6 Ways To Understand Your Self-Worth
November 9, 2019
We live in a comparison culture. Advertising, traditional media, and social media seem to be built on comparisons. And we’re often comparing all the ugly truth we know about ourselves with someone else’s carefully curated social media image. Someone once said it’s like we’re comparing our own blooper reel to someone else’s highlight reel — our worst with their best.
The constant barrage of other people’s filtered photos — their perfect-looking vacations, their Pinterest-worthy outfits, their 20 best minutes of the week. All of it can make us feel less-than. Less pretty. Less successful. Less fun. Less worthy.
And when we aren’t feeling our own self-worth, we’re more likely to get caught up in relationships and behaviors that don’t place value on us. We’re less likely to set healthy boundaries or set high enough standards for how others treat us if we don’t see our own self-worth.
So how can we build self-esteem? How can we better see our own self-worth? Well, we don’t have all the answers, but we came up with 6 things you can do to help you feel your own self-worth.
- Surround yourself with people who build you up. Obviously, some of us have parents or family members who tend to tear us down or make us feel criticized. There’s nothing we can do about that. If you’re under a certain age, you may not have a choice about whether to be around those people. But you can choose friends who build you up, friends who recognize the beauty in you. You can also find a mentor who will encourage you and speak positive things to you.
- Monitor the messages coming into your life. If spending time on Instagram makes you feel bad about yourself or less-than, then stop scrolling. If looking through fashion magazines makes you feel like you don’t measure up, put down the magazine. If scrolling Pinterest makes you feel like a hot mess, delete the app from your phone. Pay attention to how you feel after consuming too much media – social or traditional – and make the adjustments you need to for your own mental and emotional health.
- Talk kindly to yourself. Often, the sort of things we say to ourselves, we’d never say to a friend! Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to your very best friend. When you mess up, talk to yourself the way you would a friend. Assure yourself that it’s OK to be human, then learn from the mistake and move on. When you look in the mirror, find one thing to compliment yourself on – imagine the person in the mirror is your best friend and ask, “What would I say to my friend if she showed up looking like this?” Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself, and then re-frame any negative thoughts into positive ones.
- Set achievable goals and then work toward them. When we accomplish goals, we feel good about ourselves. If this is new to you, start small. Make a daily to-do list and think of one goal for the day. Maybe it’s walking for one mile, reading 10 pages of a book, studying for that test, making that one hard phone call, or eating a healthy meal. At the end of the day, cross the tasks off your list and see if you met your daily goal. Gradually work your way up to weekly or monthly goals. Be sure to celebrate yourself when you meet your goals!
- Keep a gratitude journal. At the end of every day, write down 5 things you’re thankful for and one thing you’re proud of yourself for or one thing you like about yourself. Creating a space within each day to recognize your own value is a healthy way to build self-esteem.
- Volunteer. We feel good about ourselves when we help other people. What does your community need that you have to offer? Find a way to serve others, and you’ll feel valuable to your community. That’s sure to help you see your own self-worth!
Here’s the thing — we all have value just because we exist. You’re worthy of love. You’re worthy of joy and goodness. And your worth isn’t measured in how many social media hearts you get or how often you’re ReTweeted. Even if all your Pinterest attempts fail, you’re still valuable. And those media-perfect images you’re comparing yourself to aren’t realistic; they don’t tell the full story. You don’t know what’s been cropped out and filtered over or how many pictures got deleted before that one got posted. You’re enough – exactly as you are. Your past mistakes, your weaknesses and flaws, your insecurities – none of that diminishes your worth. Actually, all of that is what makes you uniquely, beautifully you!
If you’re struggling to see your self-worth or if you’ve had a hard time setting healthy boundaries because of your lack of self-esteem, we’d love to talk with you. Call us and someone on our staff will listen and connect you to some resources that can help you live your best, healthiest life. Because you’re worth it!
Facing an unplanned pregnancy can bring up difficult questions, especially when it comes to your relationship. You may be wondering whether you are required to tell your partner you’re considering an abortion, or whether it’s okay to keep that information private. Fear of conflict, concern about pressure, or a desire to protect your emotional well-being can all play a role. These feelings are common, and it’s okay to take time to think through what feels safest and healthiest for you. Collage offers a confidential and non-judgmental space where you can discuss these concerns without pressure. Before making any decisions, we provide cost-free pregnancy services , including ultrasounds, to help you understand important details about your pregnancy. Our goal is to give you accurate medical information and the space you need to move forward with clarity. You’re welcome to schedule a private, confidential appointment to learn more when you feel ready. Understanding Your Autonomy In many states, adults are not legally required to tell a partner if they’re considering or planning an abortion. Medical decisions about your body are generally protected by privacy laws, meaning the decision is legally yours. Some exceptions exist, such as parental involvement laws for minors, but partner notification is typically not required for adults. Even when the law is clear, the emotional side of this decision can feel complicated. You may feel torn between maintaining privacy and wanting honesty in your relationship. There is no single “right” approach, only what best supports your well-being and circumstances. When Safety Is a Concern In some relationships, sharing your thoughts with a partner may lead to understanding or emotional support. In others, it may not feel safe. If you’re worried about pressure, manipulation, anger, or physical harm, prioritizing your safety is essential. You’re never obligated to share information that could put you at risk. If you feel unsafe or unsure, confidential help is available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-SAFE). Support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Why Medical Information Matters Whether or not you involve your partner, having accurate medical information is an important step. An ultrasound can help confirm gestational age, pregnancy location, and whether the pregnancy is viable. These details matter for your health and can help you feel more grounded as you consider your next steps. You Are Not Alone At Collage, we offer a confidential, respectful environment where your voice and concerns are taken seriously. Our team provides pregnancy confirmation, emotional support, and space to think through your situation without pressure or judgment. You deserve time, clarity, and peace of mind as you decide what is right for your life. Connect with Collage to discuss your questions in a supportive and confidential setting. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.
