infection. Sometimes this is a one dose prescription, other times it is multiple doses. When prescribed, all medication should be taken to stop the infection.

What happens if I don’t get treated?

Left untreated, Chlamydia can have serious and dangerous consequences. For women it can lead to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID), an infection in parts of the reproductive system. This can cause abdominal and pelvic pain and potentially an inability to get pregnant or a dangerous ectopic pregnancy. For men, it can cause an infection in the tube that carries sperm from the testicles, causing pain and fever. It has also caused infertility in men, though this is not common.

Chlamydia during pregnancy can also be passed to the baby during delivery. This often results in eye infections or pneumonia for the baby. It can make it more likely you will have an early delivery.

How do you keep from getting Chlamydia?

The only 100% effective way to avoid Chlamydia is not having sexual contact. The second most effective way is to have a mutually monogamous long-term relationship, where both partners are Chlamydia free entering the relationship.

If you’re concerned that you may have Chlamydia or another STD, getting tested is important. In this situation, the more you know the better. Collage provides STD Testing and Treatment for both Chlamydia and Gonorrhea at no cost. If you would like to schedule an appointment you can use our contact form of give us a call to set up a time. We’ve even created a video from our nurse to let you know exactly what to expect when you come in for test.

3 Questions About Your Pregnancy a Collage Ultrasound Can Answer

Wed, 23 Mar 2016 16:56:00 GMT

When you first think you might be pregnant, whether intentionally or unexpectedly, questions start to swirl. Some may be about how and when it happened; some about what you’re going to do; some about whether the test (or tests) you took are even accurate. After the initial shock wears off, you may have other questions about the pregnancy and your health.

Some of those questions we can answer with a limited OB ultrasound at Collage. The information an ultrasound can provide will help you understand your situation by providing much more information about your potential pregnancy than a pregnancy test. It will also allow you to have the information you need to make a more informed decision about your pregnancy.

With a limited OB ultrasound from Collage we will be able to answer 3 important questions about your pregnancy.

3 Questions an Ultrasound Can Answer

1 - Are you really pregnant?

While pregnancy tests are very reliable, there are other factors that can affect the results of the test. An ultrasound will determine for sure if you are really pregnant.

2 - If you are pregnant, is the pregnancy viable?

An ultrasound exam can determine if the baby is located in the uterus and if there is a heartbeat. It is possible, though rare, to have a pregnancy occur outside the uterus. This medical condition is called an ectopic pregnancy and requires immediate medical attention. You can read more about ectopic pregnancies and the medical attention they need here .

3 - What is the baby’s age?

Knowing how far along you are in your pregnancy is important in determining your pregnancy plans. An ultrasound is a much more accurate way of determining the age of the baby than calculating it from the date of your last period. Often times the age can be off significantly if your periods aren’t consistent or if the last period wasn’t normal. An ultrasound will measure the baby and the gestational sac, providing more accurate information about the age. This is important information to have whether you are considering carrying the baby to term or having an abortion .

Our ultrasound techs look for these things specifically during your limited OB ultrasound appointment. They are not looking to determine the sex of the baby or other medical conditions. This is not meant to be a full medical evaluation, but a service to help you better understand your situation. After your appointment we also send your ultrasound to the doctor who oversees our medical services for review. If the doctor has any concerns they will notify us and we will contact you with those results.

At Collage, your health and well-being are our primary concern. We hope that our complimentary limited OB ultrasounds provide the information you need to make informed decisions about your health and your pregnancy. If you think you might be pregnant and would like to schedule an appointment, please contact us.

The Kintsugi of Collage

Tue, 23 Feb 2016 13:46:00 GMT

Kintsugi is the ancient Japanese art of repairing broken ceramics with lacquer and gold dust. Kintsugi literally means golden joinery. It comes from the idea that broken pieces shouldn’t be simply tossed out. It recognizes that there’s still value in the brokenness and with great care, the shattered pieces can be put back together to create something even more valuable. Something that’s more beautiful for having been broken.

It’s a practice and perspective at the heart of the Collage team. We know that life rarely goes as expected. That each of us has areas in life where we’ve been broken, where our plans seem shattered and beyond repair. Sometimes that comes as a result of an unexpected pregnancy, or a sexual health issue. At other times, it’s the brokenness felt over a past abortion decision.

Because each of us at Collage has faced brokenness, we know it’s possible to pick up those pieces. We know it’s worth putting those shattered pieces back together and celebrating the beauty.

The story goes that the practice of Kintsugi came about when a Japanese shogun broke his favorite tea bowl. He sent it away for repair and it came back with metal staples holding the ceramic pieces together. Was it together? Well technically. But this wasn’t acceptable for the shogun, who requested that it be repaired again. This time great care was taken and it was repaired with lacquer and gold. This process didn’t disguise the damage but made something beautiful out of it.

Just trying to put the pieces back together wasn’t enough. It takes someone who understands not only the beauty of the original piece but someone who can look at the brokenness and see the beauty yet to be discovered.

At Collage, we recognize the beauty and value of each and every one of us, even in our brokenness. We love to help our clients see that beauty and begin to put the pieces back together with hope and confidence. We specialize in our own version of Kintsugi – of creating beauty from the unexpected.

If you need someone to talk to or want to schedule an appointment for a pregnancy or STD test, please give us a call, we’d love to help.

Is a Pregnancy App Enough?

Mon, 08 Feb 2016 17:09:00 GMT

There’s an App for That.

In today’s always-connected world, you can do almost everything from your phone, including finding out if your pregnant. That’s right, there’s an app for that. The good news, it doesn’t involve peeing on your phone. Pregnancy Pro from First Response claims to be the first and only Bluetooth wireless enabled pregnancy test.

Taking advantage of the trend towards connected health, the pregnancy app can help guide women through the process of testing and provide not only the result but also additional information based on that result. You’ll be asked to input data, like your last period, age and whether you’re trying to get pregnant. This lets the app help calculate an estimated due date and also tells it whether congratulations are in order should the test come back positive.

It seems much of the information is geared toward women who want to be pregnant, simply instructing women who weren’t trying to seek a doctor’s professional advice.

Is an App Enough?

While we love technology, and can see how this new app will assist women, we also know that taking a pregnancy test can be one of the most nerve racking things you will ever do. We also know that taking a test when you were not expecting to be pregnant and getting a positive result can be overwhelming. There’s not a pregnancy app for that.

When confronted with an unexpected pregnancy, most women need someone to talk to. Someone safe who will listen, someone who will help them process the emotions – fear, guilt, anger, and confusion. Someone who will eventually help them look at all their options and help them determine what is best for them. While a pregnancy app may be good at helping you find out if you’re pregnant, it can’t compete with a living breathing, caring person when it comes to helping women who are facing an unexpected pregnancy.

Appreciating Beauty

Tue, 19 Jan 2016 12:00:00 GMT

Most of us don’t have trouble seeing and appreciating the beauty around us. We find it in sunrises and sunsets, the clouds as the gently blow by, the mountains, or the beach. Nature is full of beauty when we slow down long enough to notice.

And then there is the beauty of the people we encounter every day. Some of that beauty is easy to notice – the cute guy or girl, the model in the ad or the actor on TV. Some of the beauty is subtler and can go unnoticed. The kind heart of the person waiting your table, the smile from the elderly person you let get in front of you in line at the grocery store. It might not demand your attention, but it’s there and when you take time to appreciate it, it can change your day and theirs.

But what about the beauty within you? Yeah, you! Most of us don’t recognize that beauty, let alone take time to appreciate it. We’re more likely to deny it’s there. We refuse to believe it. Beauty, true beauty, is something we think belongs to someone else. And when others see that beauty within us and point it out, we’re not sure what to do. Sometimes we find it hard to believe, sometimes we’re embarrassed, and sometimes we are able to smile and just be thankful.

We love this video by a high school student from Chicago who decided to record her classmates as part of a project where she was filming beauty.

How would you react in this situation?

At Collage, we believe that there is beauty and value in everyone. Often times though, we have a hard time seeing that beauty. Perhaps it’s buried under the rubble of past decisions or circumstances that life has handed us. But no matter how badly we’ve been broken and tarnished, the fact is, beauty remains, waiting to be uncovered. At Collage, we’ve experienced the restoration of beauty in our own lives, and that compels us to help others seek the beauty within them.

If you’re facing the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease, we’d love to help you create beauty from the unexpected.

5 Steps to Change the Story the Voice in Your Head is Telling You

Mon, 04 Jan 2016 15:07:00 GMT

We all have that voice in our head, the one that keeps reminding us that we’re NOT. NOT good enough, NOT smart enough, NOT pretty enough, NOT whatever. That voice, though it sounds like you, isn’t. It’s a voice that has developed over time, made up of phrases others have said, or feelings you have felt. It’s a voice that shapes your day and ultimately shapes your life. It influences your decisions and often leads you in directions you know you don’t really want to go. The good news, you can change the story the voice in your head keeps telling you. It takes some work, it takes some time, but when you change that story, you can change the direction of your life.

5 Steps to Change the Story the Voice in Your Head Is Telling You

1 - Realize when the voice starts talking.

The first step is to realize that there is a voice and that it’s telling you a story. You can recognize when the voice starts talking by the negativity. It usually says something like “I’m not…” or asks questions like “Why do things like this always happen to me?” The problem is this voice isn’t very accurate. It has a very limited perspective and it’s usually focusing on something bad and can’t see anything else. It imagines the worse case scenario and plays that out in your mind as the only way this situation is going to turn out. When the voice continues to ask negative questions you’re never going to get positive answers. So the first step is to recognize when this voice starts to take over your thinking.

2 - Record what the voice says.

After you realize the voice is talking, you need to listen to it and write down what it says and how you feel. Yes, that sounds weird, but stay with us. It’s important to write down what you are feeling and what the voice is saying so that later you can come back to it to review. Because if you’re like everyone else, you will convince yourself you weren’t really feeling that way as time passes. But you were and to change the story you need to remember what it was.

3 - Review the story.

This builds on the second step. It’s why recording what the voice says and how you feel is so important. Often after a few hours or days you can look back on what the voice was saying and see how ridiculous it is. You recognize that the story it was telling you isn’t true. Sometimes you’ve been telling yourself that story for so long you may still believe it and you need to evaluate it more closely.

There are a few questions you should ask:

Does this story hold you back or does it empower you to accomplish your dreams?
Is this story 100% true and can you prove it?
Ask questions like, “When I hear this story, how does it make me feel?” “How do I treat myself and others because of it?” Or “Who am I when I have this thought in my head?”
Who would you be without this thought? How would you feel and how would you treat yourself and others?

After reviewing the story and realizing that it is a story that isn’t true, you’re ready to take the next step.

4 - Rewrite the story.

The story that voice is telling you is only one way of understanding what you have been through or are going through. It’s time to look at it from a different perspective and to rewrite the story. Look for any positives and use those to edit the story in a way that empowers you. Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” Quit letting that voice in your head tell you that you can’t. If you keep telling yourself the same negative story, you’ll keep getting more and more of the things you don’t want in life. So write down the new story, the story about how what you have been through has empowered you, made you stronger, braver. Those things you thought were liabilities can be assets. Don’t let the old story become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

5 - Repeat the new story.

Once you have that new story, a better way of looking at your circumstances, you have to repeat it. Every time that voice starts telling you the old story you have to interrupt it. Say, “That’s not true.” Then begin to tell yourself the new true story. This isn’t a quick fix. It’s something that takes time and practice. That old voice is familiar and has probably been around for a while so it won’t go quietly. But it will go over time.

The more we tell ourselves the new true story, the more it will become reality. If we don’t, we can be stuck as victims in a bad story, without control and often without hope. But you do have control. You have the power to edit and to author your story. So it’s time to kick that old voice out, pick up the pen and begin the story you want to live.

Is A Condom Enough?

Mon, 07 Dec 2015 14:17:00 GMT

If you’ve sat in a school health class that talked about sex, at some point you probably heard a message about how using a condom is practicing safe sex. Sure, condoms are better than nothing, but they aren’t 100% effective. They don’t allow for safe sex, just less risky sex.

Condoms and Pregnancy

One of the problems is that condoms aren’t that effective in preventing pregnancy. You will see studies reporting that “when used correctly and consistently” condoms are 98% effective in preventing pregnancy. (1) The problem is that most people don’t use them correctly and consistently. In fact, the CDC reports that 18 out of 100 (2) women who experienced an unintended pregnancy were using condoms as their means of birth control. That’s 18% or almost 1 in 5. Does that sound safe to you? It sounds a bit risky to us.

Condoms and STDs

And pregnancy isn’t the only concern when it comes to risks and sex. Statistics tell us that 1 in 2 sexually active young people will contract an STD. And while condoms can provide some protection against STDs, they don’t cover everything. Literally. Some STDs like herpes and HPV can be passed by contact with areas a condom doesn’t cover.

There are over 25 different types of STDs and some of them, once diagnosed, are easily treated and cured. Others can be treated but there is no cure and they can have lifelong and even life threatening affects. Are you sure you want to trust your short and long term health to a condom?

Complimentary Testing and Treatment

If you think you might be pregnant or have a STD, we’re here to help. Because we care about you and your health, we offer complimentary pregnancy tests and limited OB ultrasounds to confirm pregnancy.

We also offer STD testing and treatment for two of the most common STDs, Gonorrhea and Chlamydia, (Links to blog posts) at no charge to our clients. Call our offices in Kearney (308) 234-9880 or Grand Island 308) 675-2217 to schedule and appointment.

Sources:

1 – http://sexetc.org/info-center/post/do-condoms-work-whats-the-best-brand-and-which-type-of-condom-is-most-effective/

2 – http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/unintendedpregnancy/pdf/contraceptive_methods_508.pdf

Oral Sex Q&A

Mon, 09 Nov 2015 16:13:00 GMT

What’s the big deal about oral sex? It’s safe and it won’t get you pregnant, right? It’s not even real sex.

These are questions and comments we hear from clients. Questions and comments based on assumptions they have made about oral sex and the risks involved. Sometimes they have good information, sometimes, not so much. Most of their information comes from stories they’ve heard, their friends, and sometimes their own experiences. Because of the misinformation out there about oral sex, we thought we’d do a Question and Answer post. We want to set the record straight and provide you with some reliable information to help you make good, healthy decisions.

Q. What is oral sex?

A. Oral sex is any contact between the genitals of one person and the mouth and/or tongue of another.

Q. Is oral sex even real sex?

A. Many refer to vaginal intercourse or coitus as “real sex”. This is when the penis penetrates into the vagina. However, sexual intercourse as defined by dictionary.com also includes a secondary definition of sex as any genital contact other than vaginal sex. So yes, by definition oral sex is still sex.

sexual intercourse n.

1. Coitus between humans.

2. Sexual union between humans involving genital contact other than vaginal penetration by the penis.

Q. I can’t get pregnant from oral sex, can I?

A. No. As long as there is no vaginal sex, or vaginal contact with semen, you won’t get pregnant. But, oral sex often leads to a desire for more physical contact and in the heat of the moment, can lead to vaginal sex.

Q. So if I can’t get pregnant, is oral sex safe sex?

A. The answer to this one is clear. Oral sex is not safe sex. Like other methods of sex, oral sex presents a risk of serious, sometimes untreatable and life-threatening sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Both men and women are at risk of catching STDs through oral sex, just as with vaginal and anal sex. Oral sex is known to spread diseases such as gonorrhea , chlamydia , syphilis , genital herpes , HPV and HIV . Some of these are curable with antibiotics, some are treatable but not curable and as mentioned, some are life threatening.

If you think you might have contracted a STD from oral sex, you should seek testing and treatment immediately. Collage offers complimentary testing for both Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. If you’d like to schedule an appointment, please call us at (308) 234-9880 in Kearney, or (308) 675-2217 in Grand Island.

Do you have other questions about oral sex we haven’t answered? If so, leave your question in the comments section and one of our staff will answer them for you.

Sources – http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sexual-intercourse?s=t

Why Your Brain is Your Largest Sex Organ

Mon, 12 Oct 2015 10:00:00 GMT

Sex and Your Brain

Often when we talk about the risks of sex, we focus on the physical risks such as pregnancy and STDs (sexually transmitted diseases). Other times we talk about the emotional risks involved with sex, but we rarely discuss the psychological consequences, or how sex affects your brain. Advances in neuroscience have made it possible to study how the brain is active and even how it is altered by sexual activity.

Why Your Brain is Your Largest Sex Organ?

During sex there are three prominent neurochemicals that are involved and each has a significant affect on your brain.

Dopamine: This chemical is present in men and women. Dopamine is a “reward chemical” in that it rewards people by saturating their brain with a feeling of exhilaration when that persons engages in the activity (in this case sex). Unfortunately, dopamine doesn’t know the difference between positive and negative behaviors and so it rewards the brain for both types of actions, things such as acing a test or speeding. Dopamine is the chemical that is responsible for the addictive nature of sex. It keeps you wanting that next fix.

Oxytocin: This is found in the female and is the bonding chemical. When this is released, it increases her desire for touch and causes her to bond to the person she is in physical contact with. With intercourse and orgasm, oxytocin washes over the brain, causing her to want more sex with the person she is bonded with. Like dopamine, oxytocin doesn’t discriminate. The result can be that a woman becomes bonded with someone she only thought would be a casual hookup.

Vasopressin: This is the male version of the bonding chemical and is the cause of the man’s connection with the woman. Again, it is non-discriminatory and may result in an unintentional connection with a partner.

“Sex Brain” and Bad Decisions

Understanding how these chemicals work can explain why people make bad decisions and helps us better understand the consequences. Often people jump into sex too soon. One reason for this is sex rewires the brain to make it easier to say yes to more sex. The part of the brain that regulates sexual restraint is weakened. They crave the release of dopamine. This helps explain why after a breakup, once a new relationship has begun it can progress quickly to a sexual relationship.

Another affect is that sex can keep people in bad relationships. Most of us know couples that stay in unhealthy, even abusive relationships and find ourselves asking why. It’s the sex. The bonding chemicals create such a strong attachment, even if there is no other foundation for the relationship that they can’t leave each other.

A third affect is that when a person engages in patterns of dating, having sex, breaking up finding a new partner, or just casually hooking up, that person potentially makes it more difficult to later bond with a spouse. By disrupting the function of the bonding chemicals, this pattern can break the circuits needed for long-term commitment. It becomes addicted to the sex without the emotional connection.

These affects can last a long time, affecting the person’s ability to emotionally invest and be committed to future relationships.

Safe Sex is about more than wearing a condom. It’s about protecting yourself physically, emotionally and psychologically. It’s about understanding the risks in all three areas and taking the steps to keep yourself safe. After all, you’re worth it! If you are struggling with the physical, emotional or psychological affects of sexual activity and would like to talk to someone, our team is available.

If you are interested in reading more about the psychological affects of sex on the brain, we encourage you to check out “ Hooked ” by Joe S. McIlhaney Jr, MD and Freda McKissic Bush, MD.

Chlamydia – Just The Facts

Mon, 14 Sep 2015 10:00:00 GMT

What is Chlamydia?

Chlamydia is a bacterial Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) that can infect both men and women. It is the most commonly reported STD in the United States and is considered a silent disease because 75% of women and 50% of men never display symptoms, resulting in many people unknowingly spreading the disease.

How can I get Chlamydia?

You can get Chlamydia by engaging in vaginal, oral or anal sex with someone who already has it. If your sex partner is male, you can get it even if they don’t ejaculate.

Am I at risk?

Any sexually active person can get Chlamydia when they engage in sex with someone who has it. Sexually active young people are at a higher risk of getting a STD, including Chlamydia. CDC states there are currently 110 million people infected with a STD and 20 million new infections yearly.

Can it affect my baby if I’m pregnant?

Untreated Chlamydia has been linked to problems during pregnancy including preterm labor and low birth weight. Chlamydia can also be passed to your baby during delivery, and if untreated can result in eye and lung infections. All pregnant women should be tested for Chlamydia at least once, and possibly more if they are at high risk.

Common symptoms of Chlamydia

Often there are no symptoms present in those infected with Chlamydia. If there are symptoms, they differ in men and women.

Symptoms in men:

Discharge from penis
A burning sensation when urinating
Burning and/or itching around the penis opening.

Symptoms in women:

Burning sensation when urinating
Abnormal vaginal discharge or bleeding
Abdominal pain or back pain
Pain during intercourse

Rectal Infections:

Discharge
Rectal pain
Bleeding

How can I know if I’m infected?

Getting tested is the only way to know for sure. If you are showing any symptoms, or think you are at risk, you should get tested. A simple urine test is the most common way to test for Chlamydia.

Can Chlamydia be cured?

Yes, with the proper treatment Chlamydia can be cured once diagnosed. It is important for you to take all medication prescribed to cure the infection and that you not share your medication with anyone else. Medication can stop the infection, but it cannot undo any permanent damage caused by the disease. Repeat infection is common, so you should be tested again about 3 months after treatment even if your partner was treated.

What if I don’t get treated?

