Am I Ready To Get Married?

August 4, 2018

We’ve heard the sing-song rhyme nearly all our lives. First comes love. Then comes marriage. And when we were five and skipping rope to the rhyme or dressing Barbie up in a white dress to walk down the aisle to marry Ken, it all seemed so simple. You meet someone, fall in love, and get married. Easy peasy. Of course, real life isn’t ever that simple!


The decision to get married is a huge one! Maybe you’ve been dating your partner for a while and you’re wondering if it’s time to take the leap and get married. Maybe you’re wondering the age-old questions, “How do you know when you’ve found The One?” or “How do you know when you’re ready for marriage?”


We don’t pretend to have all the answers. Ultimately, you’re the only one who knows when you’re ready. But there are a few signs you can look for that might help you know if you’re ready to walk down the aisle.


You aren’t looking for your other half. A healthy marriage is made of two complete people who love themselves. If you’re looking for someone else to complete you, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and your partner up for frustration. Because that’s too much pressure to put on another person. Nobody else can complete you. And you can’t complete someone else. Your marriage is more likely to get off on the right foot if you love yourself and feel like a whole person with your own network of friends and family to support you.


You know what you’re looking for in a partner – and you’ve found it! What traits do you think are important in a partner? What values do you think your spouse should share with you? Before you get married, consider these questions and see if your boyfriend or girlfriend has the traits and values that are important to you.


You really know each other. You’re vulnerable with each other about your insecurities and mistakes, and you still love each other. When you know the hard stuff about each other and you both stick around, that’s a good sign that you’re committed to each other – you know, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health.


When you think about the future, your partner is part of it. When you daydream about 10 years from now or 20 years from now, is your boyfriend or girlfriend part of those daydreams? Have you talked about whether you both want children? Or where you want to live? Or the kind of life you want to live? If you’re on the same page about all the major decisions and you can easily see yourself together for the long haul, then maybe you’ve found the one.


You trust each other and feel secure together. You don’t have doubts about how your partner feels about you. Neither of you threatens to leave when conflict comes up. When you spend time apart, neither of you worries about whether the other is being faithful. A strong marriage is built on trust and security, so having that is a good start to knowing you’re ready for marriage.


You’re ready to make the effort to keep the spark alive. You’ve probably heard older people talk about how much work marriage is. All the spark or chemistry or lovey-dovey feelings you have when a relationship is just starting out won’t consistently be there on a day-to-day basis. Feelings fluctuate. Moods shift. Daily life happens. And sometimes a relationship requires hard work. Are you ready to do the work? Because a healthy marriage requires intentional work on your relationship.


You’re motivated by love and commitment. Not by an agenda or a timeline. You don’t see all your friends getting married and think, “Well, it’s time for me to get married too.” You aren’t graduating from college or turning 25 or turning 30 and thinking that marriage is The Next Step. You’re not feeling pressured to get married because you’re pregnant or because you’ve had sex or because he’s the first guy who’s told you he loves you. It’s a good idea to think about why you want to get married. If your strongest reasons are anything except a genuine love and commitment to your partner, then maybe take a step back and give the relationship more time to grow before you consider marriage.


Who to marry and when to get married — those are some big decisions. Good for you for giving careful thought to whether or not you’re ready! As we said, we don’t pretend to have all the answers, but we’re here to help you ask the hard questions so you can figure out the answers that are best for you. If you want to talk to one of our staff members, please call today.

June 4, 2025
An unexpected pregnancy can leave you with more questions than answers. Especially when friends are urging you to choose abortion, you may be more confused than ever. While their advice might come from care or fear, it’s essential to remember this is your pregnancy, future, and choice. At Collage, we’re here to help you navigate this pressure and find a path that feels right for you so that you can feel informed and confident about your decision. Reach out to us today for no-cost support. Listen to Your Instincts Your friends might be an important part of your life, but your instincts matter most. If abortion doesn’t feel right, take a moment to ask: What’s holding me back? Maybe you’re picturing parenting your child or are curious about adoption.  It’s also important to keep in mind that abortion is a serious procedure that your friends may not fully grasp the details of. Physical and emotional risks are involved, making it a more complex decision. Your hesitation is a sign to slow down and explore, not to rush into a choice you’re not ready for. Talk It Out If your friends keep pressing, try a gentle conversation. Let them know you understand they’re worried, you’re not sure about abortion yet. Ask what’s driving their advice. Maybe they’re scared about your finances or future. Maybe they’re simply telling you what they’d do in your situation, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Understanding their side can ease tension without giving in. If they won’t respect your space, set boundaries and let them know you need time to think. You don’t owe them an immediate answer. Find Your Support Surround yourself with people who’ll lift you up, not pull you down. Write down your thoughts or talk to someone neutral. You can find a counselor or even online spaces where you can share your heart with those who won’t push one option over another. Even a trusted family member, a mentor, or a place like Collage can offer perspective without strings. You deserve to make this decision with clear facts and a steady heart, not under pressure. Help is Available If your friends are pushing abortion but you’re not ready, Collage is here with no-cost lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited obstetric ultrasounds, and pregnancy options education to help you decide what’s next. Our trained team offers confidential support to explore parenting, adoption, or abortion without pressure. Contact us for a no-cost appointment today. You deserve to choose your own path.
May 21, 2025
An unexpected pregnancy can flip your world upside down, and the urge to keep it under wraps might hit hard. Maybe you’re thinking abortion could erase the situation quietly.
April 2, 2025
What do you do when those closest to you start pushing you toward a decision that doesn’t feel right? Pressure from family or friends to choose abortion can leave you feeling stuck, unheard, and unsure of what to do next. How can you hold firm in your decision while dealing with well-meaning but overwhelming advice? Here’s what you can do to navigate this difficult situation with strength and resilience. Mental Health and Pressure Your decision should be your own—one that isn’t influenced by guilt or outside expectations. Studies show that women who feel pressured into abortion are more likely to experience guilt, anxiety, depression, and other negative mental health outcomes. Protecting your mental and emotional health starts with making a choice that aligns with what you truly want. Ways to Handle the Pressure Since you understand why this decision needs to be yours, here are some practical steps to help you handle outside pressure. Give Yourself Time You don’t have to decide right away. Take a moment, think through your feelings, and give yourself the gift to reflect without feeling rushed. You're less likely to regret a decision made on your terms. Learn About All Your Options Abortion isn’t your only choice. Parenting and adoption are also possibilities, each with its own forms of support and resources. Learning more about these options can help you make an informed decision you feel at peace with. Set Boundaries It can be tough to stand your ground when others have strong opinions about your decision. Clearly expressing your thoughts by setting boundaries can help you avoid unwanted pressure. Letting others know you need time and space to think can help shift the conversation away from their influence and back to what’s best for you. Advice from a Third Party Getting a different perspective on your situation can be helpful when seeking advice from someone outside your inner circle. This could be a professional counselor, an online support group, or a caring team member at Collage . You deserve people in your life who want to understand you without judgment. You Are Not Alone Even if those around you don’t fully understand, there are people who do. A supportive environment can make all the difference as you navigate this decision. Collage is here to walk with you during this time. We offer lab-quality pregnancy testing, limited OB ultrasounds, pregnancy options information, and more at no cost so you can get informed and have the support you need to move forward with certainty.  Schedule a confidential appointment today.
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