Domestic Violence – 5 Red Flags To Watch For

Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone. It happens between heterosexual relationships and same-sex relationship. It happens across every socio-economic level, every race, every culture, every age range. And because abuse doesn’t usually start out with physical violence, the abuse can gradually creep up and slowly make you feel trapped.

So what are the warning signs? We’ve compiled a list of some red flags you can look out for. These signs aren’t a guarantee that your relationship is headed for physical abuse, but if you see a combination of these signs in your relationship, it should raise some red flags for you.

1 – Controlling behavior. If your partner does any of the following things, you’re wise to be extra cautious:

tries to tell you what to wear or how to look or criticizes your appearance or weight
refuses to let you work or, on the other extreme, forces you to work in a job you don’t want
becomes angry if you have a different opinion or never wants you to offer advice or input
has to know where you are every second and constantly checks up on your or tracks your phone
limits your access to cash or credit/debit cards and makes you account for every dollar you spend
limits your access to a car or makes you feel as if you can’t leave home whenever you want

2 – Cuts you off from friends and family. If your partner makes you ask permission to spend time with other people or becomes angry when you want to spend time with friends or family, that’s a warning sign. If he/she humiliates or embarrasses you or treats you so badly in front of other people that you avoid spending time with others, that’s also a warning sign. An abuser wants to isolate you so that other people won’t realize what’s happening and so that you feel trapped.

3 – Moves too fast. As your relationship progresses, an abusive person may push the relationship too quickly. If this person can get you committed very quickly, he/she can gain more control over you. If you feel like things are moving too fast, trust your gut. Maybe your boyfriend/girlfriend is pressuring you to become physically intimate before you’re ready or is pressuring you to move in together or to get married before you’re ready. Maybe your partner is making grand gestures or expensive purchases for you very early in the relationship that make you feel obligated to stay in the relationship. If things are moving too quickly, don’t hesitate to speak up. Trust your gut.

4 – Blames and threatens. When things go wrong, does your partner blame you? Are all past relationship problems completely an ex-partner’s fault? Does your partner regularly blame a parent or a boss or a co-worker for problems without ever taking responsibility? Maybe your partner randomly accuses you of having an affair or of some other offense that you haven’t done. Abusers want to feel superior to others, and blaming is one way to accomplish that. Threatening is another way an abusive person feels in control and intimidates a partner. If your partner threatens to hurt you or your family, that’s a major red flag. If your partner threatens to harm himself or herself or threatens to commit suicide if you don’t do what he/she says, that’s also a red flag you shouldn’t ignore. If your partner threatens to leave you and take your children so you can’t see them or threatens to harm your children, that’s also a red flag you can’t ignore.

5 – Verbal or physical or sexual violence. Any time a partner screams insults at you, curses you, or makes you feel belittled, that’s verbal abuse and could escalate to physical violence. If your partner gets angry and punches a wall or throws things or breaks things, that’s a huge red flag that physical violence is a possibility. And if your partner physically hurts you or forces you to have any kind of sex or touches you when you don’t want to be touched, you’re already being abused. Even if it’s only happened once or twice or even if you weren’t “really hurt,” it’s still domestic abuse.

If you notice any of these warning signs in your relationship, we encourage you to find someone to talk to – whether it’s a trusted friend or family member or a professional. Abusers are often really good at hiding who they really are, so even your closest friends and family may not see what’s going on. Trust your gut. If you’re afraid you’re being abused, that’s a pretty good sign that your relationship isn’t a healthy one. And the longer you stay, the more danger you’re in and the more difficult it will be to get out.

You deserve a safe, respectful, healthy relationship. If you feel like your relationship isn’t safe or respectful or healthy, we’re available to help you. Call us, and we can refer you to professionals or organizations with the resources and guidance you need.

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I Don’t Want Another Abortion