If untreated, not only will you spread the disease if you continue to be sexually active, but it can have lasting affects on your health. In women, it can spread to you uterus and fallopian tubes causing Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID). PID can result in the formation of scar tissue that block the fallopian tubes, an ectopic pregnancy , infertility and long-term pelvic and/or abdominal pain. In men, there are fewer long-term health problems. It can spread to the tubes that carry sperm from the testicles resulting in pain and fever. Occasionally it can result in men being unable to have children. Left untreated it may also increase your risk of getting HIV.

At Collage we care about you and want you to have all the information you need to take care of yourself when it comes to your sexual health. If you think you might have Chlamydia, we offer complimentary STD testing and treatment at no cost to you. We’d love to have you come in for a test and to answer any questions you may have.

6 Relationship Tips for Teen Guys

Tue, 18 Aug 2015 16:18:00 GMT

There are tons of articles and blog posts about relationship advice for teen girls, but tips on how to have a healthy relationship are something guys need as well. If you’re looking for ways to attract and keep the attention of that girl you have a crush on, here are 6 relationship tips for teen guys you should pay attention to.

6 Relationships Tips for Teen Guys

#1 Find a Friend

This is our top tip for guys who are interested in a relationship. You need to become friends with someone before you can get serious about having a relationship with them. We’re not saying date your best girl friend, unless that’s who you secretly have a crush on. We’re saying you should find someone you enjoy spending time with, someone with similar interests and get to know them. It’s amazing how that friendship can provide a great foundation for a romantic relationship.

#2 Man Up

It’s time to step up your maturity game. We’re not saying you have to toss your X-Box, quit hanging out with your guy friends, or anything like that. What we mean is it’s time to be mature. Carry yourself with confidence (and just for the record, there’s a big difference between confidence and cockiness), and don’t get caught up in the drama. Being mature is very attractive to young women.

#3 Manners Matter

We know, today’s girls are independent, but that doesn’t mean you can leave your manners at home when you go out on a date. Opening a door, pulling out a chair, standing when your date enters or leaves a room are signs of respect and ways to show her that you value her and want to put her needs ahead of yours. Plus, it’s what gentlemen do.

#4 Give her Compliments

But make them genuine. Sure ever girl likes to hear she’s beautiful, but that’s the easy way out. Don’t just compliment her on her appearance, let her know those little things you notice and appreciate about her. Funny thing is, when you do this, she’ll usually return the favor and this communication will depend your relationship.

#5 No Pressure

One of the keys to developing a healthy long-term relationship is that you don’t pressure her to do things she isn’t ready to do. Selfish behavior like this is a sign that you’re not putting her first, and should serve as a red flag to her that this relationship isn’t headed in the right direction.

#6 Take it Easy

This one ties into the last tip, but there’s no rush. Remember tip #1 about being friends first. Take some time to get to know each other, talk about the things that are important to you, values, beliefs, life goals, and dreams. These conversations will make sure you are both on the same page and headed in the same direction.

So what do you think? We want to hear from the guys and the girls? Do you agree with these relationship tips for teen guys? Do you have any others that you’ve found work to help have healthy long-term relationship?

7 Things to Ask if You’re Pregnant and Considering Adoption

Mon, 27 Jul 2015 13:43:00 GMT

Finding out your unexpectedly pregnant is often a traumatic experience. The questions begin running through your mind faster than you can process the answers, if you even know the answers. Eventually, your mind slows down and you start to really consider your options. Should you keep the baby? Should you go through the adoption process? Or, is an abortion the best option? Tough questions and usually tougher answers. For some women, adoption is the best option. We don’t like the term “giving a baby up” for adoption, because it’s not about giving up, it’s about choosing a life for your child that you can’t provide due to your current circumstances. If this is an option you’re considering, choosing the right adoption agency is important.

To help you find the agency that is going to be best for you here are 7 questions you should ask if you’re pregnant and considering adoption.

1. Does the agency discuss all of your options with your pregnancy?

A good agency will discuss and make sure you understand all of your options. They should want to get to know you and make sure you want to place your child for the right reasons. If they aren’t presenting all the options, they may not have your best interest at heart.

2. Do they thoroughly explain the adoption options and discuss the possible outcomes?

There are several different types of adoption and the agency should make sure you understand them all and help you determine which is the best option for you. They should also be willing to discuss the possible outcomes. Unfortunately, not all adoption processes have the happy ending everyone wants. They should help you prepare for all the possible scenarios and weigh the risks involved as well as the benefits of each option.

3. Will that agency help me during and after the adoption process?

Will the agency help you find insurance or medical coverage if you don’t have it? Do they provide or help you find information about your pregnancy and what you should expect? Will they be there after the adoption if you need to talk to someone? It is not unusual for grief to hit after an adoption, sometime a year or two later. Will they be there for you?

4. What are the requirements of adoptive parents?

It is usually comforting to know what training, background checks and other things are required of adoptive parents. This information can help you decide if the agency is a good fit and if they have a good group of possible families for you to choose from.

5. What happens if I change my mind about adoption during the process?

Obviously the agency is in the business of coordinating adoptions. If you change your mind and decide to parent will they support you, or will they pressure you and guilt you into completing the adoption? Questioning your decision to place for adoption is normal and ideally they will be there to discuss why you are considering changing your mind and help you process if those are good reasons. Ultimately you should follow your instincts on this one.

6. Does the agency offer any counseling or other resources to help me in life outside my pregnancy?

You’re considering placing your child for adoption, so something in your life made you question whether you are ready to be a parent. Perhaps it’s circumstances around your schooling or employment. Maybe it’s money or your relationship with the father. It could be that you don’t feel you have the support you need from family to parent. Whatever the circumstances, will the agency help you find a way out of the current situation and move towards a better future?

7. Does the agency provide references and allow you to talk to previous birth mothers who placed for adoption?

Will they give you a list of references you can call? Sometimes talking to someone who has been through the adoption process before can not only confirm the reputation of the agency, but also be helpful for you to talk with. Now the agency may only give you references they know are going to give a glowing recommendation, so be sure to check out online reviews as well. There are even some resources that compile online reviews of most of the larger agencies in one place so you can compare them all at once.

Adoption is a big decision, a hard decision and one that is often made when both the best interests for the mother and child are considered. But it’s not a decision that anyone should be pressured into making. If you’re thinking about adoption but would like to talk to someone before contacting an adoption agency, our team at Collage would love to be there for you to ask questions and weigh all your options. You can contact us through the website or by giving us a call (308) 234-9880 to reach our Kearney office or (308) 675-2217 for our Grand Island office.

7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Having Sex

Mon, 15 Jun 2015 10:00:00 GMT

Having sex is a big deal. It changes a relationship and it changes you. It’s something you need to think about and plan for before you’re in the moment. If it comes up, how will you respond? Are you ready, or should you wait? Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to have sex. And if you’ve had sex, it doesn’t mean you have to again.

Here are 7 questions to ask yourself before having sex.

Are you feeling pressure to have sex?

It might be your partner or it might be the feeling that all your friends are having sex and you don’t want to be left behind. Standing up for yourself can be hard, but knowing who you are and what your boundaries are ahead of time can help you have the strength to make the decisions that are going to be best for you. You’re value and worth don’t depend on whether or not you are having sex, they come from you just being you. Not sure what to say or how to stand up for yourself, we’d love to talk with you and help.

Are you afraid you might lose your partner if you don’t have sex?

If your partner doesn’t love you enough to respect your boundaries and decisions, having sex isn’t going to keep them around. You deserve someone who values you for you, not what you can give them and you should never have to do something you don’t want to do or aren’t comfortable doing to keep them.

Are you going to regret this later?

Those voices in your head, listen to them. If you’re uncomfortable, scared, or think you might feel guilty afterwards it’s okay to say no. Sex is meant to be a beautiful thing, not something you regret having too soon or in ways you aren’t comfortable with. You should be the one making the decisions and those decisions need to be ones you can live with, regret free.

Do you both know what you need to about preventing unexpected pregnancy and STDs?

If you decide to have sex there is a chance you can find yourself facing an unexpected pregnancy or catching a STD. Be sure you have all the information you need about STDs before making a decision. You deserve to know the facts before you put yourself at risk. If you have questions, we have several blogs and we’re available in the office to answer your questions.

Is my partner really ready?

Sometimes your partner will push you to have sex even if they aren’t sure they are ready themselves. They may think it is what you want, or they may be feeling the pressure from their friends. Talking with your partner about it may reveal they aren’t feeling ready themselves.

Does this line up with who I am and what I value?

Everyone has values that help them make decisions and that shape who they are and who they want to be as a person. In life we are confronted with decisions daily that force us to choose between those things we value and the alternatives. To stay true to who we are as a person, you must stay true to your values. If you value honesty, you’re going to be faced with the decision of being honest or telling a lie. If you value waiting to have sex until you’re married, you will be faced with that decision. In the end, being true to you, to your values will help you avoid those feelings of regret.

Are you in control?

Have you been drinking or are you under the influence of something else? Beer goggles are real. It’s hard to be in control and to make good decisions when you’re drunk, and this is one you want to make with a clear mind. Skip the sex for now and wait until you’re in control and won’t have regrets.

This is a big decision, one you have to make for yourself. But, we think these 6 questions will help you make the decision that is best for you, a decision you can live with.

We’d love to hear what you think. Are there other questions you should ask before making the decision to have sex?

How Does a Pregnancy Test Work?

Mon, 25 May 2015 11:00:00 GMT

This may not be the first question you think of when you believe you might be pregnant and are looking for a test. Questions like, “How reliable is this test?” or “Is it too early to take a pregnancy test?” probably come to mind sooner. But understanding how a pregnancy test works can help answer both of those questions and give you confidence in the results.

So what exactly does a pregnancy test, test? Pregnancy tests are looking for a hormone called Human Chorionic Gonadotropin. That’s a mouthful, so it is commonly referred to as hCG and is secreted by the placenta during pregnancy. Let’s break that down.

Human – pretty straightforward. It comes from humans, not other animals, droids, cyborgs or aliens. This specific hormone is produced by humans during pregnancy.

Chorionic – This comes from the word Chorion, one of the membranes that develop between the mother and the fetus during pregnancy. Embyro is a scientific term for a specific stage or development in a mammal from conception to 8 weeks. In this case, we are talking a human embryo. After that, it is referred to as a fetus up until birth. Then an infant, toddler, teenager, etc. The term fetus isn’t referring to a stage where the baby is something else, but a specific stage of development.

Gonadotropin – This is a protein hormone that helps regulate growth and is important for the development of the baby during pregnancy

So Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG) is simply a hormone that is produced as a human baby develops.

The pregnancy test measures the amount of hCG in a woman’s urine (or blood if a blood test is used) to determine if she is pregnant. On average, a non-pregnant woman will have less than 5mlU/ml of hCG present in her urine. However, a few weeks after implantation happens the amount of hCG her body secrets doubles every 48-72 hours. So a pregnant woman’s body has drastically more HCG than a non-pregnant woman’s body. If there is enough hCG present (how much depends on the sensitivity of the test), you get a positive result.

Pregnancy tests are calibrated at different levels, and thus some are accurate earlier in the pregnancy than others. Most tests are set to detect levels of hCG at 20 mlU/ml, 50 mlU/ml, or 100 mlU/ml. The lower the number, the earlier the test can determine pregnancy. By 7 days post ovulation, a pregnant woman can have up to 50 mlU/ml of hCG in her blood. A test that is highly sensitive (20mlU/ml) will be accurate for most, but not all women, by 7-10 days after possible conception.

If you do take a test this early, it is possible that a test can come back with a false negative, meaning the result you got was negative but you are actually pregnant. This can happen if ovulation occurred later than you think, or if you have a lower hCG production level than average. If you do decide to take a test as early as 7-10 days and get a negative result, we recommend you take another test a few days later just to be sure.

At Collage, we offer complimentary pregnancy and STD tests as well as a trained patient advocate who you can talk with about your options if the test does come back positive. We typically test either after a missed period or 10 days after possible conception to better ensure an accurate test result. Feel free to call or email us if we can help you or a friend.

Gonorrhea – Just the Facts

Mon, 11 May 2015 15:04:00 GMT

What is Gonorrhea?

Gonorrhea is a bacterial Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) that can infect both men and women that can occur in the genitals, rectum or throat. It is one of the more common STDs because many who are infected don’t know it and pass it on to their partners.

How can I get Gonorrhea?

You can get Gonorrhea by engaging in vaginal, oral or anal sex with someone who already has it. If your sex partner is male, you can get it even if they don’t ejaculate.

Am I at risk?

Any sexually active person can get Gonorrhea when they engage in sex with someone who has it.

Can it affect my baby if I’m pregnant?

If you are pregnant and have Gonorrhea, you can pass the infection to your baby during delivery. This can result in serious health problems for your baby during childbirth and beyond. If you are pregnant, getting tested and treated as soon as possible can reduce the risk for your baby.

Common symptoms of Gonorrhea

Often there are no symptoms present in those infected with Gonorrhea. If there are symptoms, they differ in men and women.

Symptoms in men:

White, yellow or green discharge from penis
A burning sensation when urinating
Painful or enlarged testicles (less common)

Symptoms in women: (Most women do not have symptoms, and when they do have them they can easily be mistaken for a bladder or vaginal infection.)

Painful or burning sensation when urinating
Increased vaginal discharge
Unusual vaginal bleeding between periods

Rectal Infections:

Discharge
Itching
Soreness
Bleeding
Pain during bowel movements

How can I know if I’m infected?

Getting tested is the only way to know for sure. If you are showing any symptoms, or think you are at risk, you should get tested. A simple urine test is the most common way to test for Gonorrhea.

Can Gonorrhea be cured?

With proper treatment Gonorrhea can be cured once diagnosed. At Collage, once Gonorrhea is diagnosed, we treat it with one oral dose of antibiotic and one shot. It can also be treated with a prescription that is taken over several days. If you are given a prescription, it is important for you to take all medication prescribed to cure the infection and that you not share your medication with anyone else. Medication can stop the infection, but it cannot undo any permanent damage caused by the disease.

What if I don’t get treated?

If untreated, not only will you spread the disease if you continue to be sexually active, but it can have lasting affects on your health. In women, the disease can progress and cause Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID). PID can result in the formation of scar tissue that block the fallopian tubes, an ectopic pregnancy, infertility and long-term pelvic and/or abdominal pain. In men, it can cause a pain in the tubes attached to the testicles and sterility. Left untreated it may also increase your risk of getting HIV.

At Collage we care about you and want you to have all the information you need to take care of yourself when it comes to your sexual health. If you think you might have Gonorrhea, we offer complimentary STD testing and treatment at no cost to you. We’d love to have you come in for a test and to answer any questions you may have.

Moments

Mon, 27 Apr 2015 17:32:00 GMT

During our annual banquets in Grand Island and Kearney we debuted our new “Moments” video that tells the story of how Collage serves our community. We wanted to share the video with you and let you know if you need help, we’re here, waiting to help you create beauty from the unexpected.

Moments

There is a moment,

as the darkening sky moves from pale orange to grey,

just as the last rays of the day’s light

are choked out by twilight’s grip.

There is a halting moment

when it seems all light will go out,

all hope will be lost,

and the whole world pauses to grasp a quick breath,

and watch the bruised clouds empty of their color.

It is in this moment that the full weight of the sky presses down hard

and seeks to take back that small amount of air in our lungs.

When this moment comes we are covered, completely and utterly engulfed by our situation.

And when that moment passes,

the sky splits,

and stars come into full bloom.

An exciting realization sets in

that beyond the death of this day

are swirling clouds of galaxies,

untold possibilities,

and beauty just beyond the horizon.

All that is left is to wait,

wait,

wait for the dawn.

This isn’t just about getting by,

or dealing with life.

This is about taking some of the darkest moments imaginable

and imagining unexpected beauty.

Collage – creating beauty from the unexpected.

Choose Beautiful

Tue, 21 Apr 2015 20:48:00 GMT

At Collage, we believe that deep down there’s beauty and value in everyone. But sometimes we have a hard time seeing that beauty. Perhaps it’s buried under the rubble of past decisions or circumstances life has handed us, but no matter how badly we’ve been hurt or tarnished, the fact is that beauty remains, waiting to be uncovered.

Unfortunately many of us never discover, never see, that beauty. Maybe we’ve been told it’s not there by someone who hurt us. Maybe we thought we had it once, but lost it. And we give up. We choose to see, we choose to be, average.

But we were meant for more than average. We were meant for the extraordinary. We were made to be beautiful. And that beauty is there. Maybe it’s hiding, but it’s there. Waiting for you to choose to see it.

At Collage, we believe that even in those unexpected circumstances, especially in those unexpected circumstances, we can choose beauty.

Spring Break Safety Tips

Mon, 16 Mar 2015 11:00:00 GMT

It’s here. It’s Spring Break and for some of you it’s time to put away the books, pack the duffle bag, say goodbye to the tundra of central Nebraska and head for warmer weather. And no, we’re not jealous you’re heading to a tropical location, (well maybe a little). Really, we want you to have a good time and to go make some great memories with your friends. We also want you to be safe, and at the risk of sounding like that awkward sex-ed teacher from high school, we want to remind you of a few spring break safety tips.

For many, Spring Break is less about the beach and more about the booze. The Journal of American Collage Health estimates that during spring break the average male drinks about 18 drinks per day, and for females that average is about 10 drinks. That’s a lot of beer, and some serious beer goggles. I don’t think we need to explain how that much alcohol is going to impair someone’s judgment. That may be why about ½ of all sexual encounters during break are unplanned and unprotected. If you’re going to drink, don’t over do it.

What’s the problem? It’s spring break. We’re young. We’re supposed to let loose and have fun. That’s what you’re probably thinking. And yes, you are young and you should have fun, but you need to be smart too. Let’s look at a couple other things that happen when large amounts of alcohol and an atmosphere of casual sex are present.

One half of all sexually active college students will have at least one STD. Many, if not most people don’t know they have it because often there are no noticeable symptoms. So half of the people you might have sex with have an STD. You have no way of knowing which half. Students also report that 75% never or rarely use a condom on spring break. Perhaps because they have bought into some myths about STDs that just aren’t true. Whatever the reason, you don’t have to be a math major to figure out those odds aren’t very good. But STDs may not be your biggest risk during spring break.

Sexual assaults during spring break are a horrible reality. The numbers are a little scary, scary enough we hope you read them and take some precautions. You don’t even have to be drinking for alcohol to play a role in a sexual assault, but if you are drinking the chances of victimization increase. Right around 25% of women report being the victim of some kind of sexual assault and in 81% of sexual assaults both the victim and the perpetrator were drinking. So if you plan to drink, make sure someone who isn’t drinking has your back and will stop you if you try to head out the door with that guy. Another safety tip is to keep an eye on your drink. If you can, put a lid on it. If not, keep your hand over the cup. Be sure you know what’s in that cup at all times. Remember, you want to be in control of what happens. One last word of caution. When alcohol is involved, victims are less likely to recognize the experience as rape. But that doesn’t change the fact that it was rape and that it is a crime.

Bottom line, we don’t want you to walk around break scared, we just want you to be cautious. Spring break should be a fun time with your friends, not one you regret. We want you bring back some great memories and a few selfies with your besties, but not a souvenir that can have lasting health and emotional affects.

We know you’re not planning to visit us, but if you get back in town and have some concerns about what might have travelled home with you, we offer complimentary STD testing and treatment as well as pregnancy tests and limited ob. ultrasounds to confirm a positive pregnancy test.

Have fun, be smart, stay safe.

Can I Get an STD From a Hotel Bathtub?

Tue, 03 Mar 2015 16:42:00 GMT

Hi, My girlfriend and I had unprotected sex in a hotel bathtub. Concerned if there were people who have used it for sex as well before us, is it possible to acquire an STD from having unprotected sex with your partner in a “pre-used” tub? Your answer will be highly appreciated since I am quite bothered since 3 days after, tiny itchy red bumps appeared in my body. Thanks.

- Bothered and Itchy

We recently received this question. Since this and similar questions about how you can get an STD come up regularly in conversations with our clients, and now, here on our blog, we thought it would be good to answer this in a new post.

Dear Bothered and Itchy,

First off, thanks to you and everyone for having the courage to ask questions in the comments of our posts. If you have a question, no doubt others do as well. What you’re asking about is a very common fear. Many people don’t know if STDs can be passed in public or shared places, such as bathtubs, hot tubs, and toilet seats.

STDs are communicable diseases that are almost always passed from person to person during vaginal, anal, or oral sex, and by close skin to skin contact. Various kinds of STDs can be spread differently.

For example there are STDs caused by a virus (such as Hepatitis B, Herpes, HIV, HPV). Some of these may exist outside of mucous membranes of the vagina, penis rectum and mouth, such as on the porous skin surrounding the genitals. Other viral STDs such as Hepatitis and HIV do not pass through intact skin and are transferred by contact with bodily fluids.

A second type is Bacterial STDs. These live inside the mucous membranes (i.e. membranes of the vagina, rectum, penis, and mouth) and are transferred through contact with these infected membranes.

The last kind of STD is parasitic. Pubic lice (crabs) and trichomoniases are STDs caused by parasites and are most often spread during sexual activity, but can also be spread through contact with an infected person’s clothing, bedding, and towels.

