Note: If you feel like you're in immediate danger or know someone who is, please call emergency services or your local law enforcement.

When we hear the words “sex trafficking,” it’s easy for dramatic scenes of kidnapping by strangers and crossing international borders to come to mind, such as those in popular movies like “Taken” and “Sound of Freedom.” While sex trafficking can happen this way, it’s far more common to begin with subtle grooming, a form of emotional manipulation, by a person who claims to care for you. In 2020, 42% of victims were trafficked by a member of their own families, and 39% were recruited through an intimate partner or a marriage proposition. This tactic is even more insidious because the victim may not realize that they’re being trafficked for a very long time and even feel a sense of loyalty to their trafficker.

Our relationships should lift us up, not leave us vulnerable to manipulation and abuse. So, in honor of Human Trafficking Prevention Month, we’re helping our readers spot the red flags that may mean your partner is using you for sex trafficking.

Decoding Manipulation

Traffickers often work to gain their victims’ trust, make them financially dependent, and convince them that sex work is normal and necessary. Once this dynamic is established, the victim ends up cooperating in their own exploitation, thinking they have made the choice to do so independently.

Emotional Manipulation: Your partner might use emotional tricks to keep you under their thumb. Look out for signs like extreme jealousy, guilt-trips that never end, or them trying to cut you off from friends and family.

Love Bombing: At the beginning of a relationship, some people go all-out with affection and gifts to make you feel like you need them in your life. This is a trick to make you bond with and trust them more quickly than you normally would.

Gaslighting: This is when they make you doubt your feelings and sanity. They might brush off your concerns or tell you you're "crazy" for suspecting them. We actually have an entire post about gaslighting, which you’re welcome to read here.

Spotting Signs of Sex Trafficking

Total Control: Traffickers want control over every bit of your life – your money, your routine, and who you see. You may feel like you have zero say in anything.

Isolation: Traffickers aim to cut you off from friends, family, and anyone who might help you. They might discourage you from seeing your loved ones or going to social events.

Pressured into Sex Work: You are being pushed or forced to work in the sex industry against your will. This could include escort services, prostitution, or other sex work. This may seem casual at first, where your partner may pressure you into performing sexual favors for his friends or say you must do this work to help financially support the two of you.

Finances: Traffickers usually have a tight grip on your earnings, making you dependent on them for survival. They may say that you owe them a debt or make up complex financial schemes that make it challenging for you to understand how much you owe.

Abuse: Victims often go through physical violence, emotional torture, and threats if they try to escape the situation.

Tattoos or “Branding”: Some traffickers use tattoos or marks to show that you're "theirs."

Seeking Support

Realizing you're in a manipulative or trafficking situation is a brave step towards taking your life back. You deserve a relationship that respects your freedom, safety, and happiness. If something feels off in your relationship, don't ignore that feeling. If your partner's actions make you uneasy, don't brush it aside. Share your worries with a close friend, family member, or counselor you're comfortable with for an outsider’s perspective. They can be a rock of support.1

Consider reaching out to a helpline or a local organization that's skilled in helping people in your situation. In the U.S., you can call the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 1-888-373-7888. These professionals can help you make a plan that keeps you safe.

Recognizing manipulation and sex trafficking in a relationship is incredibly difficult, but you're not alone. By understanding the signs, trusting your gut, and reaching out for help, you're taking control of your life and working toward a brighter, safer future. Remember, you deserve happiness and freedom, and there are people and organizations ready to help you reclaim your life.