November 11, 2025

Learning you’re unexpectedly pregnant can bring up complicated emotions, uncertainty, fear, or even exhaustion if you’ve faced this situation before. You may know that you don’t want another abortion, but still wonder what options exist for your future. At Collage, we provide free and confidential support so you can explore your choices in a compassionate environment. Whether you want to understand what parenting or adoption could look like or simply need someone to listen, you’re not alone. Schedule a free appointment today to learn how we can help. Exploring Parenting Parenting can feel like an enormous responsibility, especially if your finances, relationships, or housing situation are uncertain. Many women ask themselves: “Can I really do this on my own?” “Where will I find the help I need?” “What kind of future can I provide for my child?” These are real and valid questions. At Collage, we’ll help you identify the resources and support available in your community. From offering a warm, supportive presence as you explore this option to providing referrals for resources like housing or childcare support, we’ll ensure you’re not facing these challenges alone. Parenting can be both demanding and deeply rewarding. With encouragement, community connections, and the right information, you can feel more confident in providing a stable, nurturing environment for your child. Understanding Adoption If parenting doesn’t feel like the right fit for your current situation, adoption offers another path forward, one rooted in hope and love. You remain in control of the process, deciding how involved you wish to be in your child’s life. You can select from multiple adoption plans depending on your comfort level: Open adoption: Allows for ongoing communication and contact between you, your child, and the adoptive family. Semi-open adoption: Offers limited contact through a third party, maintaining privacy while keeping some connection. Closed adoption: Protects complete confidentiality with no exchange of identifying information. Financial support is available throughout the adoption process. You’ll never pay for legal or medical services related to adoption. Best of all, adoption agencies can help ensure your needs are met and your wishes are respected every step of the way. Adoption is not an easy decision, but for some women, it brings a sense of peace and purpose, knowing their child is loved and cared for in a stable environment. We can discuss this option with you and offer referrals to reputable agencies so you feel informed. Taking the Next Step Your situation is unique, and so is your decision. Whether you’re considering parenting or adoption or simply need time to process your feelings, Collage is here to provide information and encouragement. We’re available to answer questions, explain your options, and connect you with trusted community resources, all at no cost and in a confidential setting. Schedule your free appointment today to start finding clarity and peace of mind. FAQ: Is it normal to feel uncertain about my decision? Yes. Many women experience mixed emotions when facing an unexpected pregnancy. It’s okay to take time and talk through your options before deciding. What if I don’t think I can afford to parent? We can connect you with programs and community partners that provide material and emotional support, so you will feel more equipped to parent if you choose to. How does adoption work? You remain in control. You’ll choose the family and the level of contact and receive guidance from trusted professionals who handle the legal and practical aspects of the process. Are services at Collage really free? Yes. All services are completely free and confidential. Your privacy and comfort are our priority. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

What Can Guys Do with an Unexpected Pregnancy?

By Kirsten Berns • October 28, 2025

Finding out your partner is unexpectedly pregnant can change everything in an instant. You may feel shocked, worried, or unsure about your role. Those feelings are normal. What matters most is how you respond in this moment and what steps you take next. At Collage, we provide no-cost and confidential services for women and men walking through unexpected pregnancies. Schedule an appointment to learn how we can support you—you don’t have to carry the weight of this situation alone. Understanding Your Own Feelings Before you can support your partner, it’s important to process what you’re experiencing. Talking with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor can help you sort through your emotions and understand what this news means. Showing your partner that you are engaging with your own feelings demonstrates that you are taking the pregnancy seriously. Walking With Her Your partner may be feeling the same uncertainty and fear that you are. One of the most powerful things you can do is simply be present. Attend appointments with her, listen when she shares her concerns, and offer support, like running errands or helping with everyday tasks. These small actions communicate that she is not facing this alone. Learning Together Getting informed is one of the best steps you can take together. At Collage, we provide option information so you and your partner can learn more about parenting, adoption, and abortion. Our staff will answer questions and help you understand what each option may look like. Having reliable, unbiased information allows you to approach this decision more confidently. Taking the Next Step This is not something you have to figure out overnight. Unexpected pregnancies can feel overwhelming, but there are resources, support, and people who care about both of you. Collage is here to listen, guide, and provide clarity when you need it most. Request your no-cost and confidential appointment today. Moving forward together can make all the difference. FAQ: What role should I play if my partner is pregnant? Listening, staying present, and supporting her as she makes decisions is crucial. You don’t have to have every answer, but being by her side matters. Can I attend appointments with her? Yes, and many women appreciate having their partner there. It shows support and can help both of you learn about options together. What if my partner chooses parenting and I don’t feel ready to be a dad? It’s normal to feel unprepared. Talking through your concerns with someone you trust and learning about options can help you move forward with more clarity. Does Collage provide abortions? Collage does not provide or refer for abortions. However, we do provide no-cost pre-abortion screenings, confidential services, accurate information, and compassionate support so you and your partner can make informed decisions.

How Will Abortion Affect Me Mentally?

September 24, 2025

When considering abortion, it’s natural to wonder how the decision could affect your mental health. While every woman’s experience is different, being aware of possible emotional impacts and taking time to reflect on your circumstances can help you make an informed choice. At Collage, we provide free, confidential support so you don’t have to navigate these questions alone. Our staff is here to listen, answer your questions, and connect you with the resources you need as you process your options. Contact us to schedule your appointment today. What Research Suggests Research has shown that abortion can lead to a range of emotional responses. The American Psychological Association notes that some women experience grief, sadness, or even clinically significant issues like depression and anxiety afterward. Certain factors may make these outcomes more likely, such as: A history of mental health challenges Pressure from others to make a decision Lack of support or secrecy about the pregnancy Strong personal, cultural, or spiritual beliefs Wanting to continue the pregnancy but feeling unable to Recognizing how these factors may apply to your situation can help you prepare and seek support. You Have Other Options You are the one who will live with this decision, so it’s important not to rush. Confirming your pregnancy with a lab- quality test and ultrasound can provide clarity and help you understand your options, which include parenting and adoption. Speaking with a counselor or a healthcare professional can also give you space to process your feelings without judgment. We’re Here for You At Collage, we offer free pregnancy testing, limited ultrasounds, and confidential consultations so you can explore your options with accurate information and compassionate support. Schedule your free appointment today. You deserve the time, space, and care to make a confident decision with your mental health top of mind. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do provide pre-abortion screenings.