So, now that you understand the types of STDs and how they are spread, you can understand that the only type that could have a reasonable chance of being passed from one person to another in a public area like a bathtub, would be a parasitic STD. But this is only if the genital area is in contact with a damp object. Keep in mind that bathtubs DO NOT provide the ideal environment for parasitic STDs to reproduce and live. Since viral and bacterial STDs can’t survive long outside the environment of mucous membranes it’s virtually impossible to contact one of these STDs this way.

How can I know for sure that I don’t have an STD?

Even though it’s highly unlikely that you caught an STD from the bathtub, it doesn’t mean you don’t have one or aren’t at risk for getting one. One of the reasons STDs are so common is most don’t show any symptoms and the person passing along an STD doesn’t know they are infected. The only way to know for sure is to get tested.

We would advise you and your partner to both get tested right away to rule out this possibility. At Collage, we offer complimentary testing and treatment for Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. For other tests we recommend you contact your doctor’s office. If you don’t have a doctor we’re happy to help you find the assistance you need.

Again, thank you for your question. We hope it helps others as well.

What is Limited OB Ultrasound?

Mon, 23 Feb 2015 11:00:00 GMT

If you’ve been looking around the Collage website and found our list of services you may have noticed that we offer Limited OB Ultrasounds. But you probably wondered what exactly is a Limited OB Ultrasound and maybe even why you would need one.

Why does Collage provide ultrasounds?

A positive pregnancy test is usually the first indication you are pregnant, but that is all it is. It can’t really tell you much about your pregnancy. After a positive test result indicating that you are pregnant, it is important to confirm that it is a viable pregnancy and not an ectopic pregnancy . You need to know that your pregnancy is developing and growing where it is supposed to and isn’t going to endanger your life.

The way to find that information out is through an Obstetrical (OB) Ultrasound.

How is this different than what I would get at my doctor’s office?

When you visit your Ob-Gyn and they perform an ultrasound the doctor is looking at several things such as the position of the baby, the level of amniotic fluid, the number of babies, the size, the health of the placenta and many others. They have a number of questions they need to answer and they are able to examine all aspects of an OB ultrasound. They are able to assess and diagnose all things pertaining to your reproductive system and the baby.

At Collage we perform what is referred to as Limited OB Ultrasounds. Limited means that we are not seeking to answer all the questions related to your pregnancy that your Ob-Gyn might. We are limited in the scope of our questions and what we are able to share. What we are trying to determine is threefold.

Is the baby in the uterus?
What is the age of the baby?
Is there a heartbeat?

Our Ultrasound Techs perform our Limited OB Ultrasounds to answer these questions. Our ultrasound services aren’t designed to be a full medical evaluation, but to help you better understand your situation, to rule out immediate health risks and equip you to make informed decisions about your pregnancy.

What happens if you detect a problem?

During the scan if the Ultrasound Tech notices anything of concern, they will send your ultrasound results to the doctor who oversees our medical services for review. If the doctor detects an ectopic pregnancy or anything else of concern during this secondary review they will notify us and we will contact you with the results. Your health and well-being is our chief concern.

If you have any additional questions about our ultrasound or any of our other services please give us a call.

Alternative Valentine’s Dates That Don’t End At Collage

Mon, 09 Feb 2015 11:00:00 GMT

Ah, Valentines Day

The romance, the roses. The hype, the expectations. Either you’re excited about Feb. 14th, or it makes you cringe. There’s not a lot of middle ground. Is another romantic candle light dinner on the menu again this year? Or are you hanging out alone or with a group of friends? If you’re single, here are some ideas to make the day more bearable. If you’re over the traditional Valentine’s fare, we’ve got a few ideas for a Valentine’s date that won’t end with a visit to Collage.

Alternative Valentine’s Dates:

Get Creative

We don’t mean try to come up with a creative way to have the same old Valentine’s date. We mean be creative. Are you artistic? Why not plan an evening of painting, pottery or photography. Both Corky Creations Paint and Sip in Kearney and the Happy Brush in Grand Island are having a special Valentine’s Event if you want to give paining a try.

Go On An Adventure

Tell your date to take a hike, no really. An evening walking or biking either Kearney or Grand Island’s historic trails under the stars is a great option. And if the weather cooperates, make a snowman or snow angels. Speaking of stars, if the night sky is your thing maybe an early Valentine’s Date at the UNK Bruner Hall Planetarium would be fun.

Take in a Play

Why not spend the evening at the theater? The Kearney Community Theater and Grand Island's the GILT, performs multiple times throughout the year. If you want to take a longer roadtrip; the Lied Center in Lincoln and the Orpheum in Omaha usually have a show around Valentine's Day.

LOL

If you’re looking for a laugh, you might want to check out any local comedy shows happening in the area.

Have a Sporting Good Time

If you and your date are into sports, what better way to spend the day than at the Heartland Hoops Classic?

Planning one of these alternative Valentine Dates allows you to step out of the box and get creative for you special valentine. This also gives you time to plan ways to keep yourself out of situations that put you at risk for an unexpected pregnancy or a STD. At Collage we want you to have a fantastic Valentine’s Day and we want you to stay safe. But if you find yourself in need of help, you know where to find us.

Partnering With Collage To Serve Our Community

Mon, 02 Feb 2015 11:00:00 GMT

At Collage, we believe deep down that there is beauty and value in everyone. Often times though, we have a hard time seeing that beauty. Perhaps it’s buried under the rubble of past decisions or circumstances that life has handed us. But no matter how badly we’ve been broken and tarnished, the fact is, beauty remains, waiting to be uncovered.

This belief is what drives us to serve our community, and this belief is why others partner with us, allowing us to provide all of our services at no charge to those who need our help. We can’t do it alone. Any successful team thrives on the talents of many, and though we have a very gifted staff, it is your belief in what we do and your partnership that make it all happen.

As we said, a successful team thrives on the talents of many. We want to invite you to use your talents to help Collage serve our community. Now we don’t expect each of you to come in and answer calls from women who are struggling with an unexpected pregnancy, or to perform STD testing. We understand those things require very specific skill sets. But there are other ways you can use your talents to make a difference.

Partnering With Collage Financially

Collage is a non-profit organization that relies on the generous support of our donors to be able to provide a variety of services, such as pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, STD testing and treatment and after abortion care to our communities in both Kearney and Grand Island. If you believe in our mission, perhaps a financial partnership is something you would consider.

Partnering With Collage By Providing Material Goods

Some of our supporters enjoy providing material assistance through in-kind gifts to Collage. This allows us to provide timely and much needed support to our clients. We maintain a “Wish List” of specific items that have been requested by clients or are items we use on a regular basis. For more information about partnering with us in this way please visit our In-Kind Gift page on our website.

Partnering With Collage Through Volunteering

We also have friends who partner with us by volunteering at Collage. Not all of our volunteers sit in a room with a client, though if that is something you’re interested in we’d love to talk. The best way to get involved through volunteering is to call the office, either in Kearney or Grand Island, and set up a time to come in and pick up a volunteer application. This will allow us to determine if we have any current opportunities available that are a good fit for you.

Partnering With Collage By Joining The Team

At Collage we have a team of wonderful people committed to finding beauty in the unexpected. While it’s not often we have a job opening, occasionally one of our team moves on to pursue other opportunities, whether that be another position, more time with family or a move out of town. When we do have an opening, we post that on our website. So if you’re interested in working at Collage feel free to check there for any opportunities.

We really couldn’t do what we do without the support of our community and those who also believe that there is beauty and value in everyone, sometimes just waiting to be discovered. If you believe that and you’re interested in getting involved with Collage in any of these ways, please feel free to click on the relevant heading for more info or give us a call at either location.

I’m Not Ready For Sex, But He Is

Mon, 26 Jan 2015 11:00:00 GMT

Dear Collage,

I’m not ready. Yet. We’ve been dating for several months, longer than most of our friends and some of them are, but I don’t think I’m ready. It’s not that I don’t love him, I’m just not ready for sex and he is. How do I handle this? Thanks.

- Not Ready

Dear Not Ready,

Your situation is one many young women struggle with. They are trying to figure out how they feel about their guy, what their relationship is, and where it might go. For most, it’s not just about whether or not to have sex; it’s about who they are and who they want to be. It’s about not only the present, but also the future. As they sit and talk about their questions and what they are thinking and feeling, it’s amazing how they find the answers as they talk it out.

So, let’s talk. We’re not holding back on this because it’s an important topic and we think you alone should make this decision for you. Here are a few questions for you to think about.

What’s the status of your relationship in general?

You mentioned that you’ve been dating for several months, but how long you’ve been in a relationship isn’t a gage on how serious the relationship is. There are several things to factor in as you evaluate your relationship. Things like the level of trust, how well you communicate, and a respect for each other are better measurements of the status of a relationship that time passed. As for sex, well that doesn’t necessary make for a deeper, more intimate relationship either. Sure, sexual intimacy, in the right context, can strengthen a relationship. But if you engage in sex too early it can also do considerable harm to your relationship. Physical intimacy can replace emotional intimacy, stunting the growth of the relationship and causing a great deal of pain and frustration as a result of unmet expectations.

Have you clearly communicated your boundaries?

Does he know how you feel and where your comfort zone ends? Sometimes you just have to be blunt and let him know what you are comfortable with, just tell him you’re not ready for sex. It’s always best to have this conversation and set your boundaries before you are in a situation where they are being pushed. Let him know where you stand and what will happen if he pushes you. What is his reaction? Sure he might say all the right things, but what does he do? Is he respectful, staying clear of those boundaries, or does he keep pushing to see how close he can get, or if he can get past them? You’ll be amazed how much more respect you’ll have for your guy when he knows your limits and doesn’t push the boundaries.

Is he manipulating you to guilt you into sex?

“I love you so much, and if you love me as much as I love you, you’d want to have sex.” If he says anything that remotely resembles that sentence it’s probably time to start rethinking this relationship. If he loved you as much as he says he does, he would respect the boundaries you have set. Clearly that’s not the case and he just demonstrated he cares way more about himself than you. You deserve someone who puts you first.

Are you afraid he will leave or cheat?

If the thought that he might break up with you if you don’t have sex has crossed your mind, you’re not alone. Many women worry that if they don’t give in and have sex the guy will leave, or worse cheat on her. If this is something that you’re worried about, than you may want to revisit our first question about the status of the relationship. This is a sign of a lack of trust and respect for your boundaries

Do you need to end the relationship?

If he keeps pushing after you’ve been clear you’re not ready for sex it may be time to end things. You may realize he doesn’t respect you and is more concerned with his physical needs than your emotional needs and decide to break up. He may realize that he’s not going to get what he wants and he may end it. After several months together, no matter how it ends it will hurt. But hopefully you can take some comfort in knowing that ending it now is a lot less painful than being in a long term relationship with someone who doesn’t respect and honor you, and who constantly pushes you to do things you’re not ready for.

Do you need someone to talk this through with?

If you’re in this situation and want to talk with someone, we’d love to invite you to come to Collage and meet with one of our staff. They will help you work through these and any other questions you may have. In the end, our goal is to help you make the best decision for you, not what someone else wants for you. Because in the end, the decision whether or not to have sex should always be yours.

STD Testing and Treatment – What Should I Expect?

Mon, 19 Jan 2015 11:00:00 GMT

You’re a little concerned. You recently had sex and were relieved when you started your period. But now you’ve noticed an itch, or maybe you’re just worried your partner might have passed on a little something more than you bargained for. You heard from a friend that Collage offers STD testing and treatment for both men and women, but you’re not sure what to expect and you’re hesitant to make an appointment. Well, we hope this post answers some of your concerns and lets you know we’d love to help you.

Do I need STD Testing?

If you’re sexually active, the answer is yes. STDs are so common! It’s estimated that 1 in 2 sexually active young people will have an STD by age 25. So if you’ve been sexually active you’re at risk. This includes oral sex, vaginal sex, or anal sex. One of the reasons so many young people have STDs is because many people don’t show any symptoms and they go undetected. This allows someone to be infected and not know it, passing on the STD to new partners. And if you have an STD and don’t get treated, you’re putting yourself and others at risk for additional health issues that may affect both men and women. Some of these risks can include infertility, an increased risk of cancer, as well as a higher chance of getting additional STDs. It’s also important to know that most doctors don’t include STD testing in your annual exam unless you specifically ask for it. And there isn’t one test you can run to detect all STDs.

How Does Collage do STD testing?

Collage offers testing and treatment for two of the most common bacterial STDs – chlamydia and gonorrhea. We try to make the testing appointment as easy as possible for you. We know this isn’t something you’re looking forward to and we want to make you as comfortable as possible. You’ll need to bring a photo ID and there will be a little paperwork to fill out, but since all of our services are complimentary you won’t have to deal with insurance forms. We’ll get a medical history and have you provide a urine sample. You’ll have an opportunity to share how you’re feeling with the medical professional and ask any questions you may have about STDs or other sexual health issues.

How soon will I know my results?

It typically takes us 5-7 days to get your results back from the lab. We’ll give you a call when we receive your results, and schedule you for a follow-up appointment if you test positive for chlamydia and/or gonorrhea. If you test negative, we can go over your results over the phone.

What if I’m positive?

We’ll have you come in to be treated. The treatment will depend on whether you’re positive for chlamydia, gonorrhea, or both. Once we administer the antibiotic, we’ll ask you to stay for a little bit to make sure you don’t have a reaction to the medication. We’ll also recommend that you refrain from any form of sex for 7-10 days from the date or treatment to prevent infecting anyone else. It’s also recommended that you inform any partners to come in to get tested.

If you need to get tested or have any questions, feel free to contact us at either our Kearney or Grand Island locations.

Domestic Violence – 4 Signs You Should Be Looking For

Mon, 05 Jan 2015 20:51:00 GMT

Domestic violence has been in the news quite a bit this past year. Perhaps the biggest story was NFL star Ray Rice and his then fiancé, and now wife, Janay. The story of his abuse was all over social media and the news. It also prompted the following video of NFL players created by NoMore.org.

But even with all the awareness, it still happens, and it can happen to anyone. If you find yourself experiencing physical or emotional abuse, or even threats in a relationship, you should seek immediate help. Recognizing the signs of abuse and acknowledging it is happening are the first steps to putting an end to it.

When we think of domestic abuse, we often think men are the ones committing the violence. That’s not always the case. This year we also saw Hope Solo, the female American soccer gold medalist, face charges for domestic violence .

Often relationships that end in abuse don’t begin that way. The abuser may come off as a nice, normal, caring person. The victim doesn’t know what is in store until the abuse begins and the abusers true nature is revealed. Looking back, they can often see some early warning signs that they overlooked. These signs aren’t a guarantee that the relationship is headed toward abuse, but together they should raise some red flags for you.

4 Domestic Violence Signs You Should Be Looking For

There is a Lack of Respect

During the initial phase of your relationship, they will be very respectful, after all they are trying to get you to like them. They may treat other people poorly though. If you see them being disrespectful or angry towards people in service roles, people they may feel they are above, it should raise some concerns. Also, listen to how they talk about others, especially those close to you. They may try to distance you from the people you love through their words, isolating you from people who might see things headed in a bad direction. Another indication is how they talk about past relationships. Do they accept responsibility for a failed relationship? Do they call their former partners disrespectful names? If they demean and disrespect others, they will eventually do the same to you. If you notice these things, it may be time to rethink your relationship.

They Say It’s Always Your Fault

When things go wrong, do you get all the blame? Abusers usually want to feel and be seen as superior to everyone else. They often have unrealistic expectations that can never be met and when those expectations are unfulfilled they blame others. If every time something goes wrong it is your fault, and they never accept any of the blame, you need to ask yourself why.

There Is A Need For Speed

As the relationship begins to grow, an abuser may want to move it along more quickly than you are comfortable with. They need to know you are committed before they can gain control. If you have thoughts that it is moving too fast, don’t ignore them; they may be a warning sign. An abuser will want to take the fast track to an exclusive relationship and often will use sex as a way to get there more quickly. If you’re feeling pressure to do something you’re not ready for, or to enter into an exclusive relationship, find a trusted friend, a mentor or even your parent to talk to.

Your Partner Is Controlling

While this can show up early in a relationship, usually as selfishness and a desire to make all the decisions, more often it happens after a commitment to the relationship has been made. They may try to influence or control your other relationships, isolating your further from friends and family. The abuser may be very possessive. It often turns into them checking up on you, having to know where you are and who you are with at all times, As the need for control grows, often the abuse begins. If you start to see some of these signs, again, be careful and take a long hard look at the relationship.

Find Some Guidance and Help

If you notice any of these signs, we encourage you to examine the relationship. We also realize that in most cases of abuse, the victim isn’t able to see what is happening clearly. Because of that we also want to encourage you to find someone to talk to, either someone close to you that you trust or a professional, if you notice these signs. And because the abuser is usually really good at hiding who they really are, those close to you may not see the signs. Even if others don’t see it you should always trust your gut instinct if you feel that something is wrong. The longer you stay, the more danger you face and the more difficult it may be to get out of the relationship.

If you do need someone to talk with, our staff is always available and we can provide referrals to other organizations and counselors who can help you with the resources and guidance you need.

12 Sex Myths Debunked

Mon, 29 Dec 2014 12:00:00 GMT

Sex has been around for a little while, so you’d think we would have it figured out by now. But there’s a lot of information and misinformation out there. Some of that information comes in the form of old wives tales told from generation to generation, some from old information that has been disproved, and some from rumors that are spread around the world via a click of the mouse. It seems that as long as people are having sex there will be myths as well.

12 Sex Myths Debunked

Sex Myth #1 – Everyone is having sex.

Reality: There are far less people having sex than you probably think. Studies show that the average age people first have sex is 17 and that 30% of people haven’t had sex at all by the age of 20. Waiting until you’re older isn’t strange or weird; it’s actually fairly normal.

Sex Myth #2 – A girl can’t get pregnant or catch an STD if the guy pulls out.

Reality: It’s not that simple. First, “pulling out” isn’t an effective means of preventing STDs, which can be transferred by skin-to-skin contact. As for pregnancy, while it can reduce the chances of getting pregnant, it is much less effective than other methods of birth control.

Sex Myth #3 – You can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex.

Reality: Your sperm and eggs have no idea if it’s the first or 500th time you’ve had sex – it just doesn’t work that way. If you’re having vaginal sex, there is a chance you can get pregnant, even before you’ve had your first period. Which takes us to Myth #4.

Sex Myth #4 – You can’t get pregnant while you’re having your period.

Reality: While it’s not common, it’s possible. See note above about if you’re having vaginal sex. The reason this is possible is sometimes those sperm like to hang out, sometimes for up to six days, to see if an egg shows up.

Sex Myth #5 – You can’t get pregnant if you have sex in a hot tub, pool, the ocean, or any other random body of water.

Reality: There are plenty of people walking around who were conceived in pools and hot tubs. There is nothing about water that will prevent pregnancy once sperm have entered a vagina. Another related myth is that you can get pregnant from a pool or hot tub that has sperm in the water. This is also false.

Sex Myth #6 – Oral and anal sex are safe, and they aren’t really sex.

Reality: Both oral and anal sex put you at risk for STDs. If it can be passed through vaginal sex, it can almost always be passed through oral and anal sex as well. Some of the more common STDs that are transmitted this way are genital herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, hepatitis B and HIV. While the risk of contracting a STD through oral sex is lower compared to vaginal and anal sex, any sex with someone with an STD is risky.

Sex Myth #7 – If I use birth control I don’t have to worry about STDs.

Reality: Births control can be very effective in preventing pregnancy but most do little to nothing to prevent STDs. The pill, the patch, Depo, the ring and IUDs do nothing keep you from catching an STD, including HIV. Condoms do offer some protection, but are not 100% effective, especially on skin-to-skin contact in the area a condom doesn’t cover.

Sex Myth #8 – If my partner had an STD I would know it.

Reality: Most people who have an STD don’t have any symptoms. So because your partner doesn’t have any outbreaks, doesn’t mean they don’t have an STD, and that you shouldn’t worry about it. In fact, you may have a STD and transfer it to your partner without knowing. This is the main reason STDs are so common and so dangerous because ether aren’t diagnosed and treated.

Sex Myth #9 – Once you have an STD there’s nothing you can do about it.

Reality: Many STDs, such as gonorrhea and chlamydia, are bacterial in nature and can be cured once they are diagnosed with simple antibiotics in a week or two. Others are viral and though they can’t be cured, the symptoms can be treated. These viral STDs include HIV, HPV, herpes and hepatitis. People who have these viral STDs can live long lives with the care of their doctors.

Sex Myth #10 – Once you have an STD and it’s treated you can’t get it again.

Reality: As mentioned under Myth #9, many STDs can be treated with antibiotics. However, once they are cured you can get them again by engaging in sexual contact with an infected partner. If you are diagnosed with an STD and get treatment, your partner should also be tested to prevent you from getting it again. You should also be tested if you start having sex with a new partner.

Sex Myth #11 – STD testing is for people who cheat or sleep with many partners.

