7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Having Sex

Having sex is a big deal. It changes a relationship and it changes you. It’s something you need to think about and plan for before you’re in the moment. If it comes up, how will you respond? Are you ready, or should you wait? Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to have sex. And if you’ve had sex, it doesn’t mean you have to again.

Here are 7 questions to ask yourself before having sex.

Are you feeling pressure to have sex?

It might be your partner or it might be the feeling that all your friends are having sex and you don’t want to be left behind. Standing up for yourself can be hard, but knowing who you are and what your boundaries are ahead of time can help you have the strength to make the decisions that are going to be best for you. You’re value and worth don’t depend on whether or not you are having sex, they come from you just being you. Not sure what to say or how to stand up for yourself, we’d love to talk with you and help.

Are you afraid you might lose your partner if you don’t have sex?

If your partner doesn’t love you enough to respect your boundaries and decisions, having sex isn’t going to keep them around. You deserve someone who values you for you, not what you can give them and you should never have to do something you don’t want to do or aren’t comfortable doing to keep them.

Are you going to regret this later?

Those voices in your head, listen to them. If you’re uncomfortable, scared, or think you might feel guilty afterwards it’s okay to say no. Sex is meant to be a beautiful thing, not something you regret having too soon or in ways you aren’t comfortable with. You should be the one making the decisions and those decisions need to be ones you can live with, regret free.

Do you both know what you need to about preventing unexpected pregnancy and STDs?

If you decide to have sex there is a chance you can find yourself facing an unexpected pregnancy or catching a STD. Be sure you have all the information you need about STDs before making a decision. You deserve to know the facts before you put yourself at risk. If you have questions, we have several blogs and we’re available in the office to answer your questions.

Is my partner really ready?

Sometimes your partner will push you to have sex even if they aren’t sure they are ready themselves. They may think it is what you want, or they may be feeling the pressure from their friends. Talking with your partner about it may reveal they aren’t feeling ready themselves.

Does this line up with who I am and what I value?

Everyone has values that help them make decisions and that shape who they are and who they want to be as a person. In life we are confronted with decisions daily that force us to choose between those things we value and the alternatives. To stay true to who we are as a person, you must stay true to your values. If you value honesty, you’re going to be faced with the decision of being honest or telling a lie. If you value waiting to have sex until you’re married, you will be faced with that decision. In the end, being true to you, to your values will help you avoid those feelings of regret.

Are you in control?

Have you been drinking or are you under the influence of something else? Beer goggles are real. It’s hard to be in control and to make good decisions when you’re drunk, and this is one you want to make with a clear mind. Skip the sex for now and wait until you’re in control and won’t have regrets.

This is a big decision, one you have to make for yourself. But, we think these 6 questions will help you make the decision that is best for you, a decision you can live with.

We’d love to hear what you think. Are there other questions you should ask before making the decision to have sex?

< Older Post

Newer Post >

I Don’t Want Another Abortion

November 11, 2025

Learning you’re unexpectedly pregnant can bring up complicated emotions, uncertainty, fear, or even exhaustion if you’ve faced this situation before. You may know that you don’t want another abortion, but still wonder what options exist for your future. At Collage, we provide free and confidential support so you can explore your choices in a compassionate environment. Whether you want to understand what parenting or adoption could look like or simply need someone to listen, you’re not alone. Schedule a free appointment today to learn how we can help. Exploring Parenting Parenting can feel like an enormous responsibility, especially if your finances, relationships, or housing situation are uncertain. Many women ask themselves: “Can I really do this on my own?” “Where will I find the help I need?” “What kind of future can I provide for my child?” These are real and valid questions. At Collage, we’ll help you identify the resources and support available in your community. From offering a warm, supportive presence as you explore this option to providing referrals for resources like housing or childcare support, we’ll ensure you’re not facing these challenges alone. Parenting can be both demanding and deeply rewarding. With encouragement, community connections, and the right information, you can feel more confident in providing a stable, nurturing environment for your child. Understanding Adoption If parenting doesn’t feel like the right fit for your current situation, adoption offers another path forward, one rooted in hope and love. You remain in control of the process, deciding how involved you wish to be in your child’s life. You can select from multiple adoption plans depending on your comfort level: Open adoption: Allows for ongoing communication and contact between you, your child, and the adoptive family. Semi-open adoption: Offers limited contact through a third party, maintaining privacy while keeping some connection. Closed adoption: Protects complete confidentiality with no exchange of identifying information. Financial support is available throughout the adoption process. You’ll never pay for legal or medical services related to adoption. Best of all, adoption agencies can help ensure your needs are met and your wishes are respected every step of the way. Adoption is not an easy decision, but for some women, it brings a sense of peace and purpose, knowing their child is loved and cared for in a stable environment. We can discuss this option with you and offer referrals to reputable agencies so you feel informed. Taking the Next Step Your situation is unique, and so is your decision. Whether you’re considering parenting or adoption or simply need time to process your feelings, Collage is here to provide information and encouragement. We’re available to answer questions, explain your options, and connect you with trusted community resources, all at no cost and in a confidential setting. Schedule your free appointment today to start finding clarity and peace of mind. FAQ: Is it normal to feel uncertain about my decision? Yes. Many women experience mixed emotions when facing an unexpected pregnancy. It’s okay to take time and talk through your options before deciding. What if I don’t think I can afford to parent? We can connect you with programs and community partners that provide material and emotional support, so you will feel more equipped to parent if you choose to. How does adoption work? You remain in control. You’ll choose the family and the level of contact and receive guidance from trusted professionals who handle the legal and practical aspects of the process. Are services at Collage really free? Yes. All services are completely free and confidential. Your privacy and comfort are our priority. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