Holiday gatherings often bring familiar traditions, questions, and expectations. But when you’re carrying the news of an unexpected pregnancy that you haven’t shared, the season may feel different this year. You might be participating in celebrations while quietly navigating thoughts and emotions that others cannot see. If you want clarity about your pregnancy or a private space to consider your next steps, Collage offers free services, including pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and confidential consultations, to support your needs. Schedule your appointment today. Prepare Yourself, Not the Perfect Conversation You may not be ready to share your news, and that’s okay. What can help is preparing yourself: deciding on the topics you’re comfortable discussing, the questions you want to avoid, and the boundaries you want to set. This proactivity allows you to answer without feeling like you need to tell all and not overshare. Create Space Throughout the Gathering Instead of thinking about the whole event at once, break it into smaller, manageable moments. Emotional regulation becomes easier when you give yourself space to reset. Try: Stepping outside for a few breaths of fresh air Finding a quiet room for a brief pause Taking a short walk after a meal Giving yourself permission to excuse yourself from overwhelming conversations These small steps can help protect your peace. Remember that if at any point during the gathering you’re ready to go home, go ahead. Take care of yourself by calling it a day when necessary. Meet Your Basic Needs Early pregnancy symptoms such as nausea and fatigue can be uncomfortable during gatherings. Come prepared to meet your own needs by bringing pregnancy nausea candy, snacks to settle your stomach, and a water bottle. Store these items in your purse, knowing they’re ready when you need them. You Don’t Have to Navigate This Season Alone If you want clarity before facing holiday conversations, Collage can help you understand your pregnancy and answer questions in a calm, confidential setting, which can make these boundaries easier to hold. Contact us whenever you’re ready to schedule a free appointment. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .
Learning you’re unexpectedly pregnant can bring up complicated emotions, uncertainty, fear, or even exhaustion if you’ve faced this situation before. You may know that you don’t want another abortion, but still wonder what options exist for your future. At Collage, we provide free and confidential support so you can explore your choices in a compassionate environment. Whether you want to understand what parenting or adoption could look like or simply need someone to listen, you’re not alone. Schedule a free appointment today to learn how we can help. Exploring Parenting Parenting can feel like an enormous responsibility, especially if your finances, relationships, or housing situation are uncertain. Many women ask themselves: “Can I really do this on my own?” “Where will I find the help I need?” “What kind of future can I provide for my child?” These are real and valid questions. At Collage, we’ll help you identify the resources and support available in your community. From offering a warm, supportive presence as you explore this option to providing referrals for resources like housing or childcare support, we’ll ensure you’re not facing these challenges alone. Parenting can be both demanding and deeply rewarding. With encouragement, community connections, and the right information, you can feel more confident in providing a stable, nurturing environment for your child. Understanding Adoption If parenting doesn’t feel like the right fit for your current situation, adoption offers another path forward, one rooted in hope and love. You remain in control of the process, deciding how involved you wish to be in your child’s life. You can select from multiple adoption plans depending on your comfort level: Open adoption: Allows for ongoing communication and contact between you, your child, and the adoptive family. Semi-open adoption: Offers limited contact through a third party, maintaining privacy while keeping some connection. Closed adoption: Protects complete confidentiality with no exchange of identifying information. Financial support is available throughout the adoption process. You’ll never pay for legal or medical services related to adoption. Best of all, adoption agencies can help ensure your needs are met and your wishes are respected every step of the way. Adoption is not an easy decision, but for some women, it brings a sense of peace and purpose, knowing their child is loved and cared for in a stable environment. We can discuss this option with you and offer referrals to reputable agencies so you feel informed. Taking the Next Step Your situation is unique, and so is your decision. Whether you’re considering parenting or adoption or simply need time to process your feelings, Collage is here to provide information and encouragement. We’re available to answer questions, explain your options, and connect you with trusted community resources, all at no cost and in a confidential setting. Schedule your free appointment today to start finding clarity and peace of mind. FAQ: Is it normal to feel uncertain about my decision? Yes. Many women experience mixed emotions when facing an unexpected pregnancy. It’s okay to take time and talk through your options before deciding. What if I don’t think I can afford to parent? We can connect you with programs and community partners that provide material and emotional support, so you will feel more equipped to parent if you choose to. How does adoption work? You remain in control. You’ll choose the family and the level of contact and receive guidance from trusted professionals who handle the legal and practical aspects of the process. Are services at Collage really free? Yes. All services are completely free and confidential. Your privacy and comfort are our priority. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.