Reality: Anyone who has sex in any form, regardless of the number of partners they or their partner have had, is at risk for STDs, including HIV. Statistics say that by the age of 25, 1 in 2 sexually active people will have an STD. That’s right, half. And most won’t even know it. We don’t like those odds, and you probably don’t either.

Sex Myth #12 – If I needed to get tested for STDs my doctor would do it.

Reality: Don’t assume that when your doctor draws blood for testing during your routine exam they are testing you for STDs. Most doctors don’t offer routine STD and HIV testing unless you specifically ask for it. And ladies, a Pap test does not test for STDs. Getting tested for STDs if you are sexually active is important because you can’t treat them if you don’t know you have them. And many STDs when left untreated can have lasting effects such as infertility, and also place you at greater risk for getting cancer. If you aren’t comfortable talking to your regular doctor about STD testing or you don’t have a regular doctor, Collage offers complimentary STD testing and treatment for gonorrhea and chlamydia, two of the most common STDs.

We hope you found this information about 12 sex myths helpful. Our goal is to provide accurate information so you can make informed decisions about your sexual health. If you think you might be pregnant or have an STD we would love to talk to you and provide you with our complimentary testing services. Knowing for sure puts you in control. Once we know your status, we have staff who are available to help you process the results and talk through all your options. If you would like to schedule an appointment for a test to talk to someone, please contact our office.

My Daughter’s Pregnant – One Mom’s Story: Part 2

Mon, 08 Dec 2014 12:00:00 GMT

This week’s post continues the story from a mom of one of our Collage clients. She was gracious enough to share her experience of finding out her daughter was pregnant in the hopes of helping other parents who are faced with the same news. We are thankful for her willingness to share and to support her daughter through one of the most difficult decisions a young woman can make. You can read Part 1 of her story here .

I distinctly recall the day that my husband and I left the hospital with my oldest daughter for the first time. I arrived at home, extraordinarily tired with hormones in full swing. Between the roller coaster of emotional highs and lows, I kept thinking, “I can’t believe that after nine months of routine doctor’s visits, they are just going to trust me to suddenly take care of this tiny, fragile baby by myself. What are they thinking!?”.

But, she was good, and so easy. Nature was kind to us as we eased into parenthood. She was a baby, then a toddler, then a child who rolled with the punches. She had a sweet, easy going personality, never a care about anything, living in her own world. I remember thinking that something was bound to happen, that there was some reason she needed this laid back personality, some challenge that would test her patience. (That said, don’t get me wrong, I have never believed in fate or premonitions, and still don’t to this day. Her decisions were her own).

We found out that this personality would be both an incredible asset and, at times, a burden to her living in a world that routinely demands more attention, engagement, reality and confrontation than she is willing to give. The sky in her world is sunny, even on the darkest day. She smiles when others would not and, sometimes, she avoids the difficult things that must be done. She lives wearing rose-colored glasses with the enthusiasm of a three-year-old.

The “something” that challenged her was an unexpected pregnancy at 17 years old. We thought we had done it all, tried every way to protect her, kept lines of communication open and talked to her often about what could happen if she chose to be sexually active. But, it happened, potentially in part due to that easy going, no-worries, personality. And, as I’ve described in my last blog , it challenged her and everyone in our family.

Once my daughter decided to raise her child, we began the task of doing the best we could to help her prepare for what this new life may look like, a life that would be, for the first few years at least, lived in our home until she could obtain a degree and get her feet on the ground. Our roles and rules would now become very fuzzy, and after years of only knowing the role of “mom”, I would have to try to figure out a new role that included both mom and grandma; my husband, both dad and grandpa.

It wasn’t easy to prepare for; nothing ever is when you haven’t done it before. And, since my granddaughter first came home, there is the constant, persistent question…where is the line? When do I speak up about how my daughter parents? When do I stay quiet? When should I butt out and let her do it her way and when should I give “sage” advice? What is important to say and what is just a simple difference in how two mothers choose to raise children? How do we support her while holding her responsible? How often do we babysit? What do we do when our granddaughter runs to us when her Mom is trying to discipline her?

And, oh my, how do you deal with someone who is a mom (and a very good one), but who still has the brain of a teenager, complete with sometimes illogical thought patterns, moments of pure laziness and spontaneous decisions that make no sense to us as middle aged parents in our 40s? We love her, but like all parents, we struggle to understand her some days, especially when we compare her as a very young mom to the older parents we were. On those days, I try to put myself in a teen mom’s shoes. Everyone already doubts you, and to top it off, you must raise your child under a microscope with everyone giving you constant advice.

Another question we struggle with is how we help raise our grandchild while we are also raising her mama and our other daughter, who needs our attention, our love and to know that she is still a very special focus. Plus, help her know that this new life is not HER responsibility or her role when she, too, tries to put in her two cents about how the little one should be raised. Some days I think my granddaughter has three moms in the house.

These are all questions that don’t have an easy answer and, if you asked me one day, my answer may be different than the next. Some days I find that line, some days I not only step over it, but I grind it into the ground and end up besieged with regret for doing so. Some days we provide a safety net, some days a five-point harness.

Worry? Every single day in some form or another. We worry about our daughter’s future and if she will be able to make a living for herself and her daughter. We worry that we aren’t pushing our daughter hard enough, but also know her life decisions must be hers. We know there is not a lot of leeway for mistakes, like other college kids have. We worry about our granddaughter and what kind of relationship she will have with her biological father, whether he will be good to her and if he will be “there” for her.

When we found out our daughter was pregnant, we grieved for all that she would miss in life by becoming a mom before it was time. What we didn’t realize right away was how we, too, would grieve for the life we would not live. At times, I am jealous of all of the parents who have the excitement of taking their kids to college, attending parents’ day, watching their kids join fraternities, sororities, play college sports, have roommates…do the kind of things 19 year olds are supposed to do. She didn’t get the live-away college experience and, I guess, we didn’t get it either.

And, sometimes, we grieve for the grandparents we can’t be. “Grandchildren are great! And, you can spoil them and send them home!”, the “other” grandma has stated excitedly more than once. I agree, grandchildren are great, and I love mine more than life itself. But, guess what? She doesn’t go home at the end of the day. She stays here, in our home. If we choose to spoil her, we, too, live with the consequences of a child who has been fed candy all day, never told “no” and stayed up to the wee hours of the morning.

At first, when the “other” grandma was buying fun outfits and toys while excitedly awaiting the baby’s birth, we were spending our money on things our granddaughter would absolutely need, reorganizing our home to make room for her, paying legal fees for development of a parenting agreement and, creating a new budget that left room for daycare expenses while my daughter attended classes, something we never thought we’d have to worry about again. I had to help ensure that my daughter was learning the skills needed to be a mom. At first, in my mind, the father’s mom got to be a grandma in every sense of the word, and I did not. (Later, she, too, would help with our granddaughter’s needs, and would become key in helping her son begin to learn how to father).

Even with all of these concerns, I have been absolutely blessed to see my granddaughter day in and day out, to experience nearly every single moment, and to develop a relationship with her that is strong and close. I often call her my BFF (best friend forever) and we adore each other. I get to spend evenings reading books, doing Ring-Around-the-Rosie, reciting Little Bunny Foo-Foo and rocking a chubby little toddler in my arms until she softly snores away. I get to experience the sheer joy of having a little girl squeal with delight and dance her way into my arms every night after work. I get to hear her say, “Hiiiii!” in a voice that is pure love, surprise and excitement every time she sees me and it melts my heart. In a way, I get a second chance to do things better than I did the first time around and appreciate the time more, even though I am not the mom. And, some days, that is hard to remember, since it is the only role I have ever had with a little person living in my home.

So, now what happens when my daughter does decide it’s time to move away and start her life? I know it needs to happen, it must happen…and I want it to happen more than anything. Some days, I am excited to have the house to ourselves and not walk this crazy line somewhere between parent and grandparent day in and day out…to lose the responsibility. But, I already know my heart will shatter the day they say, “good-bye”. There will be a void that will be hard to fill when I become just “grandma” and my tiny BFF leaves us to go live in her own house with just her mama. How will my heart mend? How will her heart mend? How will I once again redefine my role?

STD Quiz – Are you at Risk?

Sat, 22 Nov 2014 16:24:00 GMT

No one wants to talk about STDs.

It can be an uncomfortable, embarrassing topic. We get that. But it’s also one that can be life changing and even deadly, so we’re okay with a little discomfort and embarrassment. Why? Because statistics tell us that 1 in 2 sexually active teens will contract a STD by the time they are 25. That’s right, half. How? Because many won’t know they even have a STD and will pass it on to each new partner.

That’s why it’s so important to get testing and treatment if you’re at risk. At Collage, we want to take the discomfort and embarrassment out of the process. We want you to have a place where you can ask questions and get the answers you need. We want to provide testing and treatment that puts your overall health first and foremost. So take this STD quiz and find out if you’re at risk.

STD Quiz

Have you been diagnosed with a STD such as Chlamydia or Gonorrhea in the past 2 years?
Have you had vaginal sex in the past 12 months?
Have you had oral sex in the past 12 months?
Have you had anal sex in the past 12 months?
If yes to questions 2, 3, or 4, has it been more than 12 months since you had a STD test?
Have you had multiple sex partners?
Have you exchanged bodily fluids: semen, vaginal fluids, or blood?
Have you touched your sex organs after touching your partner’s sex organs?

If you answered yes to one or more of the questions in the STD quiz, you’re at risk for having a STD. If you answered no, you may still be at a lower risk. STDs can also be transmitted through indirect sexual contact between partners such as skin-to-skin contact. They can also be transferred through kissing if one partner has been infected after oral sex.

While condoms can provide some protection for a few STDs, they aren’t 100% effective for any. If you’ve been sexually active, the only to know for sure whether you have a STD is to get tested.

STD Testing and Treatment

Collage is offers testing and treatment for Chlamydia and Gonorrhea, two of the most common STDs. If you think you may be at risk we recommend refraining from any sexual contact until you have been tested and cleared. Please contact us to talk about testing options or to schedule an appointment.

Is There A Way To Know You’re Pregnant Before You Miss A Period?

Sat, 08 Nov 2014 12:00:00 GMT

A Missed Period.

That was the sign.

For some women it was the sign that the months of trying to have a baby might be over. For others, the sign that all the precautions hadn’t worked. But are there other signs that you might be pregnant before you miss a period?

Well, there are some pretty consistent symptoms that many women begin experiencing shortly after they become pregnant that can be early warning signs. When a few of these symptoms start combining, it can be a sign that you’re pregnant. The problem, many of these symptoms are similar to those you would get just prior to your period so there’s no guarantee. But if you’re experiencing some or all of these signs and you think you might be pregnant it might be time to give us a call at Collage for a test and possibly an ultrasound to make sure.

5 Signs You Might Be Pregnant Before You Miss A Period

1 – Nausea

If you’re feeling queasy and the slightest odd odor sends you running for the bathroom, it can be a sign of pregnancy. Often called morning sickness, this feeling can happen at any time of the day. Most of the time this only lasts through the first trimester and some women are lucky enough to escape it altogether.

2- Food Craving and Aversion

If all of a sudden you start wanting foods that seem a little odd, or you just can’t seem to get enough of something, that can be a sign that you body is preparing for pregnancy. Also, if all of a sudden your favorite foods just don’t sound, taste or smell good that can also be a sign.

3- Fatigue

If you notice that you’ve been really tired lately, that your energy seems to have been zapped, and you just want to nap all the time, you might be pregnant.

4- Tender Breasts

We’re not talking chicken breasts either. This is like the soreness you would feel before your period, but multiplied. It’s a sign your body is making transitions to start the milk production machine.

5- Peeing

If you seem to be spending more time in the ladies room than anywhere else it can be a sign your pregnant. As your hormones change, blood flow through your kidneys will make you have to go all the time.

How Soon Can I Take A Test?

Obviously none of these sings are definite confirmation that you’re pregnant, even if you are experiencing all of them. The only sure way to know you’re pregnant is a pregnancy test and/or an ultrasound. Pregnancy tests have come a long way over the years and the waiting and waiting to find out for sure is a thing of the past. Today’s test can give accurate results 7-10 days after sex. So if you’re experiencing any of these symptoms and think you might be pregnant, give us a call to schedule a complimentary pregnancy test.

OMG I Think I Might Be Pregnant!

Sat, 25 Oct 2014 18:05:00 GMT

Dear Collage,

I’ve been going out with this guy for a few months. We have used every precaution before having sex. We even have a back up method for birth control! Now it has been a week since I should have started my period and I haven’t started yet. I’m FREAKING out. I don’t even know if I like this guy all that much and now this. I think I might be pregnant. Can you help me?

Please answer soon,

Dear OMG I Think I Might Be Pregnant,

Thanks for contacting us. Try to stay calm and let’s figure this out together. First, some facts. You can get pregnant at any time using any method of birth control. It can even happen even if he doesn’t ejaculate. No birth control method is one hundred percent effective. We know, not the answer you were looking for, but it’s the truth. Having sex is risky.

But let’s look at your situation and walk through the steps to determine the likelihood that you’re pregnant.

Find out the date of your last period.

This is important information in determining when you were ovulating. You can get pregnant more likely immediately after the halfway point, or 14 days, from your last period. Of course every girl is different, but if you have an idea of the timeframe this will help.

What is your body saying to you?

Are you experiencing morning sickness or nausea?
Are your breasts more tender than normal?
Are you exhausted?
Are you peeing a lot?

Not all these are for-sure signs that you are pregnant, but they are early indicators.

Have you already taken a pregnancy test and if so what were the results?

Come in and take a free pregnancy test.

We know the last thing you want to do is come in and take a pregnancy test and share the results with complete strangers. But even if you have taken a home test and it came back positive, you still should take another test just to be sure. If it does come back positive there will be someone to give you accurate information, and to listen if you need to talk.

We can also get you scheduled for a follow up ultrasound appointment to verify the viability of the pregnancy. Up to 25% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, so an ultrasound is the best next step after a positive pregnancy test.

Please understand that it’s important to get medical help soon if you are pregnant.

We’re here for you and we can help. Give us a call in Kearney or Grand Island and let’s find out if you’re pregnant and then we can help you process what the best next steps are for you.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss – Saying Goodbye

Sat, 18 Oct 2014 10:00:00 GMT

Every October we recognize Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It’s not a day most people know about, let alone take time to recognize, but it’s an important day for those who have lost a child. At Collage, as we work with women and men facing the reality of an unplanned pregnancy, we also want to remember those in our community who are dealing with the loss of a child through miscarriage, abortion, or as an infant.

For some women, a lost child is something you have kept to yourself, not sharing the grief with anyone else. For others, you have a community of support around you, helping take care of you. In either case, it is a hard road to walk, and one that only someone else who has experienced that loss can truly understand. We want you to know that you’re not alone and that if you ever need someone to talk to we’re here for you at Collage.

If you weren’t aware of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, we hope you take some time to either remember yourself or hug a friend who has experienced a loss.

We recently came across this video and thought it might be helpful.

How We Provide Complimentary Ultrasounds

Sat, 11 Oct 2014 14:16:00 GMT

“You mean we don’t have to pay — anything?” It’s a question we hear pretty often at Collage when clients are scheduling their appointments for our ultrasound services. We want to share a little with you about how we are able to pull it off.

Complimentary versus Free

Free is a four-letter word and we don’t care for it much. When it comes to our services it gives the wrong impression. Most people associate free with poor quality and a “least you can get by with” approach. If you’ve ever visited one of our offices, you know that’s not us. Free also isn’t an accurate description. Sure, we don’t charge our clients for ultrasounds, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a cost. Someone had to pay for the ultrasound machine, the supplies, and the time our ultrasound techs spend with clients, and reviewing results. All of that definitely isn’t “free.”

So why and how can we provide complimentary ultrasounds?

We care.

The staff at Collage truly cares about you. But it goes beyond that. When we say we care we mean everyone who makes it possible for us to serve our communities. Those people are our board of directors, our volunteers, and our financial supporters. They are your neighbors, your friends, and many people you have never and may never meet. They care so much about helping women that they provide the resources for us to accomplish our mission. We think it’s important for you to know that there are many people in Kearney, Grand Island, and the surrounding communities that care about you. They are the ones who make it possible for you to come into one of our Collage offices and receive the assistance you need.

Doesn’t the government fund you?

No, we’re 100% privately funded. The majority of our funding comes from individuals who want to help those facing unexpected circumstances. Any grants we apply for and receive come from private family or business foundations. It’s not that we think government funding is bad. We just don’t want to become dependent on funding that might not be available as government budget cuts occur. Our services are too important to our community to put them at risk by relying on government funding.

We have fantastic volunteers.

Not all of our support comes in the form of a check. We have many volunteers both their skills and time to allow us to better serve you. Sometimes those volunteers are peer counselors and sometimes they are medical professionals who come to Collage on their day off to assist our clients. We’re blown away by how much these volunteers care and want to help serve our community.

We have former clients who needed free pregnancy tests and are now giving back.

Although we don’t expect it or ask for it, women and men who have needed our services in the past have found hope through our organization. Sometimes years, even decades later, they come back wanting to help others who find themselves in the same situation and do so by either volunteering or supporting us financially.

We have amazing partnerships with local businesses and community groups.

There are many organizations throughout Central Nebraska that support Collage. Sometimes they do this volunteering, paying for our supplies—like our pregnancy tests, underwriting special trainings, or paying for our marketing materials. Sometimes local businesses offer us discounts for their services and sometimes they give financial or physical gifts. Our ultrasound services, which confirm viable pregnancies after a positive pregnancy test, are a beautiful example of a gift given through community groups. It isn’t just individuals who support Collage, but it is also long-standing, familiar organizations that you encounter every day.

We hope this helps answer your questions and concerns about how we can offer free ultrasounds and other services to our community and we want you to know that if you ever need our help we’re here for you.

My Daughter’s Pregnant – One Mom’s Story

Mon, 29 Sep 2014 10:00:00 GMT

This week’s post comes from a mother of one of our Collage clients. She was gracious enough to share her experience of finding out her daughter was pregnant in the hopes of helping other parents who are faced with the same news. We are thankful for her willingness to share and to support her daughter through one of the most difficult decisions a young woman can make.

I never know how to describe that moment. Some days, I will tell you that once I heard the news my brain froze. Other days, I will say my mind raced a thousand miles per hour. What I know for sure is that there was very little coherent linear thought as I stood there for several long minutes living in both the present and the future, watching as my dreams for my daughter were seemingly jerked away.

It had been a long month. Not only were we preparing for our daughter’s high school graduation, but I was working 60 hour weeks on a grant proposal that had the potential to bring our small not-for-profit association hundreds of thousands of dollars. I was in the middle of a conference call at my home office, barely 24 hours before the proposal was due, when I saw my daughter’s car pull up in the driveway. She and her boyfriend got out and my immediate thought was, “Oh, they must have decided to eat lunch here today.” Holding the phone to my ear, I leaned out, said a quick “hello” and told her I’d be off in a minute. When I hung up the phone and opened my door, they both stared back at me from the hallway. She said six words, “We need to talk to you”…and I knew. The first sentence out of my own mouth, uttered several times in succession, was, “You have got to be kidding me!”. She quietly, wordlessly shook her head no.

That’s when everything froze. Silence filled the air as I turned my back to them both. Somewhere in the shock, as the world screeched to a halt, one single semi-logical thought fought its way to the surface: whatever I said at that moment would live forever in both her memory and mine. In 30 seconds, I might completely shatter our relationship if I said the wrong thing. So, I chose silence.

She will tell you that the silence scared her the most, and that it may have been the longest minutes of her life. I can only imagine the fear in her heart.

That was the first step of a journey the calendar reflects began for us nearly two years ago, but feels like a lifetime ago. My daughter has her own story about her unexpected pregnancy, but this story is mine, from a parent’s perspective.

I will tell you that the first days were excruciating. There was not a single moment that went by when the situation wasn’t on my mind, even as the rest of our lives had to move ahead, even as the grant proposal had to be finished, dinner had to be made, homework had to be done and we had to be there supporting our other daughter, as well. My illusion of control over life was shattered, I wasn’t sure what the future held or how I would help my young, teenaged daughter navigate what would become the biggest decision of her life. In the back of my brain every emotion played on a constantly running loop day and night. Helplessness. Love. Anger. Resentment. Sadness. Fear. Fear for her, for the baby, for us, for the decisions that had to be made, for the unknown. And, guilt. Heart-wrenching, stomach-churning guilt for having failed miserably to protect her from herself. How could I have let this happen?

The next weeks were filled with activity…I did anything I could do to start to put order to the chaos that seemed to be our lives at that time. Calls were quickly made to insurance and to the doctor. We found out that while our family health insurance would cover me if I had dozens of babies, it would not cover her costs as a dependent mother-to-be (apparently 70% of insurance companies at the time did not pay for dependent maternity care). From there began a long journey of navigating a public system we had never had a reason to know anything about. Nor, honestly, ever wanted to. In the end, we accepted help, knowing that any serious medical complication for mama or baby had the potential to spin our family, any family, into bankruptcy. Expensive insurance, carefully put into place and barely used in the past by our very healthy family, had failed us. Thank goodness a bill passed only months before the pregnancy, designed to insure the unborn children of illegal immigrants and young moms with the same insurance gap as ours, saved us.

