5 Things To Consider Before Living Together

You’ve been dating for a while and things seem to be getting serious. You think you’re ready to take the next step and are wondering if maybe it’s time to move in together.

You’re Not Alone

If those thoughts have crossed you mind, you’re not alone. Cohabitation, or living together, has increased by more than 1,500% since the 1960’s according to a survey from the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia. This shift has been attributed to many factors from the current state of the economy to the availability of birth control. Whatever the cause, the cultural acceptance and perceived convenience continue to lead many couples to consider this as an option, often without weighing all the pros and cons of how it will affect their relationship both in the short and long-term.

While there are many things to consider before moving in together, here are five that may not immediately come to mind, but should be given some serious thought.

#1 – Living Together – The Test Drive

So are you thinking about going for a test drive? Often times couples express that living together will give them good idea of just how compatible they are before getting married. They see the divorce rate, or have experienced divorce in their family, and think living together will help them avoid going down that path.

Often guys will jokingly equate it to checking out a car. They sometimes say things like, “You wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it. Why would you get married without a test drive?” I’m sure they mean no harm, but think about what that communicates. What if they don’t like the test drive? What is your return policy? But that isn’t the only problem with this way of thinking. Studies show that couples that live together are actually more likely to divorce than those who don’t. They also tend to be less satisfied with their marriages if they do indeed get married. Taking a car for a test drive is very different than owning one and having to keep up with the scheduled maintenance to keep it running well.

#2 – Living Together – It Just Happens

Maybe you end up living together because you just get tired of carting your toothbrush and an extra pair of clothes around with you all the time. Sometimes when couples end up living together, it wasn’t something they planned, it just happened. After dating for a while they started sleeping over at each other’s place occasionally. Soon they were sleeping over a lot and then they were practically living together. They wonder if it will be cheaper and more convenient to just move in together and a quick decision is made, thinking that if it doesn’t work out they can get out quickly too. They go down this gradual slope, what researches call “sliding, not deciding” and they find themselves living together with no real point of decision, no rings, no ceremonies, and often no real conversation about why the want to live together and what that means. If asked why they are living together, they often answer, “It just happened.”

#3 – Living Together – Very Different Expectations

Because living together sometimes “just happens” without a real conversation and clear expectations, couples often find themselves frustrated because it isn’t what they thought it would be. Obviously each couple is different, but researchers have found men and women have different attitudes and expectations about living together. In general, women tend to see living together as the next step toward marriage while men see it as a way to test the relationship or even delay commitment. These differences even affect the relationship if it does end up in marriage, often leading to negative experiences as they interact, lower levels of commitment and a higher rate of infidelity. Setting clear expectations is important for any relationship to avoid frustration and disappointment.

#4 – Living Together – Easy In, Easy Out…Right?

Couples approach living together with a very different mindset then they do marriage. While men and women have very different expectations when it comes to cohabitation, they do tend to agree that their standards for a live-in significant other are lower than they would be for a spouse. This makes it much easier to enter a live-in situation. But what they thought was a cost saving, low-risk arrangement often isn’t so easy to get out of. Shared rent, shared furniture, shared pets and potentially shared children make getting out more challenging than they ever imagined. It’s like those companies who show up on campus offering you a free t-shirt for signing up for a credit card. Sure you get the t-shirt, but you also get the 20% interest rate after the first six months. What you thought was a low cost t-shirt can end up costing way more than you ever expected.

#5 – Living Together – Because I’m Not Sure I Want To Be Married

Often couples find themselves debating living together because they are truly in love, but one or both partners really aren’t sure marriage is a good idea or even relevant. They may have experienced divorce or abuse in their family and have associated those feeling with marriage rather than the brokenness of their parents. They don’t want to experience those themselves, so they avoid marriage and commitment. Yet, those same feelings occur in live-in situations, and they actually occur more frequently. Studies consistently show that marriage increases the well being of women, men and children. They report being happier, more content and they have lower death rates than those who live together. While marriage isn’t a guarantee of commitment or happiness, and no one says it is easy, statistics say it does increase your chances over living together.

A Big Decision

Living together is a big decision and there many factors to consider in addition to the five we mentioned. If living together is something you’re thinking about and need someone to talk to, we’d love to sit down and listen and help you work through all the pros and cons.

So what if you’ve already made the move and are having second thoughts? We’re here for you too.

Bottom line, we care about you and want you to have healthy relationships and a promising future. If we can ever help, please contact us.

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My Partner is Pressuring Me to Have an Abortion, But I’m Not Sure