What Can Guys Do with an Unexpected Pregnancy?

By Kirsten Berns • October 28, 2025

Finding out your partner is unexpectedly pregnant can change everything in an instant. You may feel shocked, worried, or unsure about your role. Those feelings are normal. What matters most is how you respond in this moment and what steps you take next. At Collage, we provide no-cost and confidential services for women and men walking through unexpected pregnancies. Schedule an appointment to learn how we can support you—you don’t have to carry the weight of this situation alone. Understanding Your Own Feelings Before you can support your partner, it’s important to process what you’re experiencing. Talking with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor can help you sort through your emotions and understand what this news means. Showing your partner that you are engaging with your own feelings demonstrates that you are taking the pregnancy seriously. Walking With Her Your partner may be feeling the same uncertainty and fear that you are. One of the most powerful things you can do is simply be present. Attend appointments with her, listen when she shares her concerns, and offer support, like running errands or helping with everyday tasks. These small actions communicate that she is not facing this alone. Learning Together Getting informed is one of the best steps you can take together. At Collage, we provide option information so you and your partner can learn more about parenting, adoption, and abortion. Our staff will answer questions and help you understand what each option may look like. Having reliable, unbiased information allows you to approach this decision more confidently. Taking the Next Step This is not something you have to figure out overnight. Unexpected pregnancies can feel overwhelming, but there are resources, support, and people who care about both of you. Collage is here to listen, guide, and provide clarity when you need it most. Request your no-cost and confidential appointment today. Moving forward together can make all the difference. FAQ: What role should I play if my partner is pregnant? Listening, staying present, and supporting her as she makes decisions is crucial. You don’t have to have every answer, but being by her side matters. Can I attend appointments with her? Yes, and many women appreciate having their partner there. It shows support and can help both of you learn about options together. What if my partner chooses parenting and I don’t feel ready to be a dad? It’s normal to feel unprepared. Talking through your concerns with someone you trust and learning about options can help you move forward with more clarity. Does Collage provide abortions? Collage does not provide or refer for abortions. However, we do provide no-cost pre-abortion screenings, confidential services, accurate information, and compassionate support so you and your partner can make informed decisions.

How Will Abortion Affect Me Mentally?

September 24, 2025

When considering abortion, it’s natural to wonder how the decision could affect your mental health. While every woman’s experience is different, being aware of possible emotional impacts and taking time to reflect on your circumstances can help you make an informed choice. At Collage, we provide free, confidential support so you don’t have to navigate these questions alone. Our staff is here to listen, answer your questions, and connect you with the resources you need as you process your options. Contact us to schedule your appointment today. What Research Suggests Research has shown that abortion can lead to a range of emotional responses. The American Psychological Association notes that some women experience grief, sadness, or even clinically significant issues like depression and anxiety afterward. Certain factors may make these outcomes more likely, such as: A history of mental health challenges Pressure from others to make a decision Lack of support or secrecy about the pregnancy Strong personal, cultural, or spiritual beliefs Wanting to continue the pregnancy but feeling unable to Recognizing how these factors may apply to your situation can help you prepare and seek support. You Have Other Options You are the one who will live with this decision, so it’s important not to rush. Confirming your pregnancy with a lab- quality test and ultrasound can provide clarity and help you understand your options, which include parenting and adoption. Speaking with a counselor or a healthcare professional can also give you space to process your feelings without judgment. We’re Here for You At Collage, we offer free pregnancy testing, limited ultrasounds, and confidential consultations so you can explore your options with accurate information and compassionate support. Schedule your free appointment today. You deserve the time, space, and care to make a confident decision with your mental health top of mind. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do provide pre-abortion screenings.