Of course along with this came the doctor’s visits. How far along was she? Was the baby all right? I shook as I heard the heartbeat. I cried tears of fear when my daughter’s tummy measured too big for the projected date of birth. Was she farther along than we expected or, gulp, were there two babies? How would we handle that? And, what if, lacking early prenatal care, there was something horribly wrong? I didn’t sleep for several nights as I replayed the worst case scenarios in my head. In the end, I wept tears of joy and relief when two ultrasounds showed ONE HEALTHY little baby girl.

Through all of this, our biggest fear was the emotional toll this would take not only on our pregnant daughter, but on her younger sister, who was going through very intense emotions about the situation, as well. Having no idea whether my daughter would choose to place her child for adoption, or choose to raise her child, my husband and I knew that we did not have the background needed to help her prepare for a decision I myself could not imagine making. Nor could we prepare her, ourselves or our other daughter for the aftermath of that decision. Luckily, when we reached out, we found amazing resources throughout our community ready to support us, guide us and just listen to us.

Finally, we needed to tell our families, our friends, and our neighbors. We made phone calls and wrote long, thought-filled emails. We feared judgment as we sat on the edge of our seats awaiting responses; instead, we received absolute and unconditional support and love that continues to this day.

I thank goodness that our little family did not face this alone; I thank goodness that my daughter did not face this alone. I also feel absolutely blessed that my daughter found Collage before she found the courage to tell us. They counseled her, held her tight and gave her strength and hope before we even knew about the situation. For that, I will be forever grateful and faithful to their mission; they will always hold a place in my heart.

As I look back, I will tell you that while the intensity of the emotions subsided, there was nothing easy about the situation; it isn’t easy now and it won’t be easy in the future. This new reality has led us down some roads we thought we would never travel. We’ve learned how to navigate systems we never thought we would know anything about. We’ve had to make tough decisions and we’ve had to repeatedly redefine our roles as both parents and grandparents. The situation drew our family closer on some days, and pushed us farther apart on others. It made my daughter and I best friends most of the time, but also worst enemies in rougher moments.

Yet, as I sit here typing while my young granddaughter sleeps, tucked away with her also-young Mommy two floors away, I know that while a mistake created her, she herself is no mistake. She is the picture of her mama, her mama’s own mini-me. She is big round eyes and belly-shaking giggles; angry cries and gap-toothed smiles; chubby fingers, wiggly toes and sleepy snuggles. She’s learned how to give kisses and she pats us on the back when she hugs us. She howls in fits of laughter as she chases our dogs across the yard. And on cool days, she brings us a fake fur coat with diamond buttons to put on her before she drives her plastic car across the driveway. My phone’s memory is full of pictures of her and every little thing she does. She is surrounded by love and is the embodiment of love. She rules this house, and it is more alive than it ever was before she existed. Oh, and if you couldn’t tell, I love her with every fiber in my body.

I wish I could end this story now with the words, “and, we lived happily ever after”, but we all know that isn’t reality because life is messy and many of our worries from the first day we found out about our sweet girl are still present today. On a later blog, I will talk more about that.

As I end, I ask that you be thoughtful with your comments; the anonymity the internet provides sometimes allows people to lash out without thought about how those comments affect the hearts and minds of their targets. Our decisions may not have been yours. Sharing our story so publicly creates a vulnerability I’m not sure I am ready for, yet I know that others are in our situation and I want to do anything I can do to just say to other parents, “you are not alone” regardless of the choices you and your children make. Life will go on, and sometimes the unexpected does become something very beautiful indeed.

Hanging Out and Hooking Up – Is It Getting Old?

Mon, 15 Sep 2014 13:01:00 GMT

We live in a hook up culture. Like it or not, we do. You’ve likely read the news stories and blog posts discussing hooking up. Perhaps you’re experiencing it first hand. Dating has changed; some would say it’s gone altogether.

Gone are the days of waiting for someone to ask you out on a “date,” the back and forth, the wondering,

“Will he call?”
“Will she say yes?”
“Where should I take her?”
“What will we talk about?”

Technology and cultural changes have made it possible to bypass almost all the steps and go straight to sex. It’s easy now, maybe a little too easy. Less time involved in the preparation, less commitment, less risk of rejection. We understand that it appears fun and exciting. No fuss on where to go out, no vulnerability, no strings attached. But let’s dig deeper.

We have some questions we’d like to discuss openly and honestly because we care about you and your emotional and physical health.

What’s really going on with hooking up?

We’ve created a new status of “relationship” that aren’t relationships at all. The “un-date” or “non-date,” where he sends a text asking to “hang-out sometime,” is all too common. It’s an easy, low-risk way for a guy (or girl) to find an option for sex. An option, is that all you want to be? By participating, you’ve reinforced the culture and set expectations for yourself and for the guys in your life.

As we talk to women we find they often take part in hooking up because they think it is the only way to meet guys. And though they hook up often, they are hoping that it will lead to a boyfriend and the possibility of a long-term relationship. Can it happen? Sure, anything is possible. But does it? Rarely.

Often hook-ups are described as low-risk. Some think they help avoid the confusion and potential emotional pain that comes with real relationships. But have you considered that they are creating more problems for you?

What’s the downside of hooking up?

For one, you don’t get to experience intimacy. Deep down we all want to know and be known. And you miss out on getting to know someone, their favorite song, band, color, ice cream flavor, their hopes and fears. And you miss out on having someone know you, the real you, and loving you for it. All these things take time and effort and just aren’t possible if all you’re doing is hooking up. Why? Because when everything is physical, the conversations that foster relationships don’t usually happen. Expectations aren’t discussed and thus aren’t met. And the loneliness that often leads to hooking up in the first place grows deeper.

And then there is the health risk. You’ve seen the statistics that show 1-4 college students have a STI. We know you don’t think it can happen to you, but the odds say otherwise. That’s one of the reasons we’re adding STI testing to our services soon.

What’s a girl to do?

First, if you’re involved in hooking up, you need to ask yourself if you are enjoying it? Is this what you really want, or do you want more? We think you deserve more, but it has to be something you decide for yourself.

If you’ve decided you’re done playing the game, then it’s time for some changes and new boundaries. Quit answering texts about “getting together.” If he wants to spend time with you let him know he needs to make you a priority. Make him ask you out on an actual date, in person, with real words and a plan that he has for a fun evening out. No more texts like, “wanna hang out sometime this weekend – winky-face?” You need to be honest, set clear expectations and when you are together have real conversations. Spend some time getting to know him and let him get to know you. Go on an actual date.

Sometimes setting clear expectations lets the guy off the hook. We often hear girls say things like, “Well, he’s a guy, of course he wants this!” But does he? The culture has made it hard for guys to say no. What if he wants something more? He may want a meaningful relationship, but cultural expectations may have convinced him it’s impossible or not worth it. You’ll never know what possibilities are there for a relationship if you continue to play the hook up game.

What about the guys?

A final word to the guys reading this. Where are you in this mix? Sure, the hook up culture makes it easy to find sex. Is that all you want? Doesn’t it seem just a little selfish? Are you even considering her and her feelings? Her future? She’s probably going to be someone else’s wife someday. What if you treated her like you would want some other guy to treat your future wife? Would that change how you view hooking up? Maybe you’re ready for a change too. Here’s what you can do.

Yes, dating is different, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn from some of the “old ways.” If you’re looking for more from a relationship, show her she’s a priority. When you want to spend some time with her, ask her out. And by ask her out we mean for a specific day, at a specific time, to go to a specific place. Open doors for her. Talk to her. Listen to her. Get to know her. Find out what makes her tick, what makes her happy, and what breaks her heart. And then share those things about you with her. This is how relationships grow.

We said we wanted to discuss this with you and we mean it. We’d love to hear from you in the comments. If you’re single, you deal with the hook up culture daily. Share your thoughts or experiences and lets talk.

Childcare Options Part 2 – Finding The Right Fit

Mon, 11 Aug 2014 11:00:00 GMT

Preparing yourself for work or back to school is hard. We get it. Add in searching for childcare options and the stress-o-meter can hit overload. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with either too many or not enough childcare options we hope this post will help. But first, stop and take a deep breath. Let it out. Repeat. Now keep reading.

We want to build on our previous post about all the different types of childcare options available with some practical information to help you narrow down your search and find the best fit for you.

Referrals

Begin your search by asking friends, family, co-workers and other people you trust for recommendations based on their experience. Another simple way to get feedback is to post a message on social media. Friends are quick to give input and the information you receive will most likely be unfiltered, giving you an honest review of providers.

Research

Also, start doing your own research online. Look up day care providers close to your home as well as close to your work or school. You can also check up on these facilities to see if they’re a good fit for you based on the type and size of the operation. Do they post reviews online? Do they have pictures and staff bios? By taking a little bit of time with your online search, you can narrow your options down in no time.

Interviewing

Once you have narrowed your options down to 2-4 childcare providers you’ll want to meet them face to face for an interview. Call ahead and schedule time to talk with either the day care director or individual day care provider. Do some prep work prior to going to the interview and have a written list of questions you want answered with you at the meeting. This is the time to gather specific information, so be sure to ask a lot of questions like:

What is the cost and are there hidden fees?
What is the payment schedule – weekly, monthly?
Are they licensed?
How do they handle meals?
Are there scheduled naps?
What is their philosophy of discipline? Education?
How do they report incidents, accidents or illness to you?
What is the policy for sick days?

References

Be sure to get names and numbers of other moms with kids there and call them! Ask them about their experience and take some time to see if the provider is a good fit. Remember your child will be there every day, so this is time well spent. If they can’t give you references mark them off the list and move on to the next provider.

Take a Tour

While you are interviewing, ask for a tour of the facility if it is a childcare center. If it is someone’s personal home, ask to view where your child will be during the day. Is it clean and well organized? Do they have a specific area of the home dedicated to play and rest? Are the playgrounds safe? Where will meals be provided? Do they have their credentials posted? If it is an in-home facility, do they have the maximum number of children? How do the kids get along? At this point you’re trying to get a feel for if this is a good fit for you and your baby. If you don’t feel good about something you see, then ask more questions to narrow down your search.

Think It Over

After you have taken the time for the interview, give yourself a few days before making a decision if you can. Think about your options and weigh the pros and cons. Talk to friends and family about each option and get feedback. Once you’ve decided, make sure to get all of your paperwork (i.e. physicals, shot records, forms if you are qualified for government assistance, and releases) signed and returned to them so that there are no glitches on your first day. You want your focus will be on transitioning your child that day, not on logistics.

We hope this has been helpful to you. Have we missed anything? Please leave us your thoughts in the comments. It will be helpful to other moms as they search for childcare options.

Childcare Options Part 1 – What Type Is Right for You?

Wed, 06 Aug 2014 11:00:00 GMT

If you’re heading back to school this fall or even back to work, you may be feeling overwhelmed at the number of childcare options you have to consider. Which one is the best for your baby? Which one can you afford? Which one works with your schedule?

While there are several things to consider when determining what the best childcare options are for you and your unique situation, don’t let this freak you out. Take a deep breath! By simply answering a few questions about your needs and your budget you can decide what type of childcare is the right one for you and your kiddo.

3 Childcare Options

Let’s take a look at 3 different childcare options and see what the pros and cons are for each one.

Day Care Centers

This can cost you anywhere from $380-$1500 a month. The average cost is around $900, but you may qualify for government assistance, depending on your income.

The Pros: This is reliable, consistent option. Your child will have adequate supervision, socialization with other children, and the staff members are often trained in early childhood education. Also these facilities are licensed and regulated.
The Cons: There will be more than one child. They often have ridged pick up and drop off times, so if you need flexibility this could be an issue, they can often be full and they will not take your baby if they are sick.

In Home Day Care

The cost for an in home day care option can be anywhere from $300-$1000 a month. Again check, they may accept government assistance if you qualify.

The Pros: Your child is in a home-like environment. Kids still get to socialize, but often in a smaller group and they usually have flexible drop off and pick up times.
The Cons: If your home day care provider is sick, they may not have a backup. Also, children tend to get sick more often in this type of care. Sometimes the standards aren’t as strict in a home environment and more than likely they will be closed for holidays and vacations.

Nanny or Individual Care

The cost for private nanny usually runs $500-$700 a week.

The Pros: Your child will get individual attention in your own home, or at the nanny’s home. This arrangement tends to be more flexible, and your child is able to stay in familiar surroundings.
The Cons: This is the most expensive option and there is no nanny supervision. You must read up on the legal paperwork for taxes that has to be completed for hiring a nanny. If they decide to quit or get sick unexpectedly, you have no backup.

Another childcare option that is occasionally available is having a relative watch your child. You should treat this just like you would the nanny or individual care option. While this might be less expensive because often relatives refuse payment or offer reduced rates, you should keep in mind that this puts you in an employee/employer relationship with a loved one. That could get awkward over time. What if you have different opinions on discipline? What if it’s an older relative and they have a hard time keeping up with a young child? If this is an option for you just make sure you weigh all the pros and cons and don’t just jump at this one because seems like the easiest option.

In our next post we’ll talk more about childcare options, specifically how to find and interview a good provider. But until then, have we missed anything in this post? How did you decide what the best fit for you was out of all the childcare options? We’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Three Ways To Manage Morning Sickness

Mon, 14 Jul 2014 15:17:00 GMT

Odds are that if you’re pregnant at some point you’ll experience some form of morning sickness. But don’t let the name fool you. While some women experience the nausea and vomiting only after waking up, it can happen any time of the day.

The good news, the symptoms usually start to fade around 12-14 weeks as you transition into your second trimester. We know those first dozen or so weeks can seem like they last forever, so here are three ways to manage your morning sickness and make the first trimester fly by a little less yucky.

1. Go Slow in the Mornings

Try giving yourself more time to wake up and get into your morning routine. Rushing out of bed as soon as your alarm gets off and jumping in the shower may cause nausea to rear it’s ugly head first thing. Lie in bed for a few extra minutes. Think positive thoughts about your upcoming day. Give your mind and stomach time to wake up. Try eating a few crackers in bed to keep the acid in your stomach down. If it helps, prop yourself up with pillows to ease into an upright position. You’ve got this! Slow down and give your body a chance to fully wake up.

2. Eating Right

Everything you’ve probably come across in your reading says you should be eating right. But the last thing you want to do is put anything in your mouth! The first few weeks your body is making so many changes and nutrition is important. You may want to try to keep your diet bland. Try rice, baked potatoes, chicken broth, and plain fruits and veggies. Another trick to eating during this stage is eating small, frequent meals instead of three full meals a day. This helps you with the hormone changes and baby development as well. Be sure to drink plenty of water, and if you can’t keep it down plain, try to flavor it. You want to avoid dehydration especially if you’re throwing up regularly. Avoid too much sugar as well as greasy and spicy foods. And don’t lay down right after you’ve eaten a meal. It could make the nausea worse. Give yourself at least an hour after a meal before you take a nap or go to bed. This also helps if you’re experiencing heart burn.

3. Rest and Relax

Easier said than done right? Well it’s true. Your body is gearing up for a major event! Sleep. Go to bed early. Rest throughout the day. Put your feet up and don’t forget to breath. All of the extra work your body is doing to make a human is exhausting. Give in when you feel tired. Put on relaxing music if that helps you unwind. Take a cool bath if that feels good. Use calm smelling scents like mint or jasmine if you can stand them. We have some great suggestions for you to do to stay cool in the Summer heat that could also help you relax during this stage of your pregnancy. Check them out and see if any of those suggestions help you rest. Before you know it morning sickness should be gone or at least be less frequent. If you’re still experiencing it regularly by your second trimester, be sure to talk with your doctor. She or he may be able to provide you with Vitamin B6 to help you get over the nausea so that you can rest. Do you have some other ideas we did not list for helping you get over morning sickness? If so, be sure to leave them in our comment section for others to see.

5 Career Ideas for Single Moms

Mon, 30 Jun 2014 11:00:00 GMT

Deciding to parent a child on your own is a big step. Choosing a career path that will help you provide for your family is also a big decision for you at this stage of parenting. Maybe you’re still in high school and getting ready to consider a career path, or maybe you’re in the middle of college and now’s the time for you to evaluate if the major you’ve picked is the best for you and your baby.

The good news is there are many options that potentially fit your interests and talents. While there’s never guaranteed security in any work situation, we do have some recommendations and insights for career options that work well for single moms. But first, let’s look at some potential career pitfalls.

Three Potential Career Pitfalls

Avoid Scams

The first pitfall may seem obvious but it happens more than you think. You know the scene; you’ve been staying up late at night with a crying baby and the TV infomercial promises career success by just ordering the videos. Or your surfing the web and ads are popping up for the best training program ever! It’ll be easy they said. It is guaranteed to change your life. Next thing you know you have paid $200 for a scam. Don’t be fooled. Most of these products that promise career success on TV (and the internet) seldom work. The only thing they succeed at is marketing to people who are financially vulnerable.

Direct Sales Caution

You should also be weary of any direct sales pitch (also known as multilevel or relationship marketing) that promises you six figures in a short amount of time. We aren’t saying that all direct sales companies are bad, but be wise. If you aren’t naturally comfortable booking appointments or selling, it can become difficult for you to meet your goals. Also direct sales roles can require a good deal of money up front and require you to commit to extensive amounts of training. Truthfully, few people make it in direct sales. If you are being recruited, we suggest that you ask a lot questions. And if you’re still not sure, ask someone who knows you to meet with the person trying to recruit you. You will be glad you took the extra steps to find out if this is right for you.

Consider Educational Requirements

How long are you willing to go to school? You also need to consider how much money you have to invest in your education? By writing down your goals and what it will realistically take to reach them you can stay grounded. We want you to shoot for the stars, but get a game plan together.

If a career you’re considering requires you to take out a huge amount of student loans, is being in debt for the next 10-15 years your best option? Also you need to consider time. Ask yourself how much time you have to allow for school and work. What will childcare look like? Do you need to work a job short term to help you meet your long-term career goals? All of these questions, while they are hard and can seem overwhelming, are good to consider as you weigh the pros and cons.

Now that you’ve maneuvered some pitfalls and weighed the requirements, it’s time to start brainstorming a few career ideas. This is the fun part! These options, in no particular order, offer flexibility and pay fairly well — two things you should always consider when parenting on your own.

Five Career Ideas for Single Moms

Careers in Medical Field: Nurses, lab technicians, sonographers, physical therapists.

This will take education and time, but the pay off long term may be worth it. If you don’t do well with the sight of blood or sickness, you could also consider hospital administration. Positions in the health care industry are in high demand. Research your area and see if one would be a good fit for you.

Careers in IT: You don’t have to be male or a total geek to land a job in IT.

You may love computers and feel comfortable trouble shooting problems. Training for these jobs may be offered at a local community college, or tech school. There are also great online options for training in IT. Some companies may even offer to pay you while you get trained, if you agree to work for them for a set amount of time.

Teaching: Love kids? Love the learning process? Teaching offers a predictable schedule that will be in sync with your child’s in a few years.

The trade off is you don’t necessarily make much money. On the positive side, you will have benefits and if you love genuinely love teaching and kids this could be a great option for you to consider and it pays in ways that are beyond financial.

Virtual Assisting: Are you organized? Do you like to keep schedules and are you direct in your communication style?

Many companies now are outsourcing administrative assistants. The benefits of a job like this are flexibility in the amount of hours you work and being able to work from home. You will typically need to be able to take phone calls and appointments during work hours, so you may need to plan on having a baby sitter or day care for the first year that baby is home.

Web Site Development: This is similar to IT, but if you have a creative side, you could learn to design web sites.

With this skill you can become a freelancer and set your own hours. You will need basic marketing know how and a plan for promoting your services, but it could be a great job with the flexibility you need. This field is constantly changing so you will need to plan for staying up to date on the latest tech developments.

There are so many options for you consider when making a decision about what career path to take. We hope we’ve given you some fresh ideas you haven’t even thought about. Maybe we’ve triggered some ideas not on our list.

Keep us posted at Collage about what you decide! We love hearing from you.

Lose Those Baby Blues

Mon, 16 Jun 2014 11:00:00 GMT

It’s been a struggle, but you’ve made the decision to parent. You knew it was the right one for you. But now you’re home, it’s been a few days and you feel like you’re an emotional wreck.

The crying…the moodiness. At any given minute you go from extreme love and joy for your new baby, to wanting to rip someone’s head off. The emotional roller coaster can feel relentless after childbirth.

You’re not alone. Hormone changes, extreme exhaustion and feeling like you’re physically and emotionally overwhelmed are normal. We wanted to give you practical advice so Collage recently asked some new moms to share their best tips on how to lose those baby blues.

Before we share this advice, one thing to note is the baby blues usually happen a few days after giving birth and can last a few weeks. If you are experiencing extreme forms of depression over a longer period of time, you may be suffering from postpartum depression . You aren’t a bad mother for feeling this way. This is simply a complication that affects a number of women after childbirth. If you show symptoms of postpartum depression you need to see a medical professional. This will help you manage your symptoms and enjoy your baby.