February 10, 2026

An unexpected pregnancy can already feel like a lot to carry. However, when your partner is strongly pushing you toward abortion, and you’re not sure what you want, it can feel even heavier. You may feel torn between your own emotions and his expectations, trying to keep the peace while feeling anxious or confused. If you’re in this situation, take a deep breath. At Collage, we understand how emotionally complicated this can be. You deserve a safe place to talk through what you’re feeling and be treated with respect. You don’t have to rush into a decision. Schedule a free appointment to learn how we can help you navigate this situation. It’s Your Decision Sometimes a partner’s reaction is rooted in panic. He may be thinking about finances, school, your relationship, or how unprepared he feels. In his mind, abortion may seem like the fastest solution. When someone repeatedly insists on one outcome, refuses to listen, or makes you feel guilty for even considering other options, it can start to feel like your voice doesn’t matter. And in a moment this vulnerable, your voice matters more than ever. Giving Yourself Space If conversations feel tense or emotionally draining, it’s okay to take a step back. You have the right to say something like, “I need time to think. I’m not ready to decide right now.” Creating a little space can help you reconnect with your own thoughts instead of constantly reacting to his. Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause, breathe, and remind yourself that you don’t have to figure everything out in one day. You Deserve Respect It’s also important to pay attention to warning signs. If your partner threatens to leave, withdraw support, manipulate you emotionally, or isolate you from others unless you choose abortion, that is not love. That is control. You deserve a relationship where your safety and well-being are protected, not threatened. If you ever feel unsafe, reach out for immediate support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) offers 24/7 confidential resources to help you get the assistance you need. You Deserve a Safe Place to Talk It Through At Collage, we’re here to support you. You don’t have to walk into our center with a decision already made. You can come in simply because you need someone to listen, help you process, and remind you that you are not alone. This is your pregnancy and future. If your partner is pressuring you and you’re feeling unsure, please know that help is available. We offer a calm, caring environment where you can talk openly, ask questions, and explore your options without feeling judged or persuaded to make a specific decision. You are not alone in this. Schedule an appointment with Collage today. We’re here to walk with you, one step at a time. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .

Do I Have to Tell My Partner I Want an Abortion?

January 23, 2026

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can bring up difficult questions, especially when it comes to your relationship. You may be wondering whether you are required to tell your partner you’re considering an abortion, or whether it’s okay to keep that information private. Fear of conflict, concern about pressure, or a desire to protect your emotional well-being can all play a role. These feelings are common, and it’s okay to take time to think through what feels safest and healthiest for you. Collage offers a confidential and non-judgmental space where you can discuss these concerns without pressure. Before making any decisions, we provide cost-free pregnancy services , including ultrasounds, to help you understand important details about your pregnancy. Our goal is to give you accurate medical information and the space you need to move forward with clarity. You’re welcome to schedule a private, confidential appointment to learn more when you feel ready. Understanding Your Autonomy In many states, adults are not legally required to tell a partner if they’re considering or planning an abortion. Medical decisions about your body are generally protected by privacy laws, meaning the decision is legally yours. Some exceptions exist, such as parental involvement laws for minors, but partner notification is typically not required for adults. Even when the law is clear, the emotional side of this decision can feel complicated. You may feel torn between maintaining privacy and wanting honesty in your relationship. There is no single “right” approach, only what best supports your well-being and circumstances. When Safety Is a Concern In some relationships, sharing your thoughts with a partner may lead to understanding or emotional support. In others, it may not feel safe. If you’re worried about pressure, manipulation, anger, or physical harm, prioritizing your safety is essential. You’re never obligated to share information that could put you at risk. If you feel unsafe or unsure, confidential help is available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-SAFE). Support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Why Medical Information Matters Whether or not you involve your partner, having accurate medical information is an important step. An ultrasound can help confirm gestational age, pregnancy location, and whether the pregnancy is viable. These details matter for your health and can help you feel more grounded as you consider your next steps. You Are Not Alone At Collage, we offer a confidential, respectful environment where your voice and concerns are taken seriously. Our team provides pregnancy confirmation, emotional support, and space to think through your situation without pressure or judgment. You deserve time, clarity, and peace of mind as you decide what is right for your life. Connect with Collage to discuss your questions in a supportive and confidential setting. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services.

How to Handle Holiday Gatherings When You Haven’t Shared Your Pregnancy News Yet

December 17, 2025

Holiday gatherings often bring familiar traditions, questions, and expectations. But when you’re carrying the news of an unexpected pregnancy that you haven’t shared, the season may feel different this year. You might be participating in celebrations while quietly navigating thoughts and emotions that others cannot see. If you want clarity about your pregnancy or a private space to consider your next steps, Collage offers free services, including pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and confidential consultations, to support your needs. Schedule your appointment today. Prepare Yourself, Not the Perfect Conversation You may not be ready to share your news, and that’s okay. What can help is preparing yourself: deciding on the topics you’re comfortable discussing, the questions you want to avoid, and the boundaries you want to set. This proactivity allows you to answer without feeling like you need to tell all and not overshare. Create Space Throughout the Gathering Instead of thinking about the whole event at once, break it into smaller, manageable moments. Emotional regulation becomes easier when you give yourself space to reset. Try: Stepping outside for a few breaths of fresh air Finding a quiet room for a brief pause Taking a short walk after a meal Giving yourself permission to excuse yourself from overwhelming conversations These small steps can help protect your peace. Remember that if at any point during the gathering you’re ready to go home, go ahead. Take care of yourself by calling it a day when necessary. Meet Your Basic Needs Early pregnancy symptoms such as nausea and fatigue can be uncomfortable during gatherings. Come prepared to meet your own needs by bringing pregnancy nausea candy, snacks to settle your stomach, and a water bottle. Store these items in your purse, knowing they’re ready when you need them. You Don’t Have to Navigate This Season Alone If you want clarity before facing holiday conversations, Collage can help you understand your pregnancy and answer questions in a calm, confidential setting, which can make these boundaries easier to hold. Contact us whenever you’re ready to schedule a free appointment. Collage does not provide or refer for abortions; however, we do offer pre-abortion screening through our no-cost services .