So what did our new moms suggest for battling the baby blues? Here’s their advice in their own words. We think the practical tips they shared are pretty awesome!

I would say that women need to know that it’s okay to feel blue, that not every mommy will be head over heels in love with their babies, that babies can be kind of strange and ugly when they are born. Also keep in mind that you aren’t born a mother, you become one over time. It’s okay to ask for help from others, and it’s okay to put the baby in the car seat in the bathroom while you shower.

Get out of the house and go for a walk. Let a friend or parent take the baby for a little while and get some time for you. Talk to someone. If you are feeling something, don’t pretend that it isn’t real. Remember that even though it feels impossible it WILL get better. And above all, remember that if it gets bad enough, absolutely seek help.

Everyone says it, but rest when the baby rests. Don’t feel guilty about this! You need sleep. Don’t be temped to text, be on a computer, or watch TV when the baby naps. Take a nap as well.

Get sunshine. Join a positive mom’s Facebook group that can cheer you on even when you feel trapped inside.

Get out of the house at least once every day. I hate to say it, but going to my local big box store and just walking around with the baby tucked in her car seat in the cart saved my sanity some days.

Take a shower everyday. No matter what! This will help you to feel human.

Consider food and nutrition. The body of a pregnant or nursing woman should first be concerned with sustaining your little one. It is imperative that you stay well hydrated and fed. Too many new moms focus on immediately losing pregnancy weight, and they deny themselves.

Don’t say no to free meals! Freeze some of them early on, so that you don’t have to cook later.

How Do I Help When My Friend is Pregnant?

Mon, 02 Jun 2014 11:00:00 GMT

She called you up last night and you’re still shocked from the news. Your friend is pregnant, and it wasn’t planned. You’re not sure what to say. You spend so much time together. The last thing in the world you can imagine is her having a baby. You want to be there for her, but you’re just not sure what to do.

Many women find themselves in this scenario and sometimes they don’t say anything because they’re afraid of saying the wrong thing. Right now your friend needs your support and encouragement and there are some practical ways you can show you care and love her no matter what. Some of these ideas may even help you work through your own emotions when your friend is pregnant.

Be Encouraging

Maybe your friend has decided to carry her baby to term, but she doesn’t know if she wants to be a mom yet. Maybe she is considering abortion as an option. Understand that she has a number of decisions to make and is more than likely completely overwhelmed by all of the options. If she’s considering adoption try to avoid saying things like “How could you even consider adoption?” or “I could never give up my baby.” You need to realize that the process for deciding to place a baby for adoption is difficult. Stay positive and give her encouragement. Let her know she has a friend in you no matter what she decides.

Also if she does decide to parent, don’t share horror stories from family members or friends. The last thing she needs to hear about is your sister-in-law’s 40 hours of labor, or your experience babysitting terrible toddlers. Will it b e hard for her? Yes, but she does not need that negativity in her life right now.

Don’t Bring Up What If’s…

Trust us, she has already been thinking about them. What if she miscarries? What if she gets so sick she can’t stand it? What if she has a terrible labor and delivery? Keep these thoughts to yourself. If she wants to talk them through, listen first, then give feedback but remember to be encouraging and supportive. Be sure to steer the conversation away from things that aren’t likely to happen and that will only add to her stress.

Respect Her Decision

Maybe you think she should consider abortion. Maybe you don’t support her decision to go through with her parenting plan. You need to check your own feelings at the door until you have a chance to work through them. This can be hard to navigate if you don’t understand her reasons for carrying her baby to term. Try to understand her point of view and don’t try to persuade. She needs you as a friend right now. You may be experiencing your own feelings of anger, fear, and resentment. Maybe you’re afraid you’ll be loosing your friend. If you are aware of your feelings and work through them, this experience could potentially make your friendship stronger.

Small Gestures

Doing small things with love can go a long way in a friendship. Maybe your friend needs a ride every now and then to her doctor appointments. Maybe she needs help picking out baby things, or she needs someone to just watch a movie with to get her mind off of everything going on. It doesn’t have to be much. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. If she’s pregnant in the summer, a Sonic cherry limeade could be just what she needs. Someone to cry with and get excited with her may help her out. If the father of the baby or her family isn’t supportive, she will need you more than ever. So think of a few small things you can to so show support over then next few months. She will be grateful for your kindness.

If your friend comes to you before she knows for sure she is pregnant (maybe she has only taken a home pregnancy test) and she needs pregnancy confirmation, please tell her about Collage in both Kearney and Grand Island. You can even come with her for her appointment if that makes her more comfortable. Once we confirm the pregnancy is viable, we can often let her know how far along she is. And no matter where she is in the decision process we can help by talking through all of her options and helping her figure out what is best for her. If she does decide to carry her baby, we can give her helpful information and resource referrals in the community.

7 Ways Pregnant Women Can Stay Cool This Summer

Tue, 27 May 2014 11:00:00 GMT

Summer in Nebraska is hot. Really hot. Like Africa hot. And if you’re pregnant it can seem even hotter. Add in a little humidity and it can make being pregnant in the summer feel um, should we dare to say…uncomfortable? We understand the quest for the tiniest bit of shade and the slightest breeze.

Sometimes even those aren’t enough. Extreme heat calls for extreme measures and Collage is here to help with a few ideas to help you beat the heat.

1. Avoid Extreme Exposure

Heat can sneak up on you. When you’re pregnant your body is already toasty, but if you’re out in the sun for your body can overheat super quick. Plan on staying home during the hottest times of the day (10AM-3PM) and avoid overdoing the physical activity. If you do go out, make sure you have sunscreen on that is over SPF15. Also avoid extremely hot locations during these peak times that may not have someplace available for you to escape the heat like amusement parks, concert venues, or fairs.

2. Naptime!

Sometimes the best thing you can do for your body when you’re pregnant is rest. A hammock under a shade tree on a breezy day can be perfect. Or even better, a dark room with the AC cranked up when the temps hit the 90s. In a few months you’ll be glad you took time for that nap now.

3. Cold Wash Cloths

Ok this one may seem a bit silly, but they work. By putting cold compresses on your forehead and neck you can cool down in a pinch. You can also put wash cloths in the freezer and pull them out when you feel like you can’t take the heat anymore. Your baby will thank you!

4. Stay Hydrated

It’s important to drink water when you are pregnant anytime of year, but especially in the summer. We know, you’re already peeing a lot, but you still need to drink more water. Drink before you’re thirsty, because by that point you’re already dehydrated. Also to mix things up a bit, try drinking juice, eating popsicles, and making smoothies with fruit in addition to plain water. By doing this you will avoid headaches, swelling, and dizziness.

5. Go Swimming

Yes, you heard us. This is not the time to hide the baby bump. Get in the pool! It will cool you down and it is great form of exercise because it’s low impact to your body. So take a deep breath, you can do it. Go swimming.

6. Movie Marathon

Another thing you can do to keep from getting overheated in the summer while pregnant is going to the movies. Seriously, is there anything better in the summer than walking into an air-conditioned theater? Maybe you can’t afford the theater. Then have a movie marathon at home. Complete with AC or fan and lots of pillows to prop up your feet.

7. Clothing

This is one tip you may not have thought of, but to keep cool this summer make sure you wear cotton and other lightweight and breathable fabrics.

One last way to stay cool is to come by the Collage offices in Kearney and Grand Island to say hello. We would love to give you cool drink and talk with you about how your pregnancy is going.

We know we didn’t cover everything, so we want to hear your best tips for how pregnant women can stay cool this summer in the comments. What’s your favorite way to cool off?

Can I Be Pregnant And Still Be A Student?

Tue, 15 Apr 2014 13:09:00 GMT

Ashley looked in disbelief. She could see the test result clearly. Positive. The test came back positive.

A second semester junior at UNK, Ashley was on a partial scholarship and had a potential job waiting for her when she graduated. She felt like she was in a bad dream. How in the world was she going to do this? Her question came as quickly as her tears. “Can I be pregnant and still be a student?”

At Collage this is just a glimpse of one of the many scenarios we’re able to help women work through every day. There are many women like Ashley who are full-time students and immediately think they’re trapped if they get pregnant because they couldn’t possibly go to school and have a baby.

The truth is, courageous women do this everyday. Sometimes they may wonder if it is worth the stares, the questions, and emotional effort of carrying a baby through nine months as a coed. But it certainly can be done. Yes it is hard, but often the best things in life are.

Maybe as you read this today you’re in the same position as Ashley, wondering if you can still be a student and be pregnant. We want to give you some information about how Collage can help you if you’re worried about being pregnant and being a student at the same time.

1 - We will listen. At Collage we will be here for you to work through the emotions when your pregnancy test comes back positive or negative. We can provide you with resources and information to help you work through health concerns, relationship questions and what your next step could look like.

2 - We will offer you support. Part of this support is providing you with valuable referrals in our community. Central Nebraska is a wonderful place to get connected and find assistance. We have the ability to get you plugged into valuable services and provide options for you and your baby. You don’t have to go this alone.

3 - We will help you understand your rights as a student. All pregnant and parenting students fall under Title IX. You have the right to stay in school so you can meet your educational and career goals. To learn more you can go here to read more about how Title IX applies to your pregnancy specifically.

4 - We will help you weigh your housing choices. To live on or off campus? This one is tough. There are many things to consider. Will you get enough rest in student housing? Will you have to wait on a bathroom? Are there health concerns with community living when you are pregnant? We can help you work through what is going to be the best option for you.

5 - We will not judge you. You may be wondering, “What if I am thinking about having an abortion? Will they still help me or will they judge me?” We understand that every woman facing an unplanned pregnancy who walks into Collage has the option to have an abortion, as well as other options. We just want to make sure you are aware of all of them so you can make an informed decision. And our promise to you is this:

We’ll be a safe place: a place of hope and restoration…a place where if you are faced with an unexpected pregnancy—or even a sexual health issue you can begin to discover beauty despite your circumstance. While we do not provide abortion services, we will still give you accurate medical care and information. No hype, no judgment. You will be treated with respect.

So if you are sitting in your dorm room and you’re wondering if you can still be a student and be pregnant, give us a call to schedule an appointment. We can give you a pregnancy test to confirm your pregnancy and our staff is here to provide support no matter what you choose.

Jenny’s Story

Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:44:00 GMT

Last spring I feared I was pregnant with my second child and I found out about Collage from searching online. I made an appointment, and with the help of a girlfriend, I walked in the doors… completely overwhelmed and not knowing what to do next.

I felt so helpless. My husband and I had moved to Nebraska and we had no money. I couldn’t manage with the one child I already had, how were we going to get along with two? I felt like abortion was the only way. I couldn’t even bring myself to tell him I was pregnant yet.

The women at Collage sat and listened to me pour out my heart. I couldn’t help it, I just kept crying…when the pregnancy test came back positive I sobbed even more. But the peer counselor was calm and listened to everything I had to say.

Once I got it all out, she gave me some helpful information and gave me other places in the community that would help me financially. I was starting to have hope. Maybe I didn’t need an abortion after all. Maybe I just needed someone who cared. I felt like when I was talking things over with her that day that maybe I wasn’t alone.

The peer counselor at Collage provided information about my pregnancy. She also offered an opportunity for me to come back for an ultrasound to confirm the viability of my pregnancy and learn how far along I was.

When I left Collage that afternoon I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go back for the ultrasound, but I thought a lot about what they had shared over the next few weeks. I did eventually end up scheduling the ultrasound, which confirmed that I was 12 weeks along. I left that second appointment still scared and not sure what I would do.

Then this winter I went in to see the staff for the third time. Only this time I had my daughter with me as well as her new baby brother. I wanted to show the staff at Collage how much they had changed my life with those two appointments. I wanted them to meet my son, to look in his eyes and see him as I see him now, a gift.

It isn’t easy. We’re struggling as a family, but I will continue to check in with the staff at Collage about what’s going on in my life because I know they really want to know. They care.

Spring Break and Math

Mon, 17 Mar 2014 17:22:00 GMT

Spring Break is just around the corner and typically when you head for the sun the last thing you want to think about is math. But this year there are some equations that might be beneficial to consider as you finalize your plans in order to stay safe and have a fun and memorable Spring Break.

Spring Break + College Students = Alcohol

We all know that alcohol lowers inhibitions and encourages students to make decisions they otherwise wouldn’t. This is especially true during spring break. Reports show that the average spring breaker consumes around 10 drinks per day. And while consumption of excessive amounts of alcohol is dangerous for anyone, it’s especially risky for women, even if they aren’t the ones drinking. You might want to read our post about Six Alcohol Safety Tips for Women before you pack as a refresher.

Spring Break + Alcohol = Sex

This probably isn’t much of a surprise, but when college students consume large amounts of alcohol while on Spring Break they make some decisions that they regret. Often those decisions involve sex. A recent study found that 65% of respondents reported alcohol or drugs being involved in their most recent casual sexual encounter. Unfortunately, many of these encounters aren’t consensual. In 81% of alcohol related sexual assaults, both the victim and the perpetrator had consumed alcohol. And when alcohol is involved, victims are less likely to call the assault a rape.

Alcohol + Sex = Pregnancy

Sometimes Spring Break math moves beyond simple addition to multiplication. Sex on Spring Break is often considered different. It is assumed that there are no strings attached, allowing you to each go your own way after the hook-up. But based on the numbers, your hookup may last beyond one night. Statistics show that young adults who used alcohol were twice as likely to have multiple sexual partners. And with 75% of students reporting never or rarely using a condom on Spring Break, often as a result of drinking, your chances for an unexpected pregnancy are pretty high.

Alcohol + Sex = STDs

But even higher than your chance of pregnancy is the risk of getting a STD while on Spring Break. When asked, 74% of men and 88% of women reported never or rarely worrying about STDs or HIV, even though they are a high risk group with 1 in 3 sexually active college students experiencing at least one STD. Add oral sex under the influence of alcohol and the risk is even greater.

Safe Sex?

The CDC does note that condoms do offer some reduced risk when it comes to pregnancy and STDs, but it makes it clear that they cannot eliminate the risk. So even if you or your partner is sober enough to use a condom 100% correctly, you’re still putting yourself at a high risk of an unintended pregnancy or even a life-long disease.

We’re Here

At Collage we want you to have a great Spring Break that doesn’t involve any math. We want you to have a plan ahead of time that keeps you safe. A plan that you’ll stick with. So if you are drinking, drink in moderation. Always have someone with you who is not just the designated driver, but also watches out for your sexual safety. We hope we don’t need to see you when you get back. But if you do need us, we’re here.

A Look Inside Our Kearney Expansion

Mon, 03 Mar 2014 18:11:00 GMT

At Collage our promise has always been simple:

We’ll be a safe place: a place of hope and restoration…a place where those facing the reality of an STD, an unexpected pregnancy, or even a struggle with a past pregnancy decision can begin to discover beauty despite their circumstances.

Our desire is to be there for everyone in our community who needs our assistance. So last year, through the amazing support of those who believe in our mission, we were able to open a second Collage location in Grand Island ( here’s a peek inside ). And while that was going on, we were also able to increase the size of our offices in Kearney , allowing us to serve more clients and expand our services.

Many of you may not have had a chance to stop by the Kearney offices to see the updates, so we wanted to give you a look inside.

If you or someone you know is facing an unexpected pregnancy, considering an abortion, or just need someone to talk with about relationships, please, pick up the phone, call and schedule an appointment today. We’re here for you.

Parenting While Living With Your Parents

Mon, 24 Feb 2014 15:00:00 GMT

Making the decision to parent when faced with an unexpected pregnancy is a big deal. We are honored to walk along side women who make this choice everyday. One thing you may be considering while making a parenting plan is where you and your baby are going to live. Perhaps continuing to live with, or moving back in with your parents is an option. If so, here are four things to consider if you plan on parenting while living with your parents.

Parenting Communication

Have an initial meeting with your parents to discuss parenting methods such as schedules, discipline, and boundaries. Plan on doing your own research either at the library or online about what approaches you want to take as a parent. Gather as much information as you can. Learn about your child’s safety and medical needs. Don’t assume your parents will have the latest and greatest information. Come to this meeting with them informed and share your thoughts on how you would like the arrangement to work. This will cut down on confusion and potential hurt feelings later. We also recommend you set monthly meetings to keep communication flowing. You can talk about what is going well and what isn’t.

Child Care

Think about your class or work schedule and get a plan for your childcare needs. What kind of facility will you use? Many young moms assume that their parents can be permanent baby sitters. Some may offer this and some may not. Even if you have a great plan for child care worked out ahead of time with your folks, you need to have back up options for if they get sick or aren’t able to watch your child. You want to make sure that you find a facility that is in line with your parenting style as well and understands your parenting situation.

Allow Your Parents to be Grandparents

Schedule time with your parents to allow them to enjoy your child away from the home. Invite them to fun things like trips to the park and zoo. Don’t always assume that they can be there for every doctor’s appointment and check ups. Keeping clear boundaries will help you be the primary decision maker about your child and allow your parents to support and love to your baby as grandparents.

Have an Exit Strategy

Understand going into this arrangement that you need an exit strategy. So set a timetable that works for you. It might be six months, a year, or you may have a while to go before you graduate from school or college. Or, it might be landing a new job or other financial goal. But set a timeline that serves as a goal and share this with your parents. Also, ask for help from other adults around you to help you meet these goals for living on your own. This will help keep stressful times in perspective and give you a timeline to prepare for when your out of your parents home.

Parents can be an amazing support. And we applaud all of those grandmas and grandpas out there who are willing to step in and help make a difficult situation work. But you are your child’s parent and the best advocate for your baby. You will be faced with making hard choices, but we know you can do it! You are brave and strong and the team here at Collage is here to help you—and your extended family when you find yourself parenting while living with your parents.

Why Our Pregnancy Tests are Free

Mon, 17 Feb 2014 09:00:00 GMT

At Collage, we’re asked one question about our services pretty regularly and that question is, “Why are your pregnancy tests free?” We talk about this a little bit in our About Us section, but we thought it would be good to share a little more about not only why we do it but to also let you know how it’s possible. After all, we all know that nothing is truly free and we understand you may be a bit cautious when it comes to “free” stuff.

So here are four reasons why you don’t have to pay when you come to Collage for pregnancy tests.

We are a caring community

And when we say we—we mean thousands of people in central Nebraska. People in our communities care about women so much that they help fund our efforts. Our community trusts that we are providing accurate information and practical help to those seeking our services. So the community supports us financially and this helps underwrite our programs and services such as pregnancy testing. We want you to know that the awesome folks of Grand Island, Kearney, and surrounding areas truly care about your emotional well-being and health. They make it possible for you to come to us when you need to confirm an unexpected pregnancy.

We don’t depend on government funds

We’re privately funded. Almost all of the grants we apply for and receive come from private family or business foundations. This means when government money dries up we don’t have to stop certain services or programs because we don’t rely on federal funds.

We have former clients who needed free pregnancy testing and are now giving back

Although we don’t expect it or ask for it, women and men who have needed our services in the past have found help and hope through our organization. Sometimes years, even decades later, they come back wanting to help others who find themselves in the same situation and do so by either volunteering or supporting us financially.

We have amazing partnerships with local businesses and organizations

We’re grateful for the organizations in central Nebraska who support Collage by paying for our much-needed supplies like pregnancy tests and other medical supplies. Sometimes local businesses offer us discounts for their services and sometimes they give financial or physical gifts to provide a safe place for those facing the unexpected. Our ultrasound machines, which confirm viable pregnancies after a positive pregnancy test, are a beautiful example of a gift given through the business and faith-based community. It isn’t just individuals who support Collage, but it is also long-standing, familiar organizations that you encounter every day.

We hope this helps answer any questions and concerns about how we can offer free pregnancy testing and other services to our community. If you or a friend ever need our help, we’re here for you, all because of the generous support of our community.

Six Things To Do If You’re Single On Valentine’s Day

Mon, 10 Feb 2014 11:00:00 GMT

It’s almost here.

The dreaded day. Valentine’s Day.

If you’re single on Valentine’s Day it can be tough. It can also be exceptionally hard if you’re a young single mom.

At Collage, we understand that sometimes Valentine’s Day can be lonely. But we also want you to know that this day doesn’t need get you down in the dumps.

You know why?

Because YOU are beautiful.

You are amazing.

You are not defined by one day out of the year.

And you are loved!

We want Valentine’s Day to be special for you, so we’ve come up with six things to do if you’re single on Valentine’s Day.

Make plans with a good friend. Rent a funny movie. Laugh. Have a good time. No need to be all gloomy. Laughing is healthy for you and it should be done often.
Do something nice for someone who could use some extra attention. Visit older people in your neighborhood. Bake them cookies. We promise it will make their day!
Write down 25 things that only you can do. You will surprise yourself! Pull out this list next time you start to feel down.
Refuse to allow your self-esteem to be affected by a date on the calendar. You’re more than 24 hours. So prove it to yourself. Plan to learn something new on this day. Read about a topic you’re curious about. Go to a library, museum, or try something creative.
Write a thank you note to someone who has contributed in your personal growth. It could be a parent, teacher or community leader. By thinking of others, it will help you take your mind off of yourself. It also is a great way to focus on gratitude.
Plan on volunteering at a local non-profit organization, even if it’s just for an hour. You’ll feel better by helping a worthwhile cause.

Whatever you end up doing this Valentine’s Day, know that you are loved and that we’re here for you.

Do you have other helpful ideas to add to the list of things to do if you’re single on Valentine’s Day? We’d love to hear them. Please share your ideas in our comments.

A Peek Inside Collage’s Grand Island Location

Mon, 03 Feb 2014 11:00:00 GMT

Sometimes when things get crazy and life becomes chaotic you need somewhere to go to just sort it all out. When you’re faced with a difficult pregnancy decision or find yourself needing to work through a tough relationship, doesn’t it make it easier when you can go to a calming place? Somewhere you know that you can get helpful information, ask difficult questions? A place where you feel cared for and loved?

As we opened our second Collage location in Grand Island, we wanted to make sure that we provided the same welcoming atmosphere and the same great service our Kearney clients have come to expect.

Because at Collage our promise is simple, no matter which location you visit:

So here is a glimpse of the Grand Island Center.

Three Types of Food to Avoid While Pregnant

Mon, 27 Jan 2014 13:54:00 GMT

You took the test. You know you’re expecting. You’ve worked through the shock and now you have a plan to carry your baby to term. Maybe you’ve even started to crave certain foods. Hello, pickles and potato chips anyone? Just below the doctor’s visits and checkups, eating healthy should be near the top of your list of things to keep in mind for a healthy pregnancy.

Eating right throughout your pregnancy can impact your child’s health not just during the nine months you’re pregnant, but also for their lifetime. While there are many foods that probably aren’t a good idea to eat during pregnancy, we wanted to remind you of these three types of food to avoid while pregnant.

Seafood and Fish High in Mercury

This includes larges fish like shark, tilefish, swordfish and mackerel. These types of fish include a high degree of mercury. Mercury interferes with the development of your baby’s brain and nervous system.

A small amount of tuna is OK. The USDA recommends limiting intake of fish low in mercury to 12 ounces a week. This includes canned tuna, sardines, tilapia and catfish.

Raw or Undercooked Meat and Eggs

This list includes raw meat, raw shellfish like oysters and clams, sushi, unpasteurized eggs, and unfortunately, raw cookie dough. By eliminating these foods from your diet while pregnant you lower your risk of foodborne illnesses that come about through bacteria, viruses and parasites.

Make sure that you also check all poultry with a thermometer (165 degrees) and cook eggs until they are no longer runny.

Luncheon Meats and Unpasteurized Dairy

These types of foods might be convenient but they are prone to listeria monocytogenes, bacteria that causes listeriosis. Listeriosis is very dangerous to pregnant women because it can cause miscarriage or stillbirth. You also will want to include in this list hot dogs, deli meat, and meat spreads.

So what should you eat?

Whole and lightly processed foods. Plenty of fruits and veggies, whole grains, lean meats, and low-fat dairy. Also we recommend you drink a lot of water during your pregnancy.

For more information on eating throughout your pregnancy we’ve included this link. Always be sure to check with your doctor if you have questions about certain foods.

http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/foodstoavoid.html

Pickles anyone?

So what is/was your favorite food while you were pregnant?

You’re Beautiful

Mon, 20 Jan 2014 11:00:00 GMT

A few weeks ago we came across this beautiful video by Karen Walrond and shared it over on our Facebook Page . We liked it so much, we decided to post it here on the blog so it would be easier to find and where you can come back and watch it over and over. Because often it takes hearing a message over and over for the truth it contains to sink in.

We think you are beautiful!

hey you

(yes, you)

here’s something the media doesn’t want you to know:

you’re beautiful

it’s true.

and here are the top 10 ways to make sure everyone knows it:

remember there are differences, but there are no flaws.
there’s only one fashion rule: it if makes you feel awesome, wear it.
be willing to be vulnerable, so you can also fully experience joy.
control your own perspective. perspective is everything.
another word for sexy? confident.
breathe. deeply and every day.
express yourself. often, kindly, and without apology.
the adventure is in the attempt. embrace possibility.
to remain youthful, never stop looking for the wonderful.
and finally: create your own story. never let others create it for you.

because no matter what anyone says, there is an underlying truth:

you are different, and you’re beautiful

so
go
be
amazing

5 Things To Consider Before Living Together

Mon, 13 Jan 2014 19:47:00 GMT

You’ve been dating for a while and things seem to be getting serious. You think you’re ready to take the next step and are wondering if maybe it’s time to move in together.

You’re Not Alone

If those thoughts have crossed you mind, you’re not alone. Cohabitation, or living together, has increased by more than 1,500% since the 1960’s according to a survey from the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia. This shift has been attributed to many factors from the current state of the economy to the availability of birth control. Whatever the cause, the cultural acceptance and perceived convenience continue to lead many couples to consider this as an option, often without weighing all the pros and cons of how it will affect their relationship both in the short and long-term.

While there are many things to consider before moving in together, here are five that may not immediately come to mind, but should be given some serious thought.

#1 – Living Together – The Test Drive

So are you thinking about going for a test drive? Often times couples express that living together will give them good idea of just how compatible they are before getting married. They see the divorce rate, or have experienced divorce in their family, and think living together will help them avoid going down that path.

Often guys will jokingly equate it to checking out a car. They sometimes say things like, “You wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it. Why would you get married without a test drive?” I’m sure they mean no harm, but think about what that communicates. What if they don’t like the test drive? What is your return policy? But that isn’t the only problem with this way of thinking. Studies show that couples that live together are actually more likely to divorce than those who don’t. They also tend to be less satisfied with their marriages if they do indeed get married. Taking a car for a test drive is very different than owning one and having to keep up with the scheduled maintenance to keep it running well.

#2 – Living Together – It Just Happens

Maybe you end up living together because you just get tired of carting your toothbrush and an extra pair of clothes around with you all the time. Sometimes when couples end up living together, it wasn’t something they planned, it just happened. After dating for a while they started sleeping over at each other’s place occasionally. Soon they were sleeping over a lot and then they were practically living together. They wonder if it will be cheaper and more convenient to just move in together and a quick decision is made, thinking that if it doesn’t work out they can get out quickly too. They go down this gradual slope, what researches call “sliding, not deciding” and they find themselves living together with no real point of decision, no rings, no ceremonies, and often no real conversation about why the want to live together and what that means. If asked why they are living together, they often answer, “It just happened.”

#3 – Living Together – Very Different Expectations

Because living together sometimes “just happens” without a real conversation and clear expectations, couples often find themselves frustrated because it isn’t what they thought it would be. Obviously each couple is different, but researchers have found men and women have different attitudes and expectations about living together. In general, women tend to see living together as the next step toward marriage while men see it as a way to test the relationship or even delay commitment. These differences even affect the relationship if it does end up in marriage, often leading to negative experiences as they interact, lower levels of commitment and a higher rate of infidelity. Setting clear expectations is important for any relationship to avoid frustration and disappointment.

#4 – Living Together – Easy In, Easy Out…Right?

Couples approach living together with a very different mindset then they do marriage. While men and women have very different expectations when it comes to cohabitation, they do tend to agree that their standards for a live-in significant other are lower than they would be for a spouse. This makes it much easier to enter a live-in situation. But what they thought was a cost saving, low-risk arrangement often isn’t so easy to get out of. Shared rent, shared furniture, shared pets and potentially shared children make getting out more challenging than they ever imagined. It’s like those companies who show up on campus offering you a free t-shirt for signing up for a credit card. Sure you get the t-shirt, but you also get the 20% interest rate after the first six months. What you thought was a low cost t-shirt can end up costing way more than you ever expected.

#5 – Living Together – Because I’m Not Sure I Want To Be Married

Often couples find themselves debating living together because they are truly in love, but one or both partners really aren’t sure marriage is a good idea or even relevant. They may have experienced divorce or abuse in their family and have associated those feeling with marriage rather than the brokenness of their parents. They don’t want to experience those themselves, so they avoid marriage and commitment. Yet, those same feelings occur in live-in situations, and they actually occur more frequently. Studies consistently show that marriage increases the well being of women, men and children. They report being happier, more content and they have lower death rates than those who live together. While marriage isn’t a guarantee of commitment or happiness, and no one says it is easy, statistics say it does increase your chances over living together.

A Big Decision

Living together is a big decision and there many factors to consider in addition to the five we mentioned. If living together is something you’re thinking about and need someone to talk to, we’d love to sit down and listen and help you work through all the pros and cons.

So what if you’ve already made the move and are having second thoughts? We’re here for you too.

Bottom line, we care about you and want you to have healthy relationships and a promising future. If we can ever help, please contact us.

5 Relationship Resolutions for The New Year

Mon, 30 Dec 2013 11:00:00 GMT

As you head into a new year it’s a great time to reflect on what went well with your relationships last year and what you would like to improve. Here are five relationship resolutions to help you make healthier connections in the new year.

1 - Be comfortable with who you are first. A new year is a great time to do a personal inventory of who you are and what makes you unique. Reflect on qualities that you think are an asset in a relationship. Are you funny or more serious? Are you adventurous or a homebody? Do you love helping people? By asking yourself serious questions about yourself, then you know how to set your expectations of what kind of relationship you’d like to be in. This will help you evaluate if someone is a good match for your personality. And let’s face it, if you don’t know who you are you put yourself at serious risk for being molded into what someone else wants you to be and that’s never a good thing.

2 - Give up the hook up. If you’re serious about healthy relationships you need to stop the hook ups. You know, the ones where the attraction is only physical and you know right out of the gate it isn’t going past tonight. Why waste your time? Trust us when we say this is not only a good resolution to help you steer clear of STDs or a potential unexpected pregnancy, but it will also let quality guys know you are not a one night stand. And that makes for real relationship material.

3 - Maintain current relationships. Don’t let a new relationship become the center of your universe. We’re all guilty. One or two dates and you start thinking to yourself, “He’s it. He’s the one.” Maybe he is, but maybe he isn’t. Don’t put the rest of your life on hold because you have a new guy in your life. This becomes a problem when you start to ignore family, friends or hobbies. For the new year make the resolution to take it slow. Let things progress at a natural pace.

4 - Refuse to obsess over the past. Someone may have hurt you badly in the past. You were deeply committed and they weren’t. Or, they ended the relationship just when you thought it was going well. It’s hard not to take this into your first date with someone new, but don’t. They aren’t that person and neither are you. You’ve grown and now you’re ready to start again. Go into your date with a clean slate. If you’re majorly obsessed with the last guy then you’re not ready to date someone new. Be honest with yourself.

5 - You’re worthy of a great relationship. If you’ve had guys treat you poorly in the past you may be tempted to slip into negative thinking. That sets you up for failure before you even start. You’re starting off a new year. Stop telling yourself the same old story. Instead, remember that you’re a beautiful unique individual who someone out there is just dying to get to know. Don’t let negativity dominate your thoughts before you even get started.

What relationship resolutions would you add? We would love to hear from you.

How Do I Tell My Parents I’m Pregnant?

Tue, 17 Dec 2013 01:23:00 GMT

You’ve taken the test, a few times, and each time it says the same thing. You’re pregnant.

You weren’t planning to be pregnant, you don’t want to be pregnant, but you are. And as you process all of the emotion, fear, anger, shock and guilt, the question pops into our mind, “How do I tell my parents I’m pregnant?” This question can be as overwhelming and scary as being pregnant itself.

We want you to know that you are not alone. For many teens and college students this seems like an impossible situation, but it’s something that many others have had to face and they’ve lived to tell about it. The biggest fear you probably have is how your parents will react. Will they be angry or disappointed? Will they yell, cry or just sit there silently?

While every set of parents and every daughter’s relationship with them is different, there are a few things you can do to help the conversation go as well as possible.

Prepare

Taking some time to prepare for what will most likely be one of the hardest conversations you will ever have is a good idea. Here are few things you should think through before you talk with your parents about your pregnancy.
Prepare how you want to open the conversation. Don’t scare them or put them on edge by saying “I have some bad news.” Instead be clear and direct. Begin with “I have something difficult I need to share with you, I’m pregnant”.
Prepare how you will explain the pregnancy. Did they know you have a boyfriend? Did they know you were sexually active or did they forbid you from dating?
Share how you are feeling. While it might be tempting to pause and let them react, it’s important to let them know how you’re feeling. Tell them how difficult this has been and that you need their support.
Anticipate their reaction. Again, there is no way to tell exactly how they will react to you telling them your pregnant, but you can plan based on how they have reacted to other news in the past. Is one parent more emotional or more logical? Have they reacted with anger and violence in the past? If so, don’t tell them the news alone, but make sure there is another trusted adult present.
Prepare to answer their questions. They may ask who the father is, if you used protection, when you got pregnant and how long you’ve been sexually active. Determine what questions you’re ready to answer and which ones you aren’t.

Practice

You’ve probably already told a friend or someone else that you are pregnant, so ask them if you can practice on them before telling your parents you’re pregnant.

Support

Having to face your parents alone may seem like more than you can handle. Enlisting some moral support may be a good option. Here are some things to consider:
If they have never met the father, this might not be the best time to introduce them. However, if they have it can also be a great way to show them maturity.
Perhaps having a brother or sister there would help you feel more comfortable.
Sometimes having a friend or another trusted adult from outside the family can be beneficial.
You know your family dynamics and will ultimately have to decide if having someone else there will help or hurt the conversation.

Timing

Picking the right time is almost as important as what you say.
Pick a time when there is plenty of time for a conversation. Don’t tell them as they head out the door, or when they have to pick your brother up from soccer in 30 minutes. Find a time when their stress level is low, maybe after dinner when there are no plans for the evening.
Pick a time that works for you, when you aren’t worried about an upcoming exam, so that your attention can be on preparation and the conversation.
There isn’t an ideal time, so don’t keep putting it off. Pick the best available time for everyone.

Listen

This may be the hardest part, but after you’ve shared the news you need to give them time to process what you’ve just told them and listen.
It’s hard to know what their reaction will be, but often they say the first thing that pops into their mind. Sometimes, that can be hurtful. Remember, they are just as shocked as you were when you took the test. Give them time and don’t take their initial reaction personally.
They may have advice for you to go along with the questions. Listen. We know you’ve already had time to think about the pregnancy, but they may have something to share you haven’t thought about yet.
As you listen and the conversation moves along, let them know what you need. Love, support, time to process. This is going to the subject of many more conversations in the future, so establishing how they can help you is important.

Be Patient

This is the first conversation of what will probably be many and you don’t have to come to any resolution at this time. Here are some things for you to keep in mind:
They need time too. You just dropped some life-changing news on them and they will need some time to process it just like you did.
They will probably experience many of the same emotions you did when you found out.
Their initial reaction will probably soften with time. Once the shock wears off, they will probably have more questions and may be able to offer better advice once they are thinking clearly.

As you talk, words like abortion and adoption may come up. You have time before you have to make any decisions regarding your pregnancy. Your parents may and probably will have advice for you, but ultimately you have to make the decision that you will live with for the rest of your life. We think you should have all the information available so you can make an informed decision.

When it comes down to it, most parents love their children and want to be there for them. As you are planning, you are probably preparing for the worst-case scenario. You may be surprised how well they take the news. And telling them will most likely lift a huge weight off your shoulders.

If you are pregnant and preparing to tell your parents and need someone else to talk to, we’d love to be there to help you. Please contact our office to talk with one of our amazing staff members.

Six Signs He’s Mr. Wrong

Tue, 03 Dec 2013 00:10:00 GMT

You’ve been dating for several weeks now. You really like him. It is getting serious and you’re almost ready to commit to maybe having him meet the fam over the holidays. But you’re starting to have some reservations. Is he Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong?

At Collage we want support and encourage healthy relationships, so we’ve come up with a few things to help you determine if the guy you are with is a keeper or if you need to throw him back.

Here are six signs to be on the look out for in your guy to know if he’s Mr. Wrong.

1 - He doesn’t listen to you. Either he is constantly zoning out when you are talking to him, checking out his fantasy football standings, or texting his friends. It could also be maybe he watches TV or surfs the Internet instead of looking you in the eye. Some of this is normal, but constantly—no way girl you are worth more! If your guy is not giving you specific attention at times when it is important to you to be heard, he for sure is Mr. Wrong.

2 - He checks out other girls in front of you. This is a deal breaker. We’re not saying he shouldn’t notice other girls, but if someone else gets his attention and he keeps checking her out he is not the guy for you. You want a guy who appreciates you—both inside and out. If he treats other girls as objects and only looks at them for their outer beauty and then tries to see if you are jealous, this is not a good sign. He is moving into the Mr. Wrong category quickly.

3 - He tries to isolate you. Does he try to keep you from family and friends? He also may not want you to hang out with your close girlfriends any more. He may get jealous when you want to spend time with your sister. When you’re spending tons of time together in the beginning of the relationship, not seeing regular friends or family may be normal, but in time, you should get back into your grove of inner circle relationships. If he is Mr. Right he will be eager to fit right in, the same way you will with his friends and family. If he is Mr. Wrong he will do everything to keep others at bay.

4 - He doesn’t seem to trust you. You caught him looking at your phone or he checks up on you every couple of hours. He also may ask you all the time about who you have talked to and where you are going. Some of this is cute at the start of a relationship and playful, but if he keeps it up it can turn into possessive behavior. Be aware. Mr. Right trusts you and is secure enough not do this.

5 - He is always grumpy, to you and to others. If this is your guy then he is not Mr. Right. He’s a major Eeyore who is never going to be happy. He may even say things to you like, you make him happy or you are the only thing good in his life. This is even worse. You want a guy who can stand on his own. Who sees your presence in his life as an addition. You’re not his sole means of bliss. If he is a grumbling complaining whinny pants, run. Run far away.

He tries to pressure you into a physical relationship before you’re ready. This is a major clue that he does not respect you or your personal boundaries. If he is Mr. Right he will be patient. He will not try to force you into anything you’re not ready for. Mr. Wrong is only looking out for himself.

So there you have it ladies. Six signs to tell if he is Mr. Wrong.

Do you have any others to add to the list? We would love to hear from you.

How Dangerous is an Ectopic Pregnancy?

Mon, 28 Oct 2013 18:43:00 GMT

An ectopic pregnancy is a medical condition that occurs in less than 2% of pregnancies in North America. Left unattended, an ectopic pregnancy is a serious medical condition and can be fatal. For women, it is important to know what an ectopic pregnancy is, what symptoms you may experience, what the treatment options are, and how an ectopic pregnancy may effect you emotionally.

What is An Ectopic pregnancy?

An ectopic pregnancy is one that is growing in the wrong place. While normally the baby grows inside the uterus or womb, an ectopic pregnancy can be in the fallopian tube (where the egg and sperm meet), ovary, cervix, or the abdominal cavity (belly). Ectopic pregnancies in the fallopian tube are much more common than in other locations and are known also as tubal pregnancy.

What are the Symptoms of an Ectopic Pregnancy?

You MAY have a tubal pregnancy if you are pregnant AND have one or more of the following:
Severe pain centered on one side of the abdomen or pelvis
Lightheadedness, dizziness, or blackouts
Abnormally low blood pressure
The passage of tissue (not just blood clots) from your vagina, as in the case of miscarriage
Bleeding from the vagina may or may not be present

Is there a Test that Confirms I’m Having an Ectopic Pregnancy?

The doctor may perform several tests to help confirm an ectopic pregnancy since many of the symptoms can be confusing. You may have blood tests to determine quantitative hCG levels, and another pregnancy test. You may also have a pelvic exam. Tubal pregnancy may be confirmed by an ultrasound showing a baby outside the womb or showing no baby in the womb despite a large numberhCG of pregnancy hormones in your blood. Direct observation of the fallopian tube during surgery may be necessary to make the diagnosis.

What Could Cause an Ectopic Pregnancy? Am I at Risk?

In most cases, the cause of tubal pregnancy is not known and there’s nothing you could have done to prevent it. However, a woman is more likely to have a tubal pregnancy if she:

Has had a previous ectopic pregnancy
Has had an infection of the fallopian tubes or certain sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as gonorrhea or chlamydia
Has had a pelvic infection
Gets pregnant while an IUD is inside her uterus
Has had a tubal ligation

What Factors Probably DO NOT Cause an Ectopic Pregnancy?

You may be surprised to learn that these factors do not cause tubal pregnancy:

Emotional stress
Birth control pills taken accidentally in early pregnancy
Work environments and duties
Tubal Pregnancies are Medical Emergencies

If you suspect you may have a tubal pregnancy you need to get medical treatment immediately from a physician or to the emergency room of a nearby hospital. It’s a medical emergency. Failure to get help may allow rapid bleeding into your abdomen from a ruptured internal organ, causing an occasional patient to die from shock (dangerously low blood pressure). At Collage, if you come in for an ultrasound and our sonographer should uncover an ectopic pregnancy, we would advise and assist you with getting medical treatment right away. We provide clients with information and paperwork for you to take immediately to the hospital or ER.

What Treatment is Provided for Ectopic Pregnancies?

Typically tubal pregnancy is either proved or ruled out by the tests mentioned above. A fertilized egg can’t survive outside the womb, and can’t be put back inside it. In order to protect the woman’s life, the pregnancy must be terminated and sometimes the fallopian tubes need to be removed through surgery. With early detection of tubal pregnancies, termination of the pregnancy through administering medication is often the treatment and this allows the body to absorb the tissue, with no surgery. Once an ectopic pregnancy is confirmed, you should be informed that pregnancy termination is the only option for survival due to the physical dangers.

Emotions and Feelings after an Ectopic Pregnancy

It’s helpful for you to understand that you may experience a wide range of physical changes and emotions. At Collage, we understand that you may even feel relieved to no longer be pregnant. On the other hand, you may feel guilty or have a sense of loss, even if your pregnancy was unexpected. These are all normal feelings even if you were unsure of whether you planned to carry your baby to term or not. It may be beneficial for you to talk to someone in order to sort out these feelings. We can offer emotional support to you and those close to you if you need to come in. Feel free to call and set up an appointment. We’ll be here for you.

I Think I’m Pregnant, When Should I Get An Ultrasound?

Mon, 14 Oct 2013 11:00:00 GMT

The Pregnancy Test is Positive

You’ve taken a home pregnancy test. Twice. Both came back positive. This wasn’t what you expected. Getting pregnant was the last thing you were thinking about. You have a million questions. Questions like…

How could this happen?
How do I tell him?
How do I tell my parents?
Am I really pregnant?
Should I try to find out how far along I am?
Am I physically OK?
What do I do next?

Limited OB Ultrasound

At Collage, we offer free limited OB Ultrasounds at no cost to you to help confirm that you actually are pregnant. No more guessing. You’ll know for sure.

First, we’ll have you answer a few questions and take a pregnancy test here in the office. If it comes back positive, then after a short medical assessment, we’ll look at the possibility of scheduling an ultrasound for you. After the scan, you’ll also have an opportunity to talk with someone about all of your options. Our medical staff will give you the information and the time to process what’s going on. They’ll also be able to give you referral options for additional services you may need in Kearney and Grand Island.

Who Can I Bring With Me?

You can bring your friends. You can bring your boyfriend, you can bring whoever you want to help make you comfortable.

Getting an ultrasound is the first step after a positive pregnancy test to confirm that you are indeed pregnant and to allow you to begin to process and make plans for the future.

So call us and schedule that appointment. We’re here to listen, confirm your pregnancy, and help you understand all your options, all in the comfort of our beautiful offices.

Can I Still Get A Period When I’m Pregnant?

Mon, 07 Oct 2013 13:42:00 GMT

What’s Happening?

You’ve taken the home pregnancy test and it came back positive. And you’re not quite sure what to think or how to feel. It all seems overwhelming. Then to top it off you’re still bleeding.

Maybe you’re confused. Do you tell your boyfriend, mom, or friends? Maybe you are feeling relief because you think—I’m not pregnant after all! Most of all you’re probably wondering what’s going on with your body.

First, take a deep breath. Okay. Now let’s talk about what might be going on, because yes, it is possible to be pregnant and have a period. But that may or may not be what is happening.

Conception Just Before Your Period

If you have a short menstrual cycle, it could be that you didn’t get pregnant until just a few days before your period started. What this means is the egg takes time to reach the uterine lining. This could cause your body to be fooled—thinking it should still produce the hormones that cause your period. What then happens is you still have a light period and could potentially not even notice you were pregnant for up to six weeks.

It Might Not Be A Period

There are also other ways that you can still bleed during pregnancy that aren’t a result of menstruation. Cervical changes, infection, and implantation can all make you think you are having a period when you are actually pregnant.

Another way you can bleed during pregnancy is miscarriage. If this happens you need to see a medical professional right away.

Be Sure

It’s important for you to understand that bleeding doesn’t always necessarily mean you’re not pregnant. We want you to have a place to ask questions, get an accurate pregnancy test, and talk with our professional staff. You deserve peace of mind so that you can make an informed decision.

Life sometimes finds us in unexpected circumstances. You deserve support so you can make a plan. Give us a call or email us if we can help.

5 Ways You Can Rock Back-to-School Relationships

Mon, 05 Aug 2013 11:00:00 GMT

It’s back to school time! Thousands of students like you are planning on leaving their summer behind and starting the school year off right. As you’re loading up your backpack, here are 5 ways you can rock back-to-school relationships and prepare for the new year.

1. Back to school means a fresh start

Maybe you had a summer breakup. Maybe you will see your old flame for the first time. Back-to-school time can be hard. Instead of focusing on how sad this will make you feel, focus on new beginnings. This is a new day, a new season. Positivity wins the day. Don’t get bogged down with obsessing about the past.

2. Set healthy boundaries in your dating relationships

Before you get that first call or text. Find friends who you would like to hang out in groups with instead of one on one. Get creative with your activities instead of falling into the let’s watch a movie rut. This will help if you have crossed lines in the past that you are not proud of and are working on a fresh start.

3. Don’t get caught up in the drama

If your BFF likes a guy and another friend does too, don’t get caught up in the drama. It’s not good for you. Decide that as you head back to school you’re not playing that game anymore. Encourage your friends to talk it out and refuse to participate.

4. Work on talking more with your parents

They do want to talk with you. Really. They may get on your very last nerve, you may think they don’t care, but give them an opportunity to get to know you better. Help with dinner or cleaning the car. Time spent doing stuff with good ol’ mom and pops may open up communication opportunities. If communication isn’t the best, maybe the back-to-school season is a great time to work on it.

5. Commit to staying healthy

Back-to-school time can be exhausting and it usually gets tougher as the year goes on. Get enough sleep. Turn your phone off at night. Drink water, exercise, and eat healthy food. Sure, these things may not seem like huge health factors, but over the school year, they’ll help you get the rest and nutrition you need to handle major school stress. Not to mention they will keep you looking and feeling great.

At Collage, we’re here for you as you head back to school. We know when it comes to relationships, things can get complicated. If you need somebody to talk to, we’re here to listen.

Here’s to you having a great year!

Do I need an Ultrasound before an Abortion?

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 20:16:00 GMT

You may be thinking, “I’ve already had a positive pregnancy test and I’ve made up my mind to have an abortion. Why would I need an ultrasound first?”

It’s important for you to know that a pregnancy test is only an indication that you may be pregnant. No matter what option you’re considering, an ultrasound is important as it’s the only way to determine if a pregnancy is viable, meaning the pregnancy has developed in the uterus, (and not ectopic), and if there’s a heartbeat. In addition, it would tell you how far along you are which is important to determine which type of abortion procedure can be done.

At Collage, we can provide a free limited OB ultrasound to determine if your pregnancy is viable. If it isn’t, you can avoid the financial cost and any potential emotional or physical consequences that can be associated with abortion. Remember, you have time to get all the facts before rushing into anything. We’re here to provide a safe place for you to process this big decision – no matter what.

Jessica’s Story

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 15:03:00 GMT

This is a true story from one of our clients. We’ll call her Jessica for confidentiality reasons. She shares from her heart about her experience of getting pregnant in high school and the events that followed. We hope it encourages you.

—

I was from a really small town where everyone knows everyone. I was very active in my youth group, in extracurricular activities and I was a three-sport athlete in high school. I prided myself on being a good kid and having a good relationship with my parents and friends. I had always planned on saving sex until after I was married, but I found myself falling into compromising situations with my high school boyfriend. In my senior year, I found out that I was pregnant.

After seeing the positive result of the test, I was shocked and felt like I had no place to go. After confiding in a friend and to my boyfriend, I honestly felt like abortion was my only option. I read about the procedure and started to get scared about what could happen if I went through it. So, I decided to tell my mom.

She was in disbelief and didn’t know how to respond. She told me that she’d go along with whatever I decided. I told her that my boyfriend and I had decided that we were going to get an abortion.

A few weeks later, my mom and I traveled to the clinic. I felt so alone sitting in the waiting room even though there were others there. I never dreamt I would be in this situation. It wasn’t until after the procedure was over and I was being escorted back to the waiting room that someone finally asked me if I was doing okay. Why didn’t someone ask me before when I really needed it? Why didn’t someone ask me before and tell me I had other options? It was then that everything became real to me and I fell apart. I had never felt more ashamed or broken in my life.

All summer I felt that if I ignored my feelings about my experience, then I wouldn’t have to deal with them. I began to grow distant from God, family, and friends. This continued until I met a friend during my freshman year of college who saw how broken I felt. He encouraged me to seek help.

That’s when I found myself contacting Collage. The staff was so welcoming and non-judgmental. They cared about who I was, not the decision I had made. It was there that I learned that I was not alone. I realized that other women were dealing with the same struggles. Deciding to go through the after-abortion support group that Collage offers was one of the best choices I have ever made. Today, I feel freed from the anger, guilt, and sadness that once weighed me down. Thanks to the support group, I was able to reconcile all of the relationships in my life and truly start over again.

If you find yourself relating to any part of my story, remember that you don’t have to through this alone. Whether you just took a positive test or have already experienced abortion, Collage can help.

My friend had an abortion – what should I do?

Wed, 03 Oct 2012 14:00:00 GMT

Has a friend ever confided in you that she’s experienced an abortion? Maybe a friend asked you to keep it a secret that she and her boyfriend decided to end a pregnancy. Maybe a guy you know told you that his girlfriend had one without even telling him about it until after the fact. Whatever the situation, as a friend, you have the power to reach out and help.

What’s the first step?

Listen to your friend. Don’t prod, but be available to listen to how she may be feeling in the aftermath of their experience. Allow her to unpack her emotions.

It may take time…

Don’t be surprised if your friend tells you weeks, months or even years after it happened. Be careful not to react strongly with your opinion because she may be hurting and just need someone to listen as she processes her feelings.

You’re not alone!

You may realize that your friend needs more than you may be able to give. That’s where Collage can help. We have trained staff who can meet with your friend, and allow her to talk about her experience and share what opportunities there are for healing.

What’s next?

The support groups we offer for women who have been hurt by abortion are free and confidential. Only the staff that help facilitate the groups actually know who the participants are.

If you have a friend who might benefit from our after-abortion help, give her our phone number, website or email address to find out more information. If she wants to stop in, she can bring you along if she doesn’t want to come alone. Your friend may need closure and you could be the one to introduce her to hope.

Guy’s Perspective: Unplanned

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 17:07:00 GMT

Your partner just texted you that her period is 2 weeks late. A million thoughts may be running through your head…

I never thought this would happen to me, now what?

So, what’s your next step? It’s really important that your partner confirms her pregnancy. Collage can provide a free and confidential pregnancy test and follow up then with a limited obstetrical ultrasound if the test is positive. The ultrasound confirms the viability of the pregnancy (whether it’s likely to carry to term or end in miscarriage) and reveals exactly how far along she is. One of our medical personnel performs the ultrasounds right here at our Center.

Do I have any say in the end result of the pregnancy?

As the father of this child, you can still have a say in the outcome of the pregnancy despite the fact that a woman can choose to have an abortion without the permission of the baby’s father. Your support is crucial as she decides what the outcome of her pregnancy will be.

How do I support her?

Talk about your options with each other, with your parents, and with others in your life. Keeping the pregnancy a secret may create unneeded stress in what can already be a stressful time. Remember the importance of listening to her talk about how she is feeling. And don’t be afraid to speak up either. So many women have told us that they were just waiting for their partner to say, “I don’t know what will happen to us in the future, but I do know we can provide a future for our child.” Even if it gets to the point that the abortion is scheduled and she is sitting in the waiting room at the clinic, in her mind, she is most likely screaming, “Please stop me from doing this!”

Where can we go to get the facts?

Collage is a safe and confidential place that can provide you and your partner the opportunity to ask the questions you both may have. You have options and you are the only people who can make the final decision. Our trained staff can help you look at all of your options and answer your questions about abortion, adoption, and parenting. She may be scared to call us for a pregnancy test appointment, so tell her you’ll call us. You can even offer to bring her in.

She doesn’t seem like she wants me involved…I might as well just bail.

You can try to run away from this situation but the truth is that it’s not going to go away. You have an opportunity to step up and take responsibility. This is your child just as much as it is hers, so it’s important to figure out together what the best outcome of the pregnancy is for all three of you.

What if we disagree?

Be honest with each other and take the time to look at all of your options together. Most importantly don’t pressure her to do something she doesn’t want to do. Take your time making this decision. You have a right to look back on this in the future and know you made the best decision.

What are the Immediate Risks of Abortion?

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 18:47:00 GMT

Before you decide what the end result of your pregnancy will be, you deserve to have all the information you need to make a decision you’ll never look back on with regret. If you need more information about abortion procedures, check out our blog by clicking here .

Abortion, like any medical or surgical procedure, carries several different risks. Serious medical complications such as bleeding, infection and damage to organs can occur during and/or after an abortion. There is also a higher chance of complications with later-term abortions compared with early abortions ( 1 ). Due to the fact that many women do not report their abortion, there is limited information about complications linked to abortion but the resources available report the following risks:

Heavy Bleeding

Some bleeding after abortion is normal. However, there is a risk of severe bleeding known as hemorrhaging if the cervix is torn or the uterus is punctured during the abortion. Whenever there is severe bleeding, a blood transfusion may be necessary. Severe bleeding can occur after both a surgical abortion and after taking the abortion pill. One in 100 women require surgery to stop the bleeding after taking the abortion pill (2).

Infection

Whenever medical instruments are inserted into the uterus, infection can develop. Infection can also occur if fetal parts are not completely removed during the procedure, known as an incomplete abortion. Bleeding and/or pelvic infection may require antibiotics and scarring is possible for the pelvic organs. There is always the possibility for the need of a surgical procedure to fully empty the uterus ( 3 ).

Anesthesia Difficulties

Complications with local or general anesthesia during an abortion procedure can lead to seizure, cardiopulmonary arrest, and death ( 4 ).

Damage to the Organs

The cervix and/or uterus may be cut, torn or punctured by abortion instruments. This may cause excessive bleeding requiring surgical repair. Abortion instruments may cause permanent scarring of the uterine lining. The risk of these types of complications increases with the length of the pregnancy. If complications occur, major surgery may be required, including removal of the uterus (known as a hysterectomy). If the uterus is punctured or torn there is also a risk that damage may occur to nearby organs such as the bowel and bladder ( 3 ).

Rh Factor

What is the Rh Factor?

Types of antigens on blood cells help determine whether someone’s blood type A, B, AB, or O. Antigens are proteins on the surface of the blood cells and one of those proteins is the Rh factor. If a person has the Rh factor, they are considered Rh-positive. If a person does not have the Rh factor, they are Rh-negative. Pregnant women who are Rh-negative should receive the Rhogam injection. If an Rh-negative woman does not receive Rhogam, her body can develop antibodies which causes her body to respond as if it is allergic to the baby if the baby is Rh-positive. ( 3 )

Abortion and the Rh Factor

It is important to understand the seriousness of the Rh factor. Rh sensitization can occur any time the fetus’ blood mixes with the mother’s blood, which includes miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, or abortion. Therefore, before a woman decides on an abortion, it’s important that she understand the risk of how the Rh factor may affect future pregnancies if not treated correctly.

Death

In extreme cases, complications from abortion (excessive bleeding, infection, organ damage from a perforated uterus and adverse reactions to anesthesia) may lead to death. The risk of death immediately following an induced abortion performed at or below 8 weeks is extremely low (approximately 1 in a million) but increases with length of pregnancy. From 8 weeks to 16-20 weeks, the risk of death increases 30 times, and from 8 weeks to 21 weeks and over, it increases 100 times ( 3 ).

Sources:

1. http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/795001-overview#showall

2. Mifeprex Package Insert FDA-approved label, July 2005.

3. Option Line: http://www.optionline.org/questions/considering-abortion/#note-21#note-21

4. http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/795001-clinical

STD Myths

Thu, 24 Mar 2011 19:57:00 GMT

When it comes to STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) there are still a lot of misperceptions and misunderstandings. It’s important we know the truth about STDs so that we can take control of our own health and well-being. So let’s clear up some of the myths.

10 Myths about STDs:

1. I can’t get STDs from oral sex. Actually, you can. STDs can be transmitted from genital-to-genital contact, from oral-to-genital contact, or from skin-to-skin contact. If you’re having any kind of sex at all – or if you’re having any kind of intimate skin-to-skin contact – talk to your doctor about being screened for STDs.

2. Using a condom protects against STDs. This is a common misperception, but it just isn’t true. STDs like herpes and genital warts can break out in areas that a condom doesn’t cover, so a condom won’t completely protect you from them.

3. Two condoms are better than one. Some people think if one condom can’t completely protect you from an STD, then layered condoms will double the protection. This isn’t true. Using two condoms actually offers less protection than one. Why? Because the two condoms will rub against each other and the friction will weaken both condoms.

4. The birth control pill protects against STDs. Though the pill works pretty well at preventing pregnancy, it can’t protect you against any STD.

5. I can tell whether my partner has an STD. Unfortunately, this isn’t true. You can’t tell if someone has an STD just by looking at them. Often, many STDs don’t even have any symptoms, so your partner may not even know he or she has an STD. The only way to know for sure whether you have an STD is by being tested, and the only way you can know for sure whether a partner has an STD is if that person is also tested.

6. Chlorine in a hot tub or swimming pool kills sperm and anything that causes an STD. This has been a popular urban legend, but it just isn’t true. Chlorine isn’t a spermicide. It doesn’t kill sperm. And though chlorine does help disinfect the water and kills some bacteria, it doesn’t protect you from an STD. Actually, because the water in a hot tub or pool decreases your body’s natural lubrication, you’re more likely to get tiny micro-abrasions in your genital area from the friction of sex, which makes you more susceptible to an STD.

7. I’ve only had sex with one person, so there’s no way I have an STD. Just as you can get pregnant by having sex one time, you can contract an STD any time you have sex – even the first time. If the one person you’ve had sex with has an STD, you’re at risk of also getting that STD. And some STDs can be spread by skin-to-skin contact, so you don’t even have to have full sexual intercourse to get those STDs.

8. I’ve only had a couple sexual partners, and I plan to stay with my current boyfriend forever, and I don’t have any symptoms, so I don’t have to worry about STDs. Any time you’ve had sex with someone, you’ve been exposed to any STDs that person has. And because so many STDs don’t have any overt symptoms, a lot of people don’t even know they have an STD. The only way to know for sure whether you have an STD is to be screened by a medical professional. And the only way to know for sure if your partner has an STD is for him or her to be screened.

9. I’ve been sexually active for a long time and I’ve had several partners. I’d definitely know by now if I had an STD. Unfortunately, this isn’t true. As we’ve said, many STDs don’t have any symptoms that you’d notice.

10. I can’t have more than one STD. This is also false. Actually, it’s common for two or more STDs to go hand-in-hand and be present at the same time. That’s why doctors usually screen for multiple STDs and consider you at risk for other STDs if you’re diagnosed with one.

STDs are common – especially among young people. According to the CDC (https://www.cdc.gov/std/life-stages-populations/stdfact-teens.htm), there are about 20 million new cases of STDs each year in the United States. About half of those – 10 million infections – are among people ages 15 – 24. It’s important for you to know the facts so you can protect yourself.

The only way to completely protect yourself from getting an STD is to not have any kind of sex – anal, oral, or vaginal – and to avoid intimate skin-to-skin contact. If you do decide to have sex, it’s important that both you and your partner are tested for STDs beforehand and that you are both committed to a mutually monogamous relationship – this means you both agree and commit to only ever having any kind of sex with each other.

Have you heard some information about STDs and you’re wondering if it’s true or a myth? Ask us about it in the comments below or call us in Kearney at 308-234-9880 or in Grand Island at 308-675-2217. We’d love to help you be informed so that you can take charge of your sexual health.

Family Advocacy Network

Mon, 22 Nov 2010 15:00:00 GMT

1 out of every 6 American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.” – S.A.F.E. Center Statistics

Have you or someone you know been the victim of any kind of sexual assault or even date rape? The first thing that you need to know that it’s NEVER the victim’s fault, no matter what the circumstances. Sexual assault is a crime.

Here in Kearney, Nebraska, victims of any sexual abuse or assault have access to the Family Advocacy Network (FAN). The staff at FAN can be reached 24/7 by calling 308.865.7942 or 888.836.7432. They currently serve Buffalo county as well as 13 of the surrounding counties. The following video is an interview with Dr. Michele Howe who is the Medical Director at FAN. Click to learn more about how FAN can help you or someone you know who has been victimized.

Other Resources…

The Nebraska Domestic Violence Sexual Assault Coalition is committed to the prevention and elimination of domestic and sexual violence. To find a complete list of Nebraska centers focused on reaching out to those who have experienced or are in the midst of domestic or sexual violence, check out www.ndvsac.org to find a center near you!

One UNK Freshman’s Story….

Wed, 29 Sep 2010 04:07:00 GMT

Stephanie never expected to get pregnant. Like most college girls, she was scared and had no idea how she was going to tell her parents.

Check out this video to see her